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On August 23 2012 21:43 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 21:39 Ludwigvan wrote:On August 23 2012 21:25 Grumbels wrote:
Some people think that if you get a girl drunk and then take her home and have sex with her when she passes out then it's not rape. Or if she agrees to kissing and touching before. Or if she was flirting with you. Or if she agreed to sex before, but not this time. Or if she had an orgasm during being raped (strangely this happens). Or if she gets pregnant after rape. Or if she is not emotionally broken afterwards. Or if she didn't struggle against the rapist during the rape. Or if she was wearing seductive/revealing clothing. Or if she was "asking for it". Or if she agreed to go to some party and "should have known" what would happen.
No person with good intentions needs ever worry about accidentally raping a girl, that's just ridiculous. This does not mean that all forms of rape have equal consequences, are equally destructive and equally horrible. But they are all bad and that should be the first step. There is no difference between rape and 'rape-rape' and legitimate rape is a ridiculous combination of words. I don't agree. I am 6 feet and 3 inches and sarcastic. Is it easy for me to see if someone is scared of me? No. Do people tell me if they don't agree? No, they are often afraid, if they see me and don't know me. How should I know, if nobody tells me? It's something that I learned over a long period thinking about how people see me. The intention alone is really not always enough. In my case it is a lot of experience too. It's just so hard to understand what impression people get of you. I am convinced that it can happen, that you later realize, that you raped a girl. Maybe you misinterpreted her not willing as lust. Not every girl will scream as shit and beat you. Some might think: "I have no chance anyway, so don't defend, just wait until its over." Well-intentioned is the opposite of good. XD I hope you're not serious. Please give me a scenario where you think this could happen.
Why wouldn't (or shouldn't) I be serious? Humans don't act on their reason only, but on their instincts. So, if you are totally overthrown by your lust, then you might not be able to reason enough. If you smoked weed and had this amazing idea that you then write a note of. The next day you wake up and read it and think, that this is horribly stupid. Lust can change your sense of reality also. Not just like the drug, obv. different. But, you know what I mean. Or, have you ever heard someone say "I only see tits, when I go out." in the summer? After wanking, this will often times get a bit reduced.
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On August 23 2012 21:39 Ludwigvan wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 21:25 Grumbels wrote:
Some people think that if you get a girl drunk and then take her home and have sex with her when she passes out then it's not rape. Or if she agrees to kissing and touching before. Or if she was flirting with you. Or if she agreed to sex before, but not this time. Or if she had an orgasm during being raped (strangely this happens). Or if she gets pregnant after rape. Or if she is not emotionally broken afterwards. Or if she didn't struggle against the rapist during the rape. Or if she was wearing seductive/revealing clothing. Or if she was "asking for it". Or if she agreed to go to some party and "should have known" what would happen.
No person with good intentions needs ever worry about accidentally raping a girl, that's just ridiculous. This does not mean that all forms of rape have equal consequences, are equally destructive and equally horrible. But they are all bad and that should be the first step. There is no difference between rape and 'rape-rape' and legitimate rape is a ridiculous combination of words. I don't agree. I am 6 feet and 3 inches and sarcastic. Is it easy for me to see if someone is scared of me? No. Do people tell me if they don't agree? No, they are often afraid, if they see me and don't know me. How should I know, if nobody tells me? It's something that I learned over a long period thinking about how people see me. The intention alone is really not always enough. In my case it is a lot of experience too. It's just so hard to understand what impression people get of you. I am convinced that it can happen, that you later realize, that you raped a girl. Maybe you misinterpreted her not willing as lust. Not every girl will scream as shit and beat you. Some might think: "I have no chance anyway, so don't defend, just wait until its over." Well-intentioned is the opposite of good. XD
Then maybe you should explicitly make sure that she actually wants sex instead of relying on your guessing if you have such trouble.
