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i'm not schizo
 isclaimer*Okay, a user on TLnet PM'd me asked me to post this because his parents and teachers know his ID on teamliquid.net and would probably kill him if they knew about this. isclaimer*
I've got a pretty interesting story to tell you guys. It starts out with subject pointed to by the topic title, and that acts as a catalyst for the rest of the story I want to tell you (in future posts). First things first: who am I? I'm an 18 year old toss player from America. On TL.net, I'm a regular poster. I came to this site in 2002, registered in 2003, and have posted consistently ever since. I'm not trying to hide my identity from you fine fellows, but I don't want my parents to be able to google this post, so I'd rather not have my nickname attached to this thread in any way. You may be able to guess who I am (in fact, if you read TL.net regularly I'm sure you will), if you know, please don't post it in this thread.
So I go to a psychiatrist. She's very cute (a she obviously). Probably in her late twenties; certainly not her late thirties, I can say that for sure. I like her immediately. I'm not going to make any moves; I'm no fool. She wants me to like her. But that won't stop me from acting nicer to her than I would otherwise. Before I tell her how I'm feeling, she tells me I'm the first patient of her second year of psychiatristing. Cool.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. I was sent to this shrink (I need to abbreviate psychiatrist, I can barely spell it) by a doctor. This is how it worked for me: one appointment was guaranteed, more if the shrink thought I needed it. Doctor told me not to be shy and tell her exactly how I was feeling.
How was I feeling. Yeah, you'll be able to guess who I am. Forget about it, man. I told her (prefixing it by saying: "I'm not crazy!"), it wasn't that I was afraid people could hear my thoughts, I was afraid I would vocalize my thoughts without knowing it, so I constantly whistled, hummed, and mumbled to myself. I told her sometimes I would (and I don't know how to be explain this to someone who hasn't experienced it) lose myself in myself; that is, I'd stop thinking (or maybe think about something and forget about it later), and sort of freeze where I stood, often in the strangest positions. I told her when I was alone I would speak to myself without wanting to speak to myself. And I told her a bunch more. Shrink says (as you might suspect) come see me twice more this week.
Like I said, I like this shrink, and truth is, I think she likes me too. Again, I've got no shot, and even though she's not very professional, I know she'd never make a move on me, but I know she likes me. We joke around most of the time (first time I saw her was one hour -- second time three hours -- third time maybe four), she tells me it's sad that she can spend so much time doing nothing because she doesn't get many referalls. Apparently referalls are big for shrinks, and since she's not getting them, she's not doing good. I agree that's it's unfair, we bitch together, and generally joke around after she ask about my "symptoms" for the first half hour of our meetings. After the third meeting, she tells me it may be a dissassociative disorder, or ADHD, or both. But they need to rule out some medical causes at this point. My old doctor won't be able to do the tests, so I'm sent to a new one.
I get a bunch of xrays on head. They take some of my blood. Hell, I even have a fun time doing a stress test (running up an incline). Gosu. I'm damn nervous. I don't really know why. I guess like most people, I prefer ignorance of an incurable disease over knowledge of it. Doc exacerbates the situation by telling me it will be several weeks before I get the results. Lot of worry for nothing; I get the results almost immediately; all tests negative!
Doc sends me back to the shrink. His guess is ADHD (very trendy I supposes, they kept trying to tell me I had that despite the fact I told them that while I didn't like to focus, I could focus and did so well when taking tests for example). I'm happy to go back; I have a great time with the lady. She's not happy to see me though. She looks scared when I come back in. I'm in a good mood though, laughing about how it's a miracle I don't have AIDS (I say "I'm so good-looking girls off the street just jump me"). But all she wants to talk about is my symptoms. I repeat 'em. Nothing has changed. She tells me to come back.
Days go by, I'm seeing her four times a week now (almost any time I want; her schedule is basically free!). I tell my parents she's trying to teach me how deal with ADHD without medication. They hate medication, so they're happy to send me off to them. I'm pissed though; we don't joke around any more. One beautiful day she tells me she needs to talk to my family, friends, anybody that knows me. And she needs my parents to better explain my family history (oh this little things turns out to be so important!). I tell her straight up no. I'm a private person, and fuck, I'm embarrassed about going to shrink.
Then she hits me with it: She thinks I have schizophrenia. She shouldn't be telling me this, though. My delusions aren't frequent or intense enough to be positive. And there's a whole protocol for diagnosing a patient with schizophrenia. Usually it takes months, with tons of consultation with family and friend. But she's breaking the rules (I told you she liked me!).
I'm still not letting her consult with my family, so what does the kind lady do? She gives me some medication. She tells me that some psychiatrists believe that a ton of the damage done to people who have schizophrenia occurs when they have those first few intense delusions. She can't prescribe me the meds yet, but she doesn't want me to suffer. She warns me pretty sternly about taking the meds capriciously, though. Oh yeah, she also tells me to stay with other people constantly.
How do I feel about this? Not great. Apparently if you're schizo you get more and more schizo over time. "Degenerative." If there's not a cure found, I'm going to go insane by the time I'm seventy. And a cure is not in sight. In fact, for a cure to be found would require a quantum leap in medical science. Even magical stem cells aren't too promising. Still, surprisingly, I'm not overly worried; medicine was really shitty in the 1950's. I'll get my quantum leap. I'm really sure about this.
Any ways, she still wants a family history. Mine is "not complete." What does that mean? "Not complete?" Well google my last name and fill out it. Apparently that's not sufficient. She writes a note and tells me to give it to my parents. And I quote "please send me blank's complete family history." And soon the fun begins!!!
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wow, interesting story.
Do YOU think you're schizo??
edit: bah, forgot the poster can't answer. Well, just curious if OP has ever kind of ...like...thought "hey, maybe my constant fidgeting and talking to myself isn't normal"
it's probably a mild case though, if you haven't seriously questioned it.
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thanks for posting my story.
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I don't see how this hides your identity though.
Doesn't sound like schizophrenia to me, but then again I don't have any qualifications.
I have a personality disorder of some sorts, it doesn't affect me much though.
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is pressure one of your several personas?
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If it really is schizophrenia then good luck and make sure to take your meds. I had a grandma who was schizo and she refused to take her meds and she died bat shit crazy. Regardless, best of luck with all.
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Nice read, but how exactly do you feel when you have schizo right now? is it only freezing up and talking to yourself or is there more?
