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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On July 27 2015 01:19 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On July 26 2015 15:33 Shiragaku wrote:
I know this is really fast, and perhaps I am being naive, but this is the first time I have ever had these kinds of feelings for anyone. We also kissed, I do not think I blushed so much in my entire life.
Nice! I'm not sure how new you are to dating so you maybe have figured this all out. Not sure if this is weird for me to ask either but have you thought about sex anything? Do you think he will want to take it up his butt? Do you want to take it up your butt? I could imagine someone being okay with kissing and making out but sex is a whole other deal. Might be worth thinking about it a bit at least.
Well we did not do anything yet other than kiss and snuggle, but I can never imagine myself on top at all and if he wants me to do those things, then tough luck. I still want to keep my penis since it's a nice gimmick and SRS is expensive and basically mutilation, but I prefer not to use it for any dominant activity at all.
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Well that was a short no porn. It's so hard to stay erect without watching something and I guess my libido isn't what it used to be. No longer horny every day.
I can continue no fap to porn though.
A good point from some Dr. Richard Krueger, says gambling and alcohol only affect about 10% of the people that use them heavily. So he estimates the same for Porn. I'm guessing it's not as big of a deal for the vast majority of people. If I didn't drink I would find my dopamine hits elsewhere just appreciating little things throughout the day more every once in a while. But I often have months where I go without beer. And I don't really ever gamble eg. at a Casino or over cards.
http://www.macleans.ca/society/life/can-swearing-off-porn-improve-your-life/
Maybe porn isn't so bad and I can justify its use.
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Gee, are people not using their imaginations anymore? Just masturbate in your bed. How difficult can it be?
In other news, I have another date with the same guy today. We are going for an evening hike  I am super excited
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I am sure you'll have a great time! I might meet the girl I ve been chatting with for over two month soon for the first time. Perhaps next week. I am quite looking forward to it. I have a strong feeling of like for her, and I enjoy chatting with her, and she does too. It would be amazing if we could get together...
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So the girl I've seen lately might come over to my place today. I'm 10 days into nofap, still not feeling very horny... Not sure if there is any point of trying to fuck which is what I assume she wants to do. She just texted me saying "it could be fun just to hang" god knows what that means with women.
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On July 28 2015 18:37 unsaeglich wrote:It would be amazing if we could get together...
I will pray to Team Secret that this will happen!
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On July 28 2015 20:11 bloodwhore~ wrote:
So the girl I've seen lately might come over to my place today. I'm 10 days into nofap, still not feeling very horny... Not sure if there is any point of trying to fuck which is what I assume she wants to do. She just texted me saying "it could be fun just to hang" god knows what that means with women.
if you dont get it hard this time either, then maybe you need to reevaluate your sexuality. i dont remember seeing you say she was unattractive, you claim to not be affected much by nervousness, you probably dont drink too much (known to sometimes kill boners), youre not an old man, and you have clearly been wanting sex for a LONG time. theres pretty much no reason for it not to work unless the truth is youre actually just not into women. lol
anyways my turn to ask a question
i like a girl atm but she lives in another country. i met her when i was studying abroad and although she caught my eye ever since we met, i never pursued my interest in her then because dating wasnt a priority to me at the time and my feelings werent that strong anyway. now im back in my home country, and ive dated for a short period and had some one night stands here and there but i cant seem to get this girl out of my head.
if we were still living in the same country id tell her how i feel properly, but it just feels shitty that we dont anymore. going back to the country or having her come to mine is not an option either. im expecting most of you to probably say just find someone who lives here and move on but the current problem im having is i work like 60-70 hours a week which leaves me strapped for time plus the majority of possible gf candidates for me atm are still in school or something which means i basically have no setting to meet these people.
also random pickups on the street/bar etc isnt really a thing in australia, especially at my age and my ethnic group.
now that i reread this i realise its more of a rant than a question. ive thought a lot about my current situation and i didnt come up with anything so id be surprised if one of you could give proper advice. otherwise just take my story for what it is, a rant
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You aren't his therapist so don't act like one. Boner problems and being gay are literally two entirely different things, and the Internet is just not the right place to figure that out.
