EPTI'm there since 7:00 AM and worked at 11000000000% capacity to great outcomes. Warehouse work. Morning, I've treated it like gym & speed & physical action workouts. I've unpacked 5 palettes in 1 hour, 40 minutes, proven with photo. Alone. That is fucking unheard of. At the very least, it's an extremely fucking good and solid time. I could do it even faster, despite going full on prioritize & execute with virtually no pauses to think mid-work - I can see how I could design clearer standardizing, micro-logistics, sequence, order and navigation to my motions and way of doing it.
So much in fact, I could bring similar load of work to under an hour with about a month, or month and a half, of testing a few times per week, at times where I'm tasked with unpacking palettes for the store on my own. I've done much of that fairly well but my focus was to not over-plan or over-design by way of doing it, just continuously fuckin' do, since that tends to be my weakness sometimes and it doesn't work.
I've also had the way, technique and strength to safely pull 2 carriages loaded with heavy stuff - one for drinks, second with chemistry stuff - simultaneously, and with posture that minimized potentially large stress on my knees and other joints to a pretty nice degree. That saved some good 15-20 minutes. That is fucking unheard of. NOBODY did that. NOBODY. NO-FUCKING-BODY DID THAT. NOBODY. I didn't fucking see or hear or know of any-fucking-body who did that.
And I'm not a big or large muscular guy at all, I'm just in a fairly decent, strong shape out of working out very often (mostly cardio) and I figured out the fucking way to do that and I had the kind of mental wiring to be excited and get all electric as fuck about a self-initiated challenge of this kind. It's the same as with running with the carriage on timer, which I've done a lot because I saw it as an opportunity to exercise some mental toughness, keep momentum of being hard, and of resistance training, on the physical side.
Then, cash stand work and clients. Putting contents on the market's shelfs, when there are no clients. There were clients most of the time morning hours and all the time later. I've still managed to unpack 10 boxes of content and put that on the shelf because I was counting opportunity to do that in seconds - and I was planning for a given customer to wait these 30 seconds, so I could do the work. Not rushing, no erratic huff and puff and nervous trying to do it fast, just smooth, standard, precise motions, watching carefully what I'm doing, what makes sense, what to put, what to not waste time on.
If about 10 or 15 customers wait these 20-30 seconds but hear a fully respectful, well-mannered apology in a soft and well-spoken tone, and they're well-served and quick, that's works out fine. It's that or I don't unpack the contents and that's still being respectful to clients, since the manager lady has a different philosophy and doesn't prioritize respecting the clients.
I've also sold 5 fucking sets of day's "super product", or what we're tasked with to recommend to the clients at cash stands. That's because
1) I've recommended to virtually every single client - and already, I didn't fucking see anybody else do it except for one other guy (he seemed good at it and I picked up how he was super smiley and positive about it and mimicked to some degree),
2) I've tried to make subtle adjustments and also adaptations based individually on the client at hand, so as to subtly make it more likely that they see the product as a big opportunity that's perhaps worth not to pass by - and it felt good, it was kind of "landing" a lot of the time, even if the client ultimately didn't buy - they were sometimes getting pretty fucking close and it was close. And again, I've sold 5 fucking sets. That's a good score. I didn't fucking see anybody else do that and I'm speaking about the outcome and real result part, not the dedication or caring or working hard, subjective parts.
Then, there's reminding clients to put the masks on and not let in clients without the masks. Again, I fucking did that. Awesome. Opportunity to exercise my voice, my calibration whenever I need to be slightly louder than usual, to practice my mannerisms and so forth. I yelled, though I did my best to always do it smoothly and positively, and to bring it to as respectful and curteous manner as possible. I stood there, cash stand that's nearest to the entrance, and also saw that as an opportunity to exercise and put my minimap awareness skills to use. And I did fucking put my minimap awareness skills to use and I've noted 2 possibly (and confirmed as missed by my own checks) missed clients.
Other than that, no unmasked fucker was let in, I did my fucking job and I did it well, as well as I could but not just that, it was kind of "landing" and people were applying a rule that I was obliged to make them apply. I neutralized some conflict scenarios and turned them to positive atmosphere, which I saw as necessary because there are always some clients who refuse to budge or keep bullshitt'ing that they can't wear masks etc.
