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I am writing this blog because well, there's just no one else other than Teamliquid that I feel these thoughts and feelings can be heard.
There is this girl that I like. She is the kind of girl who has that very playful, energetic presence about her. When I talk to her, it is just her and me and it just feels like we are in our own little bubble, that temporary escape from everyday errands and tasks that keeps you going long after the moment has passed.
My friends consider her one of the "hot ones" at my college. When she calls me cutie it just makes the rest of my day brighter. While I was eating with one of my friends, she stopped by our table for some small talk. She and my friend talked for a little bit before she left to join her friend for lunch. She said bye cutie and even though my friend was the one who was talking to her, I said bye as well. It was in that moment that I realized I didn't even give it a second thought to respond to that because now that I gave it a conscious thought, that was her affectionate nickname for me.
After she left, my friend (who has a girlfriend), said that he saw her sometimes at the soccer house and that he thought it was a bit odd that she stopped by to chat because she never talked to him when they were sober. This just solidified what was slowly being processed in my head. Then things clicked together.
The friend who I was eating with plays soccer. The girl that I like has a boyfriend who, guess what, plays soccer. That boyfriend is also a friend of mine and I consider him a good guy. As a result, I am in a very interesting position.
I know that from both sides that they have both had their own problems in their relationship. This morning I ran into my crush during breakfast. When I asked about the food that I presumed she was eating, she told me that she was getting food for her boyfriend. She herself, was just going to grab an apple for breakfast.
I was kinda shocked that she was doing this for him in the first place. I didn't know what to be shocked more with, that she would actually wait in line to get food for him? Or that he is lazy enough to make his girlfriend get food for him. Either way, she wasn't too thrilled about it either.
I would be lieing if I said I didn't feel any feelings of jealousy, but if there is going to be a future between us, it is in my best intentions to let things run their natural course and to not fret over things. Keeping a level head is kind of getting hard though when thinking her is something I have noticed myself doing more and more. but alas, it is the way things are.
 
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Ive been there before. Don't try to split them up with some radical-ass plan, it doesn't end well.
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On January 21 2013 14:53 sLideSC2 wrote:
Ive been there before. Don't try to split them up with some radical-ass plan, it doesn't end well.
Agree with this man! Just let it run its course. She will get tired of doing his bidding, and you will have your chance 
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while you wait for them to break up, i do suggest continuing to pursue other girls
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On January 21 2013 14:22 iheartEDM wrote:
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I know that from both sides that they have both had their own problems in their relationship. This morning I ran into my crush during breakfast. When I asked about the food that I presumed she was eating, she told me that she was getting food for her boyfriend. She herself, was just going to grab an apple for breakfast.
I was kinda shocked that she was doing this for him in the first place. I didn't know what to be shocked more with, that she would actually wait in line to get food for him? Or that he is lazy enough to make his girlfriend get food for him. Either way, she wasn't too thrilled about it either.
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I hope you either just wrote poorly or holding back information because that example is an EXTREMELY POOR one to deduce that something's wrong with their relationship. This happens all the time and there's nothing wrong with it.
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9871 Posts
On January 21 2013 14:53 sLideSC2 wrote:
Ive been there before. Don't try to split them up with some radical-ass plan, it doesn't end well.
yeah what happens when a dude is jealous and doesn't really know better is
1) he convinces himself the girl is being shamefully mistreated, usually incorrectly
2) he tries to subtly convince the girl of the same thing
3) this doesn't work so he tries some stupid plan to break them up and ends up looking like a jackass, which he is
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On January 21 2013 15:32 blabber wrote:
while you wait for them to break up, i do suggest continuing to pursue other girls
you show them darrenc.
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People in relationships do stuff all the time for the other person. I don't see how you could judge her or the bf off something like that. In fact, half the girls I know do their bfs laundry.... honestly...
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Waiting is definitely the better option. However, as it has been said before. Try and get with other girls as well. Getting food isn't that big of a deal honestly and your probably over thinking it quite a bit.
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On January 21 2013 14:53 sLideSC2 wrote:
Ive been there before. Don't try to split them up with some radical-ass plan, it doesn't end well.
Depends. In general it's not uncommon to only split up once another option is clearly available. Really depends on what exactly is going on in their relationship, from the information we have from OP so far he has no clue whatsoever tho.
Standard plan would be to treat her as if she was single and work from there, if she isn't willing to go down that road it's her job to make it clear.
Edit:
On January 21 2013 15:40 UniversalSnip wrote:
yeah what happens when a dude is jealous and doesn't really know better is
1) he convinces himself the girl is being shamefully mistreated, usually incorrectly
2) he tries to subtly convince the girl of the same thing
3) this doesn't work so he tries some stupid plan to break them up and ends up looking like a jackass, which he is
Agree. While there are solid ways to accomplish putting the nail in the coffin of such a relationship consistently someone with the thought process among these lines won't get it done right anyway. =P
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On January 21 2013 17:42 r.Evo wrote:Show nested quote +On January 21 2013 14:53 sLideSC2 wrote:
Ive been there before. Don't try to split them up with some radical-ass plan, it doesn't end well. Depends. In general it's not uncommon to only split up once another option is clearly available. Really depends on what exactly is going on in their relationship, from the information we have from OP so far he has no clue whatsoever tho. Standard plan would be to treat her as if she was single and work from there, if she isn't willing to go down that road it's her job to make it clear.
Not really. That can definitely put off some girls, where potential would exist otherwise.
