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yeah, requires awareness and practice (like all things)
its a challenge, but thats why a lot of people never manage to change themselves
personally i believe ive come a LONG LONG LONG way with this girl, its annoying i have to fuck up right now but im glad we're talking about it (me and her) and i still have hope in myself even if she doesnt (can only change her opinion by proving it to her and thats what i intend to do )
still, i wish she wasnt so hard up on it, but thats life. if you wanna cash the cheque you gotta put the hours in
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On August 02 2011 06:51 FFGenerations wrote: u know what today she explained how she was getting annoyed and tired of my company because i havent been taking the iniative and lead in the day to day things. this is a very very typical thing that turns women off like nothing else (not all women though - but this girl especially it seems).
i already knew this to an extent but honestly didnt realise to what extent. she absolutely needs direction (i said "lets go shopping" when i meant "i just wanna browse around randomly and hang out" but she got extremely pissy because she felt like i was just faffing around being indecisive and lame. she hated it when i looked at some clothes but didnt comment enough to her satisfaction (she wants a YES or NO or some strong feedback whereas my general response is to think things over too much).
another example of how this affects us is when i might suggest a movie and then spend 5 minutes saying shit like "mm you might like it because of blah but it does have blah in and the overall tone of the movie is blah and maybe we should watch this other thing instead blah blah". when i really i should just be like "WE WATCHING THIS NOW STFU AND ENJOY"
so these kinda things REALLY and i mean really tick her off and she gets moody and her whole attitude towards me in general becomes very negative, which in turn makes me feel fucked up and because im the classic "conflict-avoider" i just back down and make the situation even worse.
so the major lessons for today kids are that being decisive and leading is way more important than you think - you should ALWAYS be one step ahead of another person and you should ALWAYS be very direct and PRECISE (no faffing around) in anything you do, from buying shit at the shop to knowing when you're going to eat or pick the place to eat.
you should INSTANTLY speak your mind or do whatever comes into you head as soon as you think it. you might think you're very clever and interesting in your head, but no one else fucking knows that unless you shout it out and do it. if she says something that makes you feel like shes pissy, dont hang around wondering and analysing and hoping itll go away. fucking say something - SHE WANTS YOU TO even if she never asks you to. when you dont say something she just thinks "wtf isnt he saying it, he is weak and/or stupid??"
give feedback. all the time. dont fucking overthink everything and spend 10 hours trying to decide whether you like the taste of the ice cream or fancy taking the dog for a walk now or in 30 minutes.
some women are VERY good at doing what they feel like as soon as they think about it and expressing how they feel as soon as they feel it. this makes them natural-born leaders and with that comes an elevated status. if you cant live up to that standard or surpass it then you'll appear unattractive and get poor responses from them. theyll think you are indecisive, poor at communicating, or theyll just think you have an empty head with no opinion or no balls.
i knew all this but i guess i forgot how important or challenging it is with some people. many of my other friends are indecisive and dont really give a fuck about anything, so i get out of practice.
this is why having shit like a car, or inviting a girl to YOUR place rather than going to hers (where you dont know jack shit or even the language) is an immediate bonus. of course, these are superficial things and its great that im able to learn the "hard way" haha. Lol fuckin A great post
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problem being ive been learning the "hard way" for 4 years and still fucking blow asshole (tho the improvement has been immense IMO but that only goes to show how fucking bad i used to be)
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Now I don't have the time to read 6 pages, so this question might have already been answered.
Are you 100% confident that when you think she's showing affection, that she really is? One of my friends would hug my arm when we're standing around waiting for a movie to start seating, that kind of stuff. It's not affection, we're friendzone friends, but it sure seems like it.
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i dont wanna go into personal side of her but im pretty sure there is/can be attraction from her when im doing shit right. that question (and my OP) is out of date now sadly however haha
basically if you act attractive then you can attract any girl , its not really a question of "does she like me" but "am i doing it right" :/
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Just my 2 cents, but:
u know what today she explained how she was getting annoyed and tired of my company because i havent been taking the iniative and lead in the day to day things
You're in the room next to her, right? The way I see this statement is;
"I want you to barge in my room, say that I'm right and that you (FFG) should be more leading. That's why you're going to look up a good restaurant, a great movie and drag me there."