There was also interrupting my 15 minutes break time in the middle of it for something that turned out to be super unnecessary and minor but okay. It would have thrown me off balance in the past, make me lose my rhytm a bit, but by now, I was ready to work and pace myself in ways that would leave me fine and not critically tired even with no break.
Surely, there must have been some errors and things I could have done better, as there always are no matter what but at the risk of sounding full of myself, or lacking in humility, it was a fucking stellar performance at work, I did virtually every job I was assigned both faster, and better, and often even with better quality, than what was said or expected or even thought possible in some cases.
And it didn't just fucking happen. I worked, I worked and I fucking worked, and I tested, and I learned, and I listened, and I adjusted, and I kept my ego in check, and I kept my ego in check some more and then some more, and kept being humble and kept working super hard. If it's my job, if it's work, I respect it, and I have huge respect for my work, even if it's a basic fucking entry level job and even if I may be over-qualified for it. Also, I saw it as an awesome and amazing opportunity to test my methods and habits of learning.
So I did that entire day of work, since 7:00 AM but I wasn't that tired. I was prepared. I could more. I was more. Not that I was happy to do that if it wasn't necessary but if it was, and the team needed that and I could contribute, I'm ready. Even if it's entire day, I'm fuckin' ready. I'm ready af. Awesome challenge, awesome opportunity. I will further test myself and elevate the principles I'm working on even more. Bring it. There is nothing to bitch about in my world.
I'm more ready than you can imagine. And the work will be done and the team will not have stuff that's behind and left to do that could potentially complicate or block matters later, which would require more work to resolve then etc. Synergy. Win-win. I get stronger, team gets work done, co-worker manager lady gets credit for solving the problem, overall manager lady gets credit because the store's running well after she came to fix things. Win-fucking-win.
However, it was past my work time and it was still not confirmed. I was waiting for an update from the co-worker manager lady or the overall manager lady, who came shortly beforehand. I asked another co-worker manager lady near me after a few minutes, she told me to ring. I rang once. No response. Kept serving clients at cash stand and recommending our "super product". After few more minutes, I rang again. No response, no one's coming, no intel, nothing. It's 12 minutes after my work shift concluded. I assumed, okay, it's on. I'm staying for the day. And I will stay and I will deliver and we will all win on that one.
I asked the co-worker manager lady, she nodded at me and said, yeah, go and check. I wanted to just confirm if that is the case, since that was all that was missing. Maybe they got involved in something super important and forgot, or simply didn't hear the cash stand bell, or maybe the overall manager lady went on a cig break before getting after it. Either way, no big deal.
This is the part where it stops being normal or acceptable.
I walked around the store, through the magazine area and knocked on the office door. I open the door and the overall manager lady looks at me as if she just saw a pile of shit jump out of the toilet and magically float through the air all the way to the location of her office.
At this point, I'm not in the mood to give a fuck because frankly, I see that as potentially somewhat disrespectful but potentially not at all. I don't have any intel right now. Maybe something happened. Not a big deal for now, to be sure.
People knock and walk in the office all the time with all kinds of minor things because this is an office in a warehouse that's part of a high-rotation market and that's how it is. The overall manager lady, who lately came to fix things, is a worker as well and is supposed to spend 90% of her time working on the store, too. Which she does, and she does that very well, to her credit.
I'm 12 minutes past my shift time already. If someone would be late, even late for the 15 minutes before the actual clock time that you're supposed to show up at, it's a big deal. Do that a few times, you're in a lot of trouble or even fired. Nobody did that, pretty much. Yet, somehow, employee is already past his shift and no one gives a fuck. Too trivial to notice. Okay, things happen. No big deal, no malice or disrespect there. But it's a relatively small market, about 3-4 people work at a time. Employee asked co-worker manager lady (the other one), rang the bell. Rang second time. On the instructions of the co-worker manager lady, he went to the office to check it.
I need a quick update, which can take 10 seconds, on what's the situation. Do I need to stay 2 more hours or maybe entire day, even though I'm there since 7:00am? No problem but it's a pretty important piece of intel. It should have been passed to me anyway because you don't make your employees waste time and walk out late for no reason whatsoever, as that's just disrespectful af.
