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Song(s) of the Blog + Show Spoiler +L-L-L-L-Lucifer Ellie Goulding mmmmm delicious. (Was that creepy? Good.) PP SO UNDERRATED!
EDIT: I'm not saying that you shouldn't place any blame on the kids. Just that parents need to be accountable as well. Because with just a few precautions they can definitely do a large part to prevent these sorts of things.
Whether it be the VT massacre, Columbine, or a more recent shooting, students will always pose a real threat to their fellow students. Even just this month a kid walked into school and tossed his backpack on his desk, only to have a gun go off inside his backpack. Avoiding this situation really isn't the schools problem.
As soon as one of these tragedies occurs there is always a loud section of the public that insists on blaming the school for not having enough guards, pat-downs, metal detectors, inspections or whatever the popular reason is nowadays to make the school a scapegoat for a parents neglect.
In most of the school shootings that you hear of on the news you will hear about how the child had a long history of social ineptness and unhappiness. But what you don't hear about is the parental neglect. Because if the child is socially inept, depressed and has very scary/odd behavior you don't just fucking send them off to school no problem everyday. They clearly need help and you as a parent need to protect them from themselves and also protect society from your child.
If you sit back and do nothing and your kid shoots up a school, then your ass should be on the hook for it. If you send the kid to counselling and do all of the appropriate things to help your child and this still happens then you as a parent did your job and it's nothing more than a tragedy. It really is as simple as before your kid goes to school you just say, "Mind if I take a look in your backpack son?". BAM you just saved 30 lives, how easy was that? No matter what the excuse is, neglecting your kid(s) is a choice and that's that.
To create a simple visualization, just imagine you let your dog out to go to the bathroom and you go off and take a nap. Meanwhile he scurries across the street and bites your neighbors kid. What happens? Do they go after the dog? No. They sue your ass and put the dog down.
The same should go for your children, if you can't keep your kids under control or on a leash if you will, then don't have the kids or the courts will come after your ass for manslaughter and also simply endangering the community around you with your immaturity and neglect.
The biggest issue with this neglect is that it's especially common with parents that work 2 jobs without a degree and have 5 kids. To which I respond, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE FIVE KIDS? If you can't raise a number of kids properly, DONT HAVE THE KIDS. It's really that damn simple.
Neglect as a parent is a choice, no matter how many kids you have it's really just your fault. If you don't have the time or money for X number of kid(s), then don't have kids. If you sit back and let your kids run rampant and it causes a tragedy, you need to be on trial for manslaughter.
Let me know your opinion or if you have any relevant experiences! Sorry if I offended you it's just my personal opinion.
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yeah i agree, blame the parents. too much terrible parenting nowadays, at least one needs to be off work and constantly supporting the kid in my humble opinion. traditionally it was the woman, but if the woman really wants to work, the man needs to bite the bullet and raise the kids (of course not counting gay parents)
that's what i'm planning to do if/when i have kids at least. as a child raised in a two-working-parent household (where i wasnt really consistently supported for anything, they let me quit piano, they didnt see my swimming lessons through, they didnt even teach me to ride the bicycle), i can clearly see it had an impact on my social skills, work ethic, and understanding of the world in retrospect.
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It's valid to blame the parents only if they have the power to raise their kids in the manner that they decide. The problem is that the govt and the politically correct intercede with their own ideas of "correct parenting". Attaching blame on the parents like what the OP suggests is to give them responsibility but no power.
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that's retarded. People need to be responsible for their own actions.
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On January 21 2011 18:40 THE_DOMINATOR wrote: that's retarded. People need to be responsible for their own actions. you've obviously never dealt with the hair-tearing illogicalness of a preteen child. raising a child to be well-balanced is on the parents; if they fail, they should be aware of it and seek help to guide the children. children do not suddenly become responsible for their actions because they reach a certain age (though the law seems to best approximate such an age at 18, an age that happens to be above the age of most school shooters)
+ Show Spoiler +i dont really believe in free will, but if free will were to exist, certainly it would be something that slowly sets in throughout childhood, guided by parenting, rather than something endowed in all its glory at age 0
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On January 21 2011 18:44 SpiritoftheTunA wrote: i dont really believe in free will, but if free will were to exist, certainly it would be something that slowly sets in throughout childhood, guided by parenting, rather than something endowed in all its glory at age 0
thats a big point, a child transitions into a phase of violence and hatred. children dont go to sleep happy and perfectly functional and wake up a maniac. parents that dont neglect their kids will see the change in their kids behavior and seek help.
