EPTWhat kind of context led to "I want to watch you sleep"?
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 844
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46686 Posts
What kind of context led to "I want to watch you sleep"? | ||
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Shiragaku
Hong Kong4308 Posts
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Jealous
10415 Posts
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Shiragaku
Hong Kong4308 Posts
I actually feel kind of relieved and excited, but also a bit wary of her now. | ||
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the bear jew
United States3674 Posts
On June 02 2016 10:05 Shiragaku wrote: Is it weird if a girl you have not met wants to see your sleeping face? http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeautifulDreamer Well it is a trope....a little creepy I guess | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On June 02 2016 06:14 the bear jew wrote:That is not how I meant for it to sound. I asked her for another date two days after the one I had. We went out on Friday for first date, texted/chatted with her on Saturday, asked her what she wanted to do for another on Sunday. And at first she says let's watch movies and shows at my house, I got a new TV. I said sure, and mentioned a good sci fi movie since she said she liked sci-fi. 30 minutes later she was like nope, I don't think we will work. Maybe she actually wanted to fuck aka netflix and chill? I dunno, but just gotta keep trying and find the right one. Yeah that's strange. Something might have come up for her. I wouldn't think about it too much, seems like you did everything right. | ||
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the bear jew
United States3674 Posts
On June 02 2016 16:35 bloodwhore~ wrote: Yeah that's strange. Something might have come up for her. I wouldn't think about it too much, seems like you did everything right. Yeah she was a little strange. I'm going to think of it like some dota games. You can do everything right, and still not suceed. Can't get discouraged, just have to try again. Now if only other girl on dating site interested didn't live at other end of state.  | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Yeah she was a little strange. I'm going to think of it like some dota games. You can do everything right, and still not suceed. Can't get discouraged, just have to try again. Now if only other girl on dating site interested didn't live at other end of state. That's a good way of thinking about it in my opinion. I myself see almost all the girls I meet as npc which I date to gain exp from until I find someone I really like. | ||
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Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
deeper stuff (ie. more serious topics) with someone whom we might not even have physical attraction once meeting face to face, but I don't want to come off as too trampling (even if I am). Like, I started talking with this girl today, from my town, who looks nice (duh) and after talking to her a while, I know that I am personally already fine with meeting with her. Edit: also, what's the etiquette when you will meet let's say 1 week from now. It feels weird to keep talking with someone, who might not be interested in you once you meet, but it also feels weird to just ignore said person until your meeting. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46686 Posts
 If she wants one right away, then go for it! Can't you continue to have normal discussions between the day you set the meeting date and the actual meeting date? Just keep having normal conversation. | ||
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Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
I would say the odds of you noticing if she is boring or not will be higher if you chat for more than a day. However, it is equally time consuming that going on a real date, and on a real date you will get a better understanding if you are a match or not. You don't have to go full Lem0n on them and take them on the date of the century. My goto first date is just a 30-90 min walk just talking. End it early if you are not feeling it. Extend it if you feel like you click. So looking at the worst case scenarios: You talk for a week or two before asking her out: + Higher chance of she not being boring. - You have focused on one girl for 1-2 weeks or given her more attention than other girls. - Higher chance that she finds starts talking to someone else during those two weeks. You ask her out within a day or two. + You don't waste a lot of time. + You get to see if she is your type almost immediately. + Talking in real is much more enjoyable than texting. - Higher chance of she not being your type which you could have possibly noticed through chatting. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Edit: also, what's the etiquette when you will meet let's say 1 week from now. It feels weird to keep talking with someone, who might not be interested in you once you meet, but it also feels weird to just ignore said person until your meeting. Well if you have decided a date you can just say "Great, can't wait to see you then." referring to the date. People here (mostly Lem0n) has been telling me to relax on the texting and I have to say I really agree with this idea. If you don't have anything substantial to talk about, don't, it will just feel forced and it will most likely be a boring conversation. | ||
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Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
Like, honestly, some of the girls I talk with seem waaay over my league, so even if we'd hit it off, I'm pretty much prepared for the rejection in the end. I even talk with an older woman as well, like, sometimes I really have no idea what I'm doing exactly, I just hope it'll be helpful in the end. But sure, if our first meeting would go okay, and she'd up for another one, I'd definitely like to invest in that one, or possibly the following ones. | ||