As if my time was a pile of shit and didn't matter and wasn't in need of being respected. It's not a big deal to commit 30 seconds of your time to at least send someone to quickly pass the intel in the store where it takes 15 seconds to walk by and where about 2-4 employees work at any given time, and usually fucking 2 or 3.
Okay but at this point it's just that. No big deal at all. If it was just that, I'd just roll my eyes and ask, "I understand something very important must have taken place and it's no big deal but if I may ask, could you please give me information right away next time so I can know if I need to stay or go? I understand if you're too busy with something critical so I'm only saying, if you can, that'd be really helpful; and just to be sure, I don't have any pretenses about today, thanks", nod without looking pushy about it at all, while making sure that I do say it all very positively but firmly, and walk out.
And even if it fucking repeated from time to time, okay, well, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Fine. I have a job, I'm working, I can progress forwards with some amount of stability this provides. I can stomach some amount of nonsense or even intense nonsense on some occasions. Fine. No factor.
I open the door, and as said, the overall manager lady is immediately very off-putting and extremely disregarding and condescending. At this point, I was purely informational and just asked a quick question to confirm whether my shift was over - as it was already 12 minutes past time - or whether I needed to stay, since I didn't get the update the co-worker manager lady said that she'd pass to me. I said "okay", normal face on, fully neutral, and walked out but something in me, everything in me, in fact, came to a boil.
I was calm but determined. There was something terribly wrong there. As I dressed to walk out of workplace, my conviction only steeled itself. The conviction and the conclusion I had were that this is a NO. This is a fucking NO. This is a fucking NO TIMES 100000000000. This is a fucking shame and even beyond that. This is a NO times billion. There is no way I'm going to allow someone to treat me like that. I don't give a fuck if I'm fired. Fuck you. You don't sell or buy your honor. You have your dignity and you stand by it to defend it when someone thinks they can smear all over it without consequence or you don't. I'm not crazy but I have my limits and you bet I fucking do.
Like what, you don't have fucking 30 seconds to even inform me that the intel was wrong and my shift is indeed over? When I come, instead of apologizing that I was 12 minutes longer for no reason, or at least being neutral and normal, you treat me rudely, condescendingly, with extreme disregard, as if I was the one who should apologize for even existing after showing up 12 minutes after work time to ask whether I need to stay extra hours or the shift's over? Then you tell me, as if I was some beggar, and you said "okay have your 50 cents and fuck off", with disdain? To be treated like that, for virtually any reason, under virtually any circumstance, is a fucking shame.
There was no cell in me that was willing to let that one go. I witnessed behavior that has upset my sense of honor and dignity, and there was only one course of action left - address it. You don't behave like that towards anyone.
I immediately went back to the office and stated the matter as succinctly and clearly and strongly as I could, meaning, I will not be treated like that. This was extremely disrespectful and you can, for one, afford 30 seconds of your time to pass me an update on whether I'm staying extra hours or my shift's over.
This is when that overall manager lady went terminator mode, the ego stuff, as she interrupted me very sharply and started inserting some "ok, you got what you wanted (very rude tone, again, as if a beggar came to ask for fucking 10 cents), and it's not a problem, just go and note that and go home (very rude tone, as if to say fuck off)".
At this point, things were boiling inside of me, though I maintained full composure, it was obvious I was furious at what was transpiring before my eyes. I interrupted her back and re-stated that I will not be treated that way, that she can afford 30 seconds so that someone can not waste minutes or hours after work, something along those lines.
The conversation was short but she kept being extremely sharp and kept repeating "YOU WILL NOT SPEAK WHEN I SPEAK", terminator mode, full on ego trip. As if to assert her position and make me scared or back down.
That only made me more infuriated, determined and baffled at how idiotically stupid, blinded and disregarding someone can be. I was furious but I felt calm, I was completely and utterly certain about my position. She fucking insulted my dignity, at a very serious level, and it was not acceptable. It was not something that would fly or that I would let fly. She thought she could blatantly try to assert that someone can be treated like shit, so she needs to be learn otherwise. Plain and simple. There was nothing to twist about it.
