EPTOn February 04 2014 12:04 MarlieChurphy wrote:
I feel like I have a few things to say about this, as I have used POF a bit and hooked up with 4 women off there.
#1 Almost everyone on there (at least in my area) is damaged goods. They are all on there for the reason that they can not find someone in real life or have burned their bridges etc. They have some issue that keeps them from normal healthy relationships; crazy drama, attention seeking, codependency, or some weird quirk etc. And if this isn't the case, it's for other non dating/relationship reasons. People don't take it seriously.
#2 The ratio of men to women is sick bad, so any woman ugly or not just gets 100s of msgs an hour/day and she can't possibly read them all. Most of these messages are canned mass sent msgs or vulgar shit that works on like 1% of women and ruins the experience for the rest of them which repels healthy women.
#3 The ones you sort of connect with refer back to #1 even if (and especially) if they are higher than a 6. PS- The rating number thing is only like 2nd or 3rd on the important things for women to be attracted.
etc.
That being said, the initial reason I signed up was because I had been hearing about POF for years and knew at least a couple of people who are still in decent relationships with semi cool/attractive girls. So I gave it a go. Like I said I hooked up with 4 chicks and I can briefly elaborate on the experiences. Besides the 4 I did date I had talked to dozens of others. Of those, at least a half a dozen were seriously interested in me but for whatever reason didn't want to meet me (including chicks who msg me first). Who knows if it was me, or just their insecurity, it doesn't matter either way. What is important is that it's sort of a waste of time, just chatting.
So the first girl I met, we chatted a bit, texted a bit, and one drunken night at the bar I called her. She sounded really excited to talk to me. I probably called her a few different times like that, until I finally told her to come over. She came, we banged. I felt shitty about it and told her I'm an asshole and ignored her from then on. She was kind of weird, not exactly what I expected and not my type.
2nd girl, she seemed really cool, not very attractive or anything but I'm willing to give that up for personality and intelligence. One of my friends actually worked with her and said she was cool too (I eventually found out she lived with a crazy dumb druggy bitch that I knew too). It was her bday and she was gonna be at a bar so I showed up, It was also around halloween so people had costumes too. Again she seemed a little different than the profile and pics and her friends were weird and I could tell the dudes were orbiters and her females were batty. She instantly was hanging on my arm and really into me, we went to some friends apt and she cuddled next to me on the floor. I dated her a few more times, we banged a couple of times but she seemed to have some issues and lots of drama around her and she wasn't nearly attractive enough (sort of overweight too) to begin to get into that relationship. She would try and contact me and I sorta shined her on a bit and she got the hint fast and I never heard from her again.
The 3rd girl was a semi cute girl who seemed pretty smart and preppy and totally not the type of girl I normally go after (figured I would try to ignore my normal attraction in hopes of finding something I might have been missing out on), although a little desperate. I setup a date to play pool etc even though she wasn't a drinker. She was super dorky and not nearly as cute as her pics. However, she was really into me and I didn't want to give up so fast. She ended up coming over and sleeping with me that night. Since I wanted to try and date this girl who isn't really my type I gave it a lot of effort. She was very co-dependent, could not make a single decision on her own, very insecure, tried a few jealously/sabotagey shittests on me, and had a real trauma history (she got me to verbally abuse her in a clothing store, I was shocked). I dated her a few months before finally breaking it off with her when she started to try and take it to the relationship level. I felt really bad, but I had to. I talked to her a few times via AIM or whatever and she always seems to be trying to achieve something. What I mean by that, is she had some agenda by slipping in details about herself or asking ones about me in order to make me jealous or try to get me attracted or something. She did have some previous bf baggage shit when we were dating so I assume it's the same shit she was doing with those guys. I had some of her belongings and I dropped them off on her car at night and left her a message to get them.
The last girl I dated was really kind of a strange one. She again wasn't really my type (cause that's what dating is right, trying to figure shit out) but she liked some of the same shit I did and seemed pretty cool. She invited me out to some bar with her friend and she liked me. She was way skinnier than her pics, like 90lbs and no curves. I was willing to ignore this fact though because she was pretty fun. I dated her a couple of weeks before she stood me up too many times and I just got over it. The weird part though is that she was the one setting up the dates or being late or flakey and genuinely not using it as a tactic to cold shoulder me. I got to thinking maybe she had a drug issue (which would explain the skinny etc) or maybe she was anorexic or something. She would try and call me a couple of times when she was in the area for a booty call or whatever but I ignored.
TL;DR The fantasy of online dating is ruined by actually meeting these people.
Or maybe I'm just and idiot and I'm doing it wrong. Or have some issue that attracts these problem women.
I feel like I have a few things to say about this, as I have used POF a bit and hooked up with 4 women off there.
