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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
Having one common interest does not equal exactly your interests.
And I would assume, that most people reading here for advice are simply not the people who feel like talking to random people on the street or in an environment they are not used to.
And those who have no trouble socialising everywhere won't ask for advice how to find girls. Their problems arise later.
You are preaching everyone to become a social talkmaster. Not everybody is like that or even wants that to be. And additionally there are usually others of the other gender having the same issue. Trying to find those may produce much better matches than changing yourself to adapt to the nord or standard and then fishing there, even though you were just an adapter who will probably always lack behind in that territory.
To me it looks like a person getting stranded on a small island, and you are telling them to build a boat right now to look for others on the much bigger island at the horizon. Why not look for others on his island first? If nothings there, he can still have a look at boat building.
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On June 01 2016 03:10 GaussTransformation wrote:
There are also nonswipey sites. You know, sites with real profiles. Pages where you can look at profiles, read them, write interesting people. How you can even cite okcupid as serious example is beyond me. Thats pretty much the definition of hookup site.
AFAIK OkCupid isn't entirely hook-up based and either way I met my fiancee on the site. Also know several other relationships to come from the site but perhaps in an older age bracket (25-30yos). Most people I know use online dating because they just lack the time and effort to head out to a bar every night to meet a hundred people (of which maybe one or two are suitable) when they can hit up an online dating app in their breaks throughout the day.
Anyhow as a proponent of online dating the reasons I'd use it are:
- Convenience - You can do it any time. Anywhere. Without leaving the house. In five minute breaks.
- Larger Population - You have access to a much larger pool of people to choose from. You're not realistically going to get access to that many people easily in a bar.
- Easily Filtered - You can easily filter for desirable/undesirable traits.
- Introverts - Personally I much prefer to date introverts. Introverts are harder to meet organically (and not in places I frequent) so online dating is more efficient.
You shouldn't see online dating as the be-all-end-all of dating. It's really just a tool for you to potentially meet other like-minded people.
I'm pretty average looking and have still gotten two relationships (an ex-gf and now a fiancee) from online dating. I don't think it's all doom-and-gloom but I think you have to be smart about your approach.
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how do you remove condom? it is safe to remove it just with hand? i am asking because of vagina-liquid on it. You cannot get aids if your one hand has contact with vagina-liquid?
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On June 02 2016 00:45 Dingodile wrote:
how do you remove condom? it is safe to remove it just with hand? i am asking because of vagina-liquid on it. You cannot get aids if your one hand has contact with vagina-liquid?
Your hand most likely will not absorb aids from aids infected vagina-liquids.
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On June 01 2016 20:18 GaussTransformation wrote:
Having one common interest does not equal exactly your interests.
And I would assume, that most people reading here for advice are simply not the people who feel like talking to random people on the street or in an environment they are not used to.
And those who have no trouble socialising everywhere won't ask for advice how to find girls. Their problems arise later.
You are preaching everyone to become a social talkmaster. Not everybody is like that or even wants that to be. And additionally there are usually others of the other gender having the same issue. Trying to find those may produce much better matches than changing yourself to adapt to the nord or standard and then fishing there, even though you were just an adapter who will probably always lack behind in that territory.
To me it looks like a person getting stranded on a small island, and you are telling them to build a boat right now to look for others on the much bigger island at the horizon. Why not look for others on his island first? If nothings there, he can still have a look at boat building.
See the thing is, you don't have to change who you are whatsoever, in fact...you become more true to your honest self when you start becoming mindful to the world around you, conquer your fear and start expressing yourself honestly.
For example when you see a girl that attracts you wherever it may be, or you find something really interesting about her, all you have to do is not hold back and honestly express that - you don't need to be a talkmaster, you don't have to change a thing about yourself besides living up to who you honestly are. You are not adapting to the standard, because that's what you are - and you give others the chance to share that with you.
And it's not about going to another island, everyone will come into contact with people be it already where they are, on the street, at the job or at places where people with similar interests go, and if that's not enough you are not changing islands, you are expanding yours along with your comfort zone
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On June 02 2016 00:45 Dingodile wrote:
how do you remove condom? it is safe to remove it just with hand? i am asking because of vagina-liquid on it. You cannot get aids if your one hand has contact with vagina-liquid?
If this is an authentic concern of yours, I think it may be too early for you to be having sex just yet.
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On June 02 2016 01:42 farvacola wrote:Show nested quote +On June 02 2016 00:45 Dingodile wrote:
how do you remove condom? it is safe to remove it just with hand? i am asking because of vagina-liquid on it. You cannot get aids if your one hand has contact with vagina-liquid? If this is an authentic concern of yours, I think it may be too early for you to be having sex just yet.
If he has questions why not answer them? Isnt it a good thing he is asking instead of just assuming stuff? Really not sure why you are trying to achieve with this post.
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On June 02 2016 02:57 Kleinmuuhg wrote:Show nested quote +On June 02 2016 01:42 farvacola wrote:On June 02 2016 00:45 Dingodile wrote:
how do you remove condom? it is safe to remove it just with hand? i am asking because of vagina-liquid on it. You cannot get aids if your one hand has contact with vagina-liquid? If this is an authentic concern of yours, I think it may be too early for you to be having sex just yet. If he has questions why not answer them? Isnt it a good thing he is asking instead of just assuming stuff? Really not sure why you are trying to achieve with this post.
Agree, he sounds concerned and not joke-ish with the question.
And remember there's a lot of people that lack sexual education, and there's so many questions that you dont know until you DO about it that this doenst look odd compared to what you actually can get asked.
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^ Yet neither of you two have answered the question lawl.
