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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On July 29 2015 01:19 GoTuNk! wrote:
I rarely post here anymore, but I'd like to get advice here as I'm totally lost.
How do you approach a girl that is extremely naive, doesn't drink and doesn't go out at night, never. By naive I mean she is 22 and I'd be surprised if she has kissed 3 boys in her life. I see her regularly at gym (CF Girl) and we always talk. I mean, how do you escalate or what shoud I ask her out to do?
I probably would not ask her out directly, even if she does not go out at night, invite her & her friends to a party, concert, special event or sth like that. Tell her that you'll be there with a couple of friends and that you would be glad if she would join you guys. Or say something similar.
The last girl I dated did this, she did not ask me out for dinner or a movie, but gave me a short call and invited me over to a club where she has been that evening. The advantage is - at least in my opinion - that the whole situation is much more relaxed. Especially with a girl that's "naive".
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On July 29 2015 01:19 GoTuNk! wrote:
I rarely post here anymore, but I'd like to get advice here as I'm totally lost.
How do you approach a girl that is extremely naive, doesn't drink and doesn't go out at night, never. By naive I mean she is 22 and I'd be surprised if she has kissed 3 boys in her life. I see her regularly at gym (CF Girl) and we always talk. I mean, how do you escalate or what shoud I ask her out to do?
Just because she doesn't drink or go out at night, doesn't make her an alien. She's still a human being, and presumably likes to do stuff. Just figure out what you think would be a fun activity for both of you, and invite her to do it! Go for a walk? Go do some winter activity preferrably one where you have some skill and can help her, that always works well? Go for a coffee? Go see some show (not a great first date, but can work, especially if followed by a walk or a coffee)?
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United States15275 Posts
On July 29 2015 01:03 LemOn wrote:Show nested quote +On July 28 2015 23:53 CosmicSpiral wrote:On July 28 2015 23:36 LemOn wrote:On July 28 2015 17:43 obesechicken13 wrote:Well that was a short no porn. It's so hard to stay erect without watching something and I guess my libido isn't what it used to be. No longer horny every day. I can continue no fap to porn though. A good point from some Dr. Richard Krueger, says gambling and alcohol only affect about 10% of the people that use them heavily. So he estimates the same for Porn. I'm guessing it's not as big of a deal for the vast majority of people. If I didn't drink I would find my dopamine hits elsewhere just appreciating little things throughout the day more every once in a while. But I often have months where I go without beer. And I don't really ever gamble eg. at a Casino or over cards. http://www.macleans.ca/society/life/can-swearing-off-porn-improve-your-life/Maybe porn isn't so bad and I can justify its use. eh porn sucks it can take several months to get used to no porn tho and get to normal, guess you will never find out  The positive effects of NoFap are dubious, to say the least. Don't care about fap/nofap, I just know over consumption of porn is just bad. And at least for me it's prety black and white, I either watch it or don't. I'd like to see a single person who was watching porn daily for 10+years, stopped and didn't see the large benefits, especially in committed relationships
Overconsumption of anything is bad.
If watching porn is a symptom of something rather than a cause, not watching it won't solve the problem; the activity will be simply replaced by something else. Even the quoted article can only name tertiary benefits, none which are exclusively associated with porn. The supposed change towards healthier relationships is simply...assumed.
On July 29 2015 01:19 GoTuNk! wrote:
I rarely post here anymore, but I'd like to get advice here as I'm totally lost.
How do you approach a girl that is extremely naive, doesn't drink and doesn't go out at night, never. By naive I mean she is 22 and I'd be surprised if she has kissed 3 boys in her life. I see her regularly at gym (CF Girl) and we always talk. I mean, how do you escalate or what shoud I ask her out to do?
Ask her out to do something you love.
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On July 28 2015 20:46 evilfatsh1t wrote: theres pretty much no reason for it not to work unless the truth is youre actually just not into women. lol
Yeah I'm not into guys. Even though I admire the human male body (no homo) and browsed /fit/ for a few years I'm not gay.
So don't worry bro, You must have done a good job anyway when the girl still want's to hang out with you, maybe just relax and make some food together, watch some movie, then just dress for the night, brush teeth and switch the lights off.
I hope St. Kuroky will answere your prayers
Yeah that's more or less what we did. We watched an episode, then I made us dinner, then we continued to watch GOT and we made out a bunch. I possibly could have tried to fuck her but she was going home early and I'd rather wait a while longer.