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On July 28 2015 20:57 farvacola wrote:
You aren't his therapist so don't act like one. Boner problems and being gay are literally two entirely different things, and the Internet is just not the right place to figure that out.
firstly, i didnt claim to be a therapist so not sure where the fk that came from rofl. in case you havent noticed this whole thread is full of people giving their two cents on everything. im sorry, i didnt realise everyone else had degrees in psychology.
my message wasnt supposed to be taken 100% seriously. yeah its my fault i guess for trying to convey a bit of sarcasm on the internet, but i was hoping the 'lol' at the end made that even a little bit clear. also, in my defence what i said is still an unlikely possibility for his current problem.
loosen up.
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(bloodwhore) Actually,.. for me it was not the same but similar, in the regard that I actually had no interest in vaginal , and always came up with excuses why I can't do that right now when the girl asked. I loved oral so much, putting on a condom seemed disgusting and not pleasant at all, so I had no attraction / interest in vaginal . Anyway much later my then gf tough me everything and now I love it. But first time = 3 thrusts, gg, luckily with re.
So don't worry bro, You must have done a good job anyway when the girl still want's to hang out with you, maybe just relax and make some food together, watch some movie, then just dress for the night, brush teeth and switch the lights off.
I hope St. Kuroky will answere your prayers 
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On July 28 2015 20:11 bloodwhore~ wrote:
So the girl I've seen lately might come over to my place today. I'm 10 days into nofap, still not feeling very horny... Not sure if there is any point of trying to fuck which is what I assume she wants to do. She just
texted me saying "it could be fun just to hang" god knows what that means with women.
proceed as usual when you got her naked
kiss her body gently, then slowly get to her nether regions,go down on her
use your fingers+tongue
ask her how she likes it, that you want to pleasure her
that it'll turn you on if she shows you with her fingers herself if what you do isnt working
if you get hard
yay
if not doesn't matter, just takes the pressure off, you're like 99% in your head now
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On July 28 2015 21:03 evilfatsh1t wrote:Show nested quote +On July 28 2015 20:57 farvacola wrote:
You aren't his therapist so don't act like one. Boner problems and being gay are literally two entirely different things, and the Internet is just not the right place to figure that out. firstly, i didnt claim to be a therapist so not sure where the fk that came from rofl. in case you havent noticed this whole thread is full of people giving their two cents on everything. im sorry, i didnt realise everyone else had degrees in psychology. my message wasnt supposed to be taken 100% seriously. yeah its my fault i guess for trying to convey a bit of sarcasm on the internet, but i was hoping the 'lol' at the end made that even a little bit clear. also, in my defence what i said is still an unlikely possibility for his current problem. loosen up.
There's a big difference between telling someone to man up and ask the girl out (the usual advice here), and telling him that he is probably gay because of erection problems...
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United States15275 Posts
On July 28 2015 17:43 obesechicken13 wrote:Well that was a short no porn. It's so hard to stay erect without watching something and I guess my libido isn't what it used to be. No longer horny every day. I can continue no fap to porn though. A good point from some Dr. Richard Krueger, says gambling and alcohol only affect about 10% of the people that use them heavily. So he estimates the same for Porn. I'm guessing it's not as big of a deal for the vast majority of people. If I didn't drink I would find my dopamine hits elsewhere just appreciating little things throughout the day more every once in a while. But I often have months where I go without beer. And I don't really ever gamble eg. at a Casino or over cards. http://www.macleans.ca/society/life/can-swearing-off-porn-improve-your-life/Maybe porn isn't so bad and I can justify its use.
It sounds like the problem is the proliferation and ease of access. These people aren't suffering from addiction; anyone with a real addiction will tell you how hard it is to live with it day-to-day. It's more like junk food so easy to consume, it takes awareness to realize you don't have to eat it. On another note, I rarely ever hear NoFap actually increasing sexual appreciation and performance among men.
Also, do these people genuinely believe porn stars operate "at a higher level"? A few accounts from the performers themselves would cure that notion.