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is awesome32274 Posts
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On June 14 2007 11:35 Never Post wrote:
I don't see how this hides your identity though.
His parents know his online alias, and if they were to google it, TL would be one of the first things returned.
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is awesome32274 Posts
Hes not being honest, if i was him for example he could just link an image with his name on it or write it like this:
1nt0th3w0w.
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Why would they kill him? I guess the rest of the story will explain better
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Man I used to talk to myself all the time (still do talk to myself quite a bit actually, in times of stress and shit) and I fidget sometimes as well...maybe I'm schizophrenic as well... T_T
Anyway, have you ever thought that maybe she's [the shrink] making this shit up to get more money? I mean, it would be really really evil and nasty, but if she's not doing well...
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schizoprenia doesn't just come with delusions. if your schizoprenic, you wouldn't even be able to type that paragraph or your story without it seeming like completle bullshit. My guess is the delusions come from some kind of chemical imbalance but your still pretty sane to me so some pills might help you
edit: well it might be now that i think of it because it gets worse and worse. but i doubt it. schizophrenia is also a genetic disorder
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The problem with todays drugs is that they all have side effects that inturn requires you to take more drugs on top of them to reduce the main drugs side effects, then those ones have side effects etc. You get the idea?
This is why most people refuse to take the drugs. Its like yea I'm feeling much more sane but now my life sucks I'm tired, can't drive anywhere (cause you're on drugs that say no driving), not hungry losing weight, can't get a boner, and other bullshit.
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I'd definately see a more experienced psychiatrist to see if he/she comes to the same conclusion... sounds like there is a reason she has so few referrals.
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On June 14 2007 11:40 decafchicken wrote:Show nested quote +On June 14 2007 11:35 Never Post wrote:
I don't see how this hides your identity though. His parents know his online alias, and if they were to google it, TL would be one of the first things returned.
yea but all they have to do is go to TL.net and look up this "Schizophrenia thread.
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what are the symptoms you are refering to?
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is awesome32274 Posts
Well if its not Moltke then it could be Zia....
OR STIMEY
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On June 14 2007 11:49 CharlieMurphy wrote:Show nested quote +On June 14 2007 11:40 decafchicken wrote:On June 14 2007 11:35 Never Post wrote:
I don't see how this hides your identity though. His parents know his online alias, and if they were to google it, TL would be one of the first things returned. yea but all they have to do is go to TL.net and look up this "PSYCHOZOFrenia thread.
Assuming his parents arent too observational and he keeps his history clean, they wont know to come here.
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now I'm just really curious to who this actually is xD
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this story sounds weird.... wtf does the "my shrink is cute and I like her and I think she likes me too" have anything to do with anything you were talking about -_- ;
and why would someones parents randomly google their sons tl.net name "oh boy let's see what jimmy posted on TL today!" or maybe they will be reading proleague results and stumble on his post, dun dun dun.
18 year old toss from usa can mean any of hundreds of people btw =o
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he sounds really lonely assuming his shrink has a thing for him.
who's lonely on tl?
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Maybe its me, or you, or you inside of me being yourself of myself, or him...
But yea, I agree this sounds like bullshit or really exaggerated based on a true story.
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On June :35 dementus wrote:
is pressure one of your several personas?
look at my join date
im not 18
i dont play toss
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18 year old toss from usa can mean any of hundreds of people btw =o I think that's the idea. 
I'm wondering if the note actually mentions the suspicion of schizophrenia or merely requests the family history. It would naturally be very bad for both the person in question and his psychiatrist if it was learned he was taking medication prematurely from a post on an Internet forum; I doubt that's the case but I think it's a possibility until some clarification or update is presented.
Edit: Hes not being honest, if i was him for example he could just link an image with his name on it or write it like this:
1nt0th3w0w. Someone could easily post it or mentions the person in question directly, wrecking the anonymity to Google or TL.net searches.
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Not Moltke. Please don\'t guess names.
All right, in retrospect it was pretty obvious. I\'m not like my brothers and sisters. I\'m the only one with blonde hair. I\'m the only one with blue eyes. My normal body weight is well over two hundred pounds, while they weigh about one seventy. I\'ve always been faster and stronger. Now I can beat any of them up but even at twelve the only one who could take me on was my oldest brother. Even mentally we were different. They all have amazing memories. Mine is shit. But I\'m much better at math and puzzles.
So I ask my parents for the fucking family history. By now I guess what\'s up. But I don\'t want them to know I know. I ask them quickly, then ask for the something to eat. I pretend not to care. They\'re not going to make it easy on me though (to find out for sure). The next day they tell me they sent it straight to the shrink. I don\'t want to want to sound too interested so I don\'t complain, but I\'m fucking pissed.
But I know I\'m schizo. So who are my real parents? That\'s what I\'m thinking. This is all too fucking weird. Then I remember my aunt. My dad mentioned her to me in passing a while ago. She had schizophrenia. I never met her. She lived in my dad\'s old country. When he mentioned her to me it was to tell me she was dead. You know what he said? Don\'t eat sugary cereals (I was eating fruit loops) because it\'s proven they can affect your brain and you don\'t want to end like her. I laugh him off. I\'m ten and I love fruit loops. Fuck him talking about fruit loops.
So I google her name. Nada. But I stumble upon a person finding website. It cost money. I want to fucking know so I use my parents credit card. I tell them I need it for a school project, and that it didn\'t cost anything (I know I could\'ve found a free site, but I was in no mood to search). Mom was pissed when it showed up on mastercard.
Site gives me some info in a language I don\'t understand. I try babelfish, fucking useless. But I have her name: Maria. I\'m stuck at that though.
So one day I\'m taking a jog and I walk by a police station. I just walk in. Never been in a police station before. Was weird. I just walked in, explained my situation to some woman, and asked her for some advice on what to do. She said to check the psych ward records of the people in my dad\'s home country. I have no fucking clue how to do this. But I know a priest who speaks the language, and has plenty of roots back home. I ask him to help me, and like a good priest he does! His sister\'s husband is a cop back home. I give the priest my email and tell him to tell the cop to email me with any info.
