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I am TomServo, I am an introvert. I don't mind interacting with others, but I prefer to listen to you speak your mind to learn more about you. If I have questions I'll ask them. I don't enjoy being interrupted, diverted, or otherwise distracted unless it is absolutely necessary. In fact I am generally frustrated when, namely coworkers, talk about, "the big game," last night with me at my desk (It is a well known fact I don't own a TVin my office, or care about sports).
At the risk of this sounding like the start of an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, that is what I am sticking with. Mostly this pertains to my line of work; to put it simply I am putting in time to move up the proverbial ladder. It is not that I am unhappy with it, more that elements of it disagree with my personality. Suffice it to say when they asked during the interview, "do you work better in a team or alone?" I lied through my teeth.
My job is not physically, mentally or otherwise exhausting, in fact I find that in three games of Starcraft I expend more mental effort than in an eight hour work day. What I find exhausting about my job are the people. For anyone who has worked in a, "branded," corporate environment or even retail environment you may be more familiar with what I am about to describe.
At least in the American retail landscape you are bound to have people above you, who are smothering. I know extroverts that feel so. Some of you may be thinking of good ol' Bill, but that is not the case.
![[image loading]](http://www.cato.org/images/homepage/lumbergh.jpg)
At times that would be down right pleasant to have a boss who wouldn't know my name were it not for the fact he had to correct some behavior which wasn't an issue to begin with. What best describes my daily work environment is peacocking; for those who may not be familiar it is simply posturing. Now MightyAtom has elaborated on this concept in his own pieces here; they are fantastic reads and those serious about moving up the chain should give it a go.
Briefly stated: perceptions matter. Which is part of the reason I am not long for the devastatingly corporate world. I don't smile all the time, I stick to myself 90% of the day, and when approached by coworkers I simply do my best to indulge their niceties and try and get them to move along as quickly as possible. I am nice, not dismissive but I have very little in common with most of these people and many calls from people at a similar paygrade are to solicit tech advice.
I pride myself on being a relatively discerning individual, though my posting history on TL may beg to differ, but for the life of me I cannot pierce the veil of corporate interaction.I can't tell if they are merely attempting to interact with me because they have to, or through some odd happenstance are interested in me beyond the perfectly perfunctory task I do in the name of metrics.
I recoil, shrink up almost. It is odd to feel this happening because I am in some way present for the matter, but inside there is the distinct feeling like something has completely pulled inward from my rib cage. This happens a few times a day.
I am unable to maintain a vast network of "work friends," at most I have two to three people at work who I actively seek to engage with. Beyond that I feel too spread out, that the interaction is too thin. Just enough to make me have to interact, but not enough for me to legitimately interact.
I can't bring myself to pretend to be interested in whatever happened this week on wheel of fortune or what your grandkid did to your six cats.
Looking over this post now, I am not sure where I am going with it any more. It happens I guess, and today was a particularly taxing day for an introvert like me and I suppose I wanted to commiserate by proxy through blogging (thanks for the soapbox TL). Hopefully some of you sympathize and I would love to hear if you did.
Right now I am perfectly content, alone in my apartment and if that suits you as well I hope you find yourself in a similar state.
My phone is off, streams are on, and I will go back tomorrow to face it all again. For now I will just be happy to have some quiet time to myself. I'll leave you with my favorite quote about introversion: I am not lonely I just prefer to be alone. I don't remember where I heard it first, but I think it sums up some of us rather well. Thanks for reading again.
  
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Yeah,
Working in a corporate environment as an introvert must suck really bad.
I just graduated with an accounting degree and contrary to the perception that accounting is an introverted profession, (public accounting is all about client interaction) I kind of dove into the wrong field.
If you don't mind me asking, what do you do?
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Sounds like a reasonable approach. Do what suits you.
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On November 29 2012 14:46 tests wrote:
Yeah,
Working in a corporate environment as an introvert must suck really bad.
I just graduated with an accounting degree and contrary to the perception that accounting is an introverted profession, (public accounting is all about client interaction) I kind of dove into the wrong field.
If you don't mind me asking, what do you do?
I work in Fraud Prevention actually.
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lol dude you’re supposed to be social it makes the mood of the workplace much better, which helps your company.
You say “I prefer to listen to you speak your mind to learn more about you.” Well, the people who are talking to you about sports are kind of showing you something of themselves. Your job is to translate that into something that interests you. If people talk to me about something I’m not interested in I interrupt them. And I say “oh yeah, I’m not huge into sports, I like esports” and then I’ll be like “yeah so if I watched (whatever hes talking about lets say football) I’f be looking from the strategic side. Often, this will bore them, and if they possess any measure of thoughtfulness they will realize that they have bored you also.
