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Don't post in this thread to say "gay gamers are like everyone else, why do they have a special thread?" It is something that has been posted numerous times, and this isn't the place for that discussion.
For regular posters, don't quote the trolls. |
This post is going to be very serious over something that's been bothering me for a long time so if you don't want to read that kind of post, please skip along.
Ever since I was 13 and fully realized that it was expected of boys to get a girlfriend, I've tried for years to date girls. It never worked out and I could never get really interested in women the same way all of my friends did. I came to terms with the fact that I was gay at 17, but I'm 21 now and still a complete virgin.
It's not like I think it would be particularly hard to get a boyfriend or just get casual sex, I've posted pictures of myself on the internet and been approached by plenty of guys on dating sites. The thing that bothers me is I still feel like being gay is morally wrong.
It doesn't make sense to me to be gay, how could I carry on the inheritance of everything my family owns and has established if I never have any children? Not only that but to me, it just seems like the relationship between men and women is an important part of life in the civilized world and for creating a functional society. It's romanticized in writings, movies, songs and comics/cartoons for as long as people have been making art. The pursuit of a woman is one of those integral things to being a man. When I realize that no matter how much I try, I simply can't be romantically or sexually interested in a woman, I feel flawed as a person.
If there was a way to make myself straight, I'd do it in a heartbeat. There's no reason to be gay.
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On September 30 2012 10:08 SilverWolfe wrote:
This post is going to be very serious over something that's been bothering me for a long time so if you don't want to read that kind of post, please skip along.
Ever since I was 13 and fully realized that it was expected of boys to get a girlfriend, I've tried for years to date girls. It never worked out and I could never get really interested in women the same way all of my friends did. I came to terms with the fact that I was gay at 17, but I'm 21 now and still a complete virgin.
It's not like I think it would be particularly hard to get a boyfriend or just get casual sex, I've posted pictures of myself on the internet and been approached by plenty of guys on dating sites. The thing that bothers me is I still feel like being gay is morally wrong.
It doesn't make sense to me to be gay, how could I carry on the inheritance of everything my family owns and has established if I never have any children? Not only that but to me, it just seems like the relationship between men and women is an important part of life in the civilized world and for creating a functional society. It's romanticized in writings, movies, songs and comics/cartoons for as long as people have been making art. The pursuit of a woman is one of those integral things to being a man. When I realize that no matter how much I try, I simply can't be romantically or sexually interested in a woman, I feel flawed as a person.
If there was a way to make myself straight, I'd do it in a heartbeat. There's no reason to be gay.
Heterosexual relationships have been idealized forever because being gay wasn't acceptable or even recognized to any degree (except for a few exceptions). I don't see why it has to "make sense" in the way you're suggesting, it's pure stupid tradition and old thinking, which doesn't belong in this world anymore. It's not vital that you carry on your bloodline in the traditional sense anymore; it's the 21st century.
There's no 'reason' to be straight, either. The world population certainly is doing fine right now, and stupid societal pressures (which I don't think even exist in the west anymore) isn't a reason either.
Oh, and hi everybody. I'm not gay, but I stop by this thread every now and then, you all seem a friendly bunch.
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On September 30 2012 10:08 SilverWolfe wrote:
This post is going to be very serious over something that's been bothering me for a long time so if you don't want to read that kind of post, please skip along.
Ever since I was 13 and fully realized that it was expected of boys to get a girlfriend, I've tried for years to date girls. It never worked out and I could never get really interested in women the same way all of my friends did. I came to terms with the fact that I was gay at 17, but I'm 21 now and still a complete virgin.
It's not like I think it would be particularly hard to get a boyfriend or just get casual sex, I've posted pictures of myself on the internet and been approached by plenty of guys on dating sites. The thing that bothers me is I still feel like being gay is morally wrong.
It doesn't make sense to me to be gay, how could I carry on the inheritance of everything my family owns and has established if I never have any children? Not only that but to me, it just seems like the relationship between men and women is an important part of life in the civilized world and for creating a functional society. It's romanticized in writings, movies, songs and comics/cartoons for as long as people have been making art. The pursuit of a woman is one of those integral things to being a man. When I realize that no matter how much I try, I simply can't be romantically or sexually interested in a woman, I feel flawed as a person.
