I meet a girl at uni. We have about the same courses. We sit together. After some time, we realize that we share the same humour. We laugh a lot.
When we have different classes, she waits for me outside. We start going to the cafeteria together. We take the same train home. She starts to playfully hit me when I tease her.
I have been suffering from depression for several years now. I haven't had a serious relationship during that time, because I don't want to drag someone else into the mess that is my personality. I get through (social) life by playing a role, doing what is expected from me in certain situations and nodding/smiling a lot. So I usually don't tease girls.
With her, its hard to resist though. She is always so positive and bubbly, its infectious. I relax around her. We start sharing more personal things. Both of us have very similar problems with our families. She tells me that she trusts me. It makes me feel good.
Today, we talk. Suddenly, she looks at me expectantly.
"You know, I am not so good at telling someone that I like him..."
My heart beats faster. The voices of the other people in the room drown out. It's like there are only the two of us there. I open my mouth to say something when she continues.
"... so do you have any idea how I should tell that one guy in my Spanishclass that I would like to go out with him?"
The world freezes. I blink.
I feel so stupid for even having the idea of a relationship with her. I am angry at her, because she hasn't even spoken more than two sentences to that guy but is more attracted to him than me. I feel sick, and my stomach burns.
Today, we take the train home in seperated compartments.
So yeah. Any ideas how I could have prevented that? Suggestions how I should deal with her now would be also welcomed, since I don't have a clue.
pretty much have to state your intentions immediately or you fall into this shitstorm you are in. Unless they have some secret crush on you first or something which isnt something thats good to bank on.
That has always been my fear. So I constantly ask myself "are you sure she likes you?? What if shes just a really good friend? " Some girls are just like that though... not necessarily misleading.. but playful in general towards guys. =p I'm sorry it happened man
if simple invite her to go out friday night or saturday night to a place she knows that place can only go ppl that are in love or trying to be in love, like a Restaurant, party, discotec, movie all depends of what she likes, and there dont talk about yourself talk about the ambient u are talk about her, womens like when a man pay atention to her pay the bills where u go with her, but dont buy thing like flowers, perfumes, cause she will be insterested in that and not u in the long term.
what im trying to mean is be yourself used your best clothe and perfume try to impress her but being ur self
beating around the bush doesnt work sorry pal. on the bright side you still have time to woo her. and challenge your depression everyway you can alright? easier said than done but worth the time to type it.
OP: Sounds like you got seriously friend-zoned though. Try to just pull the stuff other people pull. There's plenty of women in this world so you can just practice on some.
For example, maybe you need to have a more alphamale approach. You need to establish your control of every situation, even if you really aren't. Make her feel like she needs to go to you instead of the other way around. One thing I've noticed is that women you really like often pick up that signal already and that makes them automatically look for fish elsewhere.
I know how you feel but you gotta man up. Assume attraction, and like someone else said you have to state your intentions EARLY. Chances are she has seen you as a friend for quite some time now.
Don't be a wuss, don't put girls on piedestals and don't give a fuck.
On October 24 2009 03:11 Sadist wrote: pretty much have to state your intentions immediately or you fall into this shitstorm you are in. Unless they have some secret crush on you first or something which isnt something thats good to bank on.
yep what Sadist said, friend zone man, once you enter it, you are in deep shit :/
On October 24 2009 03:24 Foucault wrote: cry me a river man
I know how you feel but you gotta man up. Assume attraction, and like someone else said you have to state your intentions EARLY. Chances are she has seen you as a friend for quite some time now.
Don't be a wuss, don't put girls on piedestals and don't give a fuck.
Yeah, telling the guy with diagnosed depression to "stop being a wuss" is definitely a worthy contribution to the debate. Way to go pal.
My take on the situation: You've been friend-zoned. Happens to every man at least once in his life. Not really much you can do about it. You still have one option though, because she doesn't know how you feel about her. Swallow down your feelings (if you can) and stay friends with her, or avoid her. She might not even notice, so don't expect her to come running after you.
