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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18866 Posts
June 03 2016 15:17 GMT
#16921
Yeah, I forgot to mention that. It may very well be the case that a hug here is more akin to a peck in your neck of the woods. Such is the risk we take with an international board
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
Volband
Profile Joined March 2011
Hungary6034 Posts
June 03 2016 15:27 GMT
#16922
Yeah, to be fair the question was a bit stupid itself. The hard part is actually pulling through with whatever you have in mind and not make it awkward. Whatever, that's just nitpicking anyway. I can't possibly do anything which would scare her away immidietly. :D
GoTuNk!
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
Chile4591 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-06-03 15:40:39
June 03 2016 15:39 GMT
#16923
On June 04 2016 00:15 Volband wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 04 2016 00:05 Paljas wrote:
i recommend this
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialist_fraternal_kiss

Well, she actually lived in that era, so...

But jokes aside, are you guys sure this hug thing is not just an American thing? I mean, to me, it's a rather affectionate gesture, much more serious than a peck or two.


I can confirm in Chile you greet people of the opposite sex with a peck on the cheek. Back when I traveled to the U.S (6 years ago?) it took me a bit to realize you greet woman strangers with a handshake there (lol) and that a peck is more personal. Hugs are for friends.
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
June 03 2016 16:05 GMT
#16924
On June 03 2016 23:04 farvacola wrote:
"older women are realists"

nope, "older women" as a class are too diverse to label this way. Besides, "realist" is basically a useless term anyways.

I mean they will have more experience inevitably, they've lived what real relationships and vast majority of the time will see them more realistically than your average 20year old
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
June 03 2016 16:10 GMT
#16925
On June 03 2016 23:36 Volband wrote:
Yeah, will see. Gonna overdose myself on energy drink and see how well I can present myself when it really matters.

Question: what's the appropriate greeting when you meet with a stranger after hooking up online? Do you go for kissing the cheek or shaking hands? Swear to God, this will be the hardest part of the day/night, alongside with me trying to make inquiries at the end if she'd be up for another date or not - unless I felt it went absolutely terrible, like we were watching each other silently for 1 hour, but come on now.

Do not drink energy drinks! Also don't think too much about how you present yourself, just be honest and act like you normally do.

I'd recommend a quick hug always, not too forceful but shows romantic intentions.

Also never ask if she's up for another date, there's no point in that - just focus on the present moment and don't distract yourself with the future. Just say your goodbyes or just walk away.

And then when you feel like it text or call her that you'd like to see her again and that she should tell you when she's free.
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
June 03 2016 16:22 GMT
#16926
On June 04 2016 00:12 Jockmcplop wrote:Rejected haha.
Rejected fairly nicely though so my self esteem lives to see another day.

Wasn't that bad was it? Now do it again!
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
Volband
Profile Joined March 2011
Hungary6034 Posts
June 03 2016 17:18 GMT
#16927
!!EMERGENCY!! What the fuck guys I'M coming back... anyway, no time for details, I accidentally met with girl number 2 (you know, the one all over the place). I instantly recognized her, though she was chubbier than in the pictures, but when I looked back at her she turned her head. All right, I got it. But then 1 min later she called me if it was me, blahblah and she said well now she's free for... yeah, she's free. Obviously I'm dropping a shower, and she said we can meet anywhere now cuz it's not a date yet, but still, what the fuck am I doing?

Be me? Is she crazy? Damn, I hate when I have no time to plan ahead, I said I'll be there in 40 mins.. from now. I don't even have an energy drink at me - yes, it helps, come on now, I don'T drink coffee.

HELP
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
June 03 2016 17:27 GMT
#16928
RELAX.

I say go for it, however I don't agree that it "wouldn't be a date". Ignore the crazy shit for now, no time for that.

Take a shower, meet up, give her a hug when you meet her, go on the walk or whatever you had planned, talk and have fun.

Don't do anything stupid, drink some water and relax.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
Volband
Profile Joined March 2011
Hungary6034 Posts
June 03 2016 17:39 GMT
#16929
Strawberry or menthol chewing gum? Do I bring up the word "date" in any possible way? Do I ask her if she'd like something to drink? Right now I could talk for 100 days straight; should I go for it and be energetic, or should I keep pauses if she can't seem to interject anything?
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-06-03 17:53:23
June 03 2016 17:51 GMT
#16930
On June 04 2016 02:39 Volband wrote:
Strawberry or menthol chewing gum? Do I bring up the word "date" in any possible way? Do I ask her if she'd like something to drink? Right now I could talk for 100 days straight; should I go for it and be energetic, or should I keep pauses if she can't seem to interject anything?

Relax, and focus on asking her questions and finding stuff about her
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
DickMcFanny
Profile Blog Joined September 2015
Ireland1076 Posts
June 03 2016 18:03 GMT
#16931
On June 04 2016 02:39 Volband wrote:
Strawberry or menthol chewing gum? Do I bring up the word "date" in any possible way? Do I ask her if she'd like something to drink? Right now I could talk for 100 days straight; should I go for it and be energetic, or should I keep pauses if she can't seem to interject anything?