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=aids vaginal fluid
Apparently vaginal fluid does carry HIV. However, one of the responses implied that the risk factor is only great if there is contact with an open cut or sore. So, if your hands don't have cuts, then you should be fine.
However, maybe you should just not have sex with women who have HIV. That seems like the winning strategy here.
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I didnt want to give an unqualified answer or ask Dr google
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@GaussTransformation and Lem0n
Thanks a lot for the advice and responses, guys. I like the things you guys are saying.
So stay true to myself, find people who share similar interests because they may be liked minded people who are compatible with me, and I can find those people at events like anime cons and networking as an artist and cosplayers and such.
But at the same time, ideally I shouldn't limit myself to just those things, because I can still find compatible people who don't share the same interests. And being open and talking to lots of people doesn't mean I have to change myself to act like some guy I'm not or don't want to be (like a "talkmaster" I suppose), I can be open and talk to lots of strangers and not worry about how I come off or whether they approve or accept me, as long as I'm true to myself (and of course not being a douche or being mean or making them uncomfortable and whatnot).
If I like them or something about it, I can express that to them to let them know. And there's no need to fear doing so, because say I let them know I like something about them, and they feel uncomfortable from it or don't want to be around me anymore, then we probably weren't like minded people anyway (unwilling to open up and accept others' praise/feelings/sincerity). And this applies to approaching strangers, too. I'm outgoing and nice and easily make friends with guys, so if I just treat girls the same way, then it'll be fine. If they feel uncomfortable with me being so friendly with them or something like that (like if they're paranoid and think I'm a creeper or something), then they're probably not that compatible, or at least I did nothing wrong and shouldn't feel bad about just being friendly and open.
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On June 02 2016 03:31 Jealous wrote:^ Yet neither of you two have answered the question lawl. http://lmgtfy.com/?q=aids vaginal fluidApparently vaginal fluid does carry HIV. However, one of the responses implied that the risk factor is only great if there is contact with an open cut or sore. So, if your hands don't have cuts, then you should be fine. However, maybe you should just not have sex with women who have HIV. That seems like the winning strategy here.
This is true for HIV in general AFAIK. Bodily fluids carry the virus, but they must directly enter the blood stream for you to be infected. Sex is risky because some times the friction causes small tears -> infection. This is also when for hetero couples the woman is more likely to become infected, and why anal sex is riskier. (The anus is more likely to tear, and the increased friction also leads to increased likelihood of the penis bleeding slightly.)
So yeah, vaginal fluid, semen, or blood, into an open cut is bad. whether that cut is on your genetalia or hands or whereever.
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On June 01 2016 17:13 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On June 01 2016 12:53 the bear jew wrote:Well I had a date Friday and got her to agree to a second date on Sunday. For 30 minutes, then she texts me back and says she doesn't think we will work out as a couple and that was that. So yeah, luck still shit.  "Got her to agree". Sounds like you had a gun to her head when you say it like that. LOL. When did you ask her on the second date, right after the first?? It can be good to let her breath for a day. Getting rejected is part of the game, just get back on the horse!
That is not how I meant for it to sound. I asked her for another date two days after the one I had. We went out on Friday for first date, texted/chatted with her on Saturday, asked her what she wanted to do for another on Sunday. And at first she says let's watch movies and shows at my house, I got a new TV.
I said sure, and mentioned a good sci fi movie since she said she liked sci-fi. 30 minutes later she was like nope, I don't think we will work. Maybe she actually wanted to fuck aka netflix and chill?
I dunno, but just gotta keep trying and find the right one.
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On June 02 2016 04:53 Yoshi Kirishima wrote:
@GaussTransformation and Lem0n
Thanks a lot for the advice and responses, guys. I like the things you guys are saying.
So stay true to myself, find people who share similar interests because they may be liked minded people who are compatible with me, and I can find those people at events like anime cons and networking as an artist and cosplayers and such.
But at the same time, ideally I shouldn't limit myself to just those things, because I can still find compatible people who don't share the same interests. And being open and talking to lots of people doesn't mean I have to change myself to act like some guy I'm not or don't want to be (like a "talkmaster" I suppose), I can be open and talk to lots of strangers and not worry about how I come off or whether they approve or accept me, as long as I'm true to myself (and of course not being a douche or being mean or making them uncomfortable and whatnot).
If I like them or something about it, I can express that to them to let them know. And there's no need to fear doing so, because say I let them know I like something about them, and they feel uncomfortable from it or don't want to be around me anymore, then we probably weren't like minded people anyway (unwilling to open up and accept others' praise/feelings/sincerity). And this applies to approaching strangers, too. I'm outgoing and nice and easily make friends with guys, so if I just treat girls the same way, then it'll be fine. If they feel uncomfortable with me being so friendly with them or something like that (like if they're paranoid and think I'm a creeper or something), then they're probably not that compatible, or at least I did nothing wrong and shouldn't feel bad about just being friendly and open.
I would say yes. But you sound like you will now repeat those sentences in your head over and over, when meeting someone. That ain't good :D Let it flow freely! Don't try to follow a script.
Let's just cite Moltke, completely out of context (he would turn in grave, if he knew he was quoted in the TL dating thread): No plan survives first contact.
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I dream of the day in which Moltke returns and then somehow decides to post in this thread 
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Not the TL-Moltke ^.^ There existed one even before TL. God damnit...
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On June 02 2016 06:58 Kleinmuuhg wrote:
Or squattincasanova
Oh god.
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Might aswell have Sixstrings and Sosexy back.
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Is it weird if a girl you have not met wants to see your sleeping face?
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EPT