That sounds harsh, but such is life. I feel for you man, you know I do =[
*Shrug* just from reading your post it sure sounds like you need a true friend much more than a relationship anyway, and she definitely seems like someone who could become one. Don't worry so much about her gender and just be with her and have fun? Though if you are already hopelessly "in love" I guess it might be too late for that :/
If you tell her you like her you risk making the friendship awkward. However, I've been in situations where there are two friends, and one of them says they like the other, and the other didn't feel the same. It is awkward for a while but now we are actually best friends. It is not an all or nothing decision. You can tell her how you feel and still make things work if she doesn't feel the same way.
Of course it doesn't always work out that way and it could become awkward and you two drift apart and stop talking completely. Or she might say yes and you date eachother.
It all depends on what you're willing to risk and lose.
It's cool man. Seriously though, everyone has gone through it at least once. I assure you. ;p Being friend zoned sucks. I was once in it too...move on since there are plenty of girls out there.
What the hell, just tell her how you feel. Man up.
If she doesn't feel the same way about you, then you can still be just friends. It just takes time to recover and then you can start meeting each other again. And who knows, you may become even closer.
If she talks about other guys, touch the subject lightly and then change the topic. Don't become the emotional tampon. Jesus christ, please don't.
If you have feelings for her, you have to let her know -- doesn't matter how you do it (though I'd suggest being creative), but really, what do you have to lose? Being stuck in the friend-zone?
Just do it. If it's not meant to be it's not meant to be. No regrets.
Question #1. Are you on her Spanish class? it could be a hint LOL i hope so If not Question #2. Why havent you told her you like her?
The girl im with, was a girl i blogged earlier this year. I was after her, and never gave up.. finally she ended up seeing my real side (lol just when i decided i wasnt going to try anymore) and im with her. I then showed her the blog i made about 2 months later... she laughed and was very moved by it.
I sincerely hope you can do something about it. Try not to feel discouraged, toughen up, and be a man. She told you what she thinks.. you tell her what you think. Once the words are coming out, its not that hard.
Good luck
PS: im listening to some Kings of Convenience music right now... this was exactly what i was listening to when i wrote my blog, so if i sound a bit imaginitive blame the music
wow you totally got friended, as several others have already pointed out. Getting in a relationship for a girl is an emotional risk. Because of this, they usually go with someone they don't already have an attachment to so if it soon doesn't work out the breakup is not as bad as if she were dating a good friend like you. In other words, don't become friends with a chick if you want to date her.
Don't listen to anyone in this thread that tells you to "tell her how you feel."
If she had any feeling for you, she would never have told you she liked another guy.
Once you are a "friend" that's it. I understand it is horrible but that's reality. In fact, my roommate told a girl he likes that he had feelings for her. And this girl clearly all along did not have feelings for him. She just gave some lame excuse like, "you're like all my other boyfriends from high school and I don't want to date someone like that."
90% advice in this thread blows.....why? coz it doesnt actually help anything. its all "give up" advice...men are SO SO good at giving up and rationalising their failures, its pathetic
a) are you in her spanish class/was she talking about you?
b) reflect on yourself and her and figure out why she might not find you attractive. this could be a range of reasons and you might not be able to figure it out until you've known her for longer.
c) do something about it if you feel that you are lacking some positive qualities that is causing your failings
d) realise that if she doesnt respond well to qualities you think are positive then perhaps you don't honestly see eye-to-eye with one another. the girl isn't always right
e) tbh your op was so well-written i begin to think it was fabricated hehe
f) you dont have to "confess" to her but probably will if you're an emotional reject. if you do this then its likely that you'll set yourself back 6 months with her. instead just wait until you have a good night, a little tipsy, and shes laughing at something....THEN try it on. you gotta wait for the right moment man!!!!!!