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On August 02 2011 08:26 FFGenerations wrote: i dont wanna go into personal side of her but im pretty sure there is/can be attraction from her when im doing shit right. that question (and my OP) is out of date now sadly however haha
basically if you act attractive then you can attract any girl , its not really a question of "does she like me" but "am i doing it right" :/
OMG FF come on man you're over-thinking this shit. This is not physics, you don't calculate shit like this. How hard is it to take control. BE ALPHA DUDE ITS NOT HARD.
I think I know what your problem is. You're way too concerned about this woman's well being and its fuckin with you. Basically you need to care less without actually caring less.
To illustrate what I mean, lets say she comes to you after a really bad day and she tells you her gripes. You dont do any beta male bullshit like console her and tell her its gonna be alright. Let her friends do that. You aspire to be her man. You COMMAND that woman to change her clothes and TELL her you're taking her out. You may or may not tell her that you're doing this to make her feel better but this is the actual reason. When you go out, you show her a good time. Make her laugh alot. You do this right enough times and soon enough she'll be begging(not literally of course) to ride your bone hardcore.
Like I said god knows how many pages ago...BE AN EFFIN MAN for god sakes. GL Friend
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On August 02 2011 12:45 SaRrAceN wrote:EXACTLY!!!
That girl is pretty hot tho. Would slap those tatas like they were pinatas full of gold.
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Ya, I love her legs. She looks like she will give you a "strong" fuck and break your shit.
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On August 02 2011 06:51 FFGenerations wrote: u know what today she explained how she was getting annoyed and tired of my company because i havent been taking the iniative and lead in the day to day things. this is a very very typical thing that turns women off like nothing else (not all women though - but this girl especially it seems).
i already knew this to an extent but honestly didnt realise to what extent. she absolutely needs direction (i said "lets go shopping" when i meant "i just wanna browse around randomly and hang out" but she got extremely pissy because she felt like i was just faffing around being indecisive and lame. she hated it when i looked at some clothes but didnt comment enough to her satisfaction (she wants a YES or NO or some strong feedback whereas my general response is to think things over too much).
another example of how this affects us is when i might suggest a movie and then spend 5 minutes saying shit like "mm you might like it because of blah but it does have blah in and the overall tone of the movie is blah and maybe we should watch this other thing instead blah blah". when i really i should just be like "WE WATCHING THIS NOW STFU AND ENJOY"
so these kinda things REALLY and i mean really tick her off and she gets moody and her whole attitude towards me in general becomes very negative, which in turn makes me feel fucked up and because im the classic "conflict-avoider" i just back down and make the situation even worse.
so the major lessons for today kids are that being decisive and leading is way more important than you think - you should ALWAYS be one step ahead of another person and you should ALWAYS be very direct and PRECISE (no faffing around) in anything you do, from buying shit at the shop to knowing when you're going to eat or pick the place to eat.
you should INSTANTLY speak your mind or do whatever comes into you head as soon as you think it. you might think you're very clever and interesting in your head, but no one else fucking knows that unless you shout it out and do it. if she says something that makes you feel like shes pissy, dont hang around wondering and analysing and hoping itll go away. fucking say something - SHE WANTS YOU TO even if she never asks you to. when you dont say something she just thinks "wtf isnt he saying it, he is weak and/or stupid??"
give feedback. all the time. dont fucking overthink everything and spend 10 hours trying to decide whether you like the taste of the ice cream or fancy taking the dog for a walk now or in 30 minutes.
some women are VERY good at doing what they feel like as soon as they think about it and expressing how they feel as soon as they feel it. this makes them natural-born leaders and with that comes an elevated status. if you cant live up to that standard or surpass it then you'll appear unattractive and get poor responses from them. theyll think you are indecisive, poor at communicating, or theyll just think you have an empty head with no opinion or no balls.
i knew all this but i guess i forgot how important or challenging it is with some people. many of my other friends are indecisive and dont really give a fuck about anything, so i get out of practice.
this is why having shit like a car, or inviting a girl to YOUR place rather than going to hers (where you dont know jack shit or even the language) is an immediate bonus. of course, these are superficial things and its great that im able to learn the "hard way" haha. You are doing the all caps thing on purpose right? To make fun of that article? Can't tell.
