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On July 12 2008 15:35 ahrara_ wrote:Show nested quote +On July 12 2008 10:32 Showtime! wrote:
In fact, the 3-5 second rule works well if you're trying to break the ice with a stranger. Works like this. You make eye contact, raise 3 or 5 fingers, start the countdown and she'll be like "wtf is he doing?!?!", approach her once all your fingers are down and say something witty and funny, such as: "someone's a little shy. I noticed you were looking at me and there's no point yelling across the room, so I thought I would introduce myself. I'm ____." That's neither witty nor funny. It's kind of creepy actually, and makes you sound like an ass. Very attractive girls know they're very attractive. They get approached by dozens of guys like showtime who think they're the shit. If you want them to think you're actually a down-to-earth person and sincere, just go up to them and introduce yourself. Ask them if they're waiting for someone, so you're not putting them in a bad position, and ask to sit down with them or buy a drink. Take a few minutes to ask them questions, get to know them. Act reserved and respectful. Sometimes you'll find something in common and the conversation will go on naturally... sometimes it won't. In the latter case, excuse yourself politely, saying something like "I have to go talk to my friends." Leave her your number, so you're not imposing, and so she doesn't get a chance to reject you. Tell her she can get in touch with her anytime she likes, and if she doesn't, that's fine too. Just try to keep in mind that despite what you see in movies, most girls are looking for guys to treat them with respect and who aren't full of themselves. Some people have natural charm, but you don't need that to be able to approach girls. Just be yourself =). Do yourself a favor and don't read that "pickupartist" shit... human beings are not all tools that are that easy to manipulate. You'll need self confidence for this... and there's no advice that can give you that. I will tell you it's something that gets easier with rehearsal.
worst advice ever. Wussnest is not the shit. You have 100x more chance going with a cocky approach rather than a wuss approach. guaranteed
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I think that depends on the girl. If she's a loner with almost no friends, a wuss approach is probably the best way not to scare her off.
Then again, it doesn't really matter what you say; she's already decided if you're attractive or not. But you're right about ahrara having terrible advice... Those are the qualities people look for in friends, not lovers. But he's at least right about pickupartist internet advice.
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Like those lions on savanna... they have 20% chance of getting their prey... but those are females ;P
Showtime may be right about eye contact. If she doesn't catch it or doesn't seem to react as if errr predator would like to, back off, don't waste energy
Another thing is looks... not only inherited in DNA but clean tooth, clothes etc ;P
edit: going to school taught me 1 thing: if you know any girls, "train" talking with them in non-ass manner...
edit3: I mean talk with them about whatever would you like to talk and earn experience from that... and what's more learn to feel comfortable around them
If you will know them closer after some time they may introduce you to someone... I know example when my friend was arranged to girl by his (female)friend... ended as success for years
edit2: no! I mean don't stare at her! try to catch brief eye contact if you want to errr begin closer relationship?
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Poll: Have you ever thought of asking matured women from your family x)?
(Vote): Yes
(Vote): lol no, they are too old
(Vote): already asked, they don't remember / give embarassing advices
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What peeople dont realize when they ask the interwebz for girls advice is that even if they did manage to gain enough balls to walk up to, greet, seduce and begin talking to a girl, they would epically fail afterwards.. Like after they met lol
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On July 12 2008 18:13 Hypnosis wrote:
What peeople dont realize when they ask the interwebz for girls advice is that even if they did manage to gain enough balls to walk up to, greet, seduce and begin talking to a girl, they would epically fail afterwards.. Like after they met lol
So? solution?
I think I was right about eye contact part, Kennigit wrote about it here too
What if real girl/woman is being asked? I know of at least 1 here... but don't know if asking her would end in ban. Search button for now...
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The best way to get into a relationship thats good is to already know them, meeting people you dont know is good but what the fuck do you expect it to just work out? You have nothing to lose by just talking to a girl with a greeting and being nice, from there we cannot say what will happen.
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On July 12 2008 18:33 Hypnosis wrote:
The best way to get into a relationship thats good is to already know them, meeting people you dont know is good but what the fuck do you expect it to just work out? You have nothing to lose by just talking to a girl with a greeting and being nice, from there we cannot say what will happen.