To op: this will worsen your depression and crush every single tiny bit of your self exteem. It doesn't even hurt as much as the start than it does when you really feel alone. In my own experience when you are in this situation and you are depressed/emotively not stable whatever you do won't make you feel good. The only suggestion I can give is to never do anything that has even the slightiest possibility to hurt your feelings. Play safe with your life when you are depressed, you don't want to face the consequences And well some people when drunk are very susceptible to change their mind. If you are one of them get drunk with someone to who you can speak about her and end up insulting her or the female gender with him. Or try to force yourself to see her as an object rather than a person. It helps in the short terms even if you somehow have a deep respect for women.
I think this is a fair description of your situation: + Show Spoiler +
--- humor at your expense aside, the metaphor remains, the MOMENT you detect you are in the friend zone orbit, you must put Full Throttle On and try to break out with your Drill That Pierces the Heavens. If you wait too long it will be too late. The longer you wait the more fubar things get.
The next time you see her, suit up, arm yourself with a bouquet of roses, ready a limo, and abduct her to lunch at a casual cafe. Or something less dramatic that still gets the message across.
On October 24 2009 03:34 KlaCkoN wrote: *Shrug* just from reading your post it sure sounds like you need a true friend much more than a relationship anyway, and she definitely seems like someone who could become one. Don't worry so much about her gender and just be with her and have fun? Though if you are already hopelessly "in love" I guess it might be too late for that :/
This seems kind of a good advice. At least you may think about it, if you can handle the "being friends". It might turn out to be an awesome friendship, I would not take this out of consideration. Being friends with a girl you really like and somehow LIKE can be frikkin wearing for the first few weeks and maybe months, especially seeing "them" together, but on the other hand, you're in danger of loosing someone you simply share a lot and can have a shitload of good times together.
You may also decide if you tell her or not. Having what you wrote, I cannot judge if you should or not. Will she distrust you afterwards, thinking you do all the stuff "just to get her" or because you feel comfortable around her and feelings are developing.
Its not just allin and either he gets her or you, keep that in mind. I've failed to state clearly what was on my mind and quite clearly am pretty happy with my friends and - here comes the sad part - mostly got to know the girl and diddnt like her anymore. haha crap.
That sucks, but this story seems all too familiar. Girls often times seem to like the guys who won't give them the time of day initially while the guys who try to be friends with them end up as.... just friends.
You could just keep being friends with her and at least have that. Or alternatively you could gradually distance yourself from her, increase your physical attractiveness and get a girlfriend to make her uber jealous.
condoms will save you from aids usually, but only reduces the risk of many common stds, the only safe answer is abstinence
what planet are you from exactly?
perhaps not abstinence, but avoid promiscuity
no... I meant what kind of std's doesen't condoms protect you from?
On topic, no need to worry, if you are able to, keep your friendship with her, otherwise it's not really a big deal. I mean, everything happens when you least expect it, so there's really no need to stress things!
On October 24 2009 05:14 cgrinker wrote: She's actually talking about you dude.
Well unless this guy has no ability to read social cues wouldn't he have been able to decipher that from the way she asked him? I guess it wouldn't hurt for him to say something like "just tell the guy how you feel," and then if she really does like the OP she can say so.
She's obviously very comfortable around you right? So why would she need to go finda boy that she actually can't talk to in order to be in s relationship? Sounds a little fishy to me....
Try this: her-"Blah Blah Blah Spanish class dude"
you- <smiling in your teasing joking manner> "Oh come on don't do that"
her- "Do what?"
you- "That thing where girls tell boys whom they actually like being around that there's some unatainable boy somewhere else. Its not fitting of you."
Then get up and walk the fuck away, mysterious Kenniget style
Wall of text incoming, as I have been in a similar situation earlier in life.