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OMG I Just stumbled onto this EPIC thread. How in God's name could I have missed that.
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On August 02 2011 07:01 Discretionary Duck wrote: By the way, don't even try to explain it to her. Just stop calling, texting, etc. Just disappear. If you're alpha enough in two months to six months' time, then it won't matter. Chicks are simplistic. She won't be like: "Where were you for the last x months." She'll just be overjoyed with your manly presence in her life her hormones will take over and you can start the thrusting.
Best advice by far. If your next 20 days don't work out OP, just disappear for 6 months, work out, become a new guy and meet her again. Tell her you just joined Peace Corps or some shit like that. She'll be thinking you're a hero.
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I'm with the above. It's just that she's got this mental image of you being such an agreeable guy that's she can't shake the feeling that you're a wimp so you pretty much need to shock her.
@storkhwaiting(I'm sorry bro I'm a meticulous planner full of petty tricks but it's how I get the job done lol)(my own personal bag of choices as well I don't read any PUA stuff at all) So for now I'd go with this general plan. You need to leave on a good note and then maintain minimal contact with her for the time you're gone. I'd call this "every 3 days".
Every 3 days you keep in contact with her. Don't contact her any more often than that. If she starts up a conversation within the 3 days you complete the convo and you disappear for 3 days and on the third day you turn up and say hi. As in no texts no fb messages directly to her nothing at all.
The 3 days thing creates the illusion that you have a life. Even if you don't. Which is why it's amazing when I did it while pursuing my girlfriend she just assumed I was hanging out with 300 other attractive women(it helped that I was pretty close to the 4 who lived next door) all at the same time instead of talking to her. Only after we got together and she complained about it did I tell her I was actually working on my dissertation and courseworks those 3 silent days.
But for now just end it on a good note. If she's getting annoyed with you. Take a day off. Go somewhere on your own and don't text her so much while you're gone. Just inform her and be nice about it.
On paper it sounds like a good idea to spend every waking minute with a friend/girlfriend you really get along with. But every guy here in this forum will nod in agreement when I say everyone needs a breather after awhile.
If you did the switch of being all assertive now, it's going to come across as fake/hostile. She will not appreciate it at all. And you will ruin things. You need the distance to reset things.
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On August 02 2011 07:24 FFGenerations wrote:personally i believe ive come a LONG LONG LONG way with this girl, its annoying i have to fuck up right now but im glad we're talking about it (me and her) and i still have hope in myself even if she doesnt (can only change her opinion by proving it to her and thats what i intend to do ) still, i wish she wasnt so hard up on it, but thats life. if you wanna cash the cheque you gotta put the hours in
This is a terrible mindset. Please vacate it immediately.
You haven't come a LONG LONG LONG way with this girl. You've gone nowhere.
Ever think that maybe she's frustrated because she likes you and you're not decisive enough to do anything about it?
When are you going to understand that nothing is going to happen until you do it?
It sounds like you're waiting for a perfect moment. Spoiler alert - it doesn't exist.
Do you want something to happen? Nothing is going to happen unless you do something. Believe me, if you wait this out and move away then you'll wonder for a long time "what would have happened if I made a move?".
Do yourself, and everyone else here, a favor, will you? David DeAngelo doesn't have the answers - she does. Go ask her about it!
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On August 02 2011 12:45 SaRrAceN wrote:EXACTLY!!!
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg such a good music vid
the problem is the kinda "conflict of interests"...wanting to be friends but also wanting to be manly and attractive, which means you cant act so much as you would with a friend (if you arent naturally manly and attractive). you know what i mean ya?
btw she looks a lot like the girl in the video but is actually even hotter haha
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On August 02 2011 14:35 Servius_Fulvius wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2011 07:24 FFGenerations wrote:personally i believe ive come a LONG LONG LONG way with this girl, its annoying i have to fuck up right now but im glad we're talking about it (me and her) and i still have hope in myself even if she doesnt (can only change her opinion by proving it to her and thats what i intend to do ) still, i wish she wasnt so hard up on it, but thats life. if you wanna cash the cheque you gotta put the hours in This is a terrible mindset. Please vacate it immediately. You haven't come a LONG LONG LONG way with this girl. You've gone nowhere. Ever think that maybe she's frustrated because she likes you and you're not decisive enough to do anything about it?