Be inquisitive and friendly. Don't let on that you're a human being. Absolutely make some sort of physical contact during the first date, or there won't be a second one.
| (• ◡•)|╯ ╰(❍ᴥ❍ʋ)
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
June 03 2016 19:02 GMT
#16932
On June 04 2016 03:03 DickMcFanny wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 04 2016 02:39 Volband wrote:
Strawberry or menthol chewing gum? Do I bring up the word "date" in any possible way? Do I ask her if she'd like something to drink? Right now I could talk for 100 days straight; should I go for it and be energetic, or should I keep pauses if she can't seem to interject anything?

Don't let on that you're a human being.

haha what? Should you let on that you're a sex alien sent from space to rock her world?
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
Jealous
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
10353 Posts
June 03 2016 19:39 GMT
#16933
On June 04 2016 02:18 Volband wrote:
!!EMERGENCY!! What the fuck guys I'M coming back... anyway, no time for details, I accidentally met with girl number 2 (you know, the one all over the place). I instantly recognized her, though she was chubbier than in the pictures, but when I looked back at her she turned her head. All right, I got it. But then 1 min later she called me if it was me, blahblah and she said well now she's free for... yeah, she's free. Obviously I'm dropping a shower, and she said we can meet anywhere now cuz it's not a date yet, but still, what the fuck am I doing?

Be me? Is she crazy? Damn, I hate when I have no time to plan ahead, I said I'll be there in 40 mins.. from now. I don't even have an energy drink at me - yes, it helps, come on now, I don'T drink coffee.

HELP

Wow bro. Calm down lol. It's a female and you are meeting with her, this happens to billions of people around the world on a daily basis, you don't need to have it planned and scheduled like a military timetable. Strawberry or mint gum? Lol, whichever one you like more, I guarantee it won't make much difference to her.
"The right to vote is only the oar of the slaveship, I wanna be free." -- бум бум сучка!
Dark_Chill
Profile Joined May 2011
Canada3353 Posts
June 03 2016 22:46 GMT
#16934
This is amazing, ty Volband.
I don't know if this is too late by now, but just relax, don't try and force anything. If everything is going fine on a walk, you don't have to force things over to drinks. If you do go for drinks, you don't have to force things to somewhere else. Looking unrelaxed isn't a good thing.
CUTE MAKES RIGHT
TheDougler
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada8313 Posts
June 03 2016 22:58 GMT
#16935
BOOM BABY! It ain't over till its over fam!

She said she didn't want a relationship. I played it cool, asked if she wanted to just be friends (she's a SUPER cool chick, and would even be an awesome study buddy tbh). So we go to have our breakup moving towards being friends convo...

BUT NOPE! I start getting these mixed signals that just don't make sense. So I just ask her what's going on, why did we break up, what's on your mind? Figured it out . Don't want to disclose it here, wouldn't be fair to her. I told her we'd work through it. What matters is I'm into her, she's into me, if we've got that then we can figure out the rest. She liked that. She liked that a lot.

Think that's its for me on here for a while fam. Thanks for all the advice and the words of support. Means a lot.

Good luck out there fellas!
I root for Euro Zergs, NA Protoss* and Korean Terrans. (Any North American who has beat a Korean Pro as Protoss counts as NA Toss)
Uldridge
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Belgium5195 Posts
June 04 2016 00:04 GMT
#16936
Nice one, don't be a stranger on this thread man, it's always fun here imo :D
Taxes are for Terrans
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46245 Posts
June 04 2016 00:13 GMT
#16937
Volband, I'm going to just reiterate what's been said here ten times already and RELAX. Calm down lol.

Let us know how it goes
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Volband
Profile Joined March 2011
Hungary6034 Posts
June 04 2016 02:01 GMT
#16938
All right brothers, I am sorry I made such a big fuss about it, because turns out, she is absolutely neurotic. I mean, your encouragement and small last minute advices still helped, but you'd probably expect a story of "thanks TL, I just met my wife" and not "thanks TL, fingerbanged a crazy in public". Given the circumstances, I can say it was a great experience, but I am pretty sure this is where I have to draw the line with her. Right now, we both left each other in a better place than before we met, but I had plenty of times during the years to read about "don't put your dick in crazy" stories to know it's 95% it should be over. I would not be against further exploring, but actual sex is completely out of the question.

I need to sleep on this though to assess where I'm at now. Maybe write more in details once it's not 4 am, but I rather not write a complete summary of the night because I don't want to disrespect her - nor to trigger some people. My arm is fucking broken anyway; no one told me it's this tiring.

Anyway, you know your night was trashy when you have pussy blood on your T-shirt. Also, I think so far I passed "getting out of my comfort zone" with flying colors. To think how we crossed path today by accident...
Uldridge
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Belgium5195 Posts
June 04 2016 02:10 GMT
#16939
Well at least you got a kind of great/crazy/funny story out of it
Taxes are for Terrans
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17922 Posts
June 04 2016 05:45 GMT
#16940
girl says shed never date me(never really brought it up tho) cause im not her type, wants to hang out and go eat

what does this mean idk.
weve never even met
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
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