Relevant to the future - if there is one lesson to be learned here, it is that when you have an opening with a girl, go for it. Always. Don't wait for things to happen, because they don't (with few exceptions, but basing life on luck is foolish). Being alone makes depression worse, and having someone around can only make it better (as well as sex being a basic human need, just as much as eating and sleeping - only instead of draining your body not having it drains your soul). You get better with practice, and that is always good for self-esteem issues ( - you're doing well at the expressive side of things, that means you have talent for this). And women get used to them and attraction lessens if not acted on over time, it puts you in the friend-zone which is a place that SUCKS ASS unless the chick is cool and sets you up with her hot friends all the time (rare, but happens). Last but not least - even in the worst case, failing doesn't fuck with you the way not trying does (as you probably know by now). This is a rule you should adopt for life, and it is never to early (or late) to see how much simpler things are when you follow it.
The first thing for this specific case: don't give her much time anymore. Look elsewhere for social life. In this case, your chances are slim to nonexistent for any positive outcome, and if those chances exist, she will come to you when the distance you create settles in. In general, tunneling your feelings into physical exertion (jogging, gym workouts, etc) helps your feeling more than anything else. And nothing helps in getting over a chick like another one.
----- Oh, and Urth, the best way to not get STDs is not have sex with someone that has them. Abstinence is nice and all of that (actually, no, it's living hell, but hey, to each his own), and some catholic priests can prove that it's not always practical.
This situation is unavoidable dude. Girls do this to just about everyone at one point or another in their life. They get it in their head that a guy just wants to be friends.. fools.
Sorry you had to experience that. But no, there is no avoiding it. Better luck next time <3
you have to decide if you want to be friends with her and if that's "enough" for you. if not, you can still try to tell her your feelings and see what happens - it wouldn't matter anyways if you couldn't stand being together with her only as friends now.
but that's bad and asshole advice, she's probably a wonderful person and still a good friend - so see what compromise you can make with your feelings.
I'm bringing sexy back Them other boys don't know how to act I think it's special what's behind your back So turn around and i'll pick up the slack. Take em' to the bridge
[Bridge] Dirty babe You see these shackles Baby I'm your slave I'll let you whip me if I misbehave It's just that no one makes me feel this way
Take em' to the chorus
[Chorus] Come here girl Go ahead, be gone with it Come to the back Go ahead, be gone with it VIP Go ahead, be gone with it Drinks on me Go ahead, be gone with it Let me see what you're working with Go ahead, be gone with it Look at those hips Go ahead, be gone with it You make me smile Go ahead, be gone with it Go ahead child Go ahead, be gone with it And get your sexy on Go ahead, be gone with it
Get your sexy on Go ahead, be gone with it
[X6]
Get your sexy on
[Verse 2] I'm bringing sexy back Them other boys don't know how to act Come let me make up for the things you lack Cause your burning up I gotta get it fast Take em' to the bridge
[Bridge]
[Chorus]
[Verse 3] I'm bringing sexy back Them other boys watch while I attack If that's your girl you better watch your back Cause she'll burn it up for me and that's a fact
You've invested too much into a girl without any real signs that she's interested. The trick with women is to not care. That way you don't focus on just one girl while blocking out the entire sea of potential ladies who may like you. I've learned the hard way that when you invest emotion into girls like that, that it really rarely works out. You also have to be upfront with them about your intentions or you WILL get friend zoned and that is never good.
On October 24 2009 06:00 DeathSpank wrote: You've invested too much into a girl without any real signs that she's interested. The trick with women is to not care. That way you don't focus on just one girl while blocking out the entire sea of potential ladies who may like you. I've learned the hard way that when you invest emotion into girls like that, that it really rarely works out. You also have to be upfront with them about your intentions or you WILL get friend zoned and that is never good.
I see so many guys doing this. Golden advice right here!
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Don't go after just one girl, try to be friends with many girls and see how it goes with each one. The thing with women is that they are very competitively against eachother, why the hell do you think they spend so much time making their face, their hair and cloths? Not to impress men thats for sure, if that was the case all they needed to do was to walk around naked.