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I dunno, i was under the impression that it is mostly due to being bullied by fellow students that theese students snap. If you treat someone like crap day after day after day sooner or later they will snap, the only question is if they can make it through school before they snap or not. If they can, they usually get away from the bullies and might recover.
Remember back in school, me and my friends where nerdy but not victims of the bullies, not on any regular basis at least. One day we saw one of the bullies knock his favorite victim down and one of my friends turned to me and said something along the lines of "If they ever tries to treat me like that i will get a gun and to hell with the consequences" (he did not mean getting knocked down, he meant the daily abuse never letting up), the rest of us mostly agreed but i am not sure who among us would have had the balls to actually do it. But i think we all would have wanted to. Parents would not really have mattered i dont think, unless they would have stepped in and kicked the crap out the bullies.
I think the "blame" here lies with the school/society. What i always ask myself is what was done regarding the bullies, school and society need to step in and show that it is unacceptable behaviour. Ban from school for a week or two, split up friends into different classes and if that does not work make them switch schools. When i read an article about someone being bullied for two years by three classmates i wonder why they hell the bullies has been allowed to keep going to that school.
And "solutions" for someone being bullied as often that the victim has to switch school, so bloody retarded. Make the asshole bullies change schools, making the victim do it is like having a rape victim serve jail time and let the rapist get a medal. What kind of signal does that sends to the kids?
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On January 21 2011 18:40 THE_DOMINATOR wrote: that's retarded. People need to be responsible for their own actions.
This, depending on how they were raised and what not, but it's absolutely absurd to blame the parents unless they were abusive or something in a way which mentally affected the child.
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On January 21 2011 18:54 DND_Enkil wrote: I dunno, i was under the impression that it is mostly due to being bullied by fellow students that theese students snap. If you treat someone like crap day after day after day sooner or later they will snap, the only question is if they can make it through school before they snap or not. If they can, they usually get away from the bullies and might recover.
Remember back in school, me and my friends where nerdy but not victims of the bullies, not on any regular basis at least. One day we saw one of the bullies knock his favorite victim down and one of my friends turned to me and said something along the lines of "If they ever tries to treat me like that i will get a gun and to hell with the consequences" (he did not mean getting knocked down, he meant the daily abuse never letting up), the rest of us mostly agreed but i am not sure who among us would have had the balls to actually do it. But i think we all would have wanted to. Parents would not really have mattered i dont think, unless they would have stepped in and kicked the crap out the bullies.
I think the "blame" here lies with the school/society. What i always ask myself is what was done regarding the bullies, school and society need to step in and show that it is unacceptable behaviour. Ban from school for a week or two, split up friends into different classes and if that does not work make them switch schools. When i read an article about someone being bullied for two years by three classmates i wonder why they hell the bullies has been allowed to keep going to that school.
And "solutions" for someone being bullied as often that the victim has to switch school, so bloody retarded. Make the asshole bullies change schools, making the victim do it is like having a rape victim serve jail time and let the rapist get a medal. What kind of signal does that sends to the kids?
a good point, bullies are a big part of this as well. the schools would definitely be at fault in that regard.
but at the end of the day, the parents should also be there to help the kids deal with the bullying in a healthy way because a parent thats involved with their kids will definitely notice what's going on and help them through it with advice or contacting the school/parents of the bullies to do what they can to end the bullying.
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On January 21 2011 18:56 Phenny wrote:Show nested quote +On January 21 2011 18:40 THE_DOMINATOR wrote: that's retarded. People need to be responsible for their own actions. This, depending on how they were raised and what not, but it's absolutely absurd to blame the parents unless they were abusive or something in a way which mentally affected the child.
part of the job of being a parent is helping your child when they need it, if you pay little to no attention to your kids and things go on unfixed you should definitely be punished for being a bad parent.
you need a license to drive and for lots of things. why not a license to be a parent lol. imo theres just too much awful parenting and too many unemployed parents on welfare with 5-10 kids.
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United States41661 Posts
The parents of the shooter generally lose a child too. They deserve our sympathy too.
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On January 21 2011 19:02 GT wrote:Show nested quote +On January 21 2011 18:56 Phenny wrote:On January 21 2011 18:40 THE_DOMINATOR wrote: that's retarded. People need to be responsible for their own actions. This, depending on how they were raised and what not, but it's absolutely absurd to blame the parents unless they were abusive or something in a way which mentally affected the child. part of the job of being a parent is helping your child when they need it, if you pay little to no attention to your kids and things go on unfixed you should definitely be punished for being a bad parent. you need a license to drive and for lots of things. why not a license to be a parent lol. imo theres just too much awful parenting and too many unemployed parents on welfare with 5-10 kids.
