My quest to learn snowboarding started recently. I used to live in Singapore, and on a tropical island where it's ~30 degrees Celsius 24/7, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, I only had the opportunity to go once a year, when my family went on vacation in December. But I made good use of each time I got to snowboard, and put in a lot of effort. My mom would encourage me to take a break and switch to skis, so I could give my bruised body a rest, but I was determined to get better~!
Last February, I went on a trip with a group of friends. During one of the runs, my board caught an edge and I landed badly. As soon as I landed, I knew that something was wrong. My friend started to ski past me. I quickly called out her name.
"I think I broke my arm," I told her urgently.
"You think you broke your arm, or you think you could have broken your arm?" She asked. This was my first major injury, and I was a little alarmed at the situation, so I remember being exasperated at her question as I lay in the snow. What difference did it make?? Either way I had reason to believe I was injured.
"I broke it, I broke it," I told her, so that she'd take action.
"Oh... crap," she said. The way you'd say "Oh, crap" when you accidentally get a paper cut, or knock over a drink at the table. "Well, what should I do?"
"Go call the ski patrol...Tell the others..." I was the one lying in the snow with my arm twisted at an awkward angle, and I was instructing her what to do. She skied off. After quite a wait--during which I heard people on the chair lift above me say "OMG is that snowboarder dead??" (to which I replied by giving a thumbs up sign)--the ski patrol people arrived. They put me in a sled, brought me to the emergency room. Turns out I dislocated my elbow. They popped it back in. The joint ended up "freezing," so I underwent physical therapy for about a month to get full range of motion back. All quite painful; nothing unbearable. The bone doctor told me stiffness would last for about six months.
Fast-forward to present, one year later. I decided that despite dislocating my elbow I still love snowboarding, and now that I've relocated to a country with colder climate, I have the opportunity to go snowboarding often. I felt determined to get from mediocre to epic status, and thus with much excitement I spent some of my savings on my very own snowboard!
So yesterday, I go on a day trip with a friend. It didn't occur to me that my accident would affect me at all, but when I got back on a snowboard, I found myself frightened, overly cautious, lacking confidence... I was snowboarding like a beginner again--constantly braking, clumsy and losing control of my board. So much of it can be mental I guess. I got increasingly frustrated. I felt like all my effort to improve at snowboarding had disappeared. I was back to square one, except maybe it was square negative one, as this time I was completely terrified of anything more than a one degree incline (I exaggerate, but still...). I was so scared to gain speed and to fall, but ironically this very fear made me question myself and led to more hard falls.. I was boarding with my debit card and phone in one pocket, and my Zune in the other (which was very unwise but I've done it before so I didn't think much of it at the time). Ended up somehow snapping my debit card in two and smashing the screen of my Zune. Only thing that remained unscathed was my crappy but hardy phone. Hah. Angry and disappointed at myself, I pushed myself to not be so cautious, to go faster and have more confidence...and ended up falling and slamming the same arm that was injured this time last year. My elbow joint immediately felt incredibly sore and stiff, but luckily that was the last run of the day so we boarded the bus and went home. My friend is staying with me for the whole weekend so I didn't want to be a downer, and furthermore I thought the joint was just sore from the impact, so I told her it was nothing. This weekend, we went out and did our planned activities, but I noticed my elbow hurting more and more. Now she is passed out on the air mattress, but I am worried. The joint is stiffening and I'm losing range of motion (again). I hope my elbow is just sore, but I'm worried it's more than that as it's hurting and feeling pretty off. She leaves tomorrow morning, so I'll try to get it checked ASAP. Sigh, I'm such a fail.