If there was a way to make myself straight, I'd do it in a heartbeat. There's no reason to be gay.
I'm gay and highly feral minded. That is to say, I need to keep my genes alive because they are completely awesome. Anyway, I will have kids. ezpz. Make no mistake.
You just have to break your domestication, mate. My mother tried to raise me to hate people and never trust anything. i quickly destroyed that for myself. Same with you. What you perceive about homosexuality is an illusion. Homosexuality is just a slight cosmetic difference that has no hold on what is real. The real is that we are all as one. We will cause progression in our species by working together not as individuals. :D
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<3 you all 
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On September 30 2012 10:08 SilverWolfe wrote:
This post is going to be very serious over something that's been bothering me for a long time so if you don't want to read that kind of post, please skip along.
Ever since I was 13 and fully realized that it was expected of boys to get a girlfriend, I've tried for years to date girls. It never worked out and I could never get really interested in women the same way all of my friends did. I came to terms with the fact that I was gay at 17, but I'm 21 now and still a complete virgin.
It's not like I think it would be particularly hard to get a boyfriend or just get casual sex, I've posted pictures of myself on the internet and been approached by plenty of guys on dating sites. The thing that bothers me is I still feel like being gay is morally wrong.
It doesn't make sense to me to be gay, how could I carry on the inheritance of everything my family owns and has established if I never have any children? Not only that but to me, it just seems like the relationship between men and women is an important part of life in the civilized world and for creating a functional society. It's romanticized in writings, movies, songs and comics/cartoons for as long as people have been making art. The pursuit of a woman is one of those integral things to being a man. When I realize that no matter how much I try, I simply can't be romantically or sexually interested in a woman, I feel flawed as a person.
If there was a way to make myself straight, I'd do it in a heartbeat. There's no reason to be gay.
The truth is, the idealization of a sexual preference in the media does not make it right or the only way. The only consideration that you should have towards your sexuality is your own personal happiness. If you're happy with how you want to live your life, then there's no reason for regret.
Like mart, I'm not gay, but I do stop by here sometimes.
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How isn't homosexuality a fetish?
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On September 30 2012 10:08 SilverWolfe wrote:
This post is going to be very serious over something that's been bothering me for a long time so if you don't want to read that kind of post, please skip along.
Ever since I was 13 and fully realized that it was expected of boys to get a girlfriend, I've tried for years to date girls. It never worked out and I could never get really interested in women the same way all of my friends did. I came to terms with the fact that I was gay at 17, but I'm 21 now and still a complete virgin.
It's not like I think it would be particularly hard to get a boyfriend or just get casual sex, I've posted pictures of myself on the internet and been approached by plenty of guys on dating sites. The thing that bothers me is I still feel like being gay is morally wrong.
It doesn't make sense to me to be gay, how could I carry on the inheritance of everything my family owns and has established if I never have any children? Not only that but to me, it just seems like the relationship between men and women is an important part of life in the civilized world and for creating a functional society. It's romanticized in writings, movies, songs and comics/cartoons for as long as people have been making art. The pursuit of a woman is one of those integral things to being a man. When I realize that no matter how much I try, I simply can't be romantically or sexually interested in a woman, I feel flawed as a person.
If there was a way to make myself straight, I'd do it in a heartbeat. There's no reason to be gay.
Realize that gender is a social construct. Yes, separate sexes are a part of our biology and how we reproduce, so men and women have to come together in some way to reproduce. However, marriage, inheritance, dating, romance, etc. are merely historically and culturally created. They are not truths nor benchmarks for the individual to survive.
If you are attracted to men, don't feel ashamed. Homosexuality was not a concept until the late nineteenth century because in most societies sex was distinguished between productive/non-productive, not straight/gay. Realize that you have the ability to fulfill your desires. Now if you don't have the desire to pursue someone, then don't feel you have to. I am a 27 year old virign because I don't chase it. Sex, no matter how much our culture tells us, does not define us.
You're right; There is no reason to be gay. It's merely a desire. In our time, there isn't a reason to be straight either. So if you do want to have sex or a relationship (it sounds like the latter), get out there; have fun and be safe.
