EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 672
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
"Well, he's evil. a psychopath" and nothing else. I assume this is not a shit test? just tried to call (hidden number cause I call from Skype - she knows this), no answer + texted after "Tried to call you, I want to hear about it! Im off to the gym now but tell me what time youd like me to call if you need to talk" If she is testing me indeed... It's pretty fucked up And now no answer again. And it makes me all worried and emotional. Time for the gym to get it out... Being attached sucks. Hope I'm not attached to the wrong chick tho, this is really weird. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
"I'm at work now. Can't talk, cant do anything but work. Is this ur new number? I can call you when the monster lets me go home" (her like 3rd day at work. He was supposed to show her what to do) So just told her to call me asap + feel like I should go rescue her now  | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
But I'm like way more experienced when it comes to career choices/employers/job selection. Question is...how much do you guys meddle in your partner's career and life choices? I tend to support the girls I'm dating with whatever they do, give them advice only if they ask for it... But in this case from what I've heard about her employers I just want to tell her to run (her boss is strict yet unreliable flaky woman, a guy showing her around was creepy touching her hand pointing her hand with the mouse at stuff at the computer, now this guy who was nice to her to get her the job is acting this way... a toxic work environment indeed. And she's got very busy university schedule from September) And run god damn fast as it can take away her illusions about jobs in general... These people are not the role models you want in your first serious job. And my authentic self will want to force her to leave it even tho I know she will want to stick with it stubbornly and telling them quitting would be a hard decision which she likes to avoid... I mean I will ask her if she wants me to listen or give her advice...if she says the former I will just hold back and respect her decisions I guess reluctantly But I'd like to know what experience you guys have with handling such things | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
I don't think you should try to "rescue" her at all, try not to bring up that guy at all unless she does. The entire thing seems kinda fishy though. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
I like this girl for the long run, and if she feels the need to get with other guys I'd rather find out sooner rather than later since I'm at the lifetime peak of my ability and opportunity to get women right now, so ye I will ask because of the job thing, but really am not sure how strongly I should come off with the (for me very clear) advice I will give her | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On August 02 2015 01:48 LemOn wrote: She likes guys as friends all the time that's why it was irrational of me, she's an extremely loyal person afaik. I like this girl for the long run, and if she feels the need to get with other guys I'd rather find out sooner rather than later since I'm at the lifetime peak of my ability and opportunity to get women right now, so ye I will ask because of the job thing, but really am not sure how strongly I should come off with the (for me very clear) advice I will give her What do you have in mind? Going in the shop start cussing at the guy? You would just look like a massive tool and a white knight. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On August 02 2015 02:05 bloodwhore~ wrote: What do you have in mind? Going in the shop start cussing at the guy? You would just look like a massive tool and a white knight. no I was kidding about that one - she'd ask if she physically needed help ha | ||
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farvacola
United States18869 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
the guy that is training her is a protestant who hates gays, cited passages from the bible to her to prove homosexuality is wrong hates black people hes a 23y old virgin told her he doesn't like the way her teeth sound on cherry tomatoes she was eating when she asked him for phone number as the office was closed in case it happens again, he said he doesn't give personal numbers, but if she wants to ask him out for a coffee she should say so directly he told her she doesn't have a sense of humor that she takes too many notes when learning from him that the girls that were training HIM were bullying him she couldnt take a lunch break and had to eat at the computer And they employ this guy and the creep who was feeling her up on the first day half of the office is leaving as she joins longest running employee is that guy (2years) they have shit pay with lots of work that's hard to handle no contract, didn't even have to show them her ID 10hour shifts, she cant choose when she works on interview they asked her if she can stay and work Xmas day and it's apartment rentals to tourists in Prague, and she studies management accounting this is so fucked up, in the UK they'd get freaking sued the shit out of them if a guy worked for them who tells this to employees after 2 days. and she wants to work there "as she thinks it'd be a great experience for the future" and "I'll like it when he leaves (He'll be leaving in a week or so as well. But the owner apparently loves him like a son)...confirmation bias seriously I was grinding my teeth not to shout at her to quit the fuck asap when she was on the phone. held back but fuck, it really makes me angry, and she had 1 job before so doesn't know any better I'm sure she will stay there if I won't interfere heavily but I could also feel strongly that she just wanted me to listen really and just go with it when she was talking about it for half an hour... | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