I didn't say anything and just looked at her, motionless but with an obvious fury in my eyes. Like the one when you see someone betraying you or betraying values, and then being blatant and shameless about it.
Satisfied because they're on an ego trip and think you can't do anything about it, even mad at you that you dared to try and defend your basic rights. When they tried to trash them by behaving like some fucking animal that needed to feel very important for a while, at your expense.
Walked out of there, said "bye" in a calm voice but one that expresses disappointment and bafflement, as if to say "what the fuck", in a manner similar to when you witness someone doing something incomprehensibly pathetic and stupid, something that betrays not only basic values but also common sense and even their own interest.
I walked out determined and focused but I had a dilemma to address. The choice was instant because there was no choice to be made there. You don't fucking negotiate your dignity. If I'm going to be fired because of it, so be it.
And so I was. Fired, that is.
Morning, today.
Interestingly, not immediately and not because of that situation alone. She stated that it's because of the messages I wrote to her afterwards. In what I wrote right after, I was straightforward and to the point, and delineated her extreme disregard point by point. Though not disrespectful, I was very assertive about how she had no right to treat anybody that way for whatever reason.
The ultimate point made was: "If your talk is so important that you can't afford 30 seconds to pass intel or have some basic regard for that, so that your employees don't waste their own time and work past shift for no reason because they are so unimportant, then why do you need employees? If your employees and their time are so trivial, let your important conversation unpack and carry the palettes and do the work."
After she fired me, I responded respectfully that I still appreciate what I've learned from her and that, apart from being unable to respect employee's basic rights, she can do a lot. Which is true, she's quite competent and good at the job and I did my best to observe her work and learn how she does things. I've also picked up quite a few things in terms of how to manage, from her, as I don't think she's a bad manager.
I also told her that I don't have any intense antipathies towards her or the workplace, that I wish her, and the store, big success.
Except I was sincere in that.
I don't feel any hate for her or the workplace or anyone there and I do wish them well. I've previously noted what she said in her first meeting, caught virtually everything of it in detail (mostly mentally), and then wrote it down in a google doc. Then shared that with the team on the messanger group and the reaction was so overwhelmingly positive, the wow emotes and thumbs up and all.
I did the same for workflow rules to better organize work, though I've added quite a few things of my own - careful to not itch the new overall manager lady, though. I did itch her, though. Not in the right way, I guess. Not from the start, as she seemed to be very positive towards me at the start, since I was getting a lot of shit done.
I also plan to make, for practice, a synthesis of what would be a set of simple organizing principles that would make the most impact in terms of making the work in this place as simple and as easy as possible, mostly concerning the sequencing, marking and micro-logistics and the like. Something that could be used right away so it'd end up being used and would contribute value.
Ultimately, it's my fault anyway. It's my actions and choices. I needed to play the game a bit more. I could have said the same exact things I did say but perhaps, the next day. I needed to not let that go and confront that with brutal firmness but also with calm, with right timing. So it would land the right way.
Then, I wouldn't have fired myself out of my fucking job. At least, chances would be better that I would not let her ever repeat something so pathetic ever again towards me or anyone else, whilst keeping the job. As always, there are a myriad things I could have done or proceeded with better, which would produce a better outcome.
That said, none of them would involve me abandoning my dignity and defending it. I wouldn't have gone about it much differently if it was the second time around, in general. I would shift my timing, mostly. I would still address it right away but say less, watch more. Give myself more a bit more time so I'd see better options of how to create better time, conditions, place, arguments and ways to shut down possibility of her behaving like that towards someone again.
As a side note to this whole story, I don't like disobeying. I don't do that shit, almost never. It's pointless. There are tasks to be completed and shit that needs to be on time, there's no reason to complicate matters. I have no issue whatsoever with executing orders or commands as part of work because that's team, that's work, shit needs to get done and tasks need to be coordinated.
Some people have a lot more experience in certain domains, so they issue orders because they know what they're doing. Sometimes they're wrong, that's okay. Often, it involves some degree of egotism and incompetence, that's okay. Somebody has experience and skill, and navigates work in some place, great. They issue a command, I do it as if it was my own, as best as I can, fucking asap. I also want to help others so they succeed their own tasks, too. So the team can win and then everyone wins, including me.
