|
I do not know why I am writing this, but I need to get things out...
7 hours ago, me and my love broke up....
We had a really nice talk, where she explained everything to me. She has been a bitch to me for some months now, because that's the way she cope with stuff... But I have forgiven her that, because I love her so much, but it's really hard for me now. She told me that I showed her the way of life that she wants. Because I was the most perfect boyfriend she could ever have had. In every way, she did not have anything to complain on.. NOTHING at all. But...
We had an conversation a half year ago, that changed her life. About 3 different people in this world...
People who go for the church ( priests etc ), people that are single in life and people that are merried. She told me that every time we talked about that, it made her sad because she wants to be alone. She has a lot of problems which she has to fix herself and I can't help her.
So we broke up on a real nice way, but I'm sitting here really hurt! Going back to the military tomorrow where it's really hard and I am REALLY heartbroken. I can't sleep.. Slept for 1.5 hours today. I don't know if I should cry or laugh
I just had to get it out now....
What can I do to make it better? This is my first girlfriend, which I was 100% sure we will be merried. Everything was perfect!!!!!!!!! We had NO problems at all!
  
|
If you had no problems at all, you wouldn't have broken up...
|
when a girl tells you they want to break up, half the time they are testing you, and the other times... let's not talk about that 
if you are going away to the military, it might be harder on you to actually remain happy with her. You know what they say: "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
The best thing to do is to communicate. You said you all had a nice talk, but did it go where you wanted it to go? You're here now, writin' on T.L., and I guarantee you'd rather be doing something different, like talking to her, and communicating about your problems.
|
First girlfriend is always the one you think you might marry, which in time turns out not to be the case for most of them.
I suggest you to just go out and party or find things to keep your mind off of her.
BUT if you REALLY want to be with her, talk to her.
+ Show Spoiler +PS.REAVERRRRRRR REBA REBA REBA REBA REBA!!!
|
Hey bro, US military here. Feel your pain man, but when you get back the work is going to fuckin' sweep you away and hopefully you won't have the time to think about her. You'll be seeing and doing things not very many other people will see and do, and its going to be fuckin' awesome. This happens alot with other folks I've been around and it's happened to me too. But man...after all the shit you're gonna be knee deep in, looking back on it it's gonna be like nothing.
It really fuckin' hurts and it really fuckin' sucks. But that's what PT is for. :D You'll feel great after working out all those negative feelings on the track or the PT field. Sweat it out, man.
Peace, my viking brother-in-arms. Be well.
|
SHe said I showed her the way she wanted to live. IF that is true, that is an honor for me. But where did that leave me ? IT left me heartbroken...
We did not have any big problems at all, all we had was that she started to be a bitch suddently, which she have me serveral reasons in the talk. She told me when she opens up as much as she did for me, she becomes sick.... She has to be alone, because that's the only time she is happy...
I don't know what to do.... I love her so much! I have given everything to her! I have her my heart and I did everything for her!
|
Your first relationship will almost always be a disaster. Its best to get it out of the way.
|
No offence dude but to me it sounds like therewas someone else.
|
Doesn't even necessarily have to be someone else, but it's a real possibility. Personally I hate girls who string on guys like you with their soft breakup oh nothing's wrong bullshit. Break it off and be real about it, or you're just causing undue pain to the guy.
TL;DR: Move on, good luck. It sucks.
|
Sorry bro. Best thing you can do is visit the PUA thread, sounds like you were getting played a bit in there.
>>"Everything was perfect!!!!!!!!! We had NO problems at all!"
But you did, that's why she broke up 
|
first problem is that you couldn't spell married correctly, second was that you let her walk all over you, you need to have an equal power distribution in your relationship or you'll get crushed
|
Canada5155 Posts
On January 08 2012 14:35 cz wrote:
Sorry bro. Best thing you can do is visit the PUA thread, sounds like you were getting played a bit in there.
Wow don't do that. One way ticket to being an objectifying douchebag.
Just grow and learn from this. You know, be a reasonable person.
Give it a month or two to shake off the dust and hopefully you'll learn fromt he experience.
You'll realize how naive you were being. This is part of growing up.
On January 08 2012 14:40 Endymion wrote:
first problem is that you couldn't spell married correctly, second was that you let her walk all over you, you need to have an equal power distribution in your relationship or you'll get crushed
This dude's got it.
|
Sorry man, breakups are rough, especially with your first love.
If you really feel that the two of you should be together then you need to tell her. She'll work through personal issues regardless of if she's single or not. If she wants to be alone you can just take a break - it's a lot better than moving on and I think you should throw the idea out there if she's willing to hear it.
If you've accepted the breakup then you need to change up your routine to aid in adjustment. Change the orientation of your room, pick up a new hobby, start hanging out with friends a bit more, or all of the above! If you keep up the same routine - the same routine she was a part of - then you're more likely to associate certain tasks with her leading to even more depression and sulking. Moving on is a slow process (at least a couple months) and it truly seems to take shape when you, as a person, change. As you change ever so slightly you'll realize that the person who loved this girl and the person this girl loved doesn't exist anymore.