Two days go by and I get the email. I knew that fucking backwards country didn\'t have any crime to worry about. I\'m shocked that they just send me police reports and psych ward records. Maybe these things are public? Maybe rules are different there. Maria was crazy. Onset at 21. Family kept her until she was 25. Got involved in some crimes. Attacked people. Was institutionalized at 26. Got pregnant at 33. Nobody knows how. Never left the instituion. Probably some fucking wacko. She was kept in the schizo wing. Probably some schizo guy. She didn\'t have any complaints. Had the kid. Didn\'t give it a name. Docs called him \"Jahnes\" (to spell it as it sounds -- common name). Baby taken away. That\'s all I got.
Is it me? Until I ask my dad, I guess I don\'t know. I asked (thanks CSI!!!)if they had DNA on file, and if I could compare mine to that. They told me they didn\'t, and even if they did, they wouldn\'t have the equipment to do it.
If she was my mother, I wish I could\'ve met her. Pretty gay of me. I always wondered why the adopted bitches went to see their mothers. Always seemed like it would be unbelievably awkward. Just wanted to meet her. Gay. Wish I would've known earlier.
(Edit this into the main post with a break if you would, pressure)
Oh yeah: she died in a closet. Just got stuck in closet and dehydrated.
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On June 14 2007 11:47 tKd_ wrote:
if your schizoprenic, you wouldn't even be able to type that paragraph or your story without it seeming like completle bullshit.
Actually a number of schizophrenics make a living as successful writers, typing their lives away like a normal person - providing they're on meds. I'd assume schizophrenics come up with the best stories too. Some of the best songs and stories have come from people when they were high, and schizophrenia affects the same part of the brain as marijuana.
I used to think I had schizophrenia, turned out to just be depression.
I still remember when my doctor told me....
Doc: You have depression.
Me thinking: I don't feel depressed?
<Doc sees a confused look on my face>
Doc: You don't have to feel depressed to have depression.
Me: Then why the fuck is it called depression?
Seriously, call it something else then for christ sakes. 
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a good read, shame it's real though
to be honest man as soon as you start believing you're schizo then its just gonna get worse. You fall into a kind of helpless "zz i schizo" and just kind of fall into that role.
by the way the above is based on no actual factual evidence
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On June 14 2007 12:16 Laverick wrote:Show nested quote +On June 14 2007 11:47 tKd_ wrote:
if your schizoprenic, you wouldn't even be able to type that paragraph or your story without it seeming like completle bullshit. Actually a number of schizophrenics make a living as successful writers, typing their lives away like a normal person - providing they're on meds. I'd assume schizophrenics come up with the best stories too. Some of the best songs and stories have come from people when they were high, and schizophrenia affects the same part of the brain as marijuana. I used to think I had schizophrenia, turned out to just be depression. I still remember when my doctor told me.... Doc: You have depression. Me thinking: I don't feel depressed? <Doc sees a confused look on my face> Doc: You don't have to feel depressed to have depression. Me: Then why the fuck is it called depression? Seriously, call it something else then for christ sakes.
Oh yeah, I suppose I'm being a little premature saying I'm a schizo. I started feeling like I described in my first post a couple of years ago, and it's just gotten worse and worse. I don't feel bad or weird all the time. And shrink says I'll be fine without meds until... well until it gets worse. I used to feel fine almost every hour of the day, with maybe an "attack" or two. Now I feel "bad" at least once an hour, and my fag family keeps asking if I'm ok.
Havn't taken the meds yet. Shrink said it's like throwing spaghetti against the wall: it fucks up your whole brain in order to fuck up the thing causing the schizophrenia. Only going to take them if visual delusions get bad.
Oh yeah, shrink sending me to another shrink. Thank god I'm 18. If I don't let me family to confirm what my shrink says, apparently some concurrent opinions will do. Doc started talking to me about dealing with it. I really think I'm fucked here. Without a major attack in presence of third party, I won't be official and can't legally get meds, but everyone keeps telling me how to deal with it. I'm unofficial, and they actually have meds on hold for me (haha don't need them!)
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United States12235 Posts
Oh I know who this poster is. This is an interesting thread. I can't help you with schizophrenia but I can help you with a window back to reality - keep everything in perspective. You knowing you have schizophrenia doesn't help you, but at least when you catch yourself flipping out and acting irrationally you can explain to yourself it's just your condition. Stay relaxed. Look at all this nutso crap you're already doing, seeking out your "real birth mother" as though that would help - my sister is the only one in my family who has blonde hair and blue eyes but she's not adopted, and even if she were it wouldn't make a difference because we're her family. To cope with your condition you have to be able to put a lot of trust and faith in your family - before every decision you make, think "what would my mom/dad do?" and that will help you behave most rationally.
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Oh about the hair and eye colour, it can skip generations. So your parents not sharing your colour doesn't mean your adopted, it could mean you got it from one of your grandparents or great grandparents.
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poor guy 
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go to irc and lets chat it up un-anonymously =D (ie. tell us)
-edit-
nm, we know.
hope things dont get worse for you.. stay level headed.. and yea see another psychiatrist
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wow if this is all true, I would sell your story to Spielberg
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Beyonder
Netherlands15103 Posts
I'm digging this IP-check function.
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On June 14 2007 12:31 kidd wrote:
wow if this is all true, I would sell your story to Spielberg
I wouldn't, Spielberg fucks all the stories up in attempt to make them his own. Peter Jackson has a habit of keeping movies true to the original story, you could try him...but it might end up 12 hours long
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On June 14 2007 12:31 kidd wrote:
wow if this is all true, I would sell your story to Spielberg
Kid has schizophrenia. Awesome story.
May I ask for your advice? I had pretty big plans for my life. I am (was?) an overachiever academic wise. Should I keep going for it?
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Definitely.
Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars!!
Einstein himself had schizophrenic qualities, and look at how he ended up. Lincoln also showed signs of schizophrenia later in his life (or maybe it was his wife)
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Have you seen the movie " A beautiful mind" ?
You could relate to that... and maybe win a Nobel prize.
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On June 14 2007 12:38 MindCrusher wrote:
Have you seen the movie " A beautiful mind" ?
You could relate to that... and maybe win a Nobel prize.
lmao I was just going to edit my last post and say that...
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How does Schezo people behave?
One personality then BAM SWITCH another one?
O_o
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is awesome32274 Posts
There are lots of greath professionals that had problems like you.
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On June 14 2007 12:43 evanthebouncy! wrote:
How does Schezo people behave?
One personality then BAM SWITCH another one?
O_o
No, schizophrenics do not have dual personalities. That's a misconception in pop culture.