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On August 23 2012 21:51 Ludwigvan wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 21:43 Grumbels wrote:On August 23 2012 21:39 Ludwigvan wrote:On August 23 2012 21:25 Grumbels wrote:
Some people think that if you get a girl drunk and then take her home and have sex with her when she passes out then it's not rape. Or if she agrees to kissing and touching before. Or if she was flirting with you. Or if she agreed to sex before, but not this time. Or if she had an orgasm during being raped (strangely this happens). Or if she gets pregnant after rape. Or if she is not emotionally broken afterwards. Or if she didn't struggle against the rapist during the rape. Or if she was wearing seductive/revealing clothing. Or if she was "asking for it". Or if she agreed to go to some party and "should have known" what would happen.
No person with good intentions needs ever worry about accidentally raping a girl, that's just ridiculous. This does not mean that all forms of rape have equal consequences, are equally destructive and equally horrible. But they are all bad and that should be the first step. There is no difference between rape and 'rape-rape' and legitimate rape is a ridiculous combination of words. I don't agree. I am 6 feet and 3 inches and sarcastic. Is it easy for me to see if someone is scared of me? No. Do people tell me if they don't agree? No, they are often afraid, if they see me and don't know me. How should I know, if nobody tells me? It's something that I learned over a long period thinking about how people see me. The intention alone is really not always enough. In my case it is a lot of experience too. It's just so hard to understand what impression people get of you. I am convinced that it can happen, that you later realize, that you raped a girl. Maybe you misinterpreted her not willing as lust. Not every girl will scream as shit and beat you. Some might think: "I have no chance anyway, so don't defend, just wait until its over." Well-intentioned is the opposite of good. XD I hope you're not serious. Please give me a scenario where you think this could happen. I hope you're not serious. Please give me a scenario where you think this could happen.
http://gawker.com/5927400/husband-accused-of-posting-craigslist-ad-soliciting-strangers-to-rape-his-wife
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Police in Idaho arrested a man last week after he allegedly posted a Craigslist ad asking random men to break into his home and rape his wife.
The 32-year-old Twin Falls resident reportedly put up an ad on the "casual encounters" section of Craigslist claiming his wife "wanted to be forcibly raped as that was a fantasy of hers." Police say he told potential rapists "not stop no matter how much she resisted."
According to prosecutors, the man's wife had no knowledge of her husband's ad before Saturday, when she was attacked by a home invader for the second time in as many days. Police arrived at the couple's home to find the wife pointing a gun at a man, identified as Michael Combs, and took him into custody.
The husband, a National Guardman who was away at work at the time, was forced to admit to siccing Combs on his wife after police found evidence of their email exchange on his cellphone.
He is currently being held on $100,000 bond; a preliminary hearing is scheduled for later this month.
The first attacker, who fled after the wife's gun went off during their struggle, is still at large.
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On August 23 2012 21:55 mcc wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 21:39 Ludwigvan wrote:On August 23 2012 21:25 Grumbels wrote:
Some people think that if you get a girl drunk and then take her home and have sex with her when she passes out then it's not rape. Or if she agrees to kissing and touching before. Or if she was flirting with you. Or if she agreed to sex before, but not this time. Or if she had an orgasm during being raped (strangely this happens). Or if she gets pregnant after rape. Or if she is not emotionally broken afterwards. Or if she didn't struggle against the rapist during the rape. Or if she was wearing seductive/revealing clothing. Or if she was "asking for it". Or if she agreed to go to some party and "should have known" what would happen.
No person with good intentions needs ever worry about accidentally raping a girl, that's just ridiculous. This does not mean that all forms of rape have equal consequences, are equally destructive and equally horrible. But they are all bad and that should be the first step. There is no difference between rape and 'rape-rape' and legitimate rape is a ridiculous combination of words. I don't agree. I am 6 feet and 3 inches and sarcastic. Is it easy for me to see if someone is scared of me? No. Do people tell me if they don't agree? No, they are often afraid, if they see me and don't know me. How should I know, if nobody tells me? It's something that I learned over a long period thinking about how people see me. The intention alone is really not always enough. In my case it is a lot of experience too. It's just so hard to understand what impression people get of you. I am convinced that it can happen, that you later realize, that you raped a girl. Maybe you misinterpreted her not willing as lust. Not every girl will scream as shit and beat you. Some might think: "I have no chance anyway, so don't defend, just wait until its over." Well-intentioned is the opposite of good. XD Then maybe you should explicitly make sure that she actually wants sex instead of relying on your guessing if you have such trouble.
