Dating: How's your luck? - Page 848

I need to sleep on this though to assess where I'm at now. Maybe write more in details once it's not 4 am, but I rather not write a complete summary of the night because I don't want to disrespect her - nor to trigger some people. My arm is fucking broken anyway; no one told me it's this tiring.

On June 04 2016 11:01 Volband wrote:
"thanks TL, fingerbanged a crazy in public".
Anyway, you know your night was trashy when you have pussy blood on your T-shirt. Also, I think so far I passed "getting out of my comfort zone" with flying colors. To think how we crossed path today by accident...

On June 05 2016 04:13 IgnE wrote:
Two vaginas? What?

On June 05 2016 05:10 GoTuNk! wrote:
Should be a sticky story in the general. I'm def not clicking the link above.

On June 05 2016 03:35 Volband wrote:
All right, let's give this a try. First of all, let me start with the absolute saddest part of the night which almost made me cry. On my way home, there was a cat who probably got hit by a car, because it was dragging its back limbs. A beautiful, white cat, and as I slowly tried to approach it, it kept looking at me, while trying to paw its way to safety. I really wanted to just go there and give the little guy some hug before it dies, but I had to cross to the other side of the street, because I knew it would just try to run away faster if I approached it, and that would hurt it even more.

Second of all, let's get her mental problems sorted out in one paragraph (which became 3, good job), because I don't want to interrupt this story 20 times about how "that was the point I knew...". + Show Spoiler +

Okay, onto the actual tale. We got matched on badoo, where I just press "1" as many times I'm allowed within the free service each day and move on, I can hardly be bothered to invest in these online dating sites. Badoo is lame. There is a sexdate site, it was good for my vanity that I got "offers", but would not go through with any of it - felt like going to prostitutes who don't charge anything. And there is a more serious dating site, where I sent out some letters, got some answers, but it's so meh. There was ONE girl who seemed really cute and I even took the extra effort to put together a great and funny first letter. She saw it. No replies. All right, then. :D
Anyway, the conversation with this badoo girl ended up quite badly, because I tried to meet her asap, for reasons we talked about in the previous pages, but she was impossible to read, so eventually it ended with her saying she'll message me, which I pretty much took for a "get lost", cuz she was getting like 10 new Fbook friends a day.

But there I was yesterday, coming from work in my least desirable look possible. I slept like 4 hours, worked (well, rather, sat) for 11 hours and all I wanted to do is buy a small Coke (0,33 - pepsi master race btw, but it's not sold here in my city in that edition), go home, eat, fuck myself up in Hearthstone and sleep. The first shop I wanted to go in was closed and in the second two people were ahead of me in line. It is sooo strange thinking about if one of them was not there, then yesterday would not happen. I swear, that's the most fascinating stuff about yesterday.

Anyway, there I am, in my work uniform, which doesn't look bad, I have 4 blue cool uniforms but that day I chose the lame yellow one. There is a huge backpack on me. I'm carrying my laptop in a case which seems like it was around during WW1 (look for it in BF1). I was 2 minutes away from home and I was singing whatever my mp4 player had on that time. A bicyclist went by me and I was looking at her, because I could not decide if she was phoning or she just liked to cycle with one hand. I was so tired that even after she went by it would took me a good second to turn my head ahead, but that was enough to get a glimpse of the girl who was just coming across the zebra. I knew right away it was her, despite being more chubby, looked back at her, but she seemingly turned her head or did not recognize me. Oh well, did not want to make her uncomfortable, so I did not pursue it, but 2 minutes later when I arrived home, I immediately wanted to message her that I saw her! However, she was faster, because she already called me.

You know the next part of the story. Fast shower (will be important), cut my nails, and I don't know how I did it, but possibly for the first time in my life, I managed to cut it without making rough edges. I guess it goes without saying that it became pretty important too.