yeah i have felt like this. but right now shes unhappy with my lack of manliness so i have to build that back up again *sigh*. yes, "again"
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On August 02 2011 13:08 CosmicAC wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2011 06:51 FFGenerations wrote: u know what today she explained how she was getting annoyed and tired of my company because i havent been taking the iniative and lead in the day to day things. this is a very very typical thing that turns women off like nothing else (not all women though - but this girl especially it seems).
i already knew this to an extent but honestly didnt realise to what extent. she absolutely needs direction (i said "lets go shopping" when i meant "i just wanna browse around randomly and hang out" but she got extremely pissy because she felt like i was just faffing around being indecisive and lame. she hated it when i looked at some clothes but didnt comment enough to her satisfaction (she wants a YES or NO or some strong feedback whereas my general response is to think things over too much).
another example of how this affects us is when i might suggest a movie and then spend 5 minutes saying shit like "mm you might like it because of blah but it does have blah in and the overall tone of the movie is blah and maybe we should watch this other thing instead blah blah". when i really i should just be like "WE WATCHING THIS NOW STFU AND ENJOY"
so these kinda things REALLY and i mean really tick her off and she gets moody and her whole attitude towards me in general becomes very negative, which in turn makes me feel fucked up and because im the classic "conflict-avoider" i just back down and make the situation even worse.
so the major lessons for today kids are that being decisive and leading is way more important than you think - you should ALWAYS be one step ahead of another person and you should ALWAYS be very direct and PRECISE (no faffing around) in anything you do, from buying shit at the shop to knowing when you're going to eat or pick the place to eat.
you should INSTANTLY speak your mind or do whatever comes into you head as soon as you think it. you might think you're very clever and interesting in your head, but no one else fucking knows that unless you shout it out and do it. if she says something that makes you feel like shes pissy, dont hang around wondering and analysing and hoping itll go away. fucking say something - SHE WANTS YOU TO even if she never asks you to. when you dont say something she just thinks "wtf isnt he saying it, he is weak and/or stupid??"
give feedback. all the time. dont fucking overthink everything and spend 10 hours trying to decide whether you like the taste of the ice cream or fancy taking the dog for a walk now or in 30 minutes.
some women are VERY good at doing what they feel like as soon as they think about it and expressing how they feel as soon as they feel it. this makes them natural-born leaders and with that comes an elevated status. if you cant live up to that standard or surpass it then you'll appear unattractive and get poor responses from them. theyll think you are indecisive, poor at communicating, or theyll just think you have an empty head with no opinion or no balls.
i knew all this but i guess i forgot how important or challenging it is with some people. many of my other friends are indecisive and dont really give a fuck about anything, so i get out of practice.
this is why having shit like a car, or inviting a girl to YOUR place rather than going to hers (where you dont know jack shit or even the language) is an immediate bonus. of course, these are superficial things and its great that im able to learn the "hard way" haha. You are doing the all caps thing on purpose right? To make fun of that article? Can't tell.
no lol, i love d'angelo haha. and i love his caps!
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On August 02 2011 14:48 FFGenerations wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2011 14:35 Servius_Fulvius wrote:On August 02 2011 07:24 FFGenerations wrote:personally i believe ive come a LONG LONG LONG way with this girl, its annoying i have to fuck up right now but im glad we're talking about it (me and her) and i still have hope in myself even if she doesnt (can only change her opinion by proving it to her and thats what i intend to do ) still, i wish she wasnt so hard up on it, but thats life. if you wanna cash the cheque you gotta put the hours in This is a terrible mindset. Please vacate it immediately. You haven't come a LONG LONG LONG way with this girl. You've gone nowhere. Ever think that maybe she's frustrated because she likes you and you're not decisive enough to do anything about it? yeah i have felt like this. but right now shes unhappy with my lack of manliness so i have to build that back up again *sigh*. yes, "again"
You know what builds that up REAL fast? Being an man and being upfront with your feelings.
If you prefer the day-to-day dynamic approach then you're beyond help. Have fun getting nowhere...
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