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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
Yeah dude can't see any difference between normal dating, Hang out, have fun, do whatever's comfortable, if she brings it up ... Ask her what does she mean exactly by asking and what does she feel and then tell her you'd love to get to know her a bit better before you pork her No need to bring it up yourself or overthinking.
although I did think it's generally accepted that when a girl invites you inside her flat overnight she wants you inside of her as well - maybe with other girls don't stay over until you want that?
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On July 30 2015 11:26 waffelz wrote:Show nested quote +On July 30 2015 09:29 Fyodor wrote: OF COURSE you were a gentleman. OF COURSE your mother would be proud of you.
BUT MAYYYYBE she wanted the D and you didn't give it to her.
UPDATE: read the rest of the post, you should not analyze yourself while having a feeling. You will kill that feeling. You wanted to kiss her and you did. It's perfectly fine and quit that pseudo-emotional navel gazing. What you're really doing IMO is creating a safety net to say you're not that into her to achieve a no-fail situation where your ego can't be bruised. It's a great strategy if your goal is to not feel anything ever.
UPDATE 2:
Don't worry about her feelings. She's an adult (I hope) so you should respect her own ability to choose what's best for herself. Afterwards I also realized that "could stay at her place" probably mend more then me sleeping on her couch. As I said, I am not good at spotting theese signs lol. Didn't really matter that i missed that one though since I wouldn't be up for it anyways. Its not about being gentlemen or making my mother proud(she actually would have probably rolled her eyes and called me a dork if I told her), its just the way I am. About the feeling stuff you could be right. I do like her for sure, the question is how much do I like her. The kiss easily could be the result of me having spend a good portion of the day grappling aka aggressive cuddling with her, which breaks a lot of distance and her being an attractive women. I am certain that I like to spend more time with her, but there isn't a real desire for romantic contact at the moment. My main problem is, that I do respect her own ability to make her own decision. To make a proper decision, she needs to have the proper information. When you date someone, there usually is an implied agreement, that you both are interested in each other in the same way, which I don't really think is the case at this point, but I have signalled something else. I know how I feel when I have strong feelings for someone and kiss/cuddle with them and in this case it wasn't there. Which isn't surprising, since this always takes some time with me, but I didn't want to miss the chance if those feelings do come up. And I could completely understand her being upset about that. Just think about it, its pretty much the same as if someone pretends to love someone just to have sex with them, only with a better motive. I know that I view such matters very differently at times though(like not empathising going for a kiss on the first date), which is why I decided to ask for some different opinions. The principle of honesty tells that I should tell her what's really going on, but at the same time I fear the possible consequences. Continuing not telling her also could lead to some problems. I know that I move very slow when it comes to dating/relationships and that my views are often uptight. Previously I wouldn't have gone for the kiss, but since I decided to make some compromises, I went for it, but I wouldn't go beyond without seriously being interested in her. I also can assure that this isn't a way to protect my ego. I definitely want to see her again and I definitely want to find out how I feel about her, despite possibly leading to rejection. My only problem is how I should approach it from this point, before I see her again this weekend.
My question is, did you go home and jack off afterwards? Are you shying away from sex with real people in order to masturbate?
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And this is why you post nothing in the dating thread.
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On July 31 2015 02:57 obesechicken13 wrote: And this is why you post nothing in the dating thread.
I haven't seen very bad advice yet... what advice do you think is bad?
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I liken asking advice in the dating thread to asking the homeless community in the Las Vegas sewers for gambling advice
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On July 31 2015 03:31 VayneAuthority wrote: I liken asking advice in the dating thread to asking the homeless community in the Las Vegas sewers for gambling advice
I don't think it's quite that bad but some advice is pretty bad. Some people clearly have very little actual experience or are just trollin.
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On July 31 2015 03:27 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On July 31 2015 02:57 obesechicken13 wrote: And this is why you post nothing in the dating thread. I haven't seen very bad advice yet... what advice do you think is bad? I think it's just mean. "Are you shying away from sex with people in order to masturbate" is something I'd find insulting. Dude just wants to take things slow.
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On July 31 2015 03:31 VayneAuthority wrote: I liken asking advice in the dating thread to asking the homeless community in the Las Vegas sewers for gambling advice
Some of us have had plenty of success with dating/ relationships
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On July 31 2015 02:47 IgnE wrote: My question is, did you go home and jack off afterwards? Are you shying away from sex with real people in order to masturbate?
What the actual fuck? xD.... seriously what the hell is wrong with some people not understanding to take things slow/having something else on the top of their list then just having sex. I am not offended by that, but it is by far one of the stupidest things I have red so far in this thread. There was some nice advice which I will take on later, but this... wtf? xD
So in other words: no. two no for the guy that hopefully never gets into psychology.
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On July 31 2015 03:27 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On July 31 2015 02:57 obesechicken13 wrote: And this is why you post nothing in the dating thread. I haven't seen very bad advice yet... what advice do you think is bad? what happened with that chick btw, we demand and update, did she take your cherry? Did you go down on her instead?
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On July 31 2015 03:31 VayneAuthority wrote: I liken asking advice in the dating thread to asking the homeless community in the Las Vegas sewers for gambling advice
The best gambling advice: to win, don't play the game.
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On July 31 2015 05:45 LemOn wrote:what happened with that chick btw, we demand and update, did she take your cherry? Did you go down on her instead? 
We didn't talk for a few days, we both snap chated to each other though. Then she asked if I wanted to see her so Tuesday so she came over to my place. We watched a bunch of GoT episodes, I cooked us dinner, we made out a bunch. She had to leave early so we didn't do anything. She still seems to be interested though so I will ask her to do something lewd when she gets back to our university town. She has left for Greece for vacation now. My dick is ready.