We met at a supermarket, because that's where she was and it was 2 minutes from me or less. You told me to relax, and I was relaxed, but I still tried to make my best impression, so I tried to show my best side, and did not even have to try too much. I was energetic! Thanks Coke. She was not, however. She told me I can speak more quietly (I'm a very loud speaker when excited... which I guess made me not relaxed? I don't know, I had no fear in me) and slowly. She said she's usually like me, but I don't know what pill she took which just tranquilized her. All riiiight. After 5 minutes she already told me about her condition, conditions. Too much information if you ask me, but all right. Another 5 minutes later she asked me if it would be weird if she'd like to hug me - yeah, fuck my life, why not, I can't get back at you guys with saying I ran away just because I saw 14 red flags in 10 minutes! I ain't no pussy! But when she hinted she could not afford a cereal, because most of her money was at her home... yeaaaaaaaaaaaah, I did not want to enlighten her that I am not as stupid as I may look when I just goof around. Not sure why, but I offered to enable her, telling her if we meet again, she pays it back and then it's all square. She eventually said I should put it back, she does not want to owe anyone. Whoooooooooooooooooosh - or so I thought. This girl, who spent 10 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) minutes to decide whether she wants the 1$ or 1.10$ salad, because she knew she had limited money, this girl fucking put me on the spot at the cashier, when the one thing I bought, a banana, 0.40$, she threw it alongside her stuff and told me it's easier if I pay with my credit card then she gives it back to me afterwards. That completely killed my good mood, but I was not going to make a scene for such a pitiful amount of money, it was not the thing that bothered me anyway. When we left and she opened her purse... almost dead empty. She told me 20 times she can't buy anything, she had to fit it into her budget and at the end she wanted to spend 3 times more she actually had on her. At that point I switched to observer-mode.

She told me to meet the next day, she'd come anyway and then she pays me back, but why would I even care at that point? Who doesn't know how much money they have on them? Give me a break. I just said "ok" and contemplated strangling her. Not really though, I was just disappointed. We sit down not far from the supermarket, she starts to eat and talk about herself. PTSD from living with or even just visiting my mother nowadays, where I just sit down and she talks on and on with herself. She says something, asks herself about it, discuss it with herself and makes a verdict. Nothing new to me, but boy, is that fucking boring and tiring to listen to. Then she brought up that soft-rape story and how people always took advantage of her, but she still went into some details. Like... make up your mind. Either say you were abused to try to make me sympathize with you, or tell me how you sucked many dicks and were with older men if you want to awake the beast hungry pup inside me. What am I supposed to do with both of them at once?! Get turned on and feel bad about it? Was not entirely sure about her aim there. But I fully realized I'm in the middle of some crazy game, and there was no way in Hell I would not wanted to participate.

After thinking about where exactly do I want to try to navigate this thing while listening to her contradicting herself with every other sentence of hers, I decided the best will be to test the waters asap. No fucking romantic walks and deep discussions - she's not normal so approaching the normal way seemed rather meh. I was thinking about drinking some alcoholic beverage, but thank God in the end we just bought 1-1 beer, and she only drank half of hers. It was much better this way.

I told her to walk into the big park of our city. I don't even need to say it, you guys must already know it's a big ass area with trees, benches and absolutely no lighting. We talk, she even mentioned how she was with one or two people who had no experience before, but I did not say anything, did not want to tell it to her yet, because I was still not sure how morally acceptable it would be if anything happened. So, we sit down on a bench and just talk. The first convo with his father happened that time; she told him she'll be home around 22:45, as her last bus goes at 22:30. I felt soo shitty. I both wanted to be an opportunist and use this as a learning experience and be a knight in shining armor who sends home this poor soul.

Then I realized I was not even sure if I could take advantage of her. Like, she barely said anything that would imply it - yes, she obviously knew I brought her to a quasi sex dungeon, but I already knew her enough to not expect logic in the way she acts. So, after much hesitation, I put my arms around her. Before you applaud me, I have to disappoint you, I did ask her afterwards if it bothers her. I KNOW. I. KNOW. I swear guys when I'll be a similar situation with a normal girl, I won't ask shit, but she was like the tutorial map in video games. The only map where you can still be retarded and not lose, so I just used this opportunity. Also, I tried to be mindful of her too - as much as I call her crazy and stuff, as a person, I do like her.