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On July 28 2015 17:43 obesechicken13 wrote:Well that was a short no porn. It's so hard to stay erect without watching something and I guess my libido isn't what it used to be. No longer horny every day. I can continue no fap to porn though. A good point from some Dr. Richard Krueger, says gambling and alcohol only affect about 10% of the people that use them heavily. So he estimates the same for Porn. I'm guessing it's not as big of a deal for the vast majority of people. If I didn't drink I would find my dopamine hits elsewhere just appreciating little things throughout the day more every once in a while. But I often have months where I go without beer. And I don't really ever gamble eg. at a Casino or over cards. http://www.macleans.ca/society/life/can-swearing-off-porn-improve-your-life/Maybe porn isn't so bad and I can justify its use.
eh
porn sucks
it can take several months to get used to no porn tho and get to normal, guess you will never find out
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United States15275 Posts
On July 28 2015 23:36 LemOn wrote:Show nested quote +On July 28 2015 17:43 obesechicken13 wrote:Well that was a short no porn. It's so hard to stay erect without watching something and I guess my libido isn't what it used to be. No longer horny every day. I can continue no fap to porn though. A good point from some Dr. Richard Krueger, says gambling and alcohol only affect about 10% of the people that use them heavily. So he estimates the same for Porn. I'm guessing it's not as big of a deal for the vast majority of people. If I didn't drink I would find my dopamine hits elsewhere just appreciating little things throughout the day more every once in a while. But I often have months where I go without beer. And I don't really ever gamble eg. at a Casino or over cards. http://www.macleans.ca/society/life/can-swearing-off-porn-improve-your-life/Maybe porn isn't so bad and I can justify its use. eh porn sucks it can take several months to get used to no porn tho and get to normal, guess you will never find out
The positive effects of NoFap are dubious, to say the least.
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On July 28 2015 18:00 Shiragaku wrote:Gee, are people not using their imaginations anymore? Just masturbate in your bed. How difficult can it be? In other news, I have another date with the same guy today. We are going for an evening hike I am super excited
I just found some interesting porn and wished to consume it to help me fall asleep. Imagination does work but sometimes it takes a while to get off and you can only stay focused so long off just imagination.
Grats on your date!
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so just a conspiracy theory but since Scarlett has been in france stephano hasnt streamed could be while she is staying at his place she doesnt want him to stream so people dont see/hear her there.
User was banned for this post.
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On July 29 2015 00:04 tmzwannbe wrote:
so just a conspiracy theory but since Scarlett has been in france stephano hasnt streamed could be while she is staying at his place she doesnt want him to stream so people dont see/hear her there.
why are you posting this all over tl, and what has that to do with this thread?
*edit* gotta love tl mods :D
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On July 28 2015 23:53 CosmicSpiral wrote:Show nested quote +On July 28 2015 23:36 LemOn wrote:On July 28 2015 17:43 obesechicken13 wrote:Well that was a short no porn. It's so hard to stay erect without watching something and I guess my libido isn't what it used to be. No longer horny every day. I can continue no fap to porn though. A good point from some Dr. Richard Krueger, says gambling and alcohol only affect about 10% of the people that use them heavily. So he estimates the same for Porn. I'm guessing it's not as big of a deal for the vast majority of people. If I didn't drink I would find my dopamine hits elsewhere just appreciating little things throughout the day more every once in a while. But I often have months where I go without beer. And I don't really ever gamble eg. at a Casino or over cards. http://www.macleans.ca/society/life/can-swearing-off-porn-improve-your-life/Maybe porn isn't so bad and I can justify its use. eh porn sucks it can take several months to get used to no porn tho and get to normal, guess you will never find out The positive effects of NoFap are dubious, to say the least.
Don't care about fap/nofap, I just know over consumption of porn is just bad. And at least for me it's prety black and white, I either watch it or don't. I'd like to see a single person who was watching porn daily for 10+years, stopped and didn't see the large benefits, especially in committed relationships
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I rarely post here anymore, but I'd like to get advice here as I'm totally lost.
How do you approach a girl that is extremely naive, doesn't drink and doesn't go out at night, never. By naive I mean she is 22 and I'd be surprised if she has kissed 3 boys in her life. I see her regularly at gym (CF Girl) and we always talk. I mean, how do you escalate or what shoud I ask her out to do?
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EPT