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On January 21 2013 17:45 FabledIntegral wrote:Show nested quote +On January 21 2013 17:42 r.Evo wrote:On January 21 2013 14:53 sLideSC2 wrote:
Ive been there before. Don't try to split them up with some radical-ass plan, it doesn't end well. Depends. In general it's not uncommon to only split up once another option is clearly available. Really depends on what exactly is going on in their relationship, from the information we have from OP so far he has no clue whatsoever tho. Standard plan would be to treat her as if she was single and work from there, if she isn't willing to go down that road it's her job to make it clear. Not really. That can definitely put off some girls, where potential would exist otherwise.
It can't unless you're a jerk about it. It definitely has higher chances of success than a) waiting or b) being her shoulder to cry on (..and waiting). The "potential" you're speaking about is about the stars aligning correctly, not about your actions making something happen.
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On January 21 2013 14:22 iheartEDM wrote:
I am writing this blog because well, there's just no one else other than Teamliquid that I feel these thoughts and feelings can be heard.
There is this girl that I like. She is the kind of girl who has that very playful, energetic presence about her. When I talk to her, it is just her and me and it just feels like we are in our own little bubble, that temporary escape from everyday errands and tasks that keeps you going long after the moment has passed.
My friends consider her one of the "hot ones" at my college. When she calls me cutie it just makes the rest of my day brighter. While I was eating with one of my friends, she stopped by our table for some small talk. She and my friend talked for a little bit before she left to join her friend for lunch. She said bye cutie and even though my friend was the one who was talking to her, I said bye as well. It was in that moment that I realized I didn't even give it a second thought to respond to that because now that I gave it a conscious thought, that was her affectionate nickname for me.
That's pretty cheesy.
I know that from both sides that they have both had their own problems in their relationship. This morning I ran into my crush during breakfast. When I asked about the food that I presumed she was eating, she told me that she was getting food for her boyfriend. She herself, was just going to grab an apple for breakfast.
I was kinda shocked that she was doing this for him in the first place. I didn't know what to be shocked more with, that she would actually wait in line to get food for him? Or that he is lazy enough to make his girlfriend get food for him. Either way, she wasn't too thrilled about it either.
So I guess if said girl was asking you to grab her a sandwisch, you would say to her she is lazy and has to get it herself right ?
(Were you really SHOCKED ???)
Anyway, what is your question exactly ? You shouldn't break a couple because the girl has to get food for her bf, if that's what you're asking.
Edit: I sometimes ask my gf to cook me food. Guess that makes me a bad guy hey.
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Go for her, love > freindship. Good luck, "there are other fish in the sea" Well, there are other freinds in the world as well.
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On January 21 2013 15:40 UniversalSnip wrote:Show nested quote +On January 21 2013 14:53 sLideSC2 wrote:
Ive been there before. Don't try to split them up with some radical-ass plan, it doesn't end well. yeah what happens when a dude is jealous and doesn't really know better is 1) he convinces himself the girl is being shamefully mistreated, usually incorrectly 2) he tries to subtly convince the girl of the same thing 3) this doesn't work so he tries some stupid plan to break them up and ends up looking like a jackass, which he is
^ That..
or even if you don't have a plan but you're persistent in one way or another, they'll break up/ you'll both get together but then she might start feeling guilty, will be thinking about the ex, etc, etc because that's a normal course for post breakups; to think about your ex.
Then you'll start to feel less worthy because you're thinking that you're a great guy but even with you, she's thinking about someone else.
You both will start to lose and feel sorry for each other.
It's just a downward spiral...
Let things run its course. Obviously you can't just sit around and do nothing at all.. but you can't force it.
Just think 'balance..'
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On January 21 2013 18:07 NMRemorse wrote:
Go for her, love > freindship. Good luck, "there are other fish in the sea" Well, there are other freinds in the world as well.
Love ?
I don't see love (I see infatuation using the term from the other thread). However I see friendship. And he's a good guy apparently too !
What you're suggesting is contrary to the most important rule of the universe:
Bros before hoes
Please don't do that.
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Man this is some grimy ass shit. Scheming about your boy's girl and trying to convince yourself he's a bad guy? Unless she starts developing tracks on her arms or shows up on campus with a pair of black eyes, you really got no idea how good or bad their relationship is. People say things when they're mad. And in college, shit is extra volatile. Just because both of them have confided in you at some point about their problems doesn't mean their relationship is doomed. I've never seen a relationship with no problems before. And you should reciprocate their trust by actually being a friend, not using the info they gave you to scheme. Shame on you and your scheming!
Also, a girl can like guys who aren't her bf. There's nothing wrong with that. But it doesn't mean she's going to leave her bf for you or that she's even thinking about it. Now 90% of the time, she's probably a scheming ass heaux and IS thinking about doing that, but let's not focus on those bad girls. The 10% who are pure of heart will not appreciate you coveting their fine ass. They just think you're a good guy and if things were diff they might have taken you to bed. Emphasis on if things were different.
So, either you try to mess with it and hang around and try to make something happen and it does, and then you've just won yourself a shady, scheming ass heaux, or else you leave it alone and the girl will either make a move on you because she's a heaux or else she won't, at which point you can be sure that she is a maiden of true virtue. Only THEN should you try to make a move because that is a girl worth coveting. Although, it won't work. Because she is a MoTV.
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I dont want to break them up and I am not scheming about it. She did choose him for one reason or another and I respect that and dont want to get in the way of their relationship.
I also feel inclined to pursue our friendship more... >.<
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Don't pursue anything concerning her, my friend. Find another girl, and lavish all the attention and love you can on her. Make sure this girl sees it. That is the sage's path. Women are like neurotic rabbits. If they see you coming, they shrill in terror, and bound away into the wild hills. You must move sideways, always in the shadows, using ancient magic passed down through the ninja clans since the reign of the ancient Emperor Go-Daigo.
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Are you even sure she likes you in that way? I mean, for what I know, you guys have had no physical contact at all and "cutie" isn't really a big deal.
Just don't run around trying to break those guys up
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EPT
