EPTIf she leaves her personal secrets out in the open, and you get to read it, she has no logical reason to be upset or anything.
[Girl Blog] I fucked up. - Page 2
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Pangpootata
1838 Posts
If she leaves her personal secrets out in the open, and you get to read it, she has no logical reason to be upset or anything. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States43472 Posts
On July 22 2015 21:23 Pangpootata wrote: If you somehow logged onto her laptop, or got her tumblr through unscrupulous means, then that would be a breach of trust. However, since you deduced it through use of intellect, it's fair game. If she leaves her personal secrets out in the open, and you get to read it, she has no logical reason to be upset or anything. You clearly don't understand how a relationship- or a breach in trust- works. It would be twice as bad if he hacked her computer to get on, but he didn't do nothing wrong by going back on an agreement he made with her not to breach her private thoughts- whether they're posted online or in a diary under her bed. | ||
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Superouman
France2195 Posts
On July 22 2015 16:10 FlaShFTW wrote: I want to change. I hate being this curious about everything, prying my way into things I shouldn't be prying into. No, dont change that. Being curious is very important and is the first step to get critical thinking. If no one was curious, we would be stuck in caves forever. Some people may hate you because you discovered things they didn't want you to. They are wrong to behave like that. So in your story, you were right to do what you did, she was wrong for what she did. Go out, find people truely worthy getting your respect. | ||
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Cambium
United States16368 Posts
On July 22 2015 19:18 FiWiFaKi wrote: You wouldn't care at all if your girlfriend just searched your username in the sidebar, and started reading every single post you've posted on TL? You know, all the politics debate, saying stupid shit like "I'm homo for lomo" or something when Hwaseung Oz was doing really well in SPL, and just like little details they you'd prefer people not knowing, even though you are not hiding them. It's a nice feeling believing you can share your unfiltered opinions about things without it having impacts on your life. Just like how in theory there should be nothing wrong with posting your email or address on the internet, but instead, we like to have so anonymity on the internet, so we don't have to face consequences for what we do here. Just like you'd prefer if your boss didn't through your TL posts. I'm actually socked how many people here support the OP in having done nothing wrong. Different values and beliefs I suppose. All my past GFs read all of my posts on TL, including all the posts when I was younger and complained about them. Don't care. | ||
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JacobShock
Denmark2485 Posts
I have personally done things much worse than that to ex lovers, I also regret it, sincerely. All you can do is try to be a better person than you were yesterday. There are people out there who knows no such thing as regret, at least you are not one of them. | ||
HornyHerring
Papua New Guinea1054 Posts
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QuanticHawk
United States32024 Posts
that aside it's on a public place on the internet. don't have a public diary if you don't want people to read it. would you agree to a similar rule about old face book posts? No, because that would be insane. it's shit that is readily accessible to anyone on the internet. that rule should have been a giant red flag | ||
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y0su
Finland7871 Posts
On July 22 2015 22:04 QuanticHawk wrote: the only thing you fucked up on was telling her you'd play that stupid game in the first place. as absolutely stupid as her request was it was big time dick of you to agree to it and then do it anyway. that aside it's on a public place on the internet. don't have a public diary if you don't want people to read it. would you agree to a similar rule about old face book posts? No, because that would be insane. it's shit that is readily accessible to anyone on the internet. that rule should have been a giant red flag good points. I think the issue here might have been more your insecurity or lack of trust about how she told you she felt about you... | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32024 Posts
while I definitely get what you are saying, I think boiling it down to doing it because of insecurity really diminishes how weird her request was. if she wants a private safe space to vent to just her friends only a total weirdo would begrudge her for that, and there are plenty of ways to do that. wanting a venting space that anyone can access but her SO is really really weird | ||
BigFan
TLADT24920 Posts
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Carnivorous Sheep
Baa?21242 Posts
On July 22 2015 19:18 FiWiFaKi wrote: You wouldn't care at all if your girlfriend just searched your username in the sidebar, and started reading every single post you've posted on TL? I'd be upset if she didn't actually. | ||
c3rberUs
Japan11285 Posts
I love this, this is such a classic TL girl blog - some totally absurd and trivial issue that still some how sparks irrational debate. Haha, love this. I don't know if the right thing was to tell her or to shut your mouth. | ||
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FlaShFTW
United States9925 Posts
On July 22 2015 20:23 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: Yeah you fucked up, but it's very telling that you recognize what you did (and appropriately feel like shit), and I think you and her will end up stronger as a result. There are far worse ways to betray a significant other's trust (e.g., cheating on them), and I think you and her will be just fine after you guys get over this  I understand your mindset, although some other commenters apparently don't understand the difference between "The right/ freedom to look it up on the internet" and "Abiding by a special request that someone you care about asked of you". Obviously, you didn't do anything illegal, but this is a still a personal and moral issue because you also broke a commitment to someone you care about not to butt in on an outlet for personal thoughts, which can cause friction in your relationship. It'll be okay though Just don't pull this shit again, in any other forms of snooping where you don't belong  thank you for making the best response in this thread. it means a lot. im at work and i feel like im going to crumble at any second right now. i feel so weak lol. | ||
