EPTHow to play with your GF who´s kinda bad? - Page 2
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moopie
12605 Posts
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
On April 02 2013 06:42 PrinceXizor wrote: Stop telling her what to do. Wait to see what she does then say stuff like "next time they come for us like that if you use nightmare on one we might be able to get away." then follow up with something you should do if it happens. 9/10 times when someone takes poorly you telling them what to do, its your fault for telling them in a shitty way. 1/10 times they are just a horrible person. but this is your gf, so i assume she's a good person. QFT. Giving advice is a hard thing to do. I've played a lot of 2v2s with my friends in sc2, and me being masters while they top out in gold or platinum, I've had to learn the art of giving advice without telling them what to do. Usually I don't say anything unless either they ask or there is a glaring problem with their play. Alternatively I'd say something like I'm going for x strategy, you should do y or z to compliment it. Another thing to keep in mind is that the person often knows what to do, but isn't able to act on it consistently. This situation is the worst spot to give advice in, because no one needs to be reminded of how s/he just failed. This is a situation where I'd say nothing unless I'm asked what to do. It sounds like this was the case when your girlfriend was running from slardar. She probably knew that sleeping him was the right thing to do, but wasn't acting on it because she was focused on getting away. I'd suggest just establishing with your girlfriend that you would be happy to help whenever she needs it and won't judge her for any lack of knowledge. Don't bash her for making mistakes or tell her what to do; stay positive and only answer her questions and it will be much easier to have fun. | ||
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docvoc
United States5491 Posts
On April 02 2013 07:40 obesechicken13 wrote: I wish I knew. I yell at my little brother when he plays LoL. I do the same thing too lol. | ||
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N.geNuity
United States5111 Posts
who cares who ganked her (or you, or you and her), when it's nature's prophet fault that he is in the jungle and still has no farm. | ||
FlaShFTW
United States9941 Posts
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avilo
United States4100 Posts
On April 02 2013 06:22 unkkz wrote: Just to start out: She´s not terrible by any means, better then the average player at just about every game and she is a "true gamer" and she's been playing games for over ten years, pretty hardcore at that. However a normal night of dota(game of choice atm) with my girlfriend goes like this: Playing with my girlfriend and some other friends, i normally lane with her. We get ganked, she's bane and instead of sleeping she nukes and goes oom so we both die while she or both could have lived. I tell her to sleep instead, we get ganked again, as she runs away from a slark(not gonna get away) i keep telling her to just sleep him, over and over again. She finally does it and lives. Now she gets pissed because i "keep telling her what to do" and i get pissed because without my help a lot of times she would die. We then passive aggressively argue on voice making it awkward as fuck for our friends whom we are playing with. This happens like atleast once a night. Dunno how we are supposed to play together. She cannot take criticism at all in any kind of way and blames me for deaths even when im not in the lane with her "you should have ganked" "you should have been here why did u tp mid" and so on. Then i´m equally bad as i cannot let anything she does/says that´s wrong go. Like i correct her all the time when she says stuff and i don't even know why. Like shit that doesn´t even matter, which heroes we are getting ganked by, the chain of events leading to ours/someones death and other useless crap. This happens in like every kind of game we play, i shit you not some of our biggest arguments came after WoW arena games we played together. The thing is i am generally (somtimes a lot) better then her at just about every game we play. Hence i never give in when there´s an argument since i feel that i am the better player hence normally i am right. On top of this she never admits it when she does a good job with something and i cannot help thinking that´s my fault since i keep correcting her constantly, i have to give her credit for about 45min if she does something good and maybe then she will accept it as a good play and not "something everyone does/can do" So anyone with the same situation that makes it work?  We do have fun playing together, but an equal amount of time is spent arguing over stupid useless crap.Lol. The best thing i think is to let her figure out the game herself and play it the way she wants. Even if she dies in-game, she has to learn for herself. I have same problem, i play with my gf and i sometimes overdo it and say too much lol. I have a lot more experience playing games than my gf and she gets pissed if i try to help her or she perceives it as me ordering her around lol. Although tiny advice is really good! It's tough, just gotta let go, everyone likes to play the game their own way, obv there are "best" ways in some games to do things, but just try to overlook it and have fun together. Who cares if you kill that monster with 20 more flameblasts or whatever than was perfectly efficient lol Considering we play SC, we're prob too used to playing a game to "get good" and "do it the most efficient, optimal way" which is not the best way to HAVE FUN :D Otherwise, we all know women are impossible, true fact :D HEUHEUHEU | ||
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Grobyc
Canada18410 Posts
On April 02 2013 10:52 moopie wrote: Don't play competitive games with her. If you guys want to play together, play co-op, non-pvp games (offline or online). Indeed, it sounds like neither of you really enjoy the others company in such an environment and I wouldn't really say either of you are to blame in particular. you're obviously better at the game than her and it's not fun for her to get pushed so hard (even though you're right I'm sure) and it's not fun for you to babysit her. You both play the game at different levels and that's fine, don't try to chalk it up as something it's not. You know she gets upset just because she's frustrated. You tell her to do these things and I'm sure she believes you're giving her good advice as you're a better player, but it's easier said than done, and it's difficult to follow all the advice you give her in the heat of the moment. I don't blame her, we're all human. It's like me watching your SC2 play over your shoulder and going "why did you attack here? you know it was a bad idea. Why didn't you lift your CC to save it? Dude your macro sucks, I told you to watch your money. You need to harass more, you're way too passive." etc. And you know you're messing up when you look at the aftermath, but it doesn't help if I sit there and badger you. Anyways, tl;dr what moopie said. | ||