There is small chance of good circumstances... but what if someone don't have man-woman friendships to start from? There are some parties / breaks in school to do something about social life, no?
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Uhm rephrase that.. But yea your correct and you have to be able to meet people but i think the best way is to just become an outstanding person, that way people approach you. If you dont have the charisma in the first place. Or just take a chance by being interested in other people.
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On July 12 2008 15:35 ahrara_ wrote:Show nested quote +On July 12 2008 10:32 Showtime! wrote:
In fact, the 3-5 second rule works well if you're trying to break the ice with a stranger. Works like this. You make eye contact, raise 3 or 5 fingers, start the countdown and she'll be like "wtf is he doing?!?!", approach her once all your fingers are down and say something witty and funny, such as: "someone's a little shy. I noticed you were looking at me and there's no point yelling across the room, so I thought I would introduce myself. I'm ____." That's neither witty nor funny. It's kind of creepy actually, and makes you sound like an ass. Very attractive girls know they're very attractive. They get approached by dozens of guys like showtime who think they're the shit. If you want them to think you're actually a down-to-earth person and sincere, just go up to them and introduce yourself. Ask them if they're waiting for someone, so you're not putting them in a bad position, and ask to sit down with them or buy a drink. Take a few minutes to ask them questions, get to know them. Act reserved and respectful. Sometimes you'll find something in common and the conversation will go on naturally... sometimes it won't. In the latter case, excuse yourself politely, saying something like "I have to go talk to my friends." Leave her your number, so you're not imposing, and so she doesn't get a chance to reject you. Tell her she can get in touch with her anytime she likes, and if she doesn't, that's fine too. Just try to keep in mind that despite what you see in movies, most girls are looking for guys to treat them with respect and who aren't full of themselves. Some people have natural charm, but you don't need that to be able to approach girls. Just be yourself =). Do yourself a favor and don't read that "pickupartist" shit... human beings are not all tools that are that easy to manipulate. You'll need self confidence for this... and there's no advice that can give you that. I will tell you it's something that gets easier with rehearsal.
the quote you quoted sounds like something a guy like G5 or Idra would do LOL. That would NEVER WORK.
edit: jk guys  i dont even know you!
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On July 12 2008 18:44 Hypnosis wrote:
Uhm rephrase that.. But yea your correct and you have to be able to meet people but i think the best way is to just become an outstanding person, that way people approach you. If you dont have the charisma in the first place.
Well if by outstanding you mean alienating:
NO THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO GO, BELIEVE ME
Or just take a chance by being interested in other people.
lol don't be so generous by "being interested" oO
Simply talk to people, get used to them, make friends. The more people you know, the better.
I know what I am saying after years of alienating, understanding that and not doing enough about that.
School is great time to socialize... school is past for me and I won't start studying for some time.
You DO NOT want to find yourself alone years later, without place with lots of people to go... as I don't believe clubs or something can be considered as places to meet other people and make friends... unless someone is charismatic enough as you wrote ;P
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On July 12 2008 18:51 Hypnosis wrote:Show nested quote +On July 12 2008 15:35 ahrara_ wrote:On July 12 2008 10:32 Showtime! wrote:
In fact, the 3-5 second rule works well if you're trying to break the ice with a stranger. Works like this. You make eye contact, raise 3 or 5 fingers, start the countdown and she'll be like "wtf is he doing?!?!", approach her once all your fingers are down and say something witty and funny, such as: "someone's a little shy. I noticed you were looking at me and there's no point yelling across the room, so I thought I would introduce myself. I'm ____." That's neither witty nor funny. It's kind of creepy actually, and makes you sound like an ass. Very attractive girls know they're very attractive. They get approached by dozens of guys like showtime who think they're the shit. If you want them to think you're actually a down-to-earth person and sincere, just go up to them and introduce yourself. Ask them if they're waiting for someone, so you're not putting them in a bad position, and ask to sit down with them or buy a drink. Take a few minutes to ask them questions, get to know them. Act reserved and respectful. Sometimes you'll find something in common and the conversation will go on naturally... sometimes it won't. In the latter case, excuse yourself politely, saying something like "I have to go talk to my friends." Leave her your number, so you're not imposing, and so she doesn't get a chance to reject you. Tell her she can get in touch with her anytime she likes, and if she doesn't, that's fine too. Just try to keep in mind that despite what you see in movies, most girls are looking for guys to treat them with respect and who aren't full of themselves. Some people have natural charm, but you don't need that to be able to approach girls. Just be yourself =). Do yourself a favor and don't read that "pickupartist" shit... human beings are not all tools that are that easy to manipulate. You'll need self confidence for this... and there's no advice that can give you that. I will tell you it's something that gets easier with rehearsal. the quote you quoted sounds like something a guy like G5 or Idra would do LOL. That would NEVER WORK.