I don't rely on guessing. I ask, if I don't know them. Like Jimmy Carr tells me to. ^^
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On August 23 2012 21:57 Ludwigvan wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 21:55 mcc wrote:On August 23 2012 21:39 Ludwigvan wrote:On August 23 2012 21:25 Grumbels wrote:
Some people think that if you get a girl drunk and then take her home and have sex with her when she passes out then it's not rape. Or if she agrees to kissing and touching before. Or if she was flirting with you. Or if she agreed to sex before, but not this time. Or if she had an orgasm during being raped (strangely this happens). Or if she gets pregnant after rape. Or if she is not emotionally broken afterwards. Or if she didn't struggle against the rapist during the rape. Or if she was wearing seductive/revealing clothing. Or if she was "asking for it". Or if she agreed to go to some party and "should have known" what would happen.
No person with good intentions needs ever worry about accidentally raping a girl, that's just ridiculous. This does not mean that all forms of rape have equal consequences, are equally destructive and equally horrible. But they are all bad and that should be the first step. There is no difference between rape and 'rape-rape' and legitimate rape is a ridiculous combination of words. I don't agree. I am 6 feet and 3 inches and sarcastic. Is it easy for me to see if someone is scared of me? No. Do people tell me if they don't agree? No, they are often afraid, if they see me and don't know me. How should I know, if nobody tells me? It's something that I learned over a long period thinking about how people see me. The intention alone is really not always enough. In my case it is a lot of experience too. It's just so hard to understand what impression people get of you. I am convinced that it can happen, that you later realize, that you raped a girl. Maybe you misinterpreted her not willing as lust. Not every girl will scream as shit and beat you. Some might think: "I have no chance anyway, so don't defend, just wait until its over." Well-intentioned is the opposite of good. XD Then maybe you should explicitly make sure that she actually wants sex instead of relying on your guessing if you have such trouble. I don't rely on guessing. I ask. like Jimmy Carr tells me to. ^^
http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-a-Girl-You're-Ready-for-Sex-when-You-Have-Asperger's-Syndrome
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If a woman climbs into your bed naked and gets raped, then the legal system should prosecute the rapists as it should. HOWEVER, climbing into a bed naked is a really stupid decision and to feel even a shred of sympathy for some doing something so reckless is also stupid
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On August 23 2012 22:05 MattBarry wrote:
If a woman climbs into your bed naked and gets raped, then the legal system should prosecute the rapists as it should. HOWEVER, climbing into a bed naked is a really stupid decision and to feel even a shred of sympathy for some doing something so reckless is also stupid
What are you talking about? Like, a scenario where a strange woman just mysteriously appears in your bed? (breaking and entering) Or one where a woman you know comes home with you and goes to lie naked in your bed? (in which case maybe she was thinking about consenting, but hadn't yet made up her mind) And then if she gets raped you can't be bothered to feel sympathy for the woman?
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On August 23 2012 22:01 kokomojowelieole wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 21:57 Ludwigvan wrote:On August 23 2012 21:55 mcc wrote:On August 23 2012 21:39 Ludwigvan wrote:On August 23 2012 21:25 Grumbels wrote:
Some people think that if you get a girl drunk and then take her home and have sex with her when she passes out then it's not rape. Or if she agrees to kissing and touching before. Or if she was flirting with you. Or if she agreed to sex before, but not this time. Or if she had an orgasm during being raped (strangely this happens). Or if she gets pregnant after rape. Or if she is not emotionally broken afterwards. Or if she didn't struggle against the rapist during the rape. Or if she was wearing seductive/revealing clothing. Or if she was "asking for it". Or if she agreed to go to some party and "should have known" what would happen.