Some time around that I dropped the "I'm inexperienced" card, which had the expected results of me being bombarded with questions. I honestly don't know if I should ever bring this up in a normal date. "How come [you're still a virgin]?!" - retarded question for 1000 please. There was some lame ass "I think you're hot" back-and-forth conversation which I would not bore you with, however, once again, I was the CUTE one. I'm always cute, seriously. I get that I could be more dominant, but man, do I have to turn into a fucking lumberjack? Right now I'd rather just remain the cute one and fish for girls who are attracted to that. I'm an emotional person anyway, so even if I tried to sell myself as Conan, the Barbarian it could only work for one night stands at best. Also, I'm 167 cm, a goddamned hobbit, I'm at some serious disadvantage here, guys.

Next scene, she asked me if I can massage her. I told her no, and went home. ... ... Yeah, damn right I can. My hands are soft like a newborn baby's, but what else am I supposed to say when someone asks me to touch her. To be fair, jokes aside, I think I do a damn nice massage. Uhm, got a bit derailed. So yeah, obviously this was my go to chance to wander with my hands, but man, I am in a public place, sober, and I have to decide if I want to grab that ass or boobie or not. All I know is that I play Tirion at 8 if I can. I started kissing her neck instead, first pecks like I'm some mentally disabled bird, then eventually turned it up to be more sensual once I gained some confidence. All right, nice and all, but how am I going to advance - would she even be OK with that? I don't know how I actually did it, I know I asked a LOT of questions, mainly at the beginning, because somewhere around the middle of this fling she told me that I should not ask these questions, I should get the feedback from her responses. Yeah. Fuck you. Do you see what I was talking about? She is a damn wreck 80% of the time, but when she's not, she's way above me confidence-wise. I should feel it... the fuck am I supposed to feel in the almost pitch dark? Yeah, moans are a good sign, okay, and when you're not moaning? What? WHAT?!

Not sure how, but I did end up playing with her boobs and ass. She told me I can squeeze the latter real hard. I felt bad initially squeezing my life power into it, but she seemed to enjoy it, so yeah. With everything though, I did manage to end up on the too rough side. Basically, with every part of her she said once "that's too much". Yeah, why can't you just tell it beforehand? I don't get it, how are you supposed to get it on with someone you are not in tutorial mode with but for the first time? If I don't squeeze that ass, she won't enjoy it, but I bet if I do, then she'll be the type who doesn't like it squeezed too much. I guess you have to go slowly? I heard about that word before...

This is the point where I should probably describe her. She was 160cm and... I don't know, she was chubby. Not repelling chubby, like, I get absolutely turned off from glasses and overweight girls (to each their own, right?), but she still looked pretty. Undoubtedly needed to lose weight though, I saw her younger pictures, before the pills, and she was almost skinnier than me. And I'm a skeleton. The reason I'm telling this, because she had enormous boobs. I always said, that I would not care about the size of boobs. Small boobs are often much prettier for me on a girl than bigger ones. And it's probably still true, but my world, the feeling of touching and playing with those. That was hot, especially her big nipples. I eventually sucked on those and it was nice, I can confirm. I channeled my inner sex god and even fully utilized my tongue on her nipples and she seemed to rather enjoy it. I did squeeze those too much at one time, as I said. Also, she enjoyed it more when I held her boobs from under, than when I just randomly squeezed it. Aside from this, she let me grab and squeeze her bottom even under her panties.

"Hey Volband, before you go further, how about you, not forget to mention the kissing part?". Very good question. Except there was NOTHING. I wanted to taste her beer and she said sorry, but she's prone to get infections so she really would not like to drink from the same bottle as someone else, but she gladly pours over into mine. Can you fucking imagine my face? Can you? No, you can't. You follow me to a place where people could literally rape you and get away with it, but I can't drink from your bottle, WHAT? Wh-- I was not even mad, I actually respected her for sticking to her few values she had left. She also said it's the same with kissing, and that it's more... intimate. I mean... nevermind, I had nothing to say. All I knew is that I did not want to force anything onto her, even if it made 000000000 sense. When I tried to get into her panties from the front, she also stopped me. All right, I guess it's too fast for her. Nope. Can you guess it? Can you?!?! I need to wash my hands. All right, shoot me right there, I just showered, cut my nails and the only stuff I touched were a banana and a beer bottle (not glass). Am I going into the Hadron Collider or what?