This is a problem or sure: not being shy but not being over-confident too.
Sometimes it's hard to even be friends with fellow males ;PP but it may be something to start from... next step - any kind of event?
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maybe it doesn't work for you and the girls you approach. or maybe you never tried it. whatever, i'm telling you what i'm telling you based on what i do that works. it works for my values and the way I like to engage people. I do make more friends this way than girlfriends, but I'd never feel comfortable or confident approaching someone like you're describing. Instead of telling me my advice doesn't work, recognize that different people have different approaches, and are around different kinds of environments. I think the same applies to the OP. He doesn't sound like the type who can come waltzing in and be prince charming. Instead he can play off being a good listener. I mean he's talking about girls in a library.
but to each their own. so long as what you do gets you what you want, then more power to you.
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what it comes down to is you have to be confident and sound interesting. any girl can tell a guy who just doesn't know how to talk to people, however you approach people. maybe if you don't feel confident approaching strangers, get yourself involved in things that boost your confident, like sports or public speaking.
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On July 12 2008 19:04 ahrara_ wrote:
maybe it doesn't work for you and the girls you approach. or maybe you never tried it. whatever, i'm telling you what i'm telling you based on what i do that works. it works for my values and the way I like to engage people. I do make more friends this way than girlfriends, but I'd never feel comfortable or confident approaching someone like you're describing. Instead of telling me my advice doesn't work, recognize that different people have different approaches, and are around different kinds of environments. I think the same applies to the OP. He doesn't sound like the type who can come waltzing in and be prince charming. Instead he can play off being a good listener. I mean he's talking about girls in a library.
but to each their own. so long as what you do gets you what you want, then more power to you.
Actually you are correct, for a meaningful relationship you have to be a girl's friend first, which builds a very strong base. Then it can become serious down the line. and it IS good to meet tons of people like some people mentioned, it just makes a better person out of you.
Whoever criticized ahraras idea about being respectful and such is an idiot, this guy isnt looking for a quick fuck in a library, he wants someone meaningful..
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"quick fuck in library" xD
I wonder if I will get banned after PMing FA... don't think so... but...
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On July 12 2008 19:15 Hypnosis wrote:Show nested quote +On July 12 2008 19:04 ahrara_ wrote:
maybe it doesn't work for you and the girls you approach. or maybe you never tried it. whatever, i'm telling you what i'm telling you based on what i do that works. it works for my values and the way I like to engage people. I do make more friends this way than girlfriends, but I'd never feel comfortable or confident approaching someone like you're describing. Instead of telling me my advice doesn't work, recognize that different people have different approaches, and are around different kinds of environments. I think the same applies to the OP. He doesn't sound like the type who can come waltzing in and be prince charming. Instead he can play off being a good listener. I mean he's talking about girls in a library.
but to each their own. so long as what you do gets you what you want, then more power to you. Actually you are correct, for a meaningful relationship you have to be a girl's friend first, which builds a very strong base. Then it can become serious down the line. and it IS good to meet tons of people like some people mentioned, it just makes a better person out of you. Whoever criticized ahraras idea about being respectful and such is an idiot, this guy isnt looking for a quick fuck in a library, he wants someone meaningful..
i don't agree with that first part. In general if you guys become "friends first" it means she's just not attracted to you in that way. I mean romantic tension is kinda hard to hide. If you want something more, you have to move faster and keep her intrigued romantically. If you reach that comfort level where you're friends, but there's no romance left, then that's all you'll ever be. Although if that happens, most likely she never liked you to begin with. People tend to get enamored with new people until they get to know them a little, at which point they either fall for them or they don't.
