Don't post in this thread to say "gay gamers are like everyone else, why do they have a special thread?" It is something that has been posted numerous times, and this isn't the place for that discussion.
On October 02 2012 01:59 Silverfoxx wrote: It's gotta be somewhat confusing that both Silverfoxx and Silverwolfe are members of the gay sc2 population, share pretty similar views, and AREN'T the same person. >.>
Just admit you forgot to log out of your second account when makin' that post! j/k
On October 01 2012 11:13 Dracolich70 wrote: I hope people aren't offended by this, but I have always wondered why gay people have such a need to "jump out", and tell the world their sexual orientation, all the while wanting to be accepted for whom they are as persons. It seems so counter-productive to me, and makes me think they define themselves by their sexuality, while wanting to be addressed like anyone else.
I am not provoked by one being gay, transsexual, transgender or what not - nor do I feel they should be ashamed; love comes in all shapes and forms, identity too. We all want girls to be accepted as gamers as well as equals, and not sexual objects, so why the need to making this approach?
I could understand it in the 80s, when the ice needed some breaking instead of being swept under the rug, but today? Not at all. People have all kinds of sexual orientations, and have since the dawn of times, and is something private.
This question isn't related to this thread, but in general.
Because invisibility and the lack of education contributing to that invisibility is a huge obstacle towards mainstream acceptance.
Let us take a rudimentary example: If you want to talk in terms of girls in this community (since you brought it up), realize that there are probably way more girls than you think on this site and that many of them just skate by "invisible," because they don't wish to be treated differently or seen as attention whores. (I know I have been surprised quite a few times learning that some regular posters are actually female.) At the same time though, does having them stay "invisible" and quiet really help people start to perceive girls in the gaming community as gamers and equals and not as sexual objects (or attention whores)? Obviously not. Sometimes you just need to raise a ruckus and let people know you exist before anything resembling change and acceptance will happen.
You see someone on the street. After taking in all physical features, you immediately assume that this person is sexual, cis, and straight; that is considered the "default," and there is no reason to believe otherwise until you are shown evidence to the contrary. This is an issue, because so long as you have a "normal default," you have people proclaiming that anything that is not "normal" must be "abnormal." The goal is to get to the point that not only does everyone have equal rights regardless of sexual orientation, sex, gender, color, etc., but also that it's no longer perceived as strange to learn that, hey, this dude I just met two days ago is gay (or alternatively, for that "revelation" to be as normal as learning that he is straight), and for LGBTQ members to not have to feel as if they're hiding for fear of having to deal with heavy consequences. And because sexual orientation can't be made out just by looking at someone, this shift ultimately needs to start with heavy exposure to let people know that LGBTQ people actually exist and probably live right down the street from you, thank you very much.
Not sure if this clarifies anything, but I gave it a go. It is hard to explain to some why "invisibility" is actually a huge issue. (See Korea and homosexuality, where up until recently, a lot of people didn't think it even existed and thus made it a "non-issue," which would be fine if ... homosexuality didn't actually exist, but it does, so a non-issue in this case becomes an issue.)
Thanks for asking Dracolich, I think that question is an important one to address since it comes up pretty often I find. I really like Babylon's answer to this. I still sometimes struggle with this issue because I'm gay, but nobody would ever know if I never said anything. My closest friends didn't even know for years. Now that I'm out, I act no differently than before; I'm not even close to what the stereotype is, and I think that's what gets a lot of attention. Even for me, the gay community seems really over the top and somewhat unattractive to be honest. I don't hold any prejudices, I just don't find flamboyancy to be sexually attractive in any way. The downside to this is exactly what Babylon explained. Nobody knows I'm gay when they meet me, and often times vice versa. For all I know, I could've passed up hundreds of relationship opportunities because you assume everybody you meet is straight.
I do wish some people would tone it down a little sometimes, but like I said, I just don't let it bother me. The only time it becomes an issue is if you try to go to the bars or something and that's the only type of person you meet. Then I start going "well fuck, am I the only one who doesn't like wearing pink jeans?" But I can assure you that there is quite a variety of gay people out there.
With respect to the first reason listed by Mora for this thread... looking for gay-friendly (sexuality or gender irrelevant, politics and culture are not) 2's partners with mumble. I'm low diamond, and I want anyone of any skill, for "best effort, but otherwise casual" twos. MSG me and I'll send char + code.
On October 04 2012 09:28 agitprop wrote: With respect to the first reason listed by Mora for this thread... looking for gay-friendly (sexuality or gender irrelevant, politics and culture are not) 2's partners with mumble. I'm low diamond, and I want anyone of any skill, for "best effort, but otherwise casual" twos. MSG me and I'll send char + code.
Agit
You should check out the chat channel #gteamliquid on irc. If you don't have an irc client, you can just use your browser:
On October 01 2012 11:13 Dracolich70 wrote: I hope people aren't offended by this, but I have always wondered why gay people have such a need to "jump out", and tell the world their sexual orientation, all the while wanting to be accepted for whom they are as persons. It seems so counter-productive to me, and makes me think they define themselves by their sexuality, while wanting to be addressed like anyone else.
