EPTHow do you approach a girl? - Page 4
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MrRammstein
Poland339 Posts
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Chef
10810 Posts
Whoever criticized ahraras idea about being respectful and such is an idiot, this guy isnt looking for a quick fuck in a library, he wants someone meaningful.. Except that he admitted it never works and they all just end up being 'friends.' But I guess there's a difference between being respectful and being a pussy. | ||
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ahrara_
Afghanistan1715 Posts
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ulszz
Jamaica1787 Posts
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Hypnosis
United States2061 Posts
On July 13 2008 04:51 ahrara_ wrote: not to get personal, but maybe you're not the person to be acting like you know wtf you're talking about. i never "admitted it never works". I make a lot of friends approaching people, but I also meet girls where we're both mutually attracted. What I don't meet are girls who just want to hook up. Either me and that girl move on to a romantic level, or we don't, and stay friends. there are plenty of fish in the sea... I don't need to meet MORE girls. I need to meet "right" girls. im not a pick-up artist by any means, and i don't want to be. You never know whats going to happen so just meet everyone you can.. by being nice and listening to what people have to say lol. If you sense that a girl likes to be teased just be an asshole and she will jump on your nuts though. | ||
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YPang
United States4024 Posts
On July 12 2008 15:35 ahrara_ wrote: That's neither witty nor funny. It's kind of creepy actually, and makes you sound like an ass. Very attractive girls know they're very attractive. They get approached by dozens of guys like showtime who think they're the shit. If you want them to think you're actually a down-to-earth person and sincere, just go up to them and introduce yourself. Ask them if they're waiting for someone, so you're not putting them in a bad position, and ask to sit down with them or buy a drink. Take a few minutes to ask them questions, get to know them. Act reserved and respectful. Sometimes you'll find something in common and the conversation will go on naturally... sometimes it won't. In the latter case, excuse yourself politely, saying something like "I have to go talk to my friends." Leave her your number, so you're not imposing, and so she doesn't get a chance to reject you. Tell her she can get in touch with her anytime she likes, and if she doesn't, that's fine too. Just try to keep in mind that despite what you see in movies, most girls are looking for guys to treat them with respect and who aren't full of themselves. Some people have natural charm, but you don't need that to be able to approach girls. Just be yourself =). Do yourself a favor and don't read that "pickupartist" shit... human beings are not all tools that are that easy to manipulate. You'll need self confidence for this... and there's no advice that can give you that. I will tell you it's something that gets easier with rehearsal. If you listen do what this post says, you'll look needy, desperate, just like the other 50 guys, and lowering your power comparing to hers, but thats okay! go ahead try it out, it won't hurt no? Plus now you'd know what doesn't work. | ||
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KaasZerg
Netherlands927 Posts
You could try saying hi. Then say don't you go to (insert school, college club etc). If she says no don't apologise. Just say she looks familiar blah blah. Go from there if she is in the mood to talk. If not move on. | ||
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ahrara_
Afghanistan1715 Posts
I would love to actually see these people who are recommending he act cocky actually try talking to a girl in a casual setting. I have a hard time picturing you coming off as anything less than an ass. | ||
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YPang
United States4024 Posts
On July 13 2008 08:33 ahrara_ wrote: I don't think you get it. OP is obviously not someone who can approach girls and be prince charming. Anyway, most people can't, but it doesn't mean they don't have ac hance at a relationship. If he tried approaching this girl "cocky" he'll just come off needy, desperate, and AWKWARD. If he tries being respectful and casually engage the girl in conversation and flirting, like I suggested, he'll have a better chance. I would love to actually see these people who are recommending he act cocky actually try talking to a girl in a casual setting. I have a hard time picturing you coming off as anything less than an ass. What you recommend will directly put him in the female's friendzone, if thats what he is going for sure thats okay. But inorder for you to be different from the rest of them, he needs to do or say something different. Cockyness is great, but it needs to be backed up with humor. Or another way to go with it is to use a completely weird ass opener like, "Did you know that when you eat your kidney and your bladder stops recieving blood?" No one has ever said this to her probably, and it'll make you complete different, plus you'll be able to carry on a "fun" conversation... But i do understand where you're coming from, it is true infact if you start acting cocky and you're not really a cocky person, because its uncongruent to your character, and it sends out a weird vibe. | ||
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Hypnosis
United States2061 Posts
On July 13 2008 11:20 YanGpaN wrote: What you recommend will directly put him in the female's friendzone, if thats what he is going for sure thats okay. But inorder for you to be different from the rest of them, he needs to do or say something different. Cockyness is great, but it needs to be backed up with humor. Or another way to go with it is to use a completely weird ass opener like, "Did you know that when you eat your kidney and your bladder stops recieving blood?" No one has ever said this to her probably, and it'll make you complete different, plus you'll be able to carry on a "fun" conversation... But i do understand where you're coming from, it is true infact if you start acting cocky and you're not really a cocky person, because its uncongruent to your character, and it sends out a weird vibe. incongruent** and dude, wtf are you talking about? If ANYONE said that to ANYBODY they would just walk away, that is the dumbest shit i have ever heard, do NOT say weird shit like that its just not good.. And the guy (the OP) were talking about is not trying to pick up chicks in a LIBRARY.. and if he is im laughing. But GL to you man. | ||
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ahrara_
Afghanistan1715 Posts
but that line and most others people are giving here are just terrible. you should be confident and act proud when you approach girls, but pickup lines like that are a no starter. i mean... christ dude... i can understand what you guys are saying, but lines like that are just ridiculous. put yourself in her position -- if you were approached by a girl who said something along those lines, you're immediately put on guard and you're already making all kinds of judgements. i mean really... think this through. after you deliver that godawful line, and she gives you a polite laugh, where do you go with that conversation exactly? edit: although in general kaas is right. it depends a lot on the girl, the setting, the level of intoxication... you wouldn't use a line like that in a coffee shop, but maybe at a party where everybody's at least a little tipsy. | ||