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IgnE
United States7684 Posts
On June 03 2016 02:07 Volband wrote: I suppose I can, I just want to be wary not to make the mistake to like them too much before we meet. Dont listen to DPB he has no idea what he's talking about. Ask out the girl as quickly as you feel comfortable, decide on time and place, then say "lokking forward to it" or equivalent and you dont have to say anything else until the day of when you can make sure everything is still a go. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On June 03 2016 03:00 Volband wrote:Like, honestly, some of the girls I talk with seem waaay over my league, so even if we'd hit it off, I'm pretty much prepared for the rejection in the end. Well stop thinking like this. She may be considered to be out of your league if you would ask 1000 people to rate her x/10 and rate you x/10 then compare the results. That is unimportant, if she is interested in you, then go all in! I mean, you can hardly think she is kinder, more intelligent and objectively a better person than you? If she is all these, then maybe she is out of your league, otherwise she is not. No need to put the girl on a pedestal from day 1. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46686 Posts
On June 03 2016 03:03 IgnE wrote: Dont listen to DPB he has no idea what he's talking about. Plot twist paradox: My new advice is that you should listen to IgnE, because he knows exactly what he's talking about  But in all seriousness, Volband, there's nothing wrong with getting to know someone or talking to them more than once before you officially ask them out. That's standard protocol for 90+% of the dating scene (basically everything besides blind dates). Insisting that you need to ask them out immediately can be tricky and can come across as borderline desperate or rushed. I'm not really sure why IgnE is making such a big deal out of getting to know someone better. Volband, do whatever you're comfortable with doing. It's much more important that you're comfortable, prepared, and confident than to rush into things too soon (or take things too slowly for your liking). I also agree with blood that you need to stop having a defeatist attitude and assume that a girl is too good for you. Any girl that turns you down has missed an amazing opportunity. Period. Amen. | ||
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GaussTransformation
9 Posts
On June 03 2016 04:05 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: I also agree with blood that you need to stop having a defeatist attitude and assume that a girl is too good for you. Any girl that turns you down has missed an amazing opportunity. Period. Amen. Back when I was in my "Nobody could really like me, and they are all too good for me" phase, I at some point learned an important lesson for my future: It is not my business to understand, why they like or even love me! But if they do, why would I reject it? Why should I tell myself, I would know better and they are doing it wrong? I honestly never understood why my ex wanted me in the first place, why she wanted me during our relationship, and why she was so heartbroken when I ended it... I never felt I was the right guy for her. But hey, let her decide. And we had a good time... So if someone goes out on a date, they will have a reason. Why tell yourself, they are doing a mistake? Focus on your own decisions! | ||
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Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
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IgnE
United States7684 Posts
On June 03 2016 04:05 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: Plot twist paradox: My new advice is that you should listen to IgnE, because he knows exactly what he's talking about But in all seriousness, Volband, there's nothing wrong with getting to know someone or talking to them more than once before you officially ask them out. That's standard protocol for 90+% of the dating scene (basically everything besides blind dates). Insisting that you need to ask them out immediately can be tricky and can come across as borderline desperate or rushed. I'm not really sure why IgnE is making such a big deal out of getting to know someone better. Volband, do whatever you're comfortable with doing. It's much more important that you're comfortable, prepared, and confident than to rush into things too soon (or take things too slowly for your liking). I also agree with blood that you need to stop having a defeatist attitude and assume that a girl is too good for you. Any girl that turns you down has missed an amazing opportunity. Period. Amen. its not needy to ask someone out. i cant tell you how many conversations ive had with girls who complain that men cant ask them out in person and then a couple days later they get a friend invite request and a meek date request, or that guys online spend days carrying on inane conversations instead of just asking them out. they are on an online DATING website, they are expecting you to ask them out. this isnt some pua-ish lemon advice im giving that involves rules about how you MUST ask the girl out after X and before Y. Im giving this advice because the dude was saying that talking forever to someone he hadnt met felt awkward but he didnt know if it was ok to ask them out and end the spiral of lame text conversation. the answer is yes, you can ask someone out way earlier than you think you can in online dating and there is no pressure to continue talking the werk leading up to the date. the worst that usually happens if you ask out too soon is that the girl will say she wants to ask you some more things or whatever. | ||
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