They are doing because they are competing against other women! If a girl sees a guy with allot of female friends they can't help but feel an attraction for that guy.
If one particular girl becomes the girlfriend of a guy that already has allot of female friends that girl has "won" over the other girl pack.
On October 24 2009 06:00 DeathSpank wrote: You've invested too much into a girl without any real signs that she's interested. The trick with women is to not care. That way you don't focus on just one girl while blocking out the entire sea of potential ladies who may like you. I've learned the hard way that when you invest emotion into girls like that, that it really rarely works out. You also have to be upfront with them about your intentions or you WILL get friend zoned and that is never good.
"She starts to playfully hit me when I tease her."
Wtf.
This is starting to become a pet-peeve of mine.
This is supposed to be a pre/mid puberty manifestation of "i like you but don't know how to express this feeling i have so my brain panics and decides to tease/push/hit you instead". You know?
The fact that this sort of underdeveloped behavior persists all the way into Uni and beyond is such a mystery to me, even if it's you've never learned, why can't you at least try to emulate observed behavior?
I'd stay away from her as she's not ready for a relationship (which i believe is what you need), she just needs to experiment and have her romantic illusions dispelled.
As for the topic: "girls" - the standing advice is as always - be successful at something, whatever it is, even if it's a video game - if you're not an unhygienic mess: girls will be drawn to the confidence that stems from your success.
On October 24 2009 06:39 Thrill wrote: "She starts to playfully hit me when I tease her."
Wtf.
This is starting to become a pet-peeve of mine.
This is supposed to be a pre/mid puberty manifestation of "i like you but don't know how to express this feeling i have so my brain panics and decides to tease/push/hit you instead". You know?
The fact that this sort of underdeveloped behavior persists all the way into Uni and beyond is such a mystery to me, even if it's you've never learned, why can't you at least try to emulate observed behavior?
I'd stay away from her as she's not ready for a relationship (which i believe is what you need), she just needs to experiment and have her romantic illusions dispelled.
As for the topic: "girls" - the standing advice is as always - be successful at something, whatever it is, even if it's a video game - if you're not an unhygienic mess: girls will be drawn to the confidence that stems from your success.
i agree 200% on the beeing successful at something part. beeing passionate about something is also quite a turner.
On October 24 2009 07:28 Perguvious wrote: I thought good relationships were based on a strong friendship
Like Eddie Muphy said you gotta make a woman come really hard and then she'll be yours forever. And I'm pretty sure he's better with women than me so ;/
On October 24 2009 07:28 Perguvious wrote: I thought good relationships were based on a strong friendship
Like Eddie Muphy said you gotta make a woman come really hard and then she'll be yours forever. And I'm pretty sure he's better with women than me so ;/
i randomly remembered some movie where he was chilling with his best friends girl and tried to get closer, she said "we are friends" to what he replied "friends can have sex" and started making out with her
I would have just been honest and said "I thought you meant me!" That way you make her feel guilty and can flirt with her/take the attention away from the spandiard or whatever.
Being friendzoned is not as bad as it seems. If you have alot of friends that are girls its only better for you because eventually you will date someone and then they get jealous and realize you are the shit and will want to be with you. Plus they have hot friends.
On October 24 2009 08:45 Hypnosis wrote: Being friendzoned is not as bad as it seems. If you have alot of friends that are girls its only better for you because eventually you will date someone and then they get jealous and realize you are the shit and will want to be with you. Plus they have hot friends.