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YPang
United States4024 Posts
On July 13 2008 12:00 Hypnosis wrote: incongruent** and dude, wtf are you talking about? If ANYONE said that to ANYBODY they would just walk away, that is the dumbest shit i have ever heard, do NOT say weird shit like that its just not good.. And the guy (the OP) were talking about is not trying to pick up chicks in a LIBRARY.. and if he is im laughing. But GL to you man. It doesn't matter what you say, is how you say it. You can say the greatest joke at the best timings and you can still come off as being a wimp if you stare at the ground and saying it with a weak voice tone. Words are only 7% of what you communicate, plus women don't take what you say literally, and it makes them ponder. Something else that can be tried is if you go up to a girl and say "my sister thinks you're hot", it'll completly throw the women off balance because its something she's never delt with before! If you do the same old compliment on her looks thing you will be catagorized as all the other guys. and btw Its not really a pick up line, i just made it up at that 1 sec, just to give u an example. and araha the way you're viewing it is that you're putting yourself in that position as the girl does it. And guess what women and male attraction buttons are pushed differently, and is sparked differently. And i think you're also viewing the cocky/funny method the same way, by placing yourself in the position of the girl. Men don't like to be teased, don't like to be messed around with, because men aren't attracted to those personalities, but women are, why else do you think all the bad boys gets the girls, and the girl still stays withe the abuser? its because he shows manliness and is not a wuss, and his abuse is completely covered up by his attractiveness. I'm not saying you go out to abuse women, but its sorta taking the positive traits of the jerk, and elmiminate the negative. The goal is to not become like all the other 50 guys so you CAN actually show yourself instead of being immediatly blown off when you do the same thing as the other 50 guys! Hot women don't have time to give every man who approach them a chance, they give it to the one that is different. It doesn't matter really how your different as long as you don't try to rape her different i think its okay. | ||
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ahrara_
Afghanistan1715 Posts
what i posted is my approach to meeting new people. i've been "using it" for years. it doesn't get me laid, but it makes me plenty of friends, and it has landed me romantic dates. it's something i'm basing on experience. my intuition tells me what you're saying is based on what people tell you about how to talk to women. in my experience, cockiness is poor flirting method. i mean if you can prove me wrong through experience, i'd probably believe you more. but i have a really hard time seeing how the line 'my sister thinks you're hot' will get you anywhere... and again not to be personal, but haven't you expressed before that you're not very social to begin with? i mean there's nothing wrong with that, a lot of people here aren't the most outgoing, but if you don't spend a lot of time around people, then you shouldn't be giving advice with that kidn of authoritative tone. | ||
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YPang
United States4024 Posts
On July 13 2008 14:20 ahrara_ wrote: tell me about a time when you pulled this off successfully. what i posted is my approach to meeting new people. i've been "using it" for years. it doesn't get me laid, but it makes me plenty of friends, and it has landed me romantic dates. it's something i'm basing on experience. my intuition tells me what you're saying is based on what people tell you about how to talk to women. in my experience, cockiness is poor flirting method. i mean if you can prove me wrong through experience, i'd probably believe you more. but i have a really hard time seeing how the line 'my sister thinks you're hot' will get you anywhere... and again not to be personal, but haven't you expressed before that you're not very social to begin with? i mean there's nothing wrong with that, a lot of people here aren't the most outgoing, but if you don't spend a lot of time around people, then you shouldn't be giving advice with that kidn of authoritative tone. um.. these are not memorized lines, i just came up with it as i typed it out. When have i expressed myself im not very social? Have you been doing searches on my username? i probably was very not social if i did ever write anything about my personal life on tl.net except for my testing habits. But what i've learned has changed that, and i'm sharing it with the mindset that it does work, for me at least, and probably for many other people. There's tons of ways to look at this, im simply laying down one method, but i honestly do believe no method will work if you compliment on a hot girl's looks. And its okay to have bad experiences by using cockyness as a flirty method, but be because if you're physically attractive, women will assume that you're full of yourself, and if you display that its an instant turn off. But for average looking joes, it will work better than those who are naturally born with great looks. Or it may because you were using sheer cockyness, which is a turn off for women, and is lacking the sense of humor, or playfulness at the same time. However i do respect your opinions, and yes someone did tell me this, and i have used it times at parties, and at other places such as school. It worked much bettter FOR ME than simply going over to a women im intersted in and say "wow your hot, can i buy you a drink?" | ||
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ahrara_
Afghanistan1715 Posts
no i see what you're saying. definitely i'm turned off to it coz it's not my character at all, i wouldn't want to approach anybody like that, and probably couldn't i'd feel so awkward. but if it works for you than kudos =) | ||
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XenOsky
Chile2176 Posts
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Night[Mare
Mexico4793 Posts
yes, it can be the most enjoyable relationship you might have, however, i will warning you: i had such a terrible experience with this. I was in a pink bubble while it lasted, but when it was over ( complicated situation ) i was completly broken, and the friendship was gone forever. Most guys say "yeah i can keep a friendship after a relationship" but, you wouldnt truly know until you're after the relationship. I used to say that. But sadly i wish we could still be friends. Value your friendship and ask whether its worthy or not to go for the relationship. you're risking lots | ||
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MrRammstein
Poland339 Posts
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Chef
10810 Posts
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geometryb
United States1249 Posts
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