No person with good intentions needs ever worry about accidentally raping a girl, that's just ridiculous. This does not mean that all forms of rape have equal consequences, are equally destructive and equally horrible. But they are all bad and that should be the first step. There is no difference between rape and 'rape-rape' and legitimate rape is a ridiculous combination of words. I don't agree. I am 6 feet and 3 inches and sarcastic. Is it easy for me to see if someone is scared of me? No. Do people tell me if they don't agree? No, they are often afraid, if they see me and don't know me. How should I know, if nobody tells me? It's something that I learned over a long period thinking about how people see me. The intention alone is really not always enough. In my case it is a lot of experience too. It's just so hard to understand what impression people get of you. I am convinced that it can happen, that you later realize, that you raped a girl. Maybe you misinterpreted her not willing as lust. Not every girl will scream as shit and beat you. Some might think: "I have no chance anyway, so don't defend, just wait until its over." Well-intentioned is the opposite of good. XD Then maybe you should explicitly make sure that she actually wants sex instead of relying on your guessing if you have such trouble. I don't rely on guessing. I ask. like Jimmy Carr tells me to. ^^ http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-a-Girl-You're-Ready-for-Sex-when-You-Have-Asperger's-Syndrome
That's what my sister says too, that I am autistic. But I don't agree. A diagnosis should only be used if someone isn't happy (or hurting others) and accepts or wants help. I am a bit with Foucault on that topic. Diagnosis in society is used to discriminate and make yourself feel better than they. I have diagnosed so many people and it never was a good thing. Unless they go see a doctor for it, it should not be done. So, yes, I am a bit mad, but no real hard feelings, mate. It was well-intended. (^_^)
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On August 23 2012 22:11 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 22:05 MattBarry wrote:
If a woman climbs into your bed naked and gets raped, then the legal system should prosecute the rapists as it should. HOWEVER, climbing into a bed naked is a really stupid decision and to feel even a shred of sympathy for some doing something so reckless is also stupid What are you talking about? Like, a scenario where a strange woman just mysteriously appears in your bed? (breaking and entering) Or one where a woman you know comes home with you and goes to lie naked in your bed? (in which case maybe she was thinking about consenting, but hadn't yet made up her mind) And then if she gets raped you can't be bothered to feel sympathy for the woman?
If you haven't made up your mind whetever you want to have sex or not, stripping naked and climbing into his bed is a stupid thing to do.
That said, its rarely as black and white as that.
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On August 23 2012 22:14 Excludos wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 22:11 Grumbels wrote:On August 23 2012 22:05 MattBarry wrote:
If a woman climbs into your bed naked and gets raped, then the legal system should prosecute the rapists as it should. HOWEVER, climbing into a bed naked is a really stupid decision and to feel even a shred of sympathy for some doing something so reckless is also stupid What are you talking about? Like, a scenario where a strange woman just mysteriously appears in your bed? (breaking and entering) Or one where a woman you know comes home with you and goes to lie naked in your bed? (in which case maybe she was thinking about consenting, but hadn't yet made up her mind) And then if she gets raped you can't be bothered to feel sympathy for the woman? If you haven't made up your mind whetever you want to have sex or not, stripping naked and climbing into his bed is a stupid thing to do. That said, its rarely as black and white as that.
Why is it stupid? Because men might 'accidentally' rape you?
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On August 23 2012 22:11 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 22:05 MattBarry wrote:
If a woman climbs into your bed naked and gets raped, then the legal system should prosecute the rapists as it should. HOWEVER, climbing into a bed naked is a really stupid decision and to feel even a shred of sympathy for some doing something so reckless is also stupid What are you talking about? Like, a scenario where a strange woman just mysteriously appears in your bed? (breaking and entering) Or one where a woman you know comes home with you and goes to lie naked in your bed? (in which case maybe she was thinking about consenting, but hadn't yet made up her mind) And then if she gets raped you can't be bothered to feel sympathy for the woman?