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On October 01 2012 10:13 RoieTRS wrote:
How isn't homosexuality a fetish?
Homosexuality isn't all about sex. It's about love.
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I hope people aren't offended by this, but I have always wondered why gay people have such a need to "jump out", and tell the world their sexual orientation, all the while wanting to be accepted for whom they are as persons. It seems so counter-productive to me, and makes me think they define themselves by their sexuality, while wanting to be addressed like anyone else.
I am not provoked by one being gay, transsexual, transgender or what not - nor do I feel they should be ashamed; love comes in all shapes and forms, identity too. We all want girls to be accepted as gamers as well as equals, and not sexual objects, so why the need to making this approach?
I could understand it in the 80s, when the ice needed some breaking instead of being swept under the rug, but today? Not at all. People have all kinds of sexual orientations, and have since the dawn of times, and is something private.
This question isn't related to this thread, but in general.
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On October 01 2012 11:13 Dracolich70 wrote:
I hope people aren't offended by this, but I have always wondered why gay people have such a need to "jump out", and tell the world their sexual orientation, all the while wanting to be accepted for whom they are as persons. It seems so counter-productive to me, and makes me think they define themselves by their sexuality, while wanting to be addressed like anyone else.
I am not provoked by one being gay, transsexual, transgender or what not - nor do I feel they should be ashamed; love comes in all shapes and forms, identity too. We all want girls to be accepted as gamers as well as equals, and not sexual objects, so why the need to making this approach?
I could understand it in the 80s, when the ice needed some breaking instead of being swept under the rug, but today? Not at all. People have all kinds of sexual orientations, and have since the dawn of times, and is something private.
This question isn't related to this thread, but in general.
It's not really private if it's the most accepted type. Magazines, television, advertisements display purely heterosexual relationships. So the whole "keep it private" stance continues to be homophobia in disguise as far as I can tell.
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On October 01 2012 13:55 MountainDewJunkie wrote:Show nested quote +On October 01 2012 11:13 Dracolich70 wrote:
I hope people aren't offended by this, but I have always wondered why gay people have such a need to "jump out", and tell the world their sexual orientation, all the while wanting to be accepted for whom they are as persons. It seems so counter-productive to me, and makes me think they define themselves by their sexuality, while wanting to be addressed like anyone else.
I am not provoked by one being gay, transsexual, transgender or what not - nor do I feel they should be ashamed; love comes in all shapes and forms, identity too. We all want girls to be accepted as gamers as well as equals, and not sexual objects, so why the need to making this approach?
I could understand it in the 80s, when the ice needed some breaking instead of being swept under the rug, but today? Not at all. People have all kinds of sexual orientations, and have since the dawn of times, and is something private.
This question isn't related to this thread, but in general. It's not really private if it's the most accepted type. Magazines, television, advertisements display purely heterosexual relationships. So the whole "keep it private" stance continues to be homophobia in disguise as far as I can tell. And there is hetero porn, gay porn, etc etc on the internet, and gay magazines. Think you missed the point, and took it to your own point. I am addressing the personal sphere.
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On October 01 2012 11:13 Dracolich70 wrote:
I hope people aren't offended by this, but I have always wondered why gay people have such a need to "jump out", and tell the world their sexual orientation, all the while wanting to be accepted for whom they are as persons. It seems so counter-productive to me, and makes me think they define themselves by their sexuality, while wanting to be addressed like anyone else.
I am not provoked by one being gay, transsexual, transgender or what not - nor do I feel they should be ashamed; love comes in all shapes and forms, identity too. We all want girls to be accepted as gamers as well as equals, and not sexual objects, so why the need to making this approach?
I could understand it in the 80s, when the ice needed some breaking instead of being swept under the rug, but today? Not at all. People have all kinds of sexual orientations, and have since the dawn of times, and is something private.
This question isn't related to this thread, but in general.