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On July 12 2008 19:29 ahrara_ wrote:Show nested quote +On July 12 2008 19:15 Hypnosis wrote:On July 12 2008 19:04 ahrara_ wrote:
maybe it doesn't work for you and the girls you approach. or maybe you never tried it. whatever, i'm telling you what i'm telling you based on what i do that works. it works for my values and the way I like to engage people. I do make more friends this way than girlfriends, but I'd never feel comfortable or confident approaching someone like you're describing. Instead of telling me my advice doesn't work, recognize that different people have different approaches, and are around different kinds of environments. I think the same applies to the OP. He doesn't sound like the type who can come waltzing in and be prince charming. Instead he can play off being a good listener. I mean he's talking about girls in a library.
but to each their own. so long as what you do gets you what you want, then more power to you. Actually you are correct, for a meaningful relationship you have to be a girl's friend first, which builds a very strong base. Then it can become serious down the line. and it IS good to meet tons of people like some people mentioned, it just makes a better person out of you. Whoever criticized ahraras idea about being respectful and such is an idiot, this guy isnt looking for a quick fuck in a library, he wants someone meaningful.. i don't agree with that first part. In general if you guys become "friends first" it means she's just not attracted to you in that way. I mean romantic tension is kinda hard to hide. If you want something more, you have to move faster and keep her intrigued romantically. If you reach that comfort level where you're friends, but there's no romance left, then that's all you'll ever be. Although if that happens, most likely she never liked you to begin with. People tend to get enamored with new people until they get to know them a little, at which point they either fall for them or they don't.
Yeah obsession hits in the first few days of someone you really are interested in, but i mean what if you are friends with someone because you cant be with them for sdome other reason. Friends first then later it becomes more is what im saying.
relationships are the most complicated thing in existence lol
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On July 12 2008 19:29 ahrara_ wrote:Show nested quote +On July 12 2008 19:15 Hypnosis wrote:On July 12 2008 19:04 ahrara_ wrote:
maybe it doesn't work for you and the girls you approach. or maybe you never tried it. whatever, i'm telling you what i'm telling you based on what i do that works. it works for my values and the way I like to engage people. I do make more friends this way than girlfriends, but I'd never feel comfortable or confident approaching someone like you're describing. Instead of telling me my advice doesn't work, recognize that different people have different approaches, and are around different kinds of environments. I think the same applies to the OP. He doesn't sound like the type who can come waltzing in and be prince charming. Instead he can play off being a good listener. I mean he's talking about girls in a library.
but to each their own. so long as what you do gets you what you want, then more power to you. Actually you are correct, for a meaningful relationship you have to be a girl's friend first, which builds a very strong base. Then it can become serious down the line. and it IS good to meet tons of people like some people mentioned, it just makes a better person out of you. Whoever criticized ahraras idea about being respectful and such is an idiot, this guy isnt looking for a quick fuck in a library, he wants someone meaningful.. i don't agree with that first part. In general if you guys become "friends first" it means she's just not attracted to you in that way. I mean romantic tension is kinda hard to hide. If you want something more, you have to move faster and keep her intrigued romantically. If you reach that comfort level where you're friends, but there's no romance left, then that's all you'll ever be. Although if that happens, most likely she never liked you to begin with. People tend to get enamored with new people until they get to know them a little, at which point they either fall for them or they don't.
but does it mean becoming friends isn't worth it at all?
She may know someone who can be your GF
or at least she may be great source and training field of how to talk with girls/women... what do they like, what are their experiences and what they don't like about them, etc ;P
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im up at 4am having a discussion about relationships and meeting girls with strangers over the internet
fuck my life oh my god
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EPT