ROFL. hahahaha You got friend-zoned. The only way to get out of this zone is to tell her how you feel. Watch this Part 1:
Oh man, when i read the op it was like looking into a mirror. About 4 years ago i really liked this girl. I did all the right things. But, i got into the dreaded friend zone. Even worse, she liked my brother. Ok, even worse than that my bro didnt like her and she still liked her. So, after awhile of being down on myself what i did was said "screw it" and told her how i felt. Even then she didnt like me. So, i just said whatever and moved on, but always keeping her in the back of my mind. So i basically kept the relationship completely cut and dry. Sentences short, polite but not overly nice. Then i became semi involved with a girl. The girl i liked started getting jealous. Then guess what..... she started liking me. But, instead of melting like butter in a microwave i stayed the way i was (of cours i broke it off completely with the other girl). I told the girl i liked that im kinda interested. i think what helped was the semi ignoring. She missed the relationship we had before, and after experiencing what being with another guy while thinking of me was like, she ended up wanting a relationship after all. Im not saying this happens all the time, or even 50%. But, you have nothing to lose. And if you just keep doing things to take you're mind off her than the pain will pass. As a side note, i ended up not wanting her and am happily married to the perfect girl.
On October 24 2009 03:11 Sadist wrote: pretty much have to state your intentions immediately or you fall into this shitstorm you are in. Unless they have some secret crush on you first or something which isnt something thats good to bank on.
That youtube 3-video series was definitely awesome. Nice guys finish last? Yeah right, nice guys that know when to push and pull will finish somewhere better...
It's simple. You tell her how you felt and she'll might still slip away. You don't tell her how you felt, and she'll slip away for sure. If you like that girl, there's every right and even obligation to tell her that. Girl's are smarter than us men think they are - I'm pretty sure the girl picked up signs from you somewhere along the way, and she's acting in such ways now while being fully aware of how you feel towards her. Be a man (and do the right thing, lol) about it, tell her how you feel in a nice private place (sunset is the right time to do it) and don't even think about the "what happens after". Whatever happens after - you did the right thing for both yourself and the girl.
I think you simply put too much of an investment in this girl. Its unfortunate, but its an experience worthwhile that will eventually get you closer to a relationship. I think its that simple, I think it will good to deal with rejections in the future, there will be plenty of it in various forms.
I failed really hard at relationships in the past, I never cheated, but I always fucked up cause I could never decide on what I wanted out of it.
Dude, quit being selfish. She's obviously trusting you enough to ask a personal question. Why not give a little bit towards others, yeah? Don't be thinking, "Oh man, I feel so depressed...others should feel as bad as I do." That's some really bad karma, yo.
Look, I know you like her, but if she likes someone else and that feeling you got is really, really, real! Wouldn't you care more about how she feels? If she likes this guy, you go and do your best to make her feel happy. Contributing towards someone else happiness is a very useful talent toi have.
Be positive in your life. What has looking at life like a long-ass boring trail done for you?
Man, first thing you got to do is figure out who you are. If you think your life on this planet is to be some downtrodden poor fool, then no one in the whole world is going to be able to appease you. But just from your post, I don't think you are that type of person. If one person can make you feel enthusiastic, why is it that you can't just be enthusiastic by yourself? I think it's because you're not willing to let yourself be happy. All wounds heal, even the worse ones, bro. You just work towards that one day. Just know that soon, very soon, you won't feel like dirt.
Again, be positive!
Dude. She's not the last person you'll have feelings for. You help her out now, and karma will kick ass later on. One thing about cool girls? They hang out with other cool girls. Most of them do.
beat the other guy up. I dont think there is any other way out of friend zone except for violence. And if she's not the type to dig it, well at least you'll feel better. Much better.
As for the topic: "girls" - the standing advice is as always - be successful at something, whatever it is, even if it's a video game - if you're not an unhygienic mess: girls will be drawn to the confidence that stems from your success.