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Epishade
United States2267 Posts
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FractalsOnFire
Australia1756 Posts
Definitely do a co-op game that isn't too demanding like action RPGs or an easy fps. | ||
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thoraxe
United States1449 Posts
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ZERG_RUSSIAN
10417 Posts
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enVias
Australia41 Posts
i caught flack for the same things you did, telling her what to do during the game confused her more than helped her, and she'd blame me for losses. i changed the way i approached the advice in a couple of simple ways, turned out easy to fix a) i stopped being critical whilst in the game, wait til after b) i started criticising my own play and asking for her opinion on my play before i talked about hers (even though she was over 500 mmr lower than me in arena with the same partners) don't know about your gf, but once mine felt valuable as part of my team she took up the learning attitude much easier, and after seeing my self-criticism for a few months she started thinking about her own play a whole lot more and started doing the same thing. i was stuck at 1900 WoW arena rating with her during our months of arguments. once i changed up the way i gave her advice, we started the climb to our peak together at just over 2600 rating. in sc2 we're currently master together in 2v2, and she was just promoted to master in 1v1. i'd like to think that's due to the self-analytical skills she's built up in the past few years with me | ||
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Xyik
Canada728 Posts
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nanoscorp
United States1237 Posts
2. Laugh it off. A positive attitude makes things more fun for everyone, even if you lose. | ||
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Scarecrow
Korea (South)9172 Posts
edit: also set an example like the guy above said. Be critical of your own play and say what you could've done better. If you are the stronger player than her she'll look at that behaviour and emulate it. All your yelling advice achieves is make her feel likes it's 100% her fault and it's not surprising she'll reject that level of blame. | ||
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NoodleFish
South Africa198 Posts
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Gianttt
Netherlands194 Posts
We actually had a discussion about the fact we had a constant discussion going on when playing games, ending up never having any discussion anymore after solving the issue. Wow I am actually shocked of my own post :D Unfortunately not everyone here can speak dutch, but for the ones who can: http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/6535618/76c7bb83/dumpert_comedy.html Such an awesome explanation of a (love) relationship in general. | ||
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Aelonius
Netherlands432 Posts
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Gianttt
Netherlands194 Posts
On April 02 2013 21:14 Aelonius wrote: I'd never play a game seriously with my girlfriend, for the sake of avoiding arguments and annoyance. Especially games in the MOBA genre which imho tends to call for more anger than say SC2 2v2 Maybe it's just us taking the game to serious sometimes after thinking of my own posts. Not sure if I may say this without getting attacked. We probably got this feeling to win every single game, and get annoyed when she repeatedly makes a mistake, but maybe we can also laugh about it? Haha. What did I just say LUL :D? | ||
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Ilovesunzandsonz
62 Posts
On April 02 2013 16:09 nanoscorp wrote: 2. Laugh it off. A positive attitude makes things more fun for everyone, even if you lose. This. I have taught many people DOTA2 and sc2, (girlfriiend and just female friends), and the best way to have a good time is to not taking everything so seriously. In my opinion, DOTA is even easier to teach then sc2, as you are playing with them, and you are both working together for the same objective. First off I make a new account, and choose lowskill, so the games are relatively easy. Then i usually play a support hero, buy wards and couriers for her, and let her choose whatever hero she wants. It honestly doesn't matter, as i fully expect to lose the game. And we just have fun from there, tease her if she makes a dumb mistake, laugh when you both die to a stupid gank. Just have fun! If she ever gets a kill, tell her good job and how well she is learning the game. Just praise her a lot and make her feel like shes doing great. I personally think she should play heroes you get a lot of kills when you first start out, as that is more interesting and fun, as a lot of action is going on with your hero. Heroes that can get a lot of kills easily is awesome, and in my experience, heroes such as Huskar, Naix, and broodmother she had fun with. Heroes that in the lowskill pool that can easily snowball. Eventually she will get better, and you can teach her how to play support. you can play a carry and proceed to win the game, but winning doesnt really matter. If she puts a ward in a good place, and it stops you from a gank, tell her thas a great ward, and again praise her. I emphasize, having fun is the most important thing. Don't ever get mad at her, or criticize her play. If you want to teach her a hero, play it first,and ask her to watch how you play. From there she can learn and improve by herself, if she has the motivation too. If she doesn't, well the game probably isn't for her then. If you aren't having fun, and if she doesn't want to get better, then move on. But personally I find play with a partner to me one of the most fun things to do in the Dota world, and seeing her improve just makes us both happy. | ||
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