It is important for us introverts to remember that socializing is not about the subject matter. It is about people expressing things to elevate their moods. Just get happy with him and say “oh nice man!!” yeah yeah I bet that was fun!” People just want to be nice and talk to someone. It’s not hard. It is not a job. Just let them talk and be nice. Ask simple questions that you are fairly certain they can answer. Questions are important! Even if they are very basic because you do not actively seek out information in the topic they have chosen to discuss, they will be very happy to answer. It’s socializing! Not… mutual interest nerd-out time.
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On November 29 2012 23:29 meteorskunk wrote:
lol dude you’re supposed to be social it makes the mood of the workplace much better, which helps your company.
You say “I prefer to listen to you speak your mind to learn more about you.” Well, the people who are talking to you about sports are kind of showing you something of themselves. Your job is to translate that into something that interests you. If people talk to me about something I’m not interested in I interrupt them. And I say “oh yeah, I’m not huge into sports, I like esports” and then I’ll be like “yeah so if I watched (whatever hes talking about lets say football) I’f be looking from the strategic side. Often, this will bore them, and if they possess any measure of thoughtfulness they will realize that they have bored you also.
It is important for us introverts to remember that socializing is not about the subject matter. It is about people expressing things to elevate their moods. Just get happy with him and say “oh nice man!!” yeah yeah I bet that was fun!” People just want to be nice and talk to someone. It’s not hard. It is not a job. Just let them talk and be nice. Ask simple questions that you are fairly certain they can answer. Questions are important! Even if they are very basic because you do not actively seek out information in the topic they have chosen to discuss, they will be very happy to answer. It’s socializing! Not… mutual interest nerd-out time.
In hindsight I came off much more "qq'y" than intended. I have worked nine days in a row now and needed to vent a bit (Yay busiest shopping weekend of the year). I do try and make the effort in general, I can't in good conscience force them to suffer my nerdery every time they talk with me. Just had not had a moment to recharge by myself for so long. Feeling much improved this morning.
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On November 30 2012 00:08 ThomasjServo wrote:Show nested quote +On November 29 2012 23:29 meteorskunk wrote:
lol dude you’re supposed to be social it makes the mood of the workplace much better, which helps your company.
You say “I prefer to listen to you speak your mind to learn more about you.” Well, the people who are talking to you about sports are kind of showing you something of themselves. Your job is to translate that into something that interests you. If people talk to me about something I’m not interested in I interrupt them. And I say “oh yeah, I’m not huge into sports, I like esports” and then I’ll be like “yeah so if I watched (whatever hes talking about lets say football) I’f be looking from the strategic side. Often, this will bore them, and if they possess any measure of thoughtfulness they will realize that they have bored you also.
It is important for us introverts to remember that socializing is not about the subject matter. It is about people expressing things to elevate their moods. Just get happy with him and say “oh nice man!!” yeah yeah I bet that was fun!” People just want to be nice and talk to someone. It’s not hard. It is not a job. Just let them talk and be nice. Ask simple questions that you are fairly certain they can answer. Questions are important! Even if they are very basic because you do not actively seek out information in the topic they have chosen to discuss, they will be very happy to answer. It’s socializing! Not… mutual interest nerd-out time.
In hindsight I came off much more "qq'y" than intended. I have worked nine days in a row now and needed to vent a bit (Yay busiest shopping weekend of the year). I do try and make the effort in general, I can't in good conscience force them to suffer my nerdery every time they talk with me. Just had not had a moment to recharge by myself for so long. Feeling much improved this morning.
Oh, yes that makes perfect sense. Sorry, i guess i came off preachey. They are making you sit through the sports nerdery.. same thing honestly.. but yeah. that's cool.
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On November 30 2012 00:12 meteorskunk wrote:Show nested quote +On November 30 2012 00:08 ThomasjServo wrote:On November 29 2012 23:29 meteorskunk wrote:+ Show Spoiler + lol dude you’re supposed to be social it makes the mood of the workplace much better, which helps your company.
You say “I prefer to listen to you speak your mind to learn more about you.” Well, the people who are talking to you about sports are kind of showing you something of themselves. Your job is to translate that into something that interests you. If people talk to me about something I’m not interested in I interrupt them. And I say “oh yeah, I’m not huge into sports, I like esports” and then I’ll be like “yeah so if I watched (whatever hes talking about lets say football) I’f be looking from the strategic side. Often, this will bore them, and if they possess any measure of thoughtfulness they will realize that they have bored you also.
