It's easy being a DK fan, isn't it?
DK will be playing their first Starladder game soon, and it being a holiday I thought I would celebrate by making burgers. Only, this is no ordinary burger. Like I said, it's a holiday, and if I'm going to watch the kings of Dota decimate their group, well, I'm going to do it in style.
Here's how you can make your very own BurNing Burger as you prepare to watch Starladder this week/end.
L-R: 1 stalk celery, 1 onion, 4 tbsp mustard, 1 green bell pepper, 1 handful dried chillie flakes, 1kg minced beef, 1 red bell pepper, 6 tbsp teriyaki sauce, 4 tbsp oyster sauce, 2 green chillies (with seeds).
(Not pictured: salt and pepper to taste)
This is no ordinary burger. This is a BurNing Burger, and this patty will lay out a relentless onslaught on your tastebuds from first blood, the various kinds of chillie combining to destroy you in the laning stage. It will then beat you handily in the mid-to-late game with its complexity of flavour and unrelenting spiciness. Your mouth aflame, you will run to the fridge for water, but there will be no water on earth that will quench you of this fire. Where you are going, there is no mercy, no compassion, no grace. Only burning.
Method
Please note: I am not Lumi, so don't expect next level cookery lessons from me, please. I'm just going to tell you how I make this burger. Feel free to nitpick it in the comments.
1. Cut the celery, onion, peppers and green chillies up really fine. You can use a food processor if you like, but I'm lazy (food processors need to be cleaned afterward!) so I generally just use the knife.
2. Dump all the veggies you cut into a pan and temper it for 2 - 5 minutes on a low flame. Basically, cook the vegetables till they are as cooked as you like them. If you like them crispier, cook them less, and if you like them cooked, temper them more.
3. Mix your veggie mix in with the minced beef, adding in the sauces one by one as you do. Mix thoroughly, and last of all add the dried chillie flakes and salt and pepper to taste.
4. Marinate the patty mix in the fridge for a while. A few hours will give you more flavour, but if you are hungry and can't wait, 1 hour or so is OK as well.
5. Grill the patties / toast the burger buns.
6. Add some raw chillie flakes as garnish.
7. Consume the BurNing Burger while watching DK destroy someone.
Warning: if you are not used to eating spicy food, then this burger could really be difficult to eat. Substitute less hot peppers / chillies as appropriate for your palate, but please, don't be a sissy. After all, this is called the BurNing Burger for a reason.
BurNing sees your inferior choice of SL S9 sustenance and lolz at you.
"If you scrubs had any taste at all, you would make the BurNing Burger."
Results
First patty done!
Burger done, doused in chillie flakes and ready to burn!