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Hello.
I was thinking to myself when is the right time to get engaged. People do it by age between 20-25 or even later. Or how long you and your partner have been together.
I've recently been considering it. I believe I'm still young but been courting this girl for 18months (which i believe it isn't long enough to consider mabye another year). We don't have big fights, we argue but still come to a conclusion on how to resolve issues. We see each other each weekend as through the week i'm working. The main answer is a trust her i love her and she does the same in return.
Problem is i'm a modern apprenticeship and i've always firmly believed that i need to finacial stable before i can go further into this kind of action.
So made me wonder alot. What would your views be on when is the right time to get engaged.
Thanks for taking your time to read this.
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Only you know when the time is right to get engaged. The way you talk about your fiancé "[...] been courting this girl for 18months" makes me think it might not be the right time to get engaged.
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I'd live with her for at least a year before marriage. You don't know if you're right for each other until you both fart 3-4 times under the covers. That's how this lactose intolerant asian found his one true love!
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On February 20 2013 20:50 JOJOsc2news wrote: Only you know when the time is right to get engaged. The way you talk about your fiancé "[...] been courting this girl for 18months" makes me think it might not be the right time to get engaged.
I tried to write little as possible of my feelings of her. If i was to i could write too much. I adore her and every beeing of me would do anything for her even to extreme circumstances.
I just wanted peoples feelings on this topic of there experience. Just to give me more of idea when the time is right. I would honestly do it now but not too sure of her family would be so happy. Then there are other complications but wont go much further.
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On February 20 2013 20:53 TheQuiff wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 20:50 JOJOsc2news wrote: Only you know when the time is right to get engaged. The way you talk about your fiancé "[...] been courting this girl for 18months" makes me think it might not be the right time to get engaged. I tried to write little as possible of my feelings of her. If i was to i could write too much. I adore her and every beeing of me would do anything for her even to extreme circumstances. I just wanted peoples feelings on this topic of there experience. Just to give me more of idea when the time is right. I would honestly do it now but not too sure of her family would be so happy. Then there are other complications but wont go much further.
Alright! Makes sense. You think her parents wouldn't be happy with it?
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Like burrfoot wrote, you should definitely live with her for a while before you go as far as proposing. I lived together with my GF for over a year before I felt ready to propose. You can love someone to death and never have fights, only to have it crumble to shit as you live with them, it's a completely different relationship at that point. Living together with someone changes your life far more drastically than marrying said person, and you can try living with someone before going that next step, so be sure to do so.
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On February 20 2013 20:55 JOJOsc2news wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 20:53 TheQuiff wrote:On February 20 2013 20:50 JOJOsc2news wrote: Only you know when the time is right to get engaged. The way you talk about your fiancé "[...] been courting this girl for 18months" makes me think it might not be the right time to get engaged. I tried to write little as possible of my feelings of her. If i was to i could write too much. I adore her and every beeing of me would do anything for her even to extreme circumstances. I just wanted peoples feelings on this topic of there experience. Just to give me more of idea when the time is right. I would honestly do it now but not too sure of her family would be so happy. Then there are other complications but wont go much further. Alright! Makes sense. You think her parents wouldn't be happy with it?
Yes and No. I like old tradition and i would like to ask for her mothers permission as she is here biological parent as she has a stepdad who she doesnt get on with.
Her mum had an early pregnancy and so did her mums mum, which led them to have early mariages. Her mum has had 2 marriags now but now dating any of those who she married. She has 3 Daughters (including my Girlfriend) and 1 son. The son and daughter had a child very early on. Non went to do education. They have persuaded her youngest daughter (which is the girlfriend) to go into study of some sort. Which makes me think if i propose and she accepts(which i would put my life savings on) that would upset her family even though she has no ambition or anything to go into full time education she practically wants to be a housewife. She says that would be her dream. Which is fine but i've prevented all of this because i have to sort stuff out first.
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On February 20 2013 20:59 Tobberoth wrote: Like burrfoot wrote, you should definitely live with her for a while before you go as far as proposing. I lived together with my GF for over a year before I felt ready to propose. You can love someone to death and never have fights, only to have it crumble to shit as you live with them, it's a completely different relationship at that point. Living together with someone changes your life far more drastically than marrying said person, and you can try living with someone before going that next step, so be sure to do so.