Good luck.
|
eh bro, heartbreak is heartbreak. you have to feel it to get good at coping with it.
first love is hard, it gets easier. just know what your feeling has been felt by almost every single person who has ever loved someone and lost them.
imo, sounds good yous broke up. it sounds like you were really good to her and she didn't fully appreciate you. so it's good that your moving on.
|
On January 08 2012 14:40 Endymion wrote:
first problem is that you couldn't spell married correctly, second was that you let her walk all over you, you need to have an equal power distribution in your relationship or you'll get crushed
I agree. But how was my relationship.
She had a lot of internal problems. She has a dumb picture of herselves. She has problems with family and so on. Smoked weed etc etc. WHat I did is show her the way obviously. I had NO problems at all, until she suddently started to be rude. And why did she do it? She said because that was the way she thought it would be easiest for me to " get over her ". I think she wanted me to break up since she has found this out a long time ago, but could not leave me because I was so good towards her. She told me : " You are perfect for me... If I would think about getting married, it would have been you who stand there and wait for me, but I do not think I ever will get married so it's the best I am single"
" I have been single for 5 months the last 5 years, and those months I found myself and was happy, but every time I jumped into a relationship, it fucked up. I became sick again... So I am on the edge of falling together and making it" she told me. " And I think the only way for me to succseed in life is to do things on my own, not have anybody there to hold my hand" he continued
I am so sad. Because I really love her, and I helped her in every single possible way a person could help her.
|
so go get her back and help her with her problemstell her you like her just the way she is
you dont a fuck about if shes not perfect and shit right? so tell her that, and tell her ur fucking delirously happy to be with her and that you and her can work things out.
Oh, and tell her u fuckign love her thru ur actions. only u know how to do that.
doesn't hurt to say it either.
ou need to have an equal power distribution in your relationship or you'll get crushed
in short: man the fuck up and stop going "ohh i was the perfect bf woe is me"
u said u love her to death and ur gonna marry her and shit
a real man wouldnt take shit from his gf if he wanted to be with her
|
something stands out to me here as blatantly WRONG. you call her "your love" and then call her a bitch in the very next sentence, where you discuss her profoundly upsetting behavior. sounds like true love.
|
The attempt to realize a utopia of limitless choice in the real world has certain predictable consequences: notably, it makes the experience of love one of repeated failure. Those who reject both committed marriage and committed celibacy drift into and out of a series of what are called “relationships,” either abandoning or being abandoned. The lesson inevitably taught by such experiences is that love does not last, that people are not reliable, that in the end one has only oneself to fall back on, that prudence dictates always looking out for number one. And this in turn destroys the generosity, loyalty, and trust which are indispensable for family life and the perpetuation of our kind.
(F. Roger Devlin)
Recommended reading:
http://www.thornwalker.com/ditch/devlin_shalit.htm
http://www.scribd.com/doc/34551310/The-Principles-of-Social-Competence
|
Seeker
Where dat snitch at?36903 Posts
Normally I would tell you to fight for your love and get her back but....
seems like TL ppl indeed know what they're talking about. As much as you don't want to hear this, I don't believe she is worth it. I believe your best course of action is to move on and find someone else.
Best of luck man. :[
|
On January 08 2012 15:31 HeavOnEarth wrote:so go get her back and help her with her problemstell her you like her just the way she is you dont a fuck about if shes not perfect and shit right? so tell her that, and tell her ur fucking delirously happy to be with her and that you and her can work things out. Oh, and tell her u fuckign love her thru ur actions. only u know how to do that. doesn't hurt to say it either. Show nested quote +
ou need to have an equal power distribution in your relationship or you'll get crushed
in short: man the fuck up and stop going "ohh i was the perfect bf woe is me" u said u love her to death and ur gonna marry her and shit a real man wouldnt take shit from his gf if he wanted to be with her
You can't always say that you should accept people the way they are. There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve some aspects of a person's personality. People suffer psychological damage -- this is a fact. Their parents die, they get emotionally abused in relationships, and shit just falls apart. I helped my gf through a pile of emotional problems, and the key was that she knew she had them too. Sounds like its the same as with the OPs ex. Doing so was an emotional rollercoaster of death, not going to lie. OP is the only one who will know if it's worth it though.
On January 08 2012 16:03 Drizzt3 wrote:
something stands out to me here as blatantly WRONG. you call her "your love" and then call her a bitch in the very next sentence, where you discuss her profoundly upsetting behavior. sounds like true love.
Actually, if they love you, they will understand when/if you call them a bitch. Perhaps not in such crude terms though. If your significant other is being a bitch and you still love them, you owe it to them to tell them. People have their own quirks about what sets them off and they just don't notice sometimes. You won't know whats causing them to act like a bitch until you pick their mind about it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