Sadly getting the attention of girls usually involves destroying most of what you considered made you better than the other guys who just wanted to fuck her. That is that you listen to her, have conversations that make sense and what not. You really shouldn't put girls on piedestals because it gets you nowhere. If you need proof just look at how many of those lyric poets actually f-ed their muzes. You'll probably hate yourself for a while after you start acting like a dick but it'll pass. Whether there's peace of mind down the road, where you might actually find a person around which you'll be able to do/say/think/express you desire, is not a given. Oh but if you do find her, ask her out before you get to know her since she'll think you like her body. ^^
Thanks for your answers so far. I am still torn how to act around her. At the moment, I would prefer not seeing her at all, which is almost impossible since we share so many classes. We are going to do an assignment together, too, and I really dread that soon-to-be day.
Concerning some of the questions in here: I am not the guy she was talking about, Spanish is one of the few classes we don't share. I had high hopes because she also wrote me a text when I was ill, saying that she missed me. The simple-hearted person that I am took it as sign of interest in me.
Fuck that, you still have shot at her. You're not in the friend zone yet until you accept being her emotional dumpster.
Tell her: "Hey, fuck that guy from spanish. Go out with me friday night, we'll do something fun".
Don't do it in a way like you're begging her, just make it casual. As in "why not". She likes you, but she probably didn't think you were interested in her. She didn't necessarily write you off as boyfriend potential yet. Now is your time to show her that you can be an interesting lad.
On October 24 2009 18:15 Quint wrote: Thanks for your answers so far. I am still torn how to act around her. At the moment, I would prefer not seeing her at all, which is almost impossible since we share so many classes. We are going to do an assignment together, too, and I really dread that soon-to-be day.
Concerning some of the questions in here: I am not the guy she was talking about, Spanish is one of the few classes we don't share. I had high hopes because she also wrote me a text when I was ill, saying that she missed me. The simple-hearted person that I am took it as sign of interest in me.
God, this sucks.
#1 reason for why you should tell her how you feel imo: Not because there's any realistic chance anythings gonna happen but because in my experience getting told by her that shes not interested is a big ass catalyst for getting over her. If you dont do it the pain will just drag on and on..
Sometimes women say shit like this to see if you're interested in them. Maybe she just told you that to see what your reaction would be.
This means, though, you have little time left assuming she successfully read you (you like her) and is now waiting to see how long it will take for you to go tell her how you feel about her.
I think the friend zone is a pretty retarded expression. If a girl is not interested in a relationship -> friend zone, so basically the friend zone means that a girl is not interested. WHY NOT JUST CALL IT THAT since there are plenty of situations where people are friends and transition into a relationship and being a friend to the chick has nothing to do with it. As if the chick would be totally into you if only she didn't know you!
It just sounds like a dumb term to console your ego. I have literally never heard anyone I know use this expression in real life before.
Just tell her and get it over with. When you look for that "exact timing window" for which you think is the best time to tell her, well it'll never happen because there is never a best time. Good luck when you do!
On October 25 2009 07:39 Frits wrote: I think the friend zone is a pretty retarded expression. If a girl is not interested in a relationship -> friend zone, so basically the friend zone means that a girl is not interested. WHY NOT JUST CALL IT THAT since there are plenty of situations where people are friends and transition into a relationship and being a friend to the chick has nothing to do with it. As if the chick would be totally into you if only she didn't know you!
It just sounds like a dumb term to console your ego. I have literally never heard anyone I know use this expression in real life before.
Friend zoned is the final stage though. It's beyond "not interested". It's like, thinks of you as her nine year old nephew she can vent to and rant about all of her childish worries without really caring that much. They also, somehow without realizing it, are the ones most likely to really lead you on or even spark new interest.
On October 25 2009 13:30 Romance_us wrote:Friend zoned is the final stage though. It's beyond "not interested". It's like, thinks of you as her nine year old nephew she can vent to and rant about all of her childish worries without really caring that much. They also, somehow without realizing it, are the ones most likely to really lead you on or even spark new interest.
Like someone said before, the only way to avoid this situation is to make your intentions clear early on. Slow-playing often makes a girl think that you're not romantically interested and is an utter waste of time if it doesn't work out.