I did however have a way harder boner now than I have had before. When I dropped her of we made out for like 30 seconds and I had a boner all the way home hueuhue. I definitely think this nofap is working.
if not doesn't matter, just takes the pressure off, you're like 99% in your head now
Yeah that and nofap feels like it's helping!
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On July 29 2015 01:19 GoTuNk! wrote:
How do you approach a girl that is extremely naive, doesn't drink and doesn't go out at night, never. By naive I mean she is 22 and I'd be surprised if she has kissed 3 boys in her life. I see her regularly at gym (CF Girl) and we always talk. I mean, how do you escalate or what shoud I ask her out to do?
Well if she is a health nut not drinking isn't super strange. Don't be fooled by girls. Even though she kissed few guys doesn't mean she is naive either, she might be just very modest only going for guys she wants to have a relationship with etc. This is a good thing in my opinion.
I would ask her out to something where you have a lot of fun. Go climbing, both of you are probably kinda fit since you go to the gym so it will be challenging and climbing is super fun! Plus, when she is climbing you will get the best view of her ass 
Otherwise I think just going for a walk somewhere, eating some ice-cream.
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On July 29 2015 01:58 CosmicSpiral wrote:Show nested quote +On July 29 2015 01:03 LemOn wrote:On July 28 2015 23:53 CosmicSpiral wrote:On July 28 2015 23:36 LemOn wrote:On July 28 2015 17:43 obesechicken13 wrote:Well that was a short no porn. It's so hard to stay erect without watching something and I guess my libido isn't what it used to be. No longer horny every day. I can continue no fap to porn though. A good point from some Dr. Richard Krueger, says gambling and alcohol only affect about 10% of the people that use them heavily. So he estimates the same for Porn. I'm guessing it's not as big of a deal for the vast majority of people. If I didn't drink I would find my dopamine hits elsewhere just appreciating little things throughout the day more every once in a while. But I often have months where I go without beer. And I don't really ever gamble eg. at a Casino or over cards. http://www.macleans.ca/society/life/can-swearing-off-porn-improve-your-life/Maybe porn isn't so bad and I can justify its use. eh porn sucks it can take several months to get used to no porn tho and get to normal, guess you will never find out The positive effects of NoFap are dubious, to say the least. Don't care about fap/nofap, I just know over consumption of porn is just bad. And at least for me it's prety black and white, I either watch it or don't. I'd like to see a single person who was watching porn daily for 10+years, stopped and didn't see the large benefits, especially in committed relationships Overconsumption of anything is bad. If watching porn is a symptom of something rather than a cause, not watching it won't solve the problem; the activity will be simply replaced by something else. Even the quoted article can only name tertiary benefits, none which are exclusively associated with porn. The supposed change towards healthier relationships is simply... assumed.
Maybe it will be replaced by a better activity? One that doesn't constantly use novelty to overstimulate the reward areas of the brain? Who cares if none of the benefits are "exclusively associated with porn." Just because an addict might get the same benefits from quitting coke or gambling doesn't mean another might not get some benefits if he is only addicted to porn. You are the one who seems to be assuming a lot here.
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I am back from the date. We went for a hike which was nice and quiet. We then got some pizza and went to the same park as last time. We had a pretty heavy conversation.
What he told me was that maybe we should not be together because he is afraid of hurting me. I do not think I mentioned this in my last post, but this guy was a former heroine addict and drug dealer who dealt with some really awful people, but he has been sober for 2 years. There is also a girl that is still unbelievably important to him, his late girlfriend who died from cystic fibrosis 3 years ago. He also told me about his ex girlfriends,10 of them and said that most of them are very unhappy with him, but most of this was in high school when things started to get pretty fucked up.
I did my best to be real, because I really like this guy, I told him that I am aware of these things and that someone with a drug history most likely does not have friendships and relationships that can be fondly looked back upon and not surprised in the slightest. I also told him that things are different, and hopefully different, but we are not living together, we do not share our finances, so if things were to go downhill, I am not holding any huge obligations putting me at risk. Now with that in mind, I basically gave him the right to dump me and I asked him what he thinks overall and he said he would not ditch me like I was nothing because of how goodwilled and innocent I am.
We then talked some more, snuggled, and then went into his car and started doing some NSFW stuff (which was...something else to say the least). While in the act, a car pulled up and then the guy told me to stop because he thought they might be cops. The people in the car saw us, pulled out, and then screamed "WOOHOOO!" at us. We then resumed and then two cars pulled up and he told us we were going. He jumped in the drivers seat and did the Fast and Furious until we finally lost them. And that is my first time Team Liquid.