It is important for us introverts to remember that socializing is not about the subject matter. It is about people expressing things to elevate their moods. Just get happy with him and say “oh nice man!!” yeah yeah I bet that was fun!” People just want to be nice and talk to someone. It’s not hard. It is not a job. Just let them talk and be nice. Ask simple questions that you are fairly certain they can answer. Questions are important! Even if they are very basic because you do not actively seek out information in the topic they have chosen to discuss, they will be very happy to answer. It’s socializing! Not… mutual interest nerd-out time.
In hindsight I came off much more "qq'y" than intended. I have worked nine days in a row now and needed to vent a bit (Yay busiest shopping weekend of the year). I do try and make the effort in general, I can't in good conscience force them to suffer my nerdery every time they talk with me. Just had not had a moment to recharge by myself for so long. Feeling much improved this morning. Oh, yes that makes perfect sense. Sorry, i guess i came off preachey. They are making you sit through the sports nerdery.. same thing honestly.. but yeah. that's cool.
Not at all man, completely warranted. I come off as don't talk to me a bit too much as it is, the blog didn't do much for me there. Like I said was just in a state @___@. I have three days off starting tomorrow and I will do absolutely nothing, it will be fantastic.
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28076 Posts
On November 30 2012 00:28 ThomasjServo wrote:Show nested quote +On November 30 2012 00:12 meteorskunk wrote:On November 30 2012 00:08 ThomasjServo wrote:On November 29 2012 23:29 meteorskunk wrote:+ Show Spoiler + lol dude you’re supposed to be social it makes the mood of the workplace much better, which helps your company.
You say “I prefer to listen to you speak your mind to learn more about you.” Well, the people who are talking to you about sports are kind of showing you something of themselves. Your job is to translate that into something that interests you. If people talk to me about something I’m not interested in I interrupt them. And I say “oh yeah, I’m not huge into sports, I like esports” and then I’ll be like “yeah so if I watched (whatever hes talking about lets say football) I’f be looking from the strategic side. Often, this will bore them, and if they possess any measure of thoughtfulness they will realize that they have bored you also.
It is important for us introverts to remember that socializing is not about the subject matter. It is about people expressing things to elevate their moods. Just get happy with him and say “oh nice man!!” yeah yeah I bet that was fun!” People just want to be nice and talk to someone. It’s not hard. It is not a job. Just let them talk and be nice. Ask simple questions that you are fairly certain they can answer. Questions are important! Even if they are very basic because you do not actively seek out information in the topic they have chosen to discuss, they will be very happy to answer. It’s socializing! Not… mutual interest nerd-out time.
In hindsight I came off much more "qq'y" than intended. I have worked nine days in a row now and needed to vent a bit (Yay busiest shopping weekend of the year). I do try and make the effort in general, I can't in good conscience force them to suffer my nerdery every time they talk with me. Just had not had a moment to recharge by myself for so long. Feeling much improved this morning. Oh, yes that makes perfect sense. Sorry, i guess i came off preachey. They are making you sit through the sports nerdery.. same thing honestly.. but yeah. that's cool. Not at all man, completely warranted. I come off as don't talk to me a bit too much as it is, the blog didn't do much for me there. Like I said was just in a state @___@. I have three days off starting tomorrow and I will do absolutely nothing, it will be fantastic.
Three days of absolutely nothing. Those are my kind of days 
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I kinda disagree with meteorskunk, you are not at your working place to make your co-workers happy. I would get bored really really fast, when I have to smile and nod yes all the time for the sake of having a conversation. I'd do as ThomasjServo is doing, takes way less energy or trouble.
You are who you are and other people will have to deal with that.
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On November 30 2012 06:14 JellowLight wrote:
I kinda disagree with meteorskunk, you are not at your working place to make your co-workers happy. I would get bored really really fast, when I have to smile and nod yes all the time for the sake of having a conversation. I'd do as ThomasjServo is doing, takes way less energy or trouble.
You are who you are and other people will have to deal with that.
I didn't say that he's there to make his co-workers happy. I meant say that a lot of people appreciate having co-workers who they socialize with.
You say you would avoid all socializing to maintain energy? I don't know if that will consume less or more energy than just faking it. I think some people ought to realize (i ought to) that working a job can be compared to performing in a play. One does not have to be true to all of his real emotions. He can act like something different form himself. I think that may actually be protection in a way actually.
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EPT