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On July 31 2015 06:21 CosmicSpiral wrote:Show nested quote +On July 31 2015 03:31 VayneAuthority wrote: I liken asking advice in the dating thread to asking the homeless community in the Las Vegas sewers for gambling advice The best gambling advice: to win, don't play the game. As a math major I have to call bullshit on that one. I chose this field of study specifically to learn how to gamble correctly.
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On July 31 2015 06:25 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On July 31 2015 05:45 LemOn wrote:what happened with that chick btw, we demand and update, did she take your cherry? Did you go down on her instead?  We didn't talk for a few days, we both snap chated to each other though. Then she asked if I wanted to see her so Tuesday so she came over to my place. We watched a bunch of GoT episodes, I cooked us dinner, we made out a bunch. She had to leave early so we didn't do anything. She still seems to be interested though so I will ask her to do something lewd when she gets back to our university town. She has left for Greece for vacation now. My dick is ready. Save Season 5 Episode 6 for when she returns, it's by far the most romantic episode
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On July 31 2015 06:49 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:Show nested quote +On July 31 2015 06:25 bloodwhore~ wrote:On July 31 2015 05:45 LemOn wrote:what happened with that chick btw, we demand and update, did she take your cherry? Did you go down on her instead?  We didn't talk for a few days, we both snap chated to each other though. Then she asked if I wanted to see her so Tuesday so she came over to my place. We watched a bunch of GoT episodes, I cooked us dinner, we made out a bunch. She had to leave early so we didn't do anything. She still seems to be interested though so I will ask her to do something lewd when she gets back to our university town. She has left for Greece for vacation now. My dick is ready. Save Season 5 Episode 6 for when she returns, it's by far the most romantic episode  Is that the one where Jon and Daenerys have sex on the back of a dragon? Or am I confusing fanfic and canon again? + Show Spoiler +It's probably just one of a long list of episodes where Melissandre shows her boobies. + Show Spoiler +Although there is absolutely nothing wrong with her boobies
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On July 31 2015 07:40 Acrofales wrote:Show nested quote +On July 31 2015 06:49 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:On July 31 2015 06:25 bloodwhore~ wrote:On July 31 2015 05:45 LemOn wrote:what happened with that chick btw, we demand and update, did she take your cherry? Did you go down on her instead?  We didn't talk for a few days, we both snap chated to each other though. Then she asked if I wanted to see her so Tuesday so she came over to my place. We watched a bunch of GoT episodes, I cooked us dinner, we made out a bunch. She had to leave early so we didn't do anything. She still seems to be interested though so I will ask her to do something lewd when she gets back to our university town. She has left for Greece for vacation now. My dick is ready. Save Season 5 Episode 6 for when she returns, it's by far the most romantic episode  Is that the one where Jon and Daenerys have sex on the back of a dragon? Or am I confusing fanfic and canon again? + Show Spoiler +It's probably just one of a long list of episodes where Melissandre shows her boobies. + Show Spoiler +Although there is absolutely nothing wrong with her boobies It's the one where Ramsay gets married!
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On July 31 2015 06:47 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:Show nested quote +On July 31 2015 06:21 CosmicSpiral wrote:On July 31 2015 03:31 VayneAuthority wrote: I liken asking advice in the dating thread to asking the homeless community in the Las Vegas sewers for gambling advice The best gambling advice: to win, don't play the game. As a math major I have to call bullshit on that one. I chose this field of study specifically to learn how to gamble correctly.
As a math major you'll soon learn that arithmetic and numbers just don't exist in your classes anymore.
That being said, I too can count cards
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On July 31 2015 07:51 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On July 31 2015 06:47 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:On July 31 2015 06:21 CosmicSpiral wrote:On July 31 2015 03:31 VayneAuthority wrote: I liken asking advice in the dating thread to asking the homeless community in the Las Vegas sewers for gambling advice The best gambling advice: to win, don't play the game. As a math major I have to call bullshit on that one. I chose this field of study specifically to learn how to gamble correctly. As a math major you'll soon learn that arithmetic and numbers just don't exist in your classes anymore. That being said, I too can count cards I meant more along the lines of game theory and statistics. I haven't seen a number that wasn't a square or a subscript in over a year.
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On July 31 2015 03:47 waffelz wrote:Show nested quote +On July 31 2015 02:47 IgnE wrote: My question is, did you go home and jack off afterwards? Are you shying away from sex with real people in order to masturbate? What the actual fuck? xD.... seriously what the hell is wrong with some people not understanding to take things slow/having something else on the top of their list then just having sex. I am not offended by that, but it is by far one of the stupidest things I have red so far in this thread. There was some nice advice which I will take on later, but this... wtf? xD So in other words: no. two no for the guy that hopefully never gets into psychology.
Oh come on dude, don't get so indignant. It's an honest question. It's not like you are "taking it slow" because you have some kind of ethical structure that requires certain parameters to be met before sexual intercourse takes place. You aren't restraining yourself from your sexual lust. You seem to have simply said that you don't even feel sexually attracted to this girl that you apparently admit is attractive. I am just wondering whether you have a low libido or whether you are still jacking it (multiple times) every day.
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On July 31 2015 06:25 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On July 31 2015 05:45 LemOn wrote:what happened with that chick btw, we demand and update, did she take your cherry? Did you go down on her instead?  We didn't talk for a few days, we both snap chated to each other though. Then she asked if I wanted to see her so Tuesday so she came over to my place. We watched a bunch of GoT episodes, I cooked us dinner, we made out a bunch. She had to leave early so we didn't do anything. She still seems to be interested though so I will ask her to do something lewd when she gets back to our university town. She has left for Greece for vacation now. My dick is ready.
You've been watching too much Japan.
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