Still, she said no, but there's a water tap nearby, so maybe, but no, maybe it's too fast, etc, so she got rolling and I just said all right, all right. We fondled some more, the second phone call happened with her father, that was when I thought about leaving, but as I said, on one hand, I did not feel I would be the literal Antichrist if I'd continue this, and on the other... I felt way too turned on, and as much as I can sympathize with others, I can be extremely selfish too. And I wanted to have a good, period - would not have forced anything, but that was my only restriction upon myself.

Some therapy session followed, because she got a bit depressed from the phone call, but then we kissed, eyoo. So, this was my second kiss, but it was nothing like the first girl I did it before. I enjoyed it more the first time, because I was actually in love with that girl, but with her it was like... I don't know how, we often knocked our teeth, and it was like... how do you even describe a kiss. It was really intimate, but firm - we tongued, but it felt a bit mellow too. I have no idea; not too long ago we started to talk again, and we discussed this too, and she said she tried to start it slower, but i just marched right in. Oops.
This one, however, we had no knocks at all, despite me having braces this time. The kisses were muuuch wider, and the tongues went all the way in. It did not feel as intimate, more like... perverted. She did stop me numerous time, though, explaining how I should do it - which I did not mind, it was actually funny, like, "JESUS, WHAT DID I DO AGAIN?!". She said I should not use my jaw so much (or with so much power), and it should be similar to how I eat the nut of a peach or how I eat (not lick) an ice cream. I think I got better, but honestly, it did not do much for me. It felt dirty, but that's all. I did have fun being more aggressive though, like pulling her hair during it and stuff. She told me though not to actually rip them out. Whoops.

She was much less active and later (after she came) she said it's harder for her to please others, not the exact words, anyway, bullshit or not, she did do stuff. I could almost get her to touch it (talking about the peepee guys) even under my underwear, which she almost always responded to with that it would be too fast for her, but one time while we were at it she asked me if it was shaved. Yeah, it was already a wonder that the stars had alligned the way they did that day, what were the chances that I actually had them shaved? Actually pretty big, considering a month ago or so it seemed like I can reconcile with the girl I once talked about here, with whom I'd have a serious case of oneitis, and I would've done the deed (of shaving), but since it fell through, it remained as it is. If it's more comfortable this way, I'm not going to torture myself in hopes of someone literally falls on my dick. *sigh*

However, and this was probably in the top 3 useful discoveries of yesterday, I learned about my most likely biggest erogenous zone, my neck. I got my hair, face, dick, ass, stomach, leg touched or kissed in one way or another, some were nice, some were meh, but when she tried to go for my neck... what the hell, man. I swear, in ways, it felt better than an orgasm. I had to pull away after just a few second, because the sensation was unbearable. It also started making me horny in ways I've never been before. I did not want to have sex with her, due to the red flags, but touch my neck and I would find a way to screw a statue as well. It took my will to its knees in a matter of half a second. It was some seriously primal stuff, which was even scary a bit. I don't know, I could probably try to write about it twice as much as I've already written altogether, I'm just gonna assume you know what I meant.

Maybe my enthusiasm gained from this delirious state was what turned her on so much that she fancied the diea of going further, I don't know, but I still had to wash my hands. She poured water on my hand and mainly fingers and told me to wash it properly. Seriously, did it matter? 1.5 dl (5.0721 US fluid ounce, you are welcome boys) water will no way makes the difference in whether you get infected or not. If I had stuff on me, it would've been under my nail anyway. Oh well, she was dead serious about it, so I obliged.

Not sure how many readers I have left at this point, but hooray, you probably arrived to the part you were awaiting the most! First time wandering into the gates. I was prepared, guys. I really was. I read 1 million times that people thought the pussy was way higher than it actually is. I knew it all. I was an expert. Or so I thought, because goddamn, that shit is not where I imagined at all. Who put it there and why? Makes no sense. And it felt so weird.... I mean, it was dark, but it was not sexy at first all, I mean the feeling. Layers of flesh on the outside, I kept thinking I'm about to eat some kind of exotic sea stuff or I don't know. It was also hot, like way too hot. I was fooling around on the outside, I think I found the clit too, but had no idea what I'm doing, so I tried to search for home holes, because I heard there are supposed to be some down there.

Oh, I guess it's high time I tell you that she had two vaginas, or uterus, or both, I don't know. Two wormholes, that's how I'm calling them from now on anyway. I was like, give me a fucking break, I've never even been one before and now I have to handle two? Who changed the tutoriral settings to expert?