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[QUOTE]On June 14 2007 12:39 Laverick wrote:
[QUOTE]On June 14 2007 12:38 MindCrusher wrote:
Have you seen the movie " A beautiful mind" ?
You could relate to that... and maybe win a Nobel prize. [/QUOTE]
Or you could end up a loon like 'A Scanner Darkly'.
And schizophrenia is totally different than multiple personalty disorder, like he said.
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On June 14 2007 12:45 IntoTheWow wrote:
There are lots of greath professionals that had problems like you.
EX-Manchester United and USA keeper Tim Howard has Turrets.
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On June 14 2007 12:58 kidd wrote:Show nested quote +On June 14 2007 12:45 IntoTheWow wrote:
There are lots of greath professionals that had problems like you. EX-Manchester United and USA keeper Tim Howard has Turrets.
i think you mean tourette's syndrome.
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i'm glad you pointed that out, i'm sure not 1 person on this forum would have figured out what I meant in my post.
Thanks
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even if you were schizophrenic, it's easily treated.
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i wouldnt worry too much, im diagnosed with slight schizophrenia and manic depression. im only slight shiz. cus my symptoms are not as extreme as they could be, i tend to talk to myself alone but its somewhat more "controlled".
I can't say what happens to others as schizo, but for me, i tend to walk around in a daze early in the mornings, i would walk but im not even there, im somewhere else. If im alone, i tend to talk, and even sometimes argue with myself... sad really. :\ Anyways, like coag. said, i tend to freeze up usually also but for other reasons, sometimes my mind just draws and blank, a complete blank and i dont know what to do. but thats only a split second.
Fight the good fight brother!
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Beyonder
Netherlands15103 Posts
On June 14 2007 13:00 dementus wrote:Show nested quote +On June 14 2007 12:58 kidd wrote:On June 14 2007 12:45 IntoTheWow wrote:
There are lots of greath professionals that had problems like you. EX-Manchester United and USA keeper Tim Howard has Turrets. i think you mean tourette's syndrome.
Turrets
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
They shoot out of his ears. How crazy is that?
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is awesome32274 Posts
YOU CANT DROP TIM HOWARDS!!!!!
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lol tl's "[h] i have a problem" threads always suffer the same fate..
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On June 14 2007 13:01 kidd wrote:
i'm glad you pointed that out, i'm sure not 1 person on this forum would have figured out what I meant in my post.
Thanks
TURRETS!!!!!
edit: goddamn you bey -_-
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On June 14 2007 12:58 kidd wrote:Show nested quote +On June 14 2007 12:45 IntoTheWow wrote:
There are lots of greath professionals that had problems like you. EX-Manchester United and USA keeper Tim Howard has Turrets.
It's to stop the other team from harassing him
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Personally, I am terrified that I am going to develop schizophrenia ... I have a family history of it as my uncle is schizophrenic
I'm 19 right now and I have to make it till I'm 25 because apparently when you are twenty five you are pretty much out of the range for developement
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Who cares about your fears, now we're talking about Tim Howards and his Turrets! Plz dont hijack the thread
"They shoot out of his ears..." => GOLD
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i don't get why your terrified of schizophrenia, yea it might be unsettling, but you'll get used to it, if not used to it, stand it. if you need to talk about it, then pm me later
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All of you are dicks !!
edit: i guess it's a little funny though T_T
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Damn man, I hope you're just moving on the hot shrink and have been telling a bunch of lies...
I guess start researching about schizophrenia. You'll probly think you have all the symptoms at first, but everybody does that when they're looking up a disease they think they have.
It wouldn't be possession would it? You don't hear yourself talking in other languages do you, like dead languages you don't know? 
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huh, I talk to myself. I sometimes forget my surroundings. I always thought I was just different. Not that I was schizophrenic????
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On June 14 2007 14:11 .dragoon wrote:Damn man, I hope you're just moving on the hot shrink and have been telling a bunch of lies... I guess start researching about schizophrenia. You'll probly think you have all the symptoms at first, but everybody does that when they're looking up a disease they think they have. It wouldn't be possession would it? You don't hear yourself talking in other languages do you, like dead languages you don't know?
No, I just start talking to myself when and can't stop and can't control what I'm saying. This is pretty ridiculous maybe. Anyways, seeing new shrink, hope it's a she.
Trying to get the courage to ask my dad if I'm adopted.
Trying to get the courage to keep my plans and continue my education.
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what are you a secret agent? how many accounts lol
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On June 14 2007 14:25 Notmynick wrote:Show nested quote +On June 14 2007 14:11 .dragoon wrote:Damn man, I hope you're just moving on the hot shrink and have been telling a bunch of lies... I guess start researching about schizophrenia. You'll probly think you have all the symptoms at first, but everybody does that when they're looking up a disease they think they have. It wouldn't be possession would it? You don't hear yourself talking in other languages do you, like dead languages you don't know? No, I just start talking to myself when and can't stop and can't control what I'm saying. This is pretty ridiculous maybe. Anyways, seeing new shrink, hope it's a she. Trying to get the courage to ask my dad if I'm adopted. Trying to get the courage to keep my plans and continue my education.
Keep on going and don´t turn away from the people who like you. Otherwise it will only worsen. I wish you all the best!
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Some of your responses are absolutely assholish and moronic. I am so impressed at the OP for being able to be honest about this in front of an internet forum and keep his calm. I would be flipping out by now.
To OP: I still can't place who you are, but know that you have my deepest empathy and support. Also, don't let this stop you: the science of the human brain isn't completely known yet, and even if all the direst predictions are true, you are still young, and this should only inspire you to strive even harder to attain your goals in the time you have. If this saps you of your will, energy, and vision, then that would be the greatest toll the condition can have upon you.
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On June 14 2007 11:48 Wysp wrote:
I'd definately see a more experienced psychiatrist to see if he/she comes to the same conclusion... sounds like there is a reason she has so few referrals.
ditto. there might be a good reason why she doesn't get many referrals and the fact that she was disturbed by seeing you again looks like something went wrong for her. IMO the problem here is not really you but a bad diagnosis (and that is quite usual unfortunately).
Can't say anything on the rest..
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<fanta[Rn]> who is shizo-guy? :o
<fanta[Rn]> please?
<fanta[Rn]> >.< why won't you tell me?
<fanta[Rn]> IS IT ME?!!!!