#1 Almost everyone on there (at least in my area) is damaged goods. They are all on there for the reason that they can not find someone in real life or have burned their bridges etc. They have some issue that keeps them from normal healthy relationships; crazy drama, attention seeking, codependency, or some weird quirk etc. And if this isn't the case, it's for other non dating/relationship reasons. People don't take it seriously.
#2 The ratio of men to women is sick bad, so any woman ugly or not just gets 100s of msgs an hour/day and she can't possibly read them all. Most of these messages are canned mass sent msgs or vulgar shit that works on like 1% of women and ruins the experience for the rest of them which repels healthy women.
#3 The ones you sort of connect with refer back to #1 even if (and especially) if they are higher than a 6. PS- The rating number thing is only like 2nd or 3rd on the important things for women to be attracted.
etc.
That being said, the initial reason I signed up was because I had been hearing about POF for years and knew at least a couple of people who are still in decent relationships with semi cool/attractive girls. So I gave it a go. Like I said I hooked up with 4 chicks and I can briefly elaborate on the experiences. Besides the 4 I did date I had talked to dozens of others. Of those, at least a half a dozen were seriously interested in me but for whatever reason didn't want to meet me (including chicks who msg me first). Who knows if it was me, or just their insecurity, it doesn't matter either way. What is important is that it's sort of a waste of time, just chatting.
So the first girl I met, we chatted a bit, texted a bit, and one drunken night at the bar I called her. She sounded really excited to talk to me. I probably called her a few different times like that, until I finally told her to come over. She came, we banged. I felt shitty about it and told her I'm an asshole and ignored her from then on. She was kind of weird, not exactly what I expected and not my type.
2nd girl, she seemed really cool, not very attractive or anything but I'm willing to give that up for personality and intelligence. One of my friends actually worked with her and said she was cool too (I eventually found out she lived with a crazy dumb druggy bitch that I knew too). It was her bday and she was gonna be at a bar so I showed up, It was also around halloween so people had costumes too. Again she seemed a little different than the profile and pics and her friends were weird and I could tell the dudes were orbiters and her females were batty. She instantly was hanging on my arm and really into me, we went to some friends apt and she cuddled next to me on the floor. I dated her a few more times, we banged a couple of times but she seemed to have some issues and lots of drama around her and she wasn't nearly attractive enough (sort of overweight too) to begin to get into that relationship. She would try and contact me and I sorta shined her on a bit and she got the hint fast and I never heard from her again.
The 3rd girl was a semi cute girl who seemed pretty smart and preppy and totally not the type of girl I normally go after (figured I would try to ignore my normal attraction in hopes of finding something I might have been missing out on), although a little desperate. I setup a date to play pool etc even though she wasn't a drinker. She was super dorky and not nearly as cute as her pics. However, she was really into me and I didn't want to give up so fast. She ended up coming over and sleeping with me that night. Since I wanted to try and date this girl who isn't really my type I gave it a lot of effort. She was very co-dependent, could not make a single decision on her own, very insecure, tried a few jealously/sabotagey shittests on me, and had a real trauma history (she got me to verbally abuse her in a clothing store, I was shocked). I dated her a few months before finally breaking it off with her when she started to try and take it to the relationship level. I felt really bad, but I had to. I talked to her a few times via AIM or whatever and she always seems to be trying to achieve something. What I mean by that, is she had some agenda by slipping in details about herself or asking ones about me in order to make me jealous or try to get me attracted or something. She did have some previous bf baggage shit when we were dating so I assume it's the same shit she was doing with those guys. I had some of her belongings and I dropped them off on her car at night and left her a message to get them.
The last girl I dated was really kind of a strange one. She again wasn't really my type (cause that's what dating is right, trying to figure shit out) but she liked some of the same shit I did and seemed pretty cool. She invited me out to some bar with her friend and she liked me. She was way skinnier than her pics, like 90lbs and no curves. I was willing to ignore this fact though because she was pretty fun. I dated her a couple of weeks before she stood me up too many times and I just got over it. The weird part though is that she was the one setting up the dates or being late or flakey and genuinely not using it as a tactic to cold shoulder me. I got to thinking maybe she had a drug issue (which would explain the skinny etc) or maybe she was anorexic or something. She would try and call me a couple of times when she was in the area for a booty call or whatever but I ignored.
TL;DR The fantasy of online dating is ruined by actually meeting these people.
Or maybe I'm just and idiot and I'm doing it wrong. Or have some issue that attracts these problem women.
I just read this completely randomly and I have no idea who you are, so I don't want to sound like I'm judging you, because that would make no sense, but .. are you serious? Is this yout real life or you just watched some TV series and felt like writing about it? Do young Americans (judging from the use of pounds) really live like that? I probably shouldn't just open random blogs, that's too much for me to handle apparently.