You need to go all in - bring your SCVs, re-hotkey your m&m and rush into the sticky, creepy mess that is a relationship. Beware the sunkens of false hope, do not ignore them, focus them quickly and slowly wear down her defenses until you take her lair and her heart. gg
On October 26 2009 03:23 Equaoh wrote: You need to go all in - bring your SCVs, re-hotkey your m&m and rush into the sticky, creepy mess that is a relationship. Beware the sunkens of false hope, do not ignore them, focus them quickly and slowly wear down her defenses until you take her lair and her heart. gg
unfunniest sc related joke to date, well done, and there's some stiff competition
On October 24 2009 04:35 biomedical wrote: f) you dont have to "confess" to her but probably will if you're an emotional reject. if you do this then its likely that you'll set yourself back 6 months with her. instead just wait until you have a good night, a little tipsy, and shes laughing at something....THEN try it on. you gotta wait for the right moment man!!!!!!
Hey that sounds actually good. Get her drunk one night then go for it. Never tried it but it certainly seems to be the best idea in this thread so far.
On October 24 2009 04:35 biomedical wrote: f) you dont have to "confess" to her but probably will if you're an emotional reject. if you do this then its likely that you'll set yourself back 6 months with her. instead just wait until you have a good night, a little tipsy, and shes laughing at something....THEN try it on. you gotta wait for the right moment man!!!!!!
Hey that sounds actually good. Get her drunk one night then go for it. Never tried it but it certainly seems to be the best idea in this thread so far.
yeah thanks lol.....
girls arent controlled purely by "is or isnt" physical attraction, like men often are. they will change their opinion about you if you are suddenly awesome, cool, funny, confident etc.
if an ugly fat chick suddenly becomes really confident ....its not gonna affect u as a guy
but if an ugly guy suddenly becomes really confident .... maybe a girl will think different about him
(oh , plz note she probably wont allow herself to get "drunk" around you, and also note that if she at any time thinks you are drunker/tipsyer than her then you fucked up and blew your chance)
I dunno if anyone mentioned this yet, but maybe she was just testing you to see if you would get jealous or to instill a sense of urgency for you to make a move. Maybe she liked you at first but you were too puss to make a move so she just friended you instead.
On October 29 2009 06:44 CharlieMurphy wrote: I dunno if anyone mentioned this yet, but maybe she was just testing you to see if you would get jealous or to instill a sense of urgency for you to make a move. Maybe she liked you at first but you were too puss to make a move so she just friended you instead.
thread is 6 pages long what do u think they were fuckin talkin about -.-
@OP Have you considered the possibility that she does like you but is trying to instigate you into making a move by "making you jealous". Its a stupid ridiculous game that for some reason makes sense to girls but more often than not turns the guy away like it did to you.
Still you should give it a shot. Ask her if she wants to go see a movie with you. Worst that can happen is she says no and you keep riding the train in different cars. So the worst case scenario is that you are just as well off as you are now. Best case scenario is that she really does like you and says yes and you are a happy man.
Man, that's gotta suck... I've never been in that particular situation, so I doubt I could help you. However, all she said was that she liked someone else. That does'nt necessarily mean she disliked you.
So, heck, I don't know, but you could have tried to throw caution to the wind if you dared to risk it. (No offence) You could have made a beautiful romantic speech right there, or just kissed her. (Don't take my word for it though)
Then again, this seems really obvious when you read it, but I understand how terrifying it would feel to be in that situation, and I would probably not have made it better myself.
Now, I don't know what happened between you later, but if you really lost her, then you got to get your mind on someone or at least something different.
EPT
on the bright side you still have time to woo her. 
and challenge your depression everyway you can alright? easier said than done but worth the time to type it.
![[image loading]](http://www.majhost.com/gallery/Rail/STURF/friendzone.png)
![[image loading]](http://blog.fmoreno.com.mx/data/phoo/2007_12_01/alison+angel.jpg)