I agree with the first, while in most cases yes it holds true, not always do they display any behaviour that reasonably indicates they need help (I admit this population is minimal, but existent).
Hmm, I'm too pro freedom to agree with the parent license thing, however the amount of bogan filth I see it kind of makes me wonder if it's a reasonable idea. I mean I feel really bad to see kids growing up with parents with no clue about anything at all.
EDIT:
On January 21 2011 18:14 GT wrote:
EDIT: I'm not saying that you shouldn't place any blame on the kids. Just that parents need to be accountable as well.
Completely agree with this (in ~95%+ of situations).
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In general I disagree with the OP. At some point a child has to be able to take responsibility for some his own actions, even at a relatively young age. The school shootings that were mentioned show more a similarity to suicide than anything else. And people usually don't blame the parents for that.
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Sure we can blame everything on the parents but that's actually very shortsighted. No parent will know exactly what their kid does or feels because the kid doesn't want them to know. That's just normal. Everybody is responsible for their own actions.
The real problem here is that it's very easy for American kids to obtain a firearm. Period. If in other countries it would be as easy to obtain a firearm as in America you would see a lot more school shootings in those countries as well. I think in Norway or Finland school shootings also happen from time to time?
Highschool is a very turbulent time in the life of a kid with a lot of emotions raging through them. This can always lead to excesses (especially under the less popular kids) but in most countries they are being kept in check as there are no realistic means to "get back to the wrongdoers".
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id agree that a license to parent seems a little extreme, and its certainly not my first choice as a solution to the problem. but it still does seem pretty logical.
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The biggest issue with this neglect is that it's especially common with parents that work 2 jobs without a degree and have 5 kids. To which I respond, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE FIVE KIDS? If you can't raise a number of kids properly, DONT HAVE THE KIDS. It's really that damn simple.
Neglect as a parent is a choice, no matter how many kids you have it's really just your fault. If you don't have the time or money for X number of kid(s), then don't have kids. If you sit back and let your kids run rampant and it causes a tragedy, you need to be on trial for manslaughter.
Yes part of the blame could be the parents; but the above statements are very ignorant of social and class issues. So much so the whole pretence of the post is crippled by it.
Especially since the profile you try to place on the crazy kids isn't the profile of these kids but just a stereotype of ethnic minorities. A profile which rather then causes these kinds of things is actually an environment of lots of kids in a family that prevents this kind of thing.
Being a more pessimistic person i'd say this post has a little truth with a completely illogical underlying racist twinge to the end of it.
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On January 21 2011 19:23 Adeeler wrote:Show nested quote +The biggest issue with this neglect is that it's especially common with parents that work 2 jobs without a degree and have 5 kids. To which I respond, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE FIVE KIDS? If you can't raise a number of kids properly, DONT HAVE THE KIDS. It's really that damn simple.
Neglect as a parent is a choice, no matter how many kids you have it's really just your fault. If you don't have the time or money for X number of kid(s), then don't have kids. If you sit back and let your kids run rampant and it causes a tragedy, you need to be on trial for manslaughter.
Yes part of the blame could be the parents; but the above statements are very ignorant of social and class issues. So much so the whole pretence of the post is crippled by it.
The statements are ignorant because some people aren't responsible enough to use birth control? I don't really see it.
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On January 21 2011 19:23 Adeeler wrote:Show nested quote +The biggest issue with this neglect is that it's especially common with parents that work 2 jobs without a degree and have 5 kids. To which I respond, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE FIVE KIDS? If you can't raise a number of kids properly, DONT HAVE THE KIDS. It's really that damn simple.
Neglect as a parent is a choice, no matter how many kids you have it's really just your fault. If you don't have the time or money for X number of kid(s), then don't have kids. If you sit back and let your kids run rampant and it causes a tragedy, you need to be on trial for manslaughter.
Yes part of the blame could be the parents; but the above statements are very ignorant of social and class issues. So much so the whole pretence of the post is crippled by it.
If you cannot support the kids, having them is the first step on a long road to terrible parenting.
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The real problem is that X kid will get access to a GUN. so its not the parents fault only but also the availability of guns in most countries.
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Can you please give an example of a school shooting because they had shitty parents?
Just blaming the parents is very very shortsighted.
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