Don't worry guys, I managed to fuck up her left wormhole as a talented young individual could. We had to stop once because strangers were coming (oh yeah, we were still on a bench in a park, 400 meters from us there was some kind of in-house concert, haha), and she said she thinks she's bleeding. Good shit, guys. We checked my hand with my phone and yep. That was blood all right. I felt like some mad scientist.
I was hoping I did not actually murder her, and told her that it might be best to just stop, but she said it happened before and not to worry about it. All right, I told her that I personally have nothing to worry about, so if she says she's fine to continue, I won't second-guess her about her own body.

Forgot to mention that she was lying on her back (duh?), her legs on mine while I was in front of her. We tried other approaches before but that was the most convenient and effective. I tasted the inside liquids (not talking about the blood, though I did lick one dried spot to see if it was blood or dirt.) but it had no taste. Like... nothing. Was a bit sweaty. I thought it would be like honey, but it was literally nothing. What a let down, guys. It's not what I signed up for.
Talking about insides... what the hell is that. It was like being inside a worm. That alone would not have been strange, but there were other stuff there. There was this wormhole with its strange walls, and stuff hanging from the "ceiling", you know what I mean? I remember, one time I felt that I got something between my fingers and I was afraid I'm pulling some sort of skin or something, so I slowed down and asked her if I just killed her inside. She said she has no idea what I was talking about, she did not hurt anywhere and did not feel that I was touching anything else inside. Ooooookie-dokie. Fucking weird, but still not my body.

She was close to cumming before the strangers came, and when we were about to resume, she kept telling me to get it into both (vaginal) holes. Girls with double stuff down there, if you are reading this: I appreciate that you try to show me how to hold my fingers to be able to get into both holes, but be sure to mention if you mean my hands to me vertical or horizontal. I kept trying it vertically, and even though she kept telling me there are TWO holes there, every time I tried to find both she had to stop me because I hurt her. I was legit at a point where I was thinking about ridiculing the situtation, like how silly this conversation is, but I wanted to make her cum, so went with the flow. Eventually we settled with the one hole on the right (which was left to me, which resulted in some more pain. oops) and three fingers seemed to be the winner. But wait. She told me to do it fast, but not in-and.out fast, just do it fast while keeping it in the inside, and do it with all my strength, but don't hit the wall. Instructions of the lifetime. I mean, it made sense once I realized that the vagina is not an entirely straight tube, so I don't have to tear through that wall, but come on now, I was as lost as a person could possibly be at the start.

Also, she wanted me to work on her clit too. BITCH I NEVER EVEN SEEN ONE. Lower. Right. Lower. Upper. There! Stronger! Softer! Faster! Not so fast! Seriously, just shoot me right there, I did not even see shit and I'm trying to do all the possible speed and power limits on something I can't even see, while my right hand (which still hurts) wants to fall off. I told her that maybe she could handle her clit, which she first refused, then tried it, but said it was better when I did it. Fuck you. Since I already licked my fingers, if she had any STD like herpes I was already fucked, so I tried eating out as well. Interesting, though I enjoyed it. Breathing techniques definitely needed.

Her vagina (or what) started to close in on my fingers as she apparently got closer to cum. My ring finger is still under PTSD because the he got the short end of the wall closing. I'm surprised I did not fracture it. Like a real life meat grinder.
Guys, when I say my arm was getting unbearably numb, I'm not kidding. If it was not for my pride, I would've just said fuck this. I was hungry, dehydrated, I was so done with it. But she kept saying it's not that far now. Time is relative depending on which side you are on; the laying on your backside, or the epic multitasking side. I even sucked on her nipples again, which made me break my back, and overall, I was pleasing her on 3 fronts. When she said "JUST LIKE THIS", I knew she was close, and if I learned anything useful from reading stuff, then it was that if she says keep doing what I'm doing, then I should keep doing what I'm doing. Though, te be fair, it was humanly impossible to do it any faster or stronger - that is, if the human in question was me. But she came, and it was hot. Like very fucking hot, as she hugged me after it. I tried to slowly drop the pace and pull out but she did not let me. Wow, all right, sure, I don't feel my right arm anyway, what's a couple of more minutes gonna do.