"Flamers" define a very small community of the gay population. Not every gay guy goes wavin' his sexuality around, nor does every lesbian. Some do because they feel it defines them better as a person. Even before I came to my revelation that I am trans*, I did not feel the need to go shout at the world that I am bi. If people asked or wondered I'd give them an honest answer, but I keep my sexual preferences to myself unless I'm in a relationship and just like straight people, I'll show off whoever I'm with. The social norm is "everyone is straight, homosexuality is wrong" so anythin' nonstraight automatically appears as shovin' "our" views upon you but in reality its just what society WANTS you to believe thus skewin' judgement. And yes, there are straight equivalents to "flamers" but you probably don't think two thoughts about them because "straight is normal". One of my friends, a straight male, loves goin' down the hall way yellin' "I LOVE BOOBIES!" and no one confronts him actin' like he's "forcin' his views onto them". Callin' out someone for bein' a flamer is a much more subtle way of showin' homophobia compared to just out right sayin' "You're a faggot therefore I hate you."
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On October 01 2012 11:13 Dracolich70 wrote:
I hope people aren't offended by this, but I have always wondered why gay people have such a need to "jump out", and tell the world their sexual orientation, all the while wanting to be accepted for whom they are as persons. It seems so counter-productive to me, and makes me think they define themselves by their sexuality, while wanting to be addressed like anyone else.
I am not provoked by one being gay, transsexual, transgender or what not - nor do I feel they should be ashamed; love comes in all shapes and forms, identity too. We all want girls to be accepted as gamers as well as equals, and not sexual objects, so why the need to making this approach?
I could understand it in the 80s, when the ice needed some breaking instead of being swept under the rug, but today? Not at all. People have all kinds of sexual orientations, and have since the dawn of times, and is something private.
This question isn't related to this thread, but in general.
I would also like to point out that being forward with your orientation is a defense mechanism for a lot of gay people. It is easy to lose sight, especially if you live in very liberal communities, of the fact that there is still a huge population of people who are not okay with homosexuality. I myself, even living in the San Francisco bay area, have lost friends and suffered harassment from people who find out. In fact, since I am not an obvious gay I find the reaction is sometimes exaggerated since they feel tricked and the longer we associate without them finding out the worse their reaction.
Basically, being "out" keep the bigots away and reduces the risks associated with juggling incompatible world views.
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On October 01 2012 14:08 Troxle wrote:Show nested quote +On October 01 2012 11:13 Dracolich70 wrote:
I hope people aren't offended by this, but I have always wondered why gay people have such a need to "jump out", and tell the world their sexual orientation, all the while wanting to be accepted for whom they are as persons. It seems so counter-productive to me, and makes me think they define themselves by their sexuality, while wanting to be addressed like anyone else.
I am not provoked by one being gay, transsexual, transgender or what not - nor do I feel they should be ashamed; love comes in all shapes and forms, identity too. We all want girls to be accepted as gamers as well as equals, and not sexual objects, so why the need to making this approach?
I could understand it in the 80s, when the ice needed some breaking instead of being swept under the rug, but today? Not at all. People have all kinds of sexual orientations, and have since the dawn of times, and is something private.
This question isn't related to this thread, but in general. "Flamers" define a very small community of the gay population. Not every gay guy goes wavin' his sexuality around, nor does every lesbian. Some do because they feel it defines them better as a person. Even before I came to my revelation that I am trans*, I did not feel the need to go shout at the world that I am bi. If people asked or wondered I'd give them an honest answer, but I keep my sexual preferences to myself unless I'm in a relationship and just like straight people, I'll show off whoever I'm with. The social norm is "everyone is straight, homosexuality is wrong" so anythin' nonstraight automatically appears as shovin' "our" views upon you but in reality its just what society WANTS you to believe thus skewin' judgement. And yes, there are straight equivalents to "flamers" but you probably don't think two thoughts about them because "straight is normal". One of my friends, a straight male, loves goin' down the hall way yellin' "I LOVE BOOBIES!" and no one confronts him actin' like he's "forcin' his views onto them". Callin' out someone for bein' a flamer is a much more subtle way of showin' homophobia compared to just out right sayin' "You're a faggot therefore I hate you." I am not thinking about the ones that answers questions about their sexual orientation, and people like you who behave like most, but the vocal ones. It is hard for me to explain exactly what I mean.
