EPTA ROBBER bursts into a bank and approaches a female TELLER, gun drawn
ROBBER (screaming): Give me some money!
TELLER: So a withdrawal today? Just show me your bank card and we’ll get that done for you, sir.
ROBBER: What?! No, I’m robbing you. Hence the gun.
TELLER: Oh I’m sorry sir, I thought it was just an innocent protest against gun control.
ROBBER: Why would you assu- Whatever, just fill this bag with cash and nobody has to get hurt.
TELLER: How do I even know that gun works?
ROBBER: Are you serious? How ‘bout I just fucking shoot you?
TELLER: Could you please shoot Charlie instead? That guy’s the worst.
TELLER points to another nearby teller named CHARLIE.
CHARLIE: This guy’s robbing us at gunpoint and I’m the worst? I hate you so much.
ROBBER: Wow I see what you mean. This guy is just awful!
TELLER: I know right!
ROBBER and TELLER laugh together for a moment, and then everything goes quiet as they stare into each other’s eyes. The moment is brief, interrupted by ROBBER shooting CHARLIE in the shoulder.
TELLER: Thank God, that was getting kinda weird for a second.
The other patrons at the bank are now crying on the ground. TELLER starts to fill the bag with cash. After it’s full, ROBBER grabs it and starts to run off. Suddenly he stops and suavely walks back.
ROBBER: Hey...
He pauses to check TELLER’s name tag.
ROBBER: ... Andrea. How ‘bout you and me go grab some lunch?
TELLER: That sounds lovely!
TELLER grabs her things and walks out with ROBBER.
ROBBER: My treat, I’ve recently come into some money.
. Looks like you've got some creative juices in you!