Idk, it just seems stupid to throw yourself in the lions den by doing that. In an ideal world, rape doesn't exist but it isn't an ideal world and to make stupid decisions that drastically increase your chances of being raped, then you're an idiot
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Asking can i fuck you? Is a good way of killing whatever possible mood there might have been, =/
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On August 23 2012 22:16 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 22:14 Excludos wrote:On August 23 2012 22:11 Grumbels wrote:On August 23 2012 22:05 MattBarry wrote:
If a woman climbs into your bed naked and gets raped, then the legal system should prosecute the rapists as it should. HOWEVER, climbing into a bed naked is a really stupid decision and to feel even a shred of sympathy for some doing something so reckless is also stupid What are you talking about? Like, a scenario where a strange woman just mysteriously appears in your bed? (breaking and entering) Or one where a woman you know comes home with you and goes to lie naked in your bed? (in which case maybe she was thinking about consenting, but hadn't yet made up her mind) And then if she gets raped you can't be bothered to feel sympathy for the woman? If you haven't made up your mind whetever you want to have sex or not, stripping naked and climbing into his bed is a stupid thing to do. That said, its rarely as black and white as that. Why is it stupid? Because men might 'accidentally' rape you?
I never said anything about the man not being at fault. If you force yourself on someone without consent, its obvious rape. But that doesn't women should walk around doing stupid things that increases the risk of being raped, like stripping naked and entering someones bed without the intention of actually doing anything.
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On August 23 2012 22:16 MattBarry wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 22:11 Grumbels wrote:On August 23 2012 22:05 MattBarry wrote:
If a woman climbs into your bed naked and gets raped, then the legal system should prosecute the rapists as it should. HOWEVER, climbing into a bed naked is a really stupid decision and to feel even a shred of sympathy for some doing something so reckless is also stupid What are you talking about? Like, a scenario where a strange woman just mysteriously appears in your bed? (breaking and entering) Or one where a woman you know comes home with you and goes to lie naked in your bed? (in which case maybe she was thinking about consenting, but hadn't yet made up her mind) And then if she gets raped you can't be bothered to feel sympathy for the woman? Idk, it just seems stupid to throw yourself in the lions den by doing that. In an ideal world, rape doesn't exist but it isn't an ideal world and to make stupid decisions that drastically increase your chances of being raped, then you're an idiot
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_culture#Feminist_theory
Also: Blaming the Victim
The most common emotional responses to sexual harassment, battering, and rape are guilt, fear, powerlessness, shame, betrayal, anger, and denial. Guilt is often the first and deepest response. Anger may arise only later; this is not surprising, because as women we often have no sense of a right to be free from these kinds of violence.
We may feel guilty about violence done to us because we are taught that our job is to make men happy, and if they aren't, we--not they--are to blame. Many of us heard from our parents, "Boys will be boys, so girls must take care"--the message being that we can avoid unwanted male attention if only we are careful enough. If anything goes wrong, it must be our fault. Blaming the victim releases the man who commits violence from the responsibility for what he has done. Friends or family may blame the victim in order to feel safe themselves: "She got raped because she walked alone after midnight. I'd never do that, so rape won't happen to me."
WOMEN ARE NOT GUILTY FOR VIOLENCE COMMITTED BY MEN ON OUR BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT. THIS VIOLENCE HAPPENS BECAUSE OF MEN'S GREATER POWER AND THEIR MISUSE OF THAT POWER. from http://www.feminist.com/resources/ourbodies/viol_blame.html .
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On August 23 2012 20:49 zalz wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 20:40 Shiragaku wrote:On August 23 2012 20:34 ZergOwaR wrote:
Being phyiscally forced was obviously a rape in the eyes of nearly everyone, but if a women gets naked, climbs into your bed, and then suddenly says she doesn't want to have sex, is it still a rape? Of course it is (imo anyway), but the majority of people seem to disagree on that notion.