It is like some have the priority that they want to be accepted outside their sexual orientation, but use their sexual preference to do this first. First they do not want the sexual orientation to be of importance for acceptance and somehow they still do. It is kind of two-folded, and seem to work against what they say they want; accept me for my persona, not my sexuality - as I am no better or worse than you, no matter my sexual orientation. If you feel love is of the most importance, and what kind of gender your preference is not important, then should not be of importance to parade. Otherwise it kind of works against what is being said. Most prefer and are protective of their own preference group, whether it being sexual orientation, ethnicity, political party, game, genre, religion, sports club, etc etc etc etc.
People do not have to consider their view on the given sexual orientation to evaluate if they like someone or not. Why is it important if people accept the sexual orientation or not, and why isn't it private business?
I would feel the same if someone wanted to present themselves, as I am xxxx, and I am hetero sexual[or insert any other kind]. Or I am xxx and I am a gamer. Being a gamer is not my persona, but just a part of me, and only of relevance in a certain context, where gaming is involved. Both would seem like a free-pass to be accepted on the persona part. People would not have to accept gaming to accept my persona. Just like all the "Nerd" movies, back when it was something most did not understand(I am from that age, when many frowned upon gaming or being a nerd - and I was a rare species in my own surroundings). I felt no shame either for being what I am, but did not feel the need for people to accept it to accept my persona.
It is like some need to have others to accept their sexual orientation so they can accept it themselves. Acceptance always starts with one self.
I am not really touching the subject of "I love boobies" or "I love cock", but people wanting to be accepted on their sexual orientation - whether hetero/animal/SM/homo/incest to be accepted for their persona. People would not have to identify with neither to like the person or disliking them. If I should touch that subject, I bet your friend would be frowned upon if he did so in gay circles, and would most definitively find it provocative, they would also if he said, "you must be hetero phobic". In most circles - most would think he was a juvenile simpleton, even though they love boobies themselves. A girl screaming "I love the cock" in lesbian circles would be considered provocative as well, while screaming "I love the pussy" would not so much.
It seems like a some safety net for the persona. "The reason you do not like me, is because of my sexual orientation". I am certain that many have problems with different sexual orientations, but most people are enlightened now-a-days, and it is not really important out of context. It is like addressing things that were addressed 30 years ago. And today is is no longer anything out of the ordinary. Most people accept, not that I see it of importance really, as it is a private matter, what you do in the bedchamber - unless people asks because they are curious, and the person wants to answer. You seem to feel the same way considering what you have posted around everything, and therefore you must share that shoving your sexual preference in public is not that odd that some get provoked by - especially if you do not share it, nor feel that you should be forced to accept - such things can't be forced - some accept, other do not, but let it be their own choice. It is not really on a need-to-know basis either. I accept it, because I am such a person, not because I am forced. I chose watching Boys don't cry and The crying game on my own accord. Shoving "Phobia" is bullying. The thought of a cock up ones own ass, is of course not something a straight guy or lesbian, finds appealing, else (s)he would probably try it. Most now-a-days can accept that others differ from themselves, and do not feel the need to bully, as they are enlightened. This should go both ways(or multiple).
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On August 27 2010 21:04 Mora wrote:
LGBT and friends IRC channel: #gteamliquid
LGBT SC2 and friends chat channel: GTL
Hi. My name is Mora. I am the local queer Starcraft player, and i write this post with the intentions of allowing other gay Starcraft players to find each other.
Possibly You: What does sexuality have to do with Video Games? I don't care if someone is gay or not, it just shouldn't be on an SC2 forum.
Well, no.
It's so difficult to start somewhere in this explanation. blarhg
When you're gay you don't know if you belong anywhere. You're taught, culturally, that it's disgusting and wrong. It's cool to be cool with people who are gay, but it's disgusting to want to have a dick in your mouth.
You ask questions like: If i talk, will everyone know that i'm gay? Will my friends still be my friends if they knew? Will my family still love me? Am i less of a man because i like other men? Am i male enough to hang out with heterosexual men?
This kind of minority is tricky. Before you have a chance to gain experience in gay culture, you don't have the tools to indentify who is gay and who isn't. The only people who are gay are the flamboyant guys on your TV screen and the faggot who gets beat up at lunch time because he likes to wear pink jeans (though in bigger cities this is less the case). We don't have any way to indentify each other. We can't see the only other asian/white kid/wheelchair/fatty in our school and go "hey, we can join forces against haters and be without hate".