<mnm> yup
<fanta[Rn]> O_O
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Dude, I doubt you'll have any problems with schizophrenia, but you definitely are insane if you think a sexy psychiatrist has the hots for you.
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Someone PM Me who this is PLZ.. i hate feeling left out of the loop..
ITS EVAN ISNT IT..
i seen that little video he made.. Kids clearly gone bannanas.
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Having one or even just a few symptoms of schizophrenia does not by any means a diagnosis make. I certainly don't know enough about your case to make any educated guess either way, but definitely seek multiple opinions and try to find at least one psychiatrist that you really trust. You can have some very odd symptoms that are symptoms of schizophrenia, but you pretty much need all of them to be diagnosed as schizophrenic. I'll be praying for you 
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On June 14 2007 15:49 Coagulation wrote:
Someone PM Me who this is PLZ.. i hate feeling left out of the loop..
ITS EVAN ISNT IT.. mnm said it's me... I don't trust her though.
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i hope this isnt one of those things where it turns out the tlbot has a penis or something.
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On June 14 2007 15:50 Dark_Oppressor wrote:but you pretty much need all of them to be diagnosed as schizophrenic. I'll be praying for you
Not really...
To be diagnosed with schizophrenia you need:
-Two of the these symptoms:
--delusions
--hallucinations
--disorganized speech
--grossly disorganized behaviour
--negative symptoms (lack of motivation, decline in speech, lack of emotions)
-To be seriously lacking in some sort of social behaviour. This could be anything from extreme shyness to extremely poor hygiene (not taking care of your teeth or bathing etc). There must be continuous signs for six months, with at least one month of disturbance.
Also, only one symptom is required if delusions are bizarre or hallucinations consist of hearing one voice participating in a running commentary of the patient's actions or of hearing two or more voices conversing with each other.
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Wesley Willis was a paranoid schitzophrenic and he still ruled.
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On June 14 2007 16:00 Laverick wrote:
Not really...
Well, that's what my shrink told me! Er, I read it. On the internet.
Seriously though, I could've sworn it was more than only two symptoms you needed to be diagnosed, but then again, it's been a while since I thought about it, heh. I didn't mention the exceptions since he didn't seem to mention them.
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Wow cool!!! a schizo, just like Jim Carrey in "Me, Myself, & Irene"
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On June 14 2007 16:24 thoraxe wrote:
Wow cool!!! a schizo, just like Jim Carrey in "Me, Myself, & Irene"
DO IT REK DO IT
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since psychiatrists supposedly aren't supposed to officially diagnose you or warn you that they're suspecting and trying to, for a long period of time during which they look for confirmations from people who know you if not other doctors, maybe among other things? , maybe trying to diagnose yourself with it is not the best idea in any case.
but surely laverick here's deffinitions fits me. i did have a period of some real psychological troubledness that i only told a couple people about. but i'm better than i was leading up to that i mostly think. though not clean of my problems yet. anyway i figure if i have problems and am not able to solve them myself like i hope to they'll get worse and in time i'll probably end up in front of a psychiatrist anyway, hopefully before i hurt someone. i am not too worried....
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is it n0 kn33?
i dunno hes first person that comes to mind when i think of a toss player
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On June 14 2007 11:47 tKd_ wrote:
schizoprenia doesn't just come with delusions. if your schizoprenic, you wouldn't even be able to type that paragraph or your story without it seeming like completle bullshit. My guess is the delusions come from some kind of chemical imbalance but your still pretty sane to me so some pills might help you
edit: well it might be now that i think of it because it gets worse and worse. but i doubt it. schizophrenia is also a genetic disorder
You sir, don't have any clue what you're talking about. Schizophrenia encompasses a huge range of disorders, ranging from mild cases where you wouldn't know if you weren't good friends to cases where anyone within 20 feet of the guy can tell.
Just from the symptoms in the story though, sounds like a huge overreaction by the psychiatrist. I stop thinking entirely and freeze up in whatever position I happen to be in at the time every now and then. Whenever I'm alone I verbalize almost of my thoughts to myself, even when I don't want to. But there's no way in hell I have schizophrenia.
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u ain't a fucking schizo. If you are, then I'm a fucking serial killer.
Doc says I had schizo, took meds, had huge huge side effects that I may never recover from.
TURNS OUT I FUCKING HAVE SOME FUCKING CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME. NICE GOING DOC, NICE FUCKING GOING.
Half a century ago, they thought drilling a fucking hole through your skull would solve your mental disorders. A few years ago, they believed homosexuality was a mental disorder. Now they come with this theory on chemical imbalances without any real method other than deductions and reading off descriptions from a fucking textbook. I am extremely skeptical about such a relatively "new" field in the medical world. I feel like a victim, I'm no longer the fucking same person I am now. I can't think properly, I can't trust myself, and I make people laugh at me for all the fucking wrong reasons. Those fucking doctors smile and look down on me as a lab rat, toss me out as expendable trial and error experiments. Been called a person of inferior intellect. I can take that. Been called a an Asian mime. Can take that. Being called a laughable excuse of a human being? I'll fuck you up.
Funny, and I JUST got back to this forum to see this lovely thread.
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United States12235 Posts
On June 14 2007 17:00 QuietIdiot wrote:
u ain't a fucking schizo. If you are, then I'm a fucking serial killer.
Doc says I had schizo, took meds, had huge huge side effects that I may never recover from.
TURNS OUT I FUCKING HAVE SOME FUCKING CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME. NICE GOING DOC, NICE FUCKING GOING.
Half a century ago, they thought drilling a fucking hole through your skull would solve your mental disorders. A few years ago, they believed homosexuality was a mental disorder. Now they come with this theory on chemical imbalances without any real method other than deductions and reading off descriptions from a fucking textbook. I am extremely skeptical about such a relatively "new" field in the medical world. I feel like a victim, I'm no longer the fucking same person I am now. I can't think properly, I can't trust myself, and I make people laugh at me for all the fucking wrong reasons. Those fucking doctors smile and look down on me as a lab rat, toss me out as expendable trial and error experiments. Been called a person of inferior intellect. I can take that. Been called a an Asian mime. Can take that. Being called a laughable excuse of a human being? I'll fuck you up.
Funny, and I JUST got back to this forum to see this lovely thread.
Oh guess I don't know who the mystery poster is then.