We could make a good analog out of this. If i BBQ a boar in africa, and i promis this obviously starved individual some of it, and then deny it when it's finally done, most people would say that it's my own fault if he just steals it. Same thing goes for sex. It's a deep drive in men, it's way stronger than any drug. How can it be his fault, if the woman does some shit like that then? if a women gets naked and climbs into your bed and says "i dont want to have sex" thats your problem and you cant force yourself on her. IF you do you have some serious serlf control issues. getting horny is a deep drive in men, but not that deep and certainly not stronger than any drug. I have had so much alcohol in me that i black out and remember nothing.. i have never been so horny that i cant help going after a girl, even a naked one.. in my bed. she said she was to tired and didnt want to.. i was abit dissapointed cause i was good to go, but that is life.. any man that says he can't control his urges is fucking weak and deserves to be put into a cell with another man that can't control himself either "Wait! You are saying we have to take responsibility for our actions even though she is asking for it? If she does not want to get raped, then she should stop acting like a fucking slut." The sad thing is that I know some guys in real life that actually believe that statement and would probably call you a whiny feminazi. It is really tragic blaming the victim is more common than it is suppose to be. The majority people actually believe that. The poll, using various examples (of which a girl willingly going into your bed naked, then changing her mind was the most extreme), showed how people increasingly became fine with the notion of forced sex. By the end I think it was something like 70/30 in favor of the girl being to blame for any rape that takes place. It wasn't in some 3rd world country etither, the UK if I remember correctly. Makes you wonder how much worse it is in other countries that don't even acknowledge that men and women are equal. It makes me sick how so many people can believe that it is ever alright to violate another individual's right over their own body. Shows how long the road still is. I don't always praise the TL community as much as others might, but I'm glad to see that at least the majority here respects a women's personhood.
Don't quote me on this, but I believe that in some middle eastern Arab countries where the vast majority of citizens are of muslim beliefs, and consequently the laws are of muslim beliefs as well, a woman who is raped who is married gets death by stoning for adultery. I know for a fact that this was the case 2 or 3 years ago, but am unsure if it remains today.
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On August 23 2012 22:23 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 22:16 MattBarry wrote:On August 23 2012 22:11 Grumbels wrote:On August 23 2012 22:05 MattBarry wrote:
If a woman climbs into your bed naked and gets raped, then the legal system should prosecute the rapists as it should. HOWEVER, climbing into a bed naked is a really stupid decision and to feel even a shred of sympathy for some doing something so reckless is also stupid What are you talking about? Like, a scenario where a strange woman just mysteriously appears in your bed? (breaking and entering) Or one where a woman you know comes home with you and goes to lie naked in your bed? (in which case maybe she was thinking about consenting, but hadn't yet made up her mind) And then if she gets raped you can't be bothered to feel sympathy for the woman? Idk, it just seems stupid to throw yourself in the lions den by doing that. In an ideal world, rape doesn't exist but it isn't an ideal world and to make stupid decisions that drastically increase your chances of being raped, then you're an idiot http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_culture#Feminist_theoryAlso: Show nested quote +Blaming the Victim
The most common emotional responses to sexual harassment, battering, and rape are guilt, fear, powerlessness, shame, betrayal, anger, and denial. Guilt is often the first and deepest response. Anger may arise only later; this is not surprising, because as women we often have no sense of a right to be free from these kinds of violence.
We may feel guilty about violence done to us because we are taught that our job is to make men happy, and if they aren't, we--not they--are to blame. Many of us heard from our parents, "Boys will be boys, so girls must take care"--the message being that we can avoid unwanted male attention if only we are careful enough. If anything goes wrong, it must be our fault. Blaming the victim releases the man who commits violence from the responsibility for what he has done. Friends or family may blame the victim in order to feel safe themselves: "She got raped because she walked alone after midnight. I'd never do that, so rape won't happen to me."
WOMEN ARE NOT GUILTY FOR VIOLENCE COMMITTED BY MEN ON OUR BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT. THIS VIOLENCE HAPPENS BECAUSE OF MEN'S GREATER POWER AND THEIR MISUSE OF THAT POWER. from http://www.feminist.com/resources/ourbodies/viol_blame.html .
It's not the victims fault, they're just foolishly increasing their chances.
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Rape is when a woman decides to have sex with a man, and then at a later time, decides she regrets it and takes legal recourse to assuage her shame.
User was banned for this post.
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On August 23 2012 20:49 zalz wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 20:40 Shiragaku wrote:On August 23 2012 20:34 ZergOwaR wrote:
Being phyiscally forced was obviously a rape in the eyes of nearly everyone, but if a women gets naked, climbs into your bed, and then suddenly says she doesn't want to have sex, is it still a rape? Of course it is (imo anyway), but the majority of people seem to disagree on that notion.
We could make a good analog out of this. If i BBQ a boar in africa, and i promis this obviously starved individual some of it, and then deny it when it's finally done, most people would say that it's my own fault if he just steals it. Same thing goes for sex. It's a deep drive in men, it's way stronger than any drug. How can it be his fault, if the woman does some shit like that then? if a women gets naked and climbs into your bed and says "i dont want to have sex" thats your problem and you cant force yourself on her. IF you do you have some serious serlf control issues. getting horny is a deep drive in men, but not that deep and certainly not stronger than any drug. I have had so much alcohol in me that i black out and remember nothing.. i have never been so horny that i cant help going after a girl, even a naked one.. in my bed. she said she was to tired and didnt want to.. i was abit dissapointed cause i was good to go, but that is life.. any man that says he can't control his urges is fucking weak and deserves to be put into a cell with another man that can't control himself either "Wait! You are saying we have to take responsibility for our actions even though she is asking for it? If she does not want to get raped, then she should stop acting like a fucking slut." The sad thing is that I know some guys in real life that actually believe that statement and would probably call you a whiny feminazi. It is really tragic blaming the victim is more common than it is suppose to be. The majority people actually believe that. The poll, using various examples (of which a girl willingly going into your bed naked, then changing her mind was the most extreme), showed how people increasingly became fine with the notion of forced sex. By the end I think it was something like 70/30 in favor of the girl being to blame for any rape that takes place. It wasn't in some 3rd world country etither, the UK if I remember correctly. Makes you wonder how much worse it is in other countries that don't even acknowledge that men and women are equal. It makes me sick how so many people can believe that it is ever alright to violate another individual's right over their own body. Shows how long the road still is. I don't always praise the TL community as much as others might, but I'm glad to see that at least the majority here respects a women's personhood.
I guess the point the general public was trying to make is that from the girls point of view, it's her fault. But from the guys's perspective, its his fault. It's not that the guy deserves the sex(obviously false), but that the girl is acting like she wants the sex.
I could dress up like kermit the frog and go to high school everyday. I don't deserve to be made fun of from a just perspective. But from my perspective, me getting made fun of is completely my fault.
It's kind of a convoluted sort of logic that exists in communities, and especially in parenting. Although you *shouldn't* conform, your actions define you and if they don't get you what you want because of your actions, it's kinda your fault..
I'm not at all saying that it is the womans fault in the case mentioned. I'm just pointing out that most of the people in the poll would probably side with the woman if she called rape, although they were just trying to make a point out of her actions.
Reading the feminism posts above, feminism is right on target and probably deserves to be said, but a deep shovanist side of me cringes when i see MIND, BODY, AND SPIRIT in caps talking about what rape does. We knew that. Although they do discredit blaming the woman, their is a lesson to be learned to yourself from blaming the woman hypothetically. Do not get into bed naked with a guy if you don't want sex. If you are still deciding you can, but most certainly clothe yourself upon the decision to say no. If its his bed and not yours, perhaps you should go. Dont be reckless.
.On August 23 2012 22:27 Masvidal wrote:
Rape is when a woman decides to have sex with a man, and then at a later time, decides she regrets it and takes legal recourse to assange her shame.
Fixed.
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EPT