And the hate is a different kind too. Being gay is about what you're aroused by. It's a deviation in carnal human behaviour. When someone hates you for that deviation, you feel that you can't argue with them. That It's not wrong to hate something disgusting. You understand that disgust because you’ve experienced it in the other direction – that the thought of sticking my tongue inside a dank vagina made me want to puke. That when i would watch straight porn, and see the tits bouncing around, i would lose my erection.
You sympathize with the disgust.
That's fucked.
So then many of us tend towards a hobby or a lifestyle that will be inclined to bring us in contact with other gays. We shy away from sports, we befriend more women than men, we learn to like fashion; we become masters at gossip.
But i like sports. I didn't get the fashion gene. I like to have conversations about things that are interesting, not trivialities regarding who said hi to whom.
I like strategy games.
So where do i find another guy that has the same interests?
Imagine if the only place you could meet girls was an internet forum called "Heterosexuality". You've never seen them in class. You've not seen them on the street. You've never had a conversation with one, you've never even made contact. Man, that would suck.
It does suck.
So i've created this thread for a few reasons.
1) For gays to find other gays that actually have something in common, other than their seuxality.
2) For gays to ask questions. I have a lot of experience with sexuality and gender psychology.
3) For everyone else to ask questions. Want to know if gaydar really exists? Want to know how gays figure out who gets to be on top or the bottom? Why do gays talk with a lisp anyway? Does Mora really have a crush on Incontrol?
Go!
edit - If you're question is more personal and you do not want it broadcasted on tl.net, feel free to send me a private message.
Nice educational post! Glad to hear that the queer community is also enjoying Starcraft.
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On October 01 2012 14:43 Dracolich70 wrote:
It is like some have the priority that they want to be accepted outside their sexual orientation, but use their sexual preference to do this first. First they do not want the sexual orientation to be of importance for acceptance and somehow they still do. It is kind of two-folded, and seem to work against what they say they want; accept me for my persona, not my sexuality - as I am no better or worse than you, no matter my sexual orientation. If you feel love is of the most importance, and what kind of gender your preference is not important, then should not be of importance to parade. Otherwise it kind of works against what is being said. Most prefer and are protective of their own preference group, whether it being sexual orientation, ethnicity, political party, game, genre, religion, sports club, etc etc etc etc.
You do not want your sexual orientation to be of importance, but to achieve this you have to explicitly point it out and make it, at least temporarily, important. It's a very tricky situation indeed, and yes, some do get it wrong. It's a very easy thing to get wrong.
Being gay is not the perfectly normal, socially acceptable thing that you say it is. Sure, the (western) media are working hard on making it so, and most friends that we have most likely don't care about sexual preferences, but the general population? Nope. Even in the most tolerant of countries, there are significant portions of the population that have very firm opinions on whether being gay is acceptable or not. And as such, it is important to make sure that you are being accepted for what you are by your peers (or even better, find out that your peers genuinely do not care about your sexual orientation). So you have to out yourself.
Thing is, there's no "right" way to do this. Introducing yourself as "Hi, I'm X, and I'm gay." would be pretty straightforward, but would most likely lead to more posts like yours. On the other hand, not telling your peer about your sexual orientation feels like you're hiding a fundamental part of yourself from them. And there's few things more crushing than finding out that the guy (or gal) you've befriended in the last couple of months - and whom you've gotten along really, really well with - suddenly starts to distance him/herself from you the moment they find out you're gay.
You got to find a middle-ground between these two extremes, and that's not easy at all. It's very easy to interpret an outing as an attempt to define oneself through his sexual orientation. But in the vast majority of the cases, that's simply not true at all.
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To respond to Dracolich70, it's not that we want to be defined by our sexual orientation. It's just that someway or another, the idea that gay people exist is an idea that has to be propagated by gay people in order to protect ourselves from unwanted discrimination. Likewise, if you really do become close friends with someone, you're essentially hiding a fairly important part of your life from them; eventually they would wonder why you're not interested in women sexually/don't have a wife etc.