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On June 14 2007 17:13 Excalibur_Z wrote:Show nested quote +On June 14 2007 17:00 QuietIdiot wrote:
u ain't a fucking schizo. If you are, then I'm a fucking serial killer.
Doc says I had schizo, took meds, had huge huge side effects that I may never recover from.
TURNS OUT I FUCKING HAVE SOME FUCKING CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME. NICE GOING DOC, NICE FUCKING GOING.
Half a century ago, they thought drilling a fucking hole through your skull would solve your mental disorders. A few years ago, they believed homosexuality was a mental disorder. Now they come with this theory on chemical imbalances without any real method other than deductions and reading off descriptions from a fucking textbook. I am extremely skeptical about such a relatively "new" field in the medical world. I feel like a victim, I'm no longer the fucking same person I am now. I can't think properly, I can't trust myself, and I make people laugh at me for all the fucking wrong reasons. Those fucking doctors smile and look down on me as a lab rat, toss me out as expendable trial and error experiments. Been called a person of inferior intellect. I can take that. Been called a an Asian mime. Can take that. Being called a laughable excuse of a human being? I'll fuck you up.
Funny, and I JUST got back to this forum to see this lovely thread. Oh guess I don't know who the mystery poster is then.
yep, he was my guess too lol
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Hey, instead of going to the cops for records and freaking yourself out thinking your mother was a crazy lady who died in the closet of a mental institution, why not ask your parents? Thats the first thing I would have done.
Wouldnt it be funny if you werent a schiz and you parents were really your parents and this shrink just got you freak out for no good reason?
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On June 14 2007 17:15 gameguard wrote:Show nested quote +On June 14 2007 17:13 Excalibur_Z wrote:On June 14 2007 17:00 QuietIdiot wrote:
u ain't a fucking schizo. If you are, then I'm a fucking serial killer.
Doc says I had schizo, took meds, had huge huge side effects that I may never recover from.
TURNS OUT I FUCKING HAVE SOME FUCKING CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME. NICE GOING DOC, NICE FUCKING GOING.
Half a century ago, they thought drilling a fucking hole through your skull would solve your mental disorders. A few years ago, they believed homosexuality was a mental disorder. Now they come with this theory on chemical imbalances without any real method other than deductions and reading off descriptions from a fucking textbook. I am extremely skeptical about such a relatively "new" field in the medical world. I feel like a victim, I'm no longer the fucking same person I am now. I can't think properly, I can't trust myself, and I make people laugh at me for all the fucking wrong reasons. Those fucking doctors smile and look down on me as a lab rat, toss me out as expendable trial and error experiments. Been called a person of inferior intellect. I can take that. Been called a an Asian mime. Can take that. Being called a laughable excuse of a human being? I'll fuck you up.
Funny, and I JUST got back to this forum to see this lovely thread. Oh guess I don't know who the mystery poster is then. yep, he was my guess too lol
one thing wrong with your deduction:
My parents are long gone. lolz
holy crap that description does fit me in a few ways...
-..-
Can't be moltke, he's autistic >_>
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It does sound stereotypically schizophrenic that you suddenly think that you were adopted and that your parents were hiding it from you. Schizophrenia is catagorized sometimes by a "me versus the world" kind of mentality. Especially the parts about going to the police station, dna testing, etc.. Especially if this all came out of nowhere.
Sometimes professionals say that the person can come to a conclusion (I'm adopted) and then work backwords for the evidence (blonde hair, athletic, dad told you that you shouldn't eat surgay cereal once).
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well if you decide to read this, i got 1 bit of advice. if your given medication, NEVER stop taking it and NEVER go back to drugs. two thing's my brother did when he got diagnosed with schizophrenia (spelling?). A year later he's still in a mental hospital and allowed to come home for a few hours everyday, where he sits there and talks to himself. Don't give up on mediacation. The docters know what they speak off.
edit: i'm just assuming youa drug user, most mental issues are caused by drugs.
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MURICA15980 Posts
Damn, I'm sorry bro. But seriously, there's a reason why they aren't supposed to tell you that you may be schizo until they know for sure and possibly consulted your family. I mean, look at what you've been doing?! You're jumping to all sorts of conclusions and being super paranoid, yet it isn't even certain that the diagnosis was right. I say that shrink messed up big time.
Annnnnnd, if you do have a possibility of having schizo, I think it is a big enough deal not to worry about privacy anymore. Let friends and family have a talk with the shrink. Seriously. Your priorities should lie with your health first before your privacy.
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I just want to hear more about your shrink
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Hi hyun! can you buy me a jacket in korea when you go this summer?
gl OP with your issue!
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On June 14 2007 17:44 RedTail wrote:
It does sound stereotypically schizophrenic that you suddenly think that you were adopted and that your parents were hiding it from you. Schizophrenia is catagorized sometimes by a "me versus the world" kind of mentality. Especially the parts about going to the police station, dna testing, etc.. Especially if this all came out of nowhere.
Sometimes professionals say that the person can come to a conclusion (I'm adopted) and then work backwords for the evidence (blonde hair, athletic, dad told you that you shouldn't eat surgay cereal once).
Otherwise known as "delusions", which alone can not diagnose schizophrenia. Many other disorders involve delusions, including depression.
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It has run around in my familly too it's not like you are fucked for life, everyone find it's inner peace at some point, just make sure you live to be able to feel free at least once. I say this because my uncle shot himself in the head with a shotgun. I know it can be pretty damn hard at time to handle.
I've been pretty fuck'ed up myself, I strongly felt a dissociation from the world. I've also a pretty strong history of drug use, two years ago (at college) I pretty much did drug every 2-3 nights (even on school day), weed, hash oil, shrooms, salvia, LSD, speed, ecstasy, ketamine, dxm and also a variety of drugs I bought online. I would go everynight and smoke until 3-5AM, with school at 8AM.
I often had hallucination during school class because I had done psychedelic drugs during the weekend, weed would bring back some of it. Like I would turn around thinking someone was here then I wouldn't see anyone, or it was someone else. I remember my teacher once asked me some question and I wouldn't be able to answer because I couldn't understand what she said no matter how many time she said it so I kinna slumped on my chair not even bothering to answer, she came later to ask me if I did drugs and I answered no, didn't feel like being bothered, never felt like it. Most of the time it wasn't much of a pain I could just sleep in class.
I can barely remember this time it feels as if I have no memory at all, but I'll try to point out why I believe I have(had?) this condition, in part at least. I often was lost in tought loops, unable to move away some deeply emotional nightmarish toughts, things like human organs swirming or frenzied undead clawing throught skin. Oh and the nightmares, those were crazy, most nights I'd have a weird ass nightmare so realistic I couldn't move even if I woke up, like I was stuck in that world yet awake. Stuff like falling from a ship and sinking into the abyss with weird ass fish wanting to eat me in total darkness, I sometimes didn't even go to sleep just cause of nightmares. Sometime I just had impulse to do weird ass things, like suddenly want to break a mirror or a window, or sometime I felt like bitting people in the mouth and I tought about killing my parent(and others) so many times. Of course I knew enough not to act on those kind of things. Now I never have these kind of confused feelings, I am merely remembering what I felt by then.
So they say drug make you schizophreniac? Nah, I always believed I was sorta, or on some part of the spectrum, perhaps it started it. I did some drug alone too, not much, now I truly appreciate drugs alone(it's especially true with psychedelic, for deep meditation). I would say I always appreciated being alone, throught it doesn't mean I don't enjoy company of other, I'm usually quite sociable but sometimes paranoid, especially on drugs.
I like to think of drugs or meditation as some kind of temporary relief for the stress of life, it does help. I'm so happy I never told a doctor about this, it's the funniest of all those mentall illness you can get, I'm enjoying it now. Still do some drugs, weed and psychedelic mostly, once in a while I suggest them to those who wants to understand themselves better, perhaps meditation if you don't like drugs, or both.
Also I wanna point out that talking to yourself isn't really weird, it's merely expressing your unconcious out loud, your not alone. I smoked a joint while writting this, couldn't stop writting, I said too much damn, hope I didn't scare you lol. 
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On June 14 2007 20:37 oddeye wrote:It has run around in my familly too it's not like you are fucked for life, everyone find it's inner peace at some point, just make sure you live to be able to feel free at least once. I say this because my uncle shot himself in the head with a shotgun. I know it can be pretty damn hard at time to handle. I've been pretty fuck'ed up myself, I strongly felt a dissociation from the world. I've also a pretty strong history of drug use, two years ago (at college) I pretty much did drug every 2-3 nights (even on school day), weed, hash oil, shrooms, salvia, LSD, speed, ecstasy, ketamine, dxm and also a variety of drugs I bought online. I would go everynight and smoke until 3-5AM, with school at 8AM. I often had hallucination during school class because I had done psychedelic drugs during the weekend, weed would bring back some of it. Like I would turn around thinking someone was here then I wouldn't see anyone, or it was someone else. I remember my teacher once asked me some question and I wouldn't be able to answer because I couldn't understand what she said no matter how many time she said it so I kinna slumped on my chair not even bothering to answer, she came later to ask me if I did drugs and I answered no, didn't feel like being bothered, never felt like it. Most of the time it wasn't much of a pain I could just sleep in class. I can barely remember this time it feels as if I have no memory at all, but I'll try to point out why I believe I have(had?) this condition, in part at least. I often was lost in tought loops, unable to move away some deeply emotional nightmarish toughts, things like human organs swirming or frenzied undead clawing throught skin. Oh and the nightmares, those were crazy, most nights I'd have a weird ass nightmare so realistic I couldn't move even if I woke up, like I was stuck in that world yet awake. Stuff like falling from a ship and sinking into the abyss with weird ass fish wanting to eat me in total darkness, I sometimes didn't even go to sleep just cause of nightmares. Sometime I just had impulse to do weird ass things, like suddenly want to break a mirror or a window, or sometime I felt like bitting people in the mouth and I tought about killing my parent(and others) so many times. Of course I knew enough not to act on those kind of things. Now I never have these kind of confused feelings, I am merely remembering what I felt by then. So they say drug make you schizophreniac? Nah, I always believed I was sorta, or on some part of the spectrum, perhaps it started it. I did some drug alone too, not much, now I truly appreciate drugs alone(it's especially true with psychedelic, for deep meditation). I would say I always appreciated being alone, throught it doesn't mean I don't enjoy company of other, I'm usually quite sociable but sometimes paranoid, especially on drugs. I like to think of drugs or meditation as some kind of temporary relief for the stress of life, it does help. I'm so happy I never told a doctor about this, it's the funniest of all those mentall illness you can get, I'm enjoying it now. Still do some drugs, weed and psychedelic mostly, once in a while I suggest them to those who wants to understand themselves better, perhaps meditation if you don't like drugs, or both. Also I wanna point out that talking to yourself isn't really weird, it's merely expressing your unconcious out loud, your not alone. I smoked a joint while writting this, couldn't stop writting, I said too much damn, hope I didn't scare you lol.
and another thing kids,
Don't. Smoke. Crack.
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On June 14 2007 17:00 QuietIdiot wrote:
u ain't a fucking schizo. If you are, then I'm a fucking serial killer.
Doc says I had schizo, took meds, had huge huge side effects that I may never recover from.
TURNS OUT I FUCKING HAVE SOME FUCKING CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME. NICE GOING DOC, NICE FUCKING GOING.
Half a century ago, they thought drilling a fucking hole through your skull would solve your mental disorders. A few years ago, they believed homosexuality was a mental disorder. Now they come with this theory on chemical imbalances without any real method other than deductions and reading off descriptions from a fucking textbook. I am extremely skeptical about such a relatively "new" field in the medical world. I feel like a victim, I'm no longer the fucking same person I am now. I can't think properly, I can't trust myself, and I make people laugh at me for all the fucking wrong reasons. Those fucking doctors smile and look down on me as a lab rat, toss me out as expendable trial and error experiments. Been called a person of inferior intellect. I can take that. Been called a an Asian mime. Can take that. Being called a laughable excuse of a human being? I'll fuck you up.
Funny, and I JUST got back to this forum to see this lovely thread.
What medications?
Horrible story
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so, after all this reading, its evan right?
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On June 14 2007 18:01 Pads wrote:
edit: i'm just assuming youa drug user, most mental issues are caused by drugs.
Sometimes drugs can help trigger mental issues but there is no way most mental issues are caused by drugs. Some mental issues are caused by drugs but even that is overstating it a bit.
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On June 15 2007 15:43 BloodyC0bbler wrote:
so, after all this reading, its evan right?