 Other than that I don't understand why she would want that job. I don't think pushing her to leave will do anything to help though. | ||
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
Next date will be on wednesday, even though it will be mainly checking my preparations for the exam on the following day. | ||
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
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killa_robot
Canada1884 Posts
On August 02 2015 01:33 LemOn wrote: That leads me to another question. Obviously women want you to listen when they come to you with problems, they don't really want solutions... But I'm like way more experienced when it comes to career choices/employers/job selection. Question is...how much do you guys meddle in your partner's career and life choices? I tend to support the girls I'm dating with whatever they do, give them advice only if they ask for it... But in this case from what I've heard about her employers I just want to tell her to run (her boss is strict yet unreliable flaky woman, a guy showing her around was creepy touching her hand pointing her hand with the mouse at stuff at the computer, now this guy who was nice to her to get her the job is acting this way... a toxic work environment indeed. And she's got very busy university schedule from September) And run god damn fast as it can take away her illusions about jobs in general... These people are not the role models you want in your first serious job. And my authentic self will want to force her to leave it even tho I know she will want to stick with it stubbornly and telling them quitting would be a hard decision which she likes to avoid... I mean I will ask her if she wants me to listen or give her advice...if she says the former I will just hold back and respect her decisions I guess reluctantly But I'd like to know what experience you guys have with handling such things Um. Ever think the way he's acting is the reason he hired her? And you sound pretty obsessive. Calling her and saying you really want to hear about how creepy her coworker is is odd. No one cares that much about how creepy some stranger is, lol. | ||
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Fyodor
Canada971 Posts
On August 02 2015 07:30 killa_robot wrote: Um. Ever think the way he's acting is the reason he hired her? And you sound pretty obsessive. Calling her and saying you really want to hear about how creepy her coworker is is odd. No one cares that much about how creepy some stranger is, lol. It's more creepy to be worried about being creepy. | ||
Yoav
United States1874 Posts
But of course being honest isn't the same thing as being pushy. When she complains about her work, she's expressing a concern and frustration about life and so that's what you're dealing with. You comfort her without lying (I focus on her and not the situation as a way of doing this. Lots of situations are shitty, but if she's a person you picked romantically, presumably you think she is pretty alright even when things aren't.) When, on the other hand, she asks, what should I do? You say, quit the job, you can do better. If she rules that out, then you proceed just as you would if an option were ruled out in any other way, and come up with the next best thing. If she rules it out for a reason you think is bullshit, of course, you can tell her "Of course you could get a better job" or whatever, but don't press it. At some point I'll post here about conversational bid theory. A lot of the random questions here could be resolved by understanding how emotional content is conveyed in conversation. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On August 02 2015 07:30 killa_robot wrote: Um. Ever think the way he's acting is the reason he hired her? And you sound pretty obsessive. Calling her and saying you really want to hear about how creepy her coworker is is odd. No one cares that much about how creepy some stranger is, lol. She just started working there and was acting really odd so I actually thought she might be in trouble. On August 02 2015 12:25 Yoav wrote: But of course being honest isn't the same thing as being pushy. When she complains about her work, she's expressing a concern and frustration about life and so that's what you're dealing with. You comfort her without lying (I focus on her and not the situation as a way of doing this. Lots of situations are shitty, but if she's a person you picked romantically, presumably you think she is pretty alright even when things aren't.) When, on the other hand, she asks, what should I do? You say, quit the job, you can do better. If she rules that out, then you proceed just as you would if an option were ruled out in any other way, and come up with the next best thing. If she rules it out for a reason you think is bullshit, of course, you can tell her "Of course you could get a better job" or whatever, but don't press it. . This was a good post I must say, thank you. I asked her specifically if she wants me to listen or my advice. She said my advice, I told her she should quit and run really fast, and she started rationalizing after that why the job's good, despite the huge red flags.(standard confirmation bias I must say )I thought about this quite a bit though, and I if I flip it on it's head when I'll be making a career choice that's what I'd want from my partner - ask me lots of questions, listen to how I feel, give me her honest opinions, but ultimately trust me that I can make my own decisions, respect them and support me no matter what/how crazy it might seem. And I guess I should treat others the way I'd like to be treated myself, especially if I have the long run on my mind. | ||
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Shiragaku
Hong Kong4308 Posts
![[image loading]](http://puu.sh/jnuxz/6b5aa82441.png) m'lady | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On August 03 2015 17:03 Shiragaku wrote: Anyone who is like this really makes their entire existence a red flag m'lady Is it some girl from OKCupid you like or why did you bring it u? | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
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