I am not provoked by one being gay, transsexual, transgender or what not - nor do I feel they should be ashamed; love comes in all shapes and forms, identity too. We all want girls to be accepted as gamers as well as equals, and not sexual objects, so why the need to making this approach?
I could understand it in the 80s, when the ice needed some breaking instead of being swept under the rug, but today? Not at all. People have all kinds of sexual orientations, and have since the dawn of times, and is something private.
This question isn't related to this thread, but in general.
"Flamers" define a very small community of the gay population. Not every gay guy goes wavin' his sexuality around, nor does every lesbian. Some do because they feel it defines them better as a person. Even before I came to my revelation that I am trans*, I did not feel the need to go shout at the world that I am bi. If people asked or wondered I'd give them an honest answer, but I keep my sexual preferences to myself unless I'm in a relationship and just like straight people, I'll show off whoever I'm with. The social norm is "everyone is straight, homosexuality is wrong" so anythin' nonstraight automatically appears as shovin' "our" views upon you but in reality its just what society WANTS you to believe thus skewin' judgement. And yes, there are straight equivalents to "flamers" but you probably don't think two thoughts about them because "straight is normal". One of my friends, a straight male, loves goin' down the hall way yellin' "I LOVE BOOBIES!" and no one confronts him actin' like he's "forcin' his views onto them". Callin' out someone for bein' a flamer is a much more subtle way of showin' homophobia compared to just out right sayin' "You're a faggot therefore I hate you."
I am not thinking about the ones that answers questions about their sexual orientation, and people like you who behave like most, but the vocal ones. It is hard for me to explain exactly what I mean.
It is like some have the priority that they want to be accepted outside their sexual orientation, but use their sexual preference to do this first. First they do not want the sexual orientation to be of importance for acceptance and somehow they still do. It is kind of two-folded, and seem to work against what they say they want; accept me for my persona, not my sexuality - as I am no better or worse than you, no matter my sexual orientation. If you feel love is of the most importance, and what kind of gender your preference is not important, then should not be of importance to parade. Otherwise it kind of works against what is being said. Most prefer and are protective of their own preference group, whether it being sexual orientation, ethnicity, political party, game, genre, religion, sports club, etc etc etc etc.
People do not have to consider their view on the given sexual orientation to evaluate if they like someone or not. Why is it important if people accept the sexual orientation or not, and why isn't it private business?
I would feel the same if someone wanted to present themselves, as I am xxxx, and I am hetero sexual[or insert any other kind]. Or I am xxx and I am a gamer. Being a gamer is not my persona, but just a part of me, and only of relevance in a certain context, where gaming is involved. Both would seem like a free-pass to be accepted on the persona part. People would not have to accept gaming to accept my persona. Just like all the "Nerd" movies, back when it was something most did not understand(I am from that age, when many frowned upon gaming or being a nerd - and I was a rare species in my own surroundings). I felt no shame either for being what I am, but did not feel the need for people to accept it to accept my persona.
It is like some need to have others to accept their sexual orientation so they can accept it themselves. Acceptance always starts with one self.
I am not really touching the subject of "I love boobies" or "I love cock", but people wanting to be accepted on their sexual orientation - whether hetero/animal/SM/homo/incest to be accepted for their persona. People would not have to identify with neither to like the person or disliking them. If I should touch that subject, I bet your friend would be frowned upon if he did so in gay circles, and would most definitively find it provocative, they would also if he said, "you must be hetero phobic". In most circles - most would think he was a juvenile simpleton, even though they love boobies themselves. A girl screaming "I love the cock" in lesbian circles would be considered provocative as well, while screaming "I love the pussy" would not so much.
It seems like a some safety net for the persona. "The reason you do not like me, is because of my sexual orientation". I am certain that many have problems with different sexual orientations, but most people are enlightened now-a-days, and it is not really important out of context. It is like addressing things that were addressed 30 years ago. And today is is no longer anything out of the ordinary. Most people accept, not that I see it of importance really, as it is a private matter, what you do in the bedchamber - unless people asks because they are curious, and the person wants to answer. You seem to feel the same way considering what you have posted around everything, and therefore you must share that shoving your sexual preference in public is not that odd that some get provoked by - especially if you do not share it, nor feel that you should be forced to accept - such things can't be forced - some accept, other do not, but let it be their own choice. It is not really on a need-to-know basis either. I accept it, because I am such a person, not because I am forced. I chose watching Boys don't cry and The crying game on my own accord. Shoving "Phobia" is bullying. The thought of a cock up ones own ass, is of course not something a straight guy or lesbian, finds appealing, else (s)he would probably try it. Most now-a-days can accept that others differ from themselves, and do not feel the need to bully, as they are enlightened. This should go both ways(or multiple).
