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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On July 21 2015 20:46 unsaeglich wrote:
@bloodwhore when you wake up in the morning, aren't you crazy horny? Just try to beginn with that. I think a girl can do many things that make her sexy besides being hot, so unless you find her ugly that shouldn't be an issue.
I always am, however my libido has gone down a ton after the first time I spent the night with her though.
I don't know, she was in a relationship for 3 years until february or something so I don't know if she is stuck in the same routine they had everytime they had sex. However it hasn't really been that fun or exciting, that can have to do with that I'm not that horny too though.
On July 21 2015 20:46 unsaeglich wrote:
I mean if you have the possibility to make out with gay friend you could do that. I did that too, and don't regrett it, he's still the only boy who I kiss with when we see each other, very nice and handsome guy, but for me it's like for you, I just don't get horny at all, even tho we made out when we were drunk. I just know the sad truth that I am not bi :/
Haha what!? Why would I make out with a gay friend? Not sure what this has to do with anything either...
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just have sex with her, she's pretty much perfectly what you are looking for. Get off your high horse dude, and just accept that she's awesome even though she's not spening half the day on 4chan. She is 120% too good for you, and you're lucky to even get your dick near her. So fuck your bullshit standards.
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On July 21 2015 21:27 unsaeglich wrote:
just have sex with her, she's pretty much perfectly what you are looking for. Get off your high horse dude, and just accept that she's awesome even though she's not spening half the day on 4chan. She is 120% too good for you, and you're lucky to even get your dick near her. So fuck your bullshit standards.
I think its more a case of his standards fucking him in this case.
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Which girl are you talking about? The one I told I just wanted to be friends with or the other one? If it's the latter one I've already tried and failed twice if you have not been reading the thread.
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we think that you have too high standards and that's why you (subconsciously or not) think that she's not good enough, and that's why you don't get hard..
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On July 21 2015 22:17 unsaeglich wrote:
we think that you have too high standards and that's why you (subconsciously or not) think that she's not good enough, and that's why you don't get hard..
If that's what you think, telling me to "just have sex with her" is just awful advice. The problem in the first place is that I can't. I can't just bruteforce a boner. The solution would be to go no fap and stop watching a porn to get ride of the extