EPTOn June 25 2018 02:54 mahrgell wrote:
Too many numbers, too many numbers.
Too many numbers, too many numbers.
I haven't debuted the new letter based SMV paradigm yet.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 980
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
I haven't debuted the new letter based SMV paradigm yet. | ||
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Ben...
Canada3485 Posts
OkCupid's new thing of telling you about people who liked you and sent you messages really sucks too. Someone liked me and sent me one a month ago when I wasn't really looking back then but I saw it, so now if I wanted to like and message them back it'd put me in the awkward place of "haha yeah I totally saw your message a month ago but I didn't want to talk to you then but I do now?". Kinda weird. I'm guessing my indifference to all this is probably a good indication that I'm not actually ready to get back into dating yet. | ||
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On June 25 2018 09:45 Ben... wrote: I find I really don't like the number stuff they show now on Tinder and Bumble (the waiting matches stuff). I get that it's supposed to make people want the premium stuff but I wish it could be disabled. It's not so bad on tinder because it just says I have 10+ matches waiting or whatever and one blurry picture but on Bumble they show the 3 most recent likes and I feel like I spend half my time on it trying to figure out if the person I am looking at has swiped right or not and would I swipe right on them knowing they swiped right. It kinda ruins the mystery, which sucks, because in general I find that the quality of people on Bumble seems a lot better. I liked how Tinder was a couple years ago more. OkCupid's new thing of telling you about people who liked you and sent you messages really sucks too. Someone liked me and sent me one a month ago when I wasn't really looking back then but I saw it, so now if I wanted to like and message them back it'd put me in the awkward place of "haha yeah I totally saw your message a month ago but I didn't want to talk to you then but I do now?". Kinda weird. I'm guessing my indifference to all this is probably a good indication that I'm not actually ready to get back into dating yet. Hmm...tbh I don't find I change my swiping standards regardless so it doesn't matter to me. I love it on Tinder because it gives me some idea of what to expect when I swipe. Don't use OKC though. It's pretty weak in my area from what I remember last I tried. | ||
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
![[image loading]](https://i.imgur.com/HHnhyIb.jpg) ![[image loading]](https://i.imgur.com/THNGGs7.jpg) It's my goal over the next few weeks to really try and get a solid slate of decent photos, so I'm looking for advice on what I can do better for profile photos, as well as recommendations on what else to include. | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10666 Posts
On the real though I’d suggest taking photos that make u look more natural. Looks like ur taking photos against ur will and going off for auction or something lol. Smile more and look happy. As someone as good looking as u, u sure even the playing field a lot with the way u take ur photos. I say this with love ofc ❤️❤️ | ||
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On June 26 2018 06:03 Emnjay808 wrote: We get it Lmaster ur a stud. On the real though I’d suggest taking photos that make u look more natural. Looks like ur taking photos against ur will and going off for auction or something lol. Smile more and look happy. As someone as good looking as u, u sure even the playing field a lot with the way u take ur photos. I say this with love ofc ❤️❤️ Haha only from the front angle!. My side profile really is definitely average: ![[image loading]](https://i.imgur.com/LSv5o5u.jpg?1) TBH, I don't look that great in photos where I'm smiling. I really think it's a significant hit to my looks. That said, from what I understand smiling by itself isn't inherently helpful; but looking approachable is. Things like this and this are known to be effective pictures, but I may be giving off a different vibe than this guy: ![[image loading]](http://personaldatingassistants.com/wp-content/uploads/elementor/thumbs/nosmile-lookaway-n60tnhw905n9umtue0wyv7d99i0x0zjdqdxu8ovdmg.jpg) ![[image loading]](http://personaldatingassistants.com/wp-content/uploads/elementor/thumbs/no-smile-lookat-n60q0lvbbogv5eyboy475qfjcx5w6awyqjkrgkxy2g.jpg) Comments like yours are routine, so something is off from say what the guy above is doing...but I don't know what. | ||
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IgnE
United States7684 Posts
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On June 26 2018 06:51 IgnE wrote: go outside and take the photos. its summer after all Yea, I could definitely benefit from a good shot like that. I've figured out some places with good lighting indoors, but not as adept with that outside. Good excuse to play around with photography though. | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10666 Posts
On June 26 2018 06:15 L_Master wrote: Haha only from the front angle!. My side profile really is definitely average: TBH, I don't look that great in photos where I'm smiling. I really think it's a significant hit to my looks. That said, from what I understand smiling by itself isn't inherently helpful; but looking approachable is. Things like this and this are known to be effective pictures, but I may be giving off a different vibe than this guy: Comments like yours are routine, so something is off from say what the guy above is doing...but I don't know what. the difference is that guy looks like hes posing for portfolio headshots or modeling for a fashion line (leather bag strap gives it away) you, on the other hand, are just "posing" with a crew shirt. id say if you have a friend in photography you guys need to find some places to do shots. thats prolly the best way to utilize ur looks. this approach can be a double edged sword. i see this in lots of women with EXTREMELY good photographs but in person it doesnt translate well at all and often the date is already off to a bad start. just my opinion. do u have a dog? pics of playing with ur dog always works dont be afraid to show your "bad side" as well. i think tahts why i always look for girls with naturally taken shots, because theres less things they hide. i find it very attractive when a girl isnt afraid to show all sides of her, it means shes confident with her body and not insecure. | ||
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Acrofales
Spain18487 Posts
I said low ceiling, but mb you're just really tall? You might want to make that clearer in your pics. I also agree with going for more natural settings and less obviously posing. | ||
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Excludos
Norway8281 Posts
On June 26 2018 15:56 Acrofales wrote: Another difference is that guy is up against a wall, and not in some rather uninteresting room with either a freakishly low ceiling or a random lamp behind him :p I said low ceiling, but mb you're just really tall? You might want to make that clearer in your pics. I also agree with going for more natural settings and less obviously posing. A mixture of both is good. I'd say get a good photographer to do one posed shot as your first picture, and then follow it up with a series of natural ones. That way you got a good one to grab people's attention, while simultaneously not trying to hide your bad sides. | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
You could probably go to the bouldering gym and take some nice pictures or if you you're good at table tennis try get a nice picture of you playing while maintaining a professional and relaxed aura. Which imo isn't easy with the sport. Apart from that you could make a picture where you look even more like Elon musk and use it for a joke or two. Also don't do garage pics as the others pointed out | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Smile WITH TEETH! Try to get some slightly more enjoyable background. Better lighting, it's overexposed right now. Step back from the camera a few. It's easier if you just film yourself and grab a screenshot.  | ||
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sc-darkness
856 Posts
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On June 27 2018 00:46 bloodwhore~ wrote: Same comments like I gave last time apply here. Smile WITH TEETH! Try to get some slightly more enjoyable background. Better lighting, it's overexposed right now. Step back from the camera a few. It's easier if you just film yourself and grab a screenshot. That's a really good idea! Damn that I didn't think of that myself. I mentioned before about the smile, from everything I've ever seen or read smiling isn't inherently more successful. For me, my smile brings me down significantly. Every once in a while I get a rare picture where I look okay when I smile, but for me smiling generally makes my face seemed bloated and chubby, is a little crooked, and teeth aren't as white as they could be. I don't look bad when I smile. I do however look at least a point worse than when not smiling. If I can get a good smiling picture it would be good to have in my profile I'd agree...but it's not something I'd ever want as a profile or lead pic. On June 27 2018 02:05 sc-darkness wrote: No need for more photos, L_Master. Emnjay808 clearly wants you. :D TL Dating. Real relationships are found here  | ||
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sc-darkness
856 Posts
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Plansix
United States60190 Posts
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Emnjay808
United States10666 Posts
Also a few of my girl coworkers just use tinder cause they’re bored and never actually go through with a date almost ever. | ||
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On June 27 2018 06:50 Plansix wrote: Strong recommendation to folks, learn to take a selfie or have someone who knows how to selfie take a photo of you when you are out. Some of the photos sort of look like they were framed by a robot that only vaguely understands what makes a human attractive to another human. Selfie taking is a skill that is cultivated over time. Photography is, in fact, a bit of a challenge. Some of my photos, or some of the photos you've seen. I'm pretty confident those are solid photos for conveying attractiveness facially, but the setting and other aspects of the photo are highly circumspect. If you disagree, I'd love to hear the argument as to why. On June 27 2018 06:28 sc-darkness wrote: I wish girls on Tinder were more serious... 2 accepted a date, then one of them went silent, while the other one has just unmatched me. At least I had a good connection with one of them but no idea what has changed. I intend to get better photos but if I get a weekend without rain. That's Tinder for you at sub 8 looks level. Be interesting to see what sort of conversation you had, but short of being ridiculously attractive that will always happen to you. They have tons of options, and no real incentive to meet you over the hundreds of other guys or just general life activities out there. Unless the girl obviously just finds you crazzzyyy attractive it's basically a crap-shoot whether or not you can get a date. Very few girls will make plans the day of or even next day, and if you get long term plans in my experience that always means " IF I remember 6 days from now and IF I haven't had any other more interesting guys contact me and IF I haven't had any cool offers to go out go up then yea I'd go out with you". Now, it's possible my messaging or other things just sucks, but at the same time I'm far from the only guy that experiences that. I should actually log it but if I had to guess it's like 30% of matches respond 50% of those I get more than a monosyllabic answer that allows some conversation to continue 30% of those will actually make some sort of plans/seem interested in meeting up 20% of those will actually meet up. So of course if you have 100 matches that means: 30 replies 15 conversations 5 interested in meeting up 1 actual meet up That feels about right to me, I'd guess for every 50-100 matches I probably get one actual meet up. I probably lose a little in meet up department because I tend to skip easy meet ups like coffee or something like that; because tbh I'm not really trying to set a "looking for an LTR" frame...because I'm not, though I very much like the idea of finding a girl so much that I decide I want LTR with this girl. Start to move up the looks scale to higher 7 or an 8 and things get quite a bit nicer though. For people in that range, Tinder has got to be one of the most glorious things ever. | ||
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sc-darkness
856 Posts
I think I feel a bit better now. Also, I think I'm improving myself slowly to become a more interesting and funny person, so it's not completely negative experience with Tinder. | ||
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