No i dont think so, i really wish i know who it was though -_-
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I'm sure tehbuoncer loves it that people think its him.
Notice I botched the name on purpose, just in case.
Edit: Wait, I'm positive evan doesn't have blonde hair. Was that from here? I'm confused now.
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isnt evan asian? im sure he is, i saw his facebook picture
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On June 14 2007 17:00 QuietIdiot wrote:
u ain't a fucking schizo. If you are, then I'm a fucking serial killer.
Doc says I had schizo, took meds, had huge huge side effects that I may never recover from.
TURNS OUT I FUCKING HAVE SOME FUCKING CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME. NICE GOING DOC, NICE FUCKING GOING.
Half a century ago, they thought drilling a fucking hole through your skull would solve your mental disorders. A few years ago, they believed homosexuality was a mental disorder. Now they come with this theory on chemical imbalances without any real method other than deductions and reading off descriptions from a fucking textbook. I am extremely skeptical about such a relatively "new" field in the medical world. I feel like a victim, I'm no longer the fucking same person I am now. I can't think properly, I can't trust myself, and I make people laugh at me for all the fucking wrong reasons. Those fucking doctors smile and look down on me as a lab rat, toss me out as expendable trial and error experiments. Been called a person of inferior intellect. I can take that. Been called a an Asian mime. Can take that. Being called a laughable excuse of a human being? I'll fuck you up.
Funny, and I JUST got back to this forum to see this lovely thread.
Similiar shit happened to me, i wasn't accused of being schizo, but other stuff that wans't really true and ended up fucking up most of my life.
Anyway, from how you described it i don't beleive you are schizo, even the most sane of people talk to themselves to think out loud. We have all talked to ourselves it's nothing to bad. It does sound like your Shrink is just jumping to conclusions.
But yeah, you should probably just ask your parents unless you really have something against doing that. My sister has blue eyes and neither of my parents do so it isn't impossible to have some features that neither of your parents have. In any case i hope you get your shit worked out and they stop overreacting.
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You should all watch "one flew over the cuckoo's nest"... lots of lessons to be learnt from that film. Not to mention it's quoted EVERYWHERE in pop culture.
PASSSSS THE BALL CHIEFFF!!! HIT ME CHIEFEY BABY!!!!
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On June 14 2007 20:37 oddeye wrote:It has run around in my familly too it's not like you are fucked for life, everyone find it's inner peace at some point, just make sure you live to be able to feel free at least once. I say this because my uncle shot himself in the head with a shotgun. I know it can be pretty damn hard at time to handle. I've been pretty fuck'ed up myself, I strongly felt a dissociation from the world. I've also a pretty strong history of drug use, two years ago (at college) I pretty much did drug every 2-3 nights (even on school day), weed, hash oil, shrooms, salvia, LSD, speed, ecstasy, ketamine, dxm and also a variety of drugs I bought online. I would go everynight and smoke until 3-5AM, with school at 8AM. I often had hallucination during school class because I had done psychedelic drugs during the weekend, weed would bring back some of it. Like I would turn around thinking someone was here then I wouldn't see anyone, or it was someone else. I remember my teacher once asked me some question and I wouldn't be able to answer because I couldn't understand what she said no matter how many time she said it so I kinna slumped on my chair not even bothering to answer, she came later to ask me if I did drugs and I answered no, didn't feel like being bothered, never felt like it. Most of the time it wasn't much of a pain I could just sleep in class. I can barely remember this time it feels as if I have no memory at all, but I'll try to point out why I believe I have(had?) this condition, in part at least. I often was lost in tought loops, unable to move away some deeply emotional nightmarish toughts, things like human organs swirming or frenzied undead clawing throught skin. Oh and the nightmares, those were crazy, most nights I'd have a weird ass nightmare so realistic I couldn't move even if I woke up, like I was stuck in that world yet awake. Stuff like falling from a ship and sinking into the abyss with weird ass fish wanting to eat me in total darkness, I sometimes didn't even go to sleep just cause of nightmares. Sometime I just had impulse to do weird ass things, like suddenly want to break a mirror or a window, or sometime I felt like bitting people in the mouth and I tought about killing my parent(and others) so many times. Of course I knew enough not to act on those kind of things. Now I never have these kind of confused feelings, I am merely remembering what I felt by then. So they say drug make you schizophreniac? Nah, I always believed I was sorta, or on some part of the spectrum, perhaps it started it. I did some drug alone too, not much, now I truly appreciate drugs alone(it's especially true with psychedelic, for deep meditation). I would say I always appreciated being alone, throught it doesn't mean I don't enjoy company of other, I'm usually quite sociable but sometimes paranoid, especially on drugs. I like to think of drugs or meditation as some kind of temporary relief for the stress of life, it does help. I'm so happy I never told a doctor about this, it's the funniest of all those mentall illness you can get, I'm enjoying it now. Still do some drugs, weed and psychedelic mostly, once in a while I suggest them to those who wants to understand themselves better, perhaps meditation if you don't like drugs, or both. Also I wanna point out that talking to yourself isn't really weird, it's merely expressing your unconcious out loud, your not alone. I smoked a joint while writting this, couldn't stop writting, I said too much damn, hope I didn't scare you lol.
All i can say is holly fuck dude :S!
and regarding the OP, im pretty sure you arent a Schizo, the shrink was a retard and an amateur, she shouldt have told you that , she messed up big time.
GO and see another more experience shrink, be honest with yourself and relax, for the looks of it i think you have depression or another disease but not schizo, dont be paranoid
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can only wish you the best of luck buddy...cheers
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Physician
United States4146 Posts
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The girl just fell totally in love with you and she was afraid you wouldn't come anymore if she couldn't diagnose something severe.
That's also why she told you to not come back anymore in the first place. She was afraid to fall in love with you! But now it's too late for her.
I mean, if you really had something severe your psychiatrist wouldn't have told you not to come back!?
If you don' believe me just go see another psychiatrist (would be better anyways if your psychiatrist is "neutral" to you).
He'll totally agree to my conclusion and diagnose nothing! Then you can sue/fuck her!!
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pix?
but holy shit i cant believe youre schizo -__-)a
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Is it "eff @"? Although he comes from Sweden and seems to have brown hair, I don't know any other protoss users who joined tl in 2002 and who are 18.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://img510.imageshack.us/img510/1744/dfgsdfgsdfgal3.jpg)
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