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On July 29 2015 16:03 Shiragaku wrote:
What he told me was that maybe we should not be together because he is afraid of hurting me.
And that is my first time Team Liquid.
What a sad and wonderful update!
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On July 29 2015 06:09 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On July 28 2015 20:46 evilfatsh1t wrote: theres pretty much no reason for it not to work unless the truth is youre actually just not into women. lol
Yeah I'm not into guys. Even though I admire the human male body (no homo) and browsed /fit/ for a few years I'm not gay.
Is the (no homo) really necessary? Especially after you just stated you are not into guys?
"no homo" allways bothers me......
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On July 29 2015 19:38 Snotling wrote:
Is the (no homo) really necessary? Especially after you just stated you are not into guys?
"no homo" allways bothers me......
No, it was to make you unsure if I was really meaning it.
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My current 'girlfriend' complained that we barely had any sex and I was surprised to realise how right she was.
We maybe have sex once a week and even then I'm usually just doing the bare minimum and I'm really not into it.
The problem is definitely with me, she's adventurous and attractive enough, but I just can't seem to get into it.
I thought maybe not masturbating would help, and I don't watch porn anyway, but it doesn't make any difference.
Now I feel terrible about that, as I don't want to make her feel unattractive.
Stupid situation, I usually get in trouble because I'm too horny, not the other way round.
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On July 30 2015 02:19 SixBans wrote:
My current 'girlfriend' complained that we barely had any sex and I was surprised to realise how right she was.
We maybe have sex once a week and even then I'm usually just doing the bare minimum and I'm really not into it.
The problem is definitely with me, she's adventurous and attractive enough, but I just can't seem to get into it.
I thought maybe not masturbating would help, and I don't watch porn anyway, but it doesn't make any difference.
Now I feel terrible about that, as I don't want to make her feel unattractive.
Stupid situation, I usually get in trouble because I'm too horny, not the other way round.
There are alternatives to penis/vagina sex, you know...
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On July 30 2015 02:19 SixBans wrote:
My current 'girlfriend' complained that we barely had any sex and I was surprised to realise how right she was.
We maybe have sex once a week and even then I'm usually just doing the bare minimum and I'm really not into it.
The problem is definitely with me, she's adventurous and attractive enough, but I just can't seem to get into it.
I thought maybe not masturbating would help, and I don't watch porn anyway, but it doesn't make any difference.
Now I feel terrible about that, as I don't want to make her feel unattractive.
Stupid situation, I usually get in trouble because I'm too horny, not the other way round.
Have you tried to spice it up? Are your fetishes in your sex acts? Does she initiate often and you reject her?
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On July 30 2015 02:28 Yoav wrote:Show nested quote +On July 30 2015 02:19 SixBans wrote:
My current 'girlfriend' complained that we barely had any sex and I was surprised to realise how right she was.
We maybe have sex once a week and even then I'm usually just doing the bare minimum and I'm really not into it.
The problem is definitely with me, she's adventurous and attractive enough, but I just can't seem to get into it.
I thought maybe not masturbating would help, and I don't watch porn anyway, but it doesn't make any difference.
Now I feel terrible about that, as I don't want to make her feel unattractive.
Stupid situation, I usually get in trouble because I'm too horny, not the other way round. There are alternatives to penis/vagina sex, you know...
You don't say...
As I said, she's adventurous, which is a euphemism for she's up for the sick shit I'm into.
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On July 30 2015 04:04 SixBans wrote:Show nested quote +On July 30 2015 02:28 Yoav wrote:On July 30 2015 02:19 SixBans wrote:
My current 'girlfriend' complained that we barely had any sex and I was surprised to realise how right she was.
We maybe have sex once a week and even then I'm usually just doing the bare minimum and I'm really not into it.
The problem is definitely with me, she's adventurous and attractive enough, but I just can't seem to get into it.
I thought maybe not masturbating would help, and I don't watch porn anyway, but it doesn't make any difference.
Now I feel terrible about that, as I don't want to make her feel unattractive.
Stupid situation, I usually get in trouble because I'm too horny, not the other way round. There are alternatives to penis/vagina sex, you know... You don't say... As I said, she's adventurous, which is a euphemism for she's up for the sick shit I'm into.
Then switch it up!
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We do. That's not the problem at all. But thanks.
User was banned for this post.
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On July 30 2015 04:34 SixBans wrote:
We do. That's not the problem at all. But thanks.
Do you reject her sex advances often?
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Yeah, and I often find myself flinching away when she tries to kiss me. Not sure what's going on.
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Damn, I had hope that this thread would get good again
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EPT