What I did not mention that during this (not the fingering... -.- please!) we said a bunch of nice things too to each other, so it wasn't some "IMMA BANG U BITCH"-level discussion. After she settled herself, he made it clear that she would not like an actual relationship with anyone, and that she hopes I was aware of that (yes, we fucking talked about it an hour ago :D ), and that she hopes I am not vengeful or anything that she can't give back to me right now (implying jerking me off or something along those line), but it's usually as far as she goes for the first time or less, and we'll meet again anyway, and then... etc. In hindsight, I should've negotiated a co-jointed effort, but I was way too proud and tired to think about that. Goddammit. But I did not, and I calmed her down, saying it was fun for me this way too, I do not expect a reward, it's not like how I view things.

Then she started talking about friendship. Way to go from extreme to another. I made it clear it's not how friendship works, that I just say "yeah, we are bff now", it can't even be forced unlike a blowjob or the likes. I did not want to abuse her, but nor did I want to mislead into thinking I'm her bastion now - not that it would've lasted for long anyway.
I promised her I would walk her back home if she stays after her last bus departed, but I did not think that through. She lived on the opposite end of the city and it was getting cold, while I was tormented by hunger. It was an okay walk though, I feared it might be awkward. Oh, except the part after it DID get awkward. She mentioned that it's her namenaday, so I leaned in for a kiss. Like, a simple kiss, no tongue. She made it into a make-out session, and you know me, I already said it's not the biggest turn on for me; at least not the way we did it. By no means was it bad though, don't get me wrong. Anyway, make-out over and she had the most serious face on. She turned to me and said all right, that's too much, we should be just friends and this kissing thing is not okay.

Whoaaaaaa. I tried to lighten up the mood, but she was like super-duper serious. Yeah, all right, sorry friend, let me run home fast to wash your pussy blood from my hand. She pretty much kept asking me on the last 5 minutes if I'm mad now, and that she hopes... I don't even know, bunch of horseshit, honestly. I told her straight out that I am disappointed a bit, because I thought the physical part of this thing might continue eventually, but I am not mad or vengeful. Tried to cheer her up as much as possible and made sure to make it clear as day that I will not run after her. If she feels she'd like to do something, she'll know where to find me.

Was a bit disapointed for real, but put on a smile and comforted her at the end - she needed it more, than me. Today I really wanted to genuinely ask her if she was all right down there, but I knew that I can't give her attention, so yeah.
As for her honesty, I obviously don't know whether she meant all the stuff she said or not. Like telling me I'm already much better than the average and stuff, BUT I am fairly confident that I did make her cum. First of all, I did not make the mistake of asking her about it while doing it. Also, if it was fake, it had to be one of the kindest acts of faking an orgasm, because I never insisted on making it all the way through, and she kept instructing me on how to do it perfectly right for her. She was also pretty mad when we had to stop, saying "fuck, I was so close...". That's when we saw the blood and I told her that maybe we should stop - because my arm is destroyed, but I did not say that. :D

But I woke up different today. Don't want to overdramatize it, but I just feel like I give less fucks overall. It might be just a fleeting feeling, don't know, just putting it out there.

And now I know, I should've gone with the strawberry gum. Sadly, did not have time to find any of the chewing gums, so toothpaste smell it was.

On June 05 2016 08:08 bloodwhore~ wrote:
That was one hell of roller coaster!

My thoughts while I was reading:
Two vaginas, you fucking wot m8. Looked at the picture and I guess it's possible... The location is fucked up, I agree.

Making out/kissing in general didn't really do anything for me either the first times so I can relate. Girls kiss waaay differently as well I have noticed. First girl I kissed was like all over me, wild making out sessions. Second was just a really amazing kiss. Third was the most normal kisser. Fourth really liked long drawn out kisses sucking each others lips. The Fifth is kind of a mix of all others.

I don't doubt a second that you made her come. Seems like a lot of people on the internet make it out to be super hard to make girls come, has not been the case if you go down on them/target the clit in my limited experience. You would need to have godly control over the body to make the kind of twitching/squirming etc to fool someone.

All in all, that was a really special date. You might be somewhat disappointed if you go on a normal date later

On June 05 2016 15:19 arb wrote:
different girls cum different ways
to think youre an expert because of one is laughable at best.