EPTWhat is the scientific evidence for children of divorced parents experiencing problems later on?
Here is one side:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/
Is there more to it?
Biggest life decision. - Page 3
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urboss
Austria1223 Posts
What is the scientific evidence for children of divorced parents experiencing problems later on? Here is one side: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/ Is there more to it? | ||
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boxerfred
Germany8360 Posts
On May 30 2014 04:00 urboss wrote: It's great to hear personal stories, but in the end that's what they are, personal stories, applicable only for the individual circumstances. What is the scientific evidence for children of divorced parents experiencing problems later on? Here is one side: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/ Is there more to it? Hearing personal stories might help though, especially on that topic. There are only a few rational things in a divorce, since divorce/splitting up basically IS about feelings, or the lack of them. IMO though, whatever you do - make sure your child will not have a bad experience by it. If you split up - well, try your best to make it alright for the little one. How you do that is completely upon you. | ||
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Random_0
United States1163 Posts
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hazdur
United States19 Posts
You got married, had a daughter, it's been a few months, and suddenly your wife is having mood swings. Did she start taking birth control pills, or switch brands? If she did, I would bet you money that's the problem. Some brands are like an attitude problem in a bottle, and the timing fits your story. Google search: "Birth control makes me grumpy" If it's the pills messing with her head, and she quits taking them, she should be back to normal in a few days. It's like night and day. | ||
739
Bearded Elder29905 Posts
Think about that, maybe those are the first sings of depression. | ||
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CNSnow
Greece67 Posts
As you grow up you walk out of your family enviroment and you should stand on your own as new and harder problems rise in front of you. In most circumastances you will not be ready to face them and you would most likely avoid them. But you can't (or you shouldn't) avoid them because they are hard, as this might have a bad effect on other people that you may love (or loved at some time). You have a daughter, and that is not a problem. Sure, there are some responsibilities and you can't do "whatever you want", but this is good as your daughter is the outcome of your love to your wife. Personaly, I hate when things change and I need to deal with new (and possibly harder) situation, but this is what makes the life such and adventure. Solving new problems is not an easy task, and sometime you may need help from other people around you, so don't be afraid to ask them, or think that they will only laugh at you, as everyone needs help from other people, more or less. You said that you have had a good time at the start of your relationship and at the start of your marriage. One approach is to try to adjust things you have been doing at the start of your relationship (when everything was good) to the current situation. For example, if you were going to cinema every second Saturday or once a month, try to do that now. Hire a babysitter for a night and go out with your wife. You also may go out for a walk with your wife and your child; maybe a short trip with the car. Generally, you should try to have fun (both of you) and see also the good side of your relationship. In general terms, don't tell her that you love her, show that you love her, show that you care about her and you will be always there! Most times those problems arise because people want different things at a current time and/or bevause they lack communacation at this stage of their live. So try to communicate with her and her needs. You might end up doing things that you don't want to (I don't know the situation and what your exact problems are so I answer your questions in a broader sense), but this is what matters toy raise a child into this world. You may also need some advice from relationship advisor (I don't know how to call him because English is not my mother tongue). Best of luck, and don't stop trying for things that matter! | ||
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ffswowsucks
Greece2298 Posts
After making this blog, I realized that I have to stand out for my wife more and that I need to spend time with them more. That's all she ever asked for me really. I have a PC-addiction were I want to be in front of my PC for the whole day and I just dont see it as a problem. Since yesterday me and my wife are having a blast together again and everything seems nice again. I hope it doesnt go away again in 1 week. ps: It wasnt 3 weeks that this situation was going on. Its more like 3+ months now. Thanx for all the help some have given me even tho you dont know who you are. | ||
Firebolt145
Lalalaland34504 Posts
 All the best. | ||
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endy
Switzerland8970 Posts
TL is so much like a secondary family for me. | ||
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autoexec
United States530 Posts
But congrats on having it work out. Spending time with one another having fun is definitely the best way to get through rough patches. Always seems to work with me. | ||
BigFan
TLADT24920 Posts
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boxerfred
Germany8360 Posts
On May 30 2014 10:43 Random_0 wrote: What the hell kind of advice are people giving here? Everyone is giving advice from the perspective of the kids, instead of the parents. I am married and have 2 kids. Studies show that couples which stick it out through hard times have much happier lives than couples which separate. My wife and I have had a ton of difficulties (we are also different ethnicities), but we are happy right now. I would advise you in the strongest possible terms to stick it out for your own happiness, not that of your kids. Getting a divorce is irreversible, and you will be worse off for it. No. Neither is setting your kid's happiness above all right, nor is setting your happiness above all. You're way oversimplifying stuff :/ but I don't want to start a flamewar, since the topic is way too serious. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
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ffswowsucks
Greece2298 Posts
So it seems that every summer when i get some free time off work and spend more time with my wife we always end up having a fight. Right now i cant stand that in every little stupid fight we have she brings up the divorce thing and how she cant live like this anymore and that she cant stand me anymore. Take note few days earlier to our vacation she was telling me she cant live without me. Things arent really working out altho i spend alot more time with my daughter which i love her to death. The most important thing i wanted to ask and that if i divorce is ringing in my head is: if i do divorce will my child hate me? Will my child forget me? Even tho my child is almost 2 i cant explain it but whenever she sees me its different from other people she love even her mother. She holds me differently. She hugs and kisses me without asking for it etc. Will i lose all that if i see her i dunno what the laws say about how.much time i could spend with ny child and the law here is always in favor of the mother so she will win the custody thats for sure. And also will breaking up will prob make me have a breakdown and wont be able to do anything of my own anymore? I cant explain it but right now i feel very safe but if ill go on my own with also the whole crisis thing over here i might end up in a gutter. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32157 Posts
that being said, if you both genuinely would like to try (as you should) you should be getting to therapy, both as a couple, and as individuals. you guys might be good together, but just lack the tools to effectively communicate your needs and wants. On September 01 2015 20:22 ffswowsucks wrote: The most important thing i wanted to ask and that if i divorce is ringing in my head is: if i do divorce will my child hate me? Will my child forget me? Even tho my child is almost 2 i cant explain it but whenever she sees me its different from other people she love even her mother. She holds me differently. She hugs and kisses me without asking for it etc. Will i lose all that if i see her i dunno what the laws say about how.much time i could spend with ny child and the law here is always in favor of the mother so she will win the custody thats for sure. there's obviously an adjustment period when custody changes but no your kid isnt going to hate you as long as you continue to be you, make time for them, etc just as you would if you were living with them. just be very active with them in any way possible, see them the max the law allows, fight for your custody and rights (or even full custody if you think you'd be better). the kids who end up growing up to hate their parent do so because that parent left, wasnt involved, and moved across the country or something. | ||
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ffswowsucks
Greece2298 Posts
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