What if someone doesn't except my race and generalizes it to shit but still "likes" some of parts about me? Should I just accept that relationship because he only rejected a "piece" of my persona, even if that piece is integral to myself. To most gay people their sexuality is a huge part of who they are, regardless of whether or not they where it on their sleeves or not.
What signs do gay people look for on other men, before asking him if he really is? Or is the question avoided altogether?
I find that I avoid the question altogether. Unless you hear it from somebody else or have some evidence for it, its really hard to know for sure. Generally I think you have to meet people in situations where you each know the other is gay (gay bar for example or grindr phone app). I would hate to ask somebody and be wrong because they might get pissed lol. That's just me though, I'm sure there's someone out there who asks anyway.
I have to say my views on gays have taken a dramatic turn in the past few years, not that I ever hated them, but I was always had a tendency to not be very comfortable around gay people (mostly gay men). Just recently a very close person to my fiance just bailed us out and basically saved me from getting in a lot of financial trouble. We were on the verge of losing our car and I'm still struggling to find work. I found out after he helped us that he was gay and I was very humbled by his good deed. Nobody from my family would help us and this man did out of the kindness of his heart. He is not the only gay person that I have met that was just very nice and fun to be around either. I am very happy to say that I am not only more comfortable around gay people, but I am much more accepting of them and have realized that people need to really get their heads out of their asses and start tolerating and stop hating.
so, I do want to actually connect with you guys again but i've been so incredibly busy. :c
I have no stories about gayness except for a bi person actually made a joke about me not wanting to use a pink lighter to light a chafing gel because i'd be less manly, which made me very confused.
In other news though, the korean association at my school put on an AMAZING dinner, and I met both Takamura Hamono, one of if not THE worlds leading knife makers, and gave my resume to essentially a random guy who said hey, you're doing something interesting and since I know you have to do an externship if you would like I'll see what I can do. Handed him said resume. Apparently he's Top Chef winner Hung Hyunh and he works at a very nice restaurant called catch in the city.
SMALL WORLD!
Also, I miss you all but there is just SOOOO much cooking shit to be done and I wanted to let you all know I haven't forgotten about this place and I do still exist and i'll try to keep on existing but it will most likely be once i get out of fundamentals because then all the stupid classes with lots of extra outside work get done.
UNTIL THEN THOUGH, look forward to SOME kind of blog post in the future and amazing stories and talks about food and lots and lots and LOOOOOOTS of food porn in the future!
Yes, i'm typing quickly and it's supposed to be kind of an exasperated thing because now I must go off and run somewhere else and do something related to school and/or sleep. NIGHT! <3
On October 07 2012 09:05 Incomplet wrote: What signs do gay people look for on other men, before asking him if he really is? Or is the question avoided altogether?
It's actually really hard to tell what it is that lets me know someone isn't straight - unless it's a 'flaming faggot' of course. It's very subtle things, the way he moves his body, how he responds to your actions etc. It's hard to pick just one thing and say "that's it, he's gay". I can't really describe it.. Like, I've been out with a friend's friend of mine 2 times and barely even talked to him and knew he was bi. So one day I said to my friend "hey, your friend's bi" (both of em male btw) and he's like "nah, he's not" - and he's known him for like 10 years. Turns out I was right of course. I'm bisexual myself and people that aren't straight too can tell when they hang with me (I don't understand how, though), my straight friends didn't know for shit until I told 'em. It's like bis/gays develop a 6th sense for that kind of shit. I mean it's easier to tell who's gay because most of the time they try to associate with the gay community and act in a certain way, but bisexuals tend to be pretty straight in their actions. And yea, I'd just ask. I did it too and it didn't turn out bad at all. Actually I was pretty pissed (but still relieved) when I told him that I was bi and shit and asked him if he was too and he's like "yea I am, I knew you were too", so why not just ask straight away and save yourself some time there. >2012 >not being bisexual shiggy
You can't tell if someone is gay by how they talk or move. Masculine and feminine motions are visible, but that does not equate to sexuality, it often varies culturally. The way I know is by the eyes. You do the thing where you glance at a stranger while they're glancing at you, then you move your eyes away, then move them back and stare. If they do the same, they're probably gay.
It's way easier though if you're wearing a rainbow bracelet or rainbow earrings or something else overt.
Look at yourself, how do you show that you're heterosexual?
Think of it this way: How do you tell if someone is interested in you? It's all about their body language, how they act around you and suchlike. Telling if someone is gay isn't really possible without them overtly indicating it, but what you get used to is learning what they do that shows interest in you, so that you feel more free to indicate your own attractedness more overtly.
On October 12 2012 07:40 VTJRaen wrote: Look at yourself, how do you show that you're heterosexual?
Think of it this way: How do you tell if someone is interested in you? It's all about their body language, how they act around you and suchlike. Telling if someone is gay isn't really possible without them overtly indicating it, but what you get used to is learning what they do that shows interest in you, so that you feel more free to indicate your own attractedness more overtly.
Cracked is a funny site, but don't rely on them for consistent accuracy. They often twist facts, use outdated or debunked information, etc to comedic effect. They're humor, not news.