It might be hard to understand when you hetero, but the reason why there exists such a thing as 'gay pride day' is because every day is 'straight pride day'. You don't have to feel scared of declaring that you find women sexy around people, other men will more likely than not agree with you, openly or not. And likewise, they'll never discriminate against you. If you tell your buddies, "I think Jessica has a great ass," none of them will think it's weird. Everywhere you go or look, more likely than not the women around you are straight and potential dating partners. Really, it's not socially unacceptable at all for you to make a pass at a woman or ask her out. That's really normal behavior. If I start doing that on the street to men, either I get my ass kicked or I get arrested for sexual harassment or something. And this concept of heterosexual romance and culture has been so prevalent in societies around the world that there is just no escaping it: even in the modern first world, being gay sets you apart from other people.
In a way I think there needs to be two kinds of gay people, even though they'll usually say that one type is working against another. You need those fruity, 'out-there' gay people to declare that gay people exist so that there's some kind of awareness, although some gay people would say they really don't feel these kinds of people are representative of them. And likewise you need more 'normal seeming', more quiet homosexuals who are less open about their sex lives to demonstrate to society that gay people can be completely normal, unobtrusive members of society as well.
But really, if someone is completely defined as a person just by their sexuality, they are probably a loser whether they are gay or straight.
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On October 01 2012 11:13 Dracolich70 wrote:
I hope people aren't offended by this, but I have always wondered why gay people have such a need to "jump out", and tell the world their sexual orientation, all the while wanting to be accepted for whom they are as persons. It seems so counter-productive to me, and makes me think they define themselves by their sexuality, while wanting to be addressed like anyone else.
I am not provoked by one being gay, transsexual, transgender or what not - nor do I feel they should be ashamed; love comes in all shapes and forms, identity too. We all want girls to be accepted as gamers as well as equals, and not sexual objects, so why the need to making this approach?
I could understand it in the 80s, when the ice needed some breaking instead of being swept under the rug, but today? Not at all. People have all kinds of sexual orientations, and have since the dawn of times, and is something private.
This question isn't related to this thread, but in general.
The reason for this is there is an ignorance which needs addressed. The ignorance of homophobia. In order to address this ignorance then the issue needs to be made publically aware. Just like racism, sexism or any form of discrimination it needs to be made publically aware to enable it to be addressed.
Unlike colour and gender (despite what the stereotypers believe) being gay isn't physically obvious therefore the only way to make people aware is to declare your preference. Contrary to belief being camp doesn't define a gay person, not all gay people are camp, not all camp people are gay. Equally a male wearing pink or cross dressing also does not indicate a person is gay. I for one am not camp nor do I cross dress. Being gay is a sexual preference and not a mannerism or behaviour.
If homophobia didn't exist there would be no need for it to be seen as a difference. Like it or not homophobia is still rife across the globe. Therefore there is still a lot of ground work to be done to eliminate this oppression. Unfortunately the only way to tackle this is for it to declare sexuality and make the problem known.
So... I don't think people need to jump out and tell people their sexualy orientation I also don't feel they do. The only times I ever come across this is when someone is defending their orientation against ignorant politically incorrect remarks from some homophobic.
I think the reason should be pretty clear as to why, I'm puzzled as to why you wondered.
I could equally turn this argument around and ask why some straight men feel the need to declare they are not gay? What should it matter if someone thought they were. As long as they know there preference what does it matter? Why do they feel the need to deny it?
I think the problem is that people who aren't affected by this discrimination do not understand what it is like to try to live a normal life when faced with such discrimination.
Living with being gay is anxiously anticipating peoples reactions when they do find out, that awkward moment when someone assumes you're hetrosexual and asks if you have a Girlfriend! Or even worse when they assume you're hetrosexualy and make a derogatory comment on homosexuality. It's about building a friendship with someone knowing you haven't told them as you don't feel there is a need to yet once they find out they treat you differently or stop speaking to you.
These are the reasons why..... As long as homophobia exists then there will always be people wanting to come out and show that being Gay is normal! The only thing that is abnormal is the brainwashed idea of Man meets Woman and no other possible combination is acceptable.
I like your approach and acceptance of this. All of my reply is not aimed at your post but more inspired by it and generally airing my thoughts.
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It's gotta be somewhat confusing that both Silverfoxx and Silverwolfe are members of the gay sc2 population, share pretty similar views, and AREN'T the same person. >.>
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EPT