Yeah i thought his idea was interesting and actually made me think it would be a good decision. She will be moving in with me in 6months time if she gets accepted into this job.
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When you are 100% sure you are prepared to spend the remainder of your life waking up and going to sleep with this person.
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Well, i dont know about your situation, i met my wife when i was 17 (early) we got together about 3 months after that, just before i turned 19 we got engaged (so about 18 months) and now im 20, married, living in an exotic country with my in-laws and fucking loving it.
Do whats right for you man, if you love her, put a ring on it :D
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You'd be mad too do it on a relationship of less than 2 years (at least get past the honeymoon period) and also you should have lived together for a substantial amount of time. Committing for life based on less than that is just asking for a divorce.
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On February 20 2013 23:21 Capped wrote: Well, i dont know about your situation, i met my wife when i was 17 (early) we got together about 3 months after that, just before i turned 19 we got engaged (so about 18 months) and now im 20, married, living in an exotic country with my in-laws and fucking loving it.
Do whats right for you man, if you love her, put a ring on it :D
This is very close to my situation. Well with the age and timing etc. I have in the intention of getting engaged to make her happy aswell myself. I know she would like to be but i have no intention on getting married soon. So i've kind of went off the entire point of getting engaged if i'm correct. I dont understand much but, it's to say you love them and you want to make a commitment to that person.
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18 months ar 1,5 years and you talk about engaging?? no need dude, wait anotther 2 years then engage then 1-2 years later you can marry. you are rushing things
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If age, how long you've been dated/courting, or economics are factors it's probably not the right person...
You get engaged when you know it's the person you want to marry. You get married when it's the person you know you don't want to spend the rest of your life without. (Not just someone you think you can spend the rest of your life with.)
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On February 20 2013 20:52 Burrfoot wrote: I'd live with her for at least a year before marriage. You don't know if you're right for each other until you both fart 3-4 times under the covers. That's how this lactose intolerant asian found his one true love! I agree with this man.
Take a test run tonight and dutch oven her, and if her response is good, ask her to move in and go from there
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I think you will know if she is the one to spend your life with. I'm not married, but my advice is try hinting at the idea and see how she feels about it.
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On February 21 2013 00:41 QuanticHawk wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 20:52 Burrfoot wrote: I'd live with her for at least a year before marriage. You don't know if you're right for each other until you both fart 3-4 times under the covers. That's how this lactose intolerant asian found his one true love! I agree with this man. Take a test run tonight and dutch oven her, and if her response is good, ask her to move in and go from there
Looooooooooooool.
In seriousness, my post earlier i forgot to mention i lived with my wife for 17 of the 18 months we were together (unfortunate / fortunate circumstance) and i agree you really need to live up eachothers assholes before you can really tell if thats the person who is right for you.
We lived, worked and played together, me and my wife, and we're all the stronger for it!
She still hates dutch ovens.
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Also when you take showers together just pee all over her legs and see her reaction(s). It's an innate ancestral spiritual ritual that intertwines your souls together. Also requesting foreskin cleaning afterwards is a must! I learned a lot about her from this. That and the fact that I spent $5 on shampoo+conditioner every 3 months and she spends $60 on shampoo and $40 on conditioner a month!
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On February 21 2013 00:44 HeeroFX wrote: I think you will know if she is the one to spend your life with. I'm not married, but my advice is try hinting at the idea and see how she feels about it.
She has already decided that she wants to be with me for the rest of her days. Which has kinda forced me into a situation. Not meaning i'm forced just was a shock but i don't have any doubts at all about us.
Recently she has been hinting more about being engaged still playfully joking about it but in all seriousness she wants to be engaged. I like the idea of moving intogether and going from there. We might be moving in together in 6-8 months which will tell but until then i don't think ill make any rash decisions.
I'm 90%sure she is the one but living in an envioment where we will be togethere 7 days a week may change the way we are together but already i live with her 3 days a week.
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