I don't like to make a stand. I don't think it's cool, in general. But when it's necessary, it's necessary and then I do make a fucking stand. There is no choice when that occurs. When somebody clearly crosses boundaries, far, and abuses their position to get away with a behavior that's extremely disregarding, stupid, pointless or otherwise rude and humiliating, they don't in my book. They just order some rightful consequences for themselves, it's only that delivery tends to lag a bit but it tends to find its way to them. There is no way I'm allowing somebody to be like that towards me or others. Fuck that.
I'm not saying I'll do or I need to do anything to that overall manager lady. I don't give a fuck. I stayed true to myself and to my values. I expressed it as such. She felt super important for a few moments, great, good ego trip, now she can fuck off, as far as that incident goes. To me, it's something that builds me up, in terms of experience because she wanted to be rude and disregarding and humiliating to me, and it didn't work at all. Didn't get away with that shit with me.
That's my attitude and yes, I've said I don't have any hate or antipathies towards her - in terms of emotional baggage or regurgitating some painful memories etc. I wish her well, overall. That's just the attitude I set after something like this. She's marked as someone who behaved like that towards others, she can fuck off, in regards to me. I won't be saying any negative stuff about her behind her back or try to even be non-supportive towards her achieving or continuing success. That's not my nature.
The attitude is about marking her. So I know that she behaved like that because she's that kind of a person, who can behave like that. Instead of hating or resenting or being frustrated at, or having some antipathies, I just don't have deeper levels of respect for people like that and I don't associate with them. I will tend to not go out of my way to help such a person because when they needed to check their ego and not be a massive fucking jerk, they failed that and were a massive fucking jerk and fired me out of my fucking job for no real reason, really, other than an ego trip.
Which is still my fault, that's one of the primary elements one needs to navigate in virtually any work environment, and I failed to do that well enough. What I mean, is just that a person like this is not eligible for the kind of respect that a person who would never do that, is.
So that's it, the story of me being fired out of my fucking job.
As for the current situation, the aspect of being fired and looking for a new job, AWESOME. Goooooood. Fuck yeah. A W E S O M E. That's an opportunity to exercise my skills of looking for a new job, self-organization, prioritizing and capitalizing on good chances. Last time I did that, was about 7-8 months ago.
I'm going to do much better and be much more resourceful this time around. And I'm going to create sick CV's, sick intro contributions, sick tactics for interviews, totally awesome strategy of going about it overall and step by step, action by action, I'll find an awesome job. Or even if it's worse than the current one, in time, I will find or create or assemble the kind of job that is fucking awesome for the time being. And then I will, over time, progress to a kind of job that is awesome on all levels and is much more long term.
And potentially, there are going to be problems, and it's going to be rough at times, and there are going to be a lot struggles and silly issues and annoyances and all that, just like in a starcraft game. And I'm going to keep outplaying the shit out of all of that to the best of my ability. Fuck yeah.
I'm also excited because back then, I had the problem of being periodically extremely depressed and falling into the "everything is pointless, what's the fucking point" mode whenever I was beginning to succeed - because I had a huge amount of pain unresolved and even unrecognized, or even acknowledged, to a large degree. The one surrounding complete lack of any real relationships.
While there's still a lack of any real relationships, it is on a solution trajectory now, I'm still far but significantly closer than before and the pain part and periodic lapses into complete depression, these are mostly resolved. Also, my behavioral skills and ability to rightly calibrate my mannerisms, tone of voice, behave in ways more congruent to what I find suits me, etc., I've improved significantly on those.
I'm also going to explore some new environment and new relationships, new people, new standards, new atmosphere, and that is also fucking awesome. Even more so, given that I now have this experience that I didn't have beforehand. I've never worked at a warehouse/market kind of a job before. I've basically worked as a web developer for 2 years and then I've worked the job I was fired from today.
I was there for 6+ months. It involved a ton of social interaction and it made me both tougher, and more used to interacting with people a lot on a daily basis. I also learned a lot in terms of how people are, in general, I mean that experience-wise. You can notice a lot of interesting things when you work with people in this kind of a job.
Anyway, that's what I have to share today. Which happens to be quite a bit, since as I mentioned in the title, I fired myself out of my fucking job.