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riotjune
United States3391 Posts
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oBlade
Korea (South)5079 Posts
What you should be trying to do is communicate something like this (which should also be the truth): that you didn't go to her blog for the purpose of judging her, that you never had a judgmental attitude with her, that you were curious about who she is, and that you also feel a little bit shut out because you want her to be comfortable being her true self with you. That you want to know her by tearing down all the onion layers between you. Your intention was just to know who she is, that should mean something, don't let her have any impression that you were trying to be a dick. Be honest, tell her you loved what you saw on it, tell her the thing about cute fingers typing. And better yet, show her this blog as an act of solidarity. The thing is public or not, there's things that people get embarrassed about. Including hair or moles at weird parts of their body. But it's not ultimately realistic to tell your partner never to look at that mole. Especially a public blog, I mean come on, she would have known you'd eventually see it. Embarrassment is a symptom of intimacy. It shouldn't be hurtful. If you've ever been embarrassed and someone sincerely reassured you, the feeling is amazing. So maybe try that. You need to do something, at least, because not communicating is still miscommunicating. You know that quote, something about on the internet, everyone knows your deepest secrets, but doesn't know your name, and in real life people know your name but nothing really about you, I think that applies here. You're a real person though, let her know not to be afraid of being open with you. | ||
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On July 22 2015 22:27 QuanticHawk wrote: Even most secure person in the world is going to hear alarm bells going off when someone says 'you're not allowed to look at my public tumblr even though I interact with random internet weirdos all the time' while I definitely get what you are saying, I think boiling it down to doing it because of insecurity really diminishes how weird her request was. if she wants a private safe space to vent to just her friends only a total weirdo would begrudge her for that, and there are plenty of ways to do that. wanting a venting space that anyone can access but her SO is really really weird I disagree with multiple things you said. The first one is the use of SO. I find that expression so fucking absurd and retarded it makes me angry. Significant other. What the fuck, this bottle opener I have in front of me is significant and I have others. "SO". Fuck that. Fuck. Sorry Now forgive me QH I spend a lot less time on these girl blogs and dating boards than you seem to, but allow me to express my unpolished opinion. I can totally see why people would want to have this weird public thing that'd be also private from the people you know in real life, even your significant other. OP wrote about how she wrote him as "her prince" which is tacky as fuck and if I was a softy and had cared to write those fluffy stories about the cutesie things I and my gf did, I certainly wouldn't want people to see. It's kind of like how I enjoy this weird Kpop sometimes and I can tell you QH but I can't tell my skiing buddies, they wouldn't understand, and that's okay too. It's kind of like keeping a private journal that you don't want others to see, but you don't mind it if they're strangers. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States43472 Posts
On July 23 2015 00:25 FlaShFTW wrote: thank you for making the best response in this thread. it means a lot. im at work and i feel like im going to crumble at any second right now. i feel so weak lol. Any time <3 She'll feel like you betrayed her trust (because you did), but you guys will definitely get through it. This isn't relationship-ending drama, but it's a solid "You'll feel like shit for a while and she'll need time to recover" situation. And that naturally happens in relationships. Once that's over, you guys will have kickass makeup sex | ||
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ninazerg
United States7290 Posts
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FlaShFTW
United States9925 Posts
On July 23 2015 02:50 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: Any time <3 She'll feel like you betrayed her trust (because you did), but you guys will definitely get through it. This isn't relationship-ending drama, but it's a solid "You'll feel like shit for a while and she'll need time to recover" situation. And that naturally happens in relationships. Once that's over, you guys will have kickass makeup sex This is exactly what's going on right now. She basically had a semi-withdraw from me and told me she did lose some trust in me. She was also getting ready to open up to me more and when I was going to see her next weekend (I'm in SF for internship and she's still in SD), she was going to tell me some things. Now that I did what I did, she says it will take her time to open up again. And idk if the last part will happen haha. But again, seriously, thanks for the advice and words. Between TL and reddit, you've given me the best answers and words so far. I truly appreciate it. <3 | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States43472 Posts
On July 23 2015 04:06 FlaShFTW wrote: This is exactly what's going on right now. She basically had a semi-withdraw from me and told me she did lose some trust in me. She was also getting ready to open up to me more and when I was going to see her next weekend (I'm in SF for internship and she's still in SD), she was going to tell me some things. Now that I did what I did, she says it will take her time to open up again. And idk if the last part will happen haha. But again, seriously, thanks for the advice and words. Between TL and reddit, you've given me the best answers and words so far. I truly appreciate it. <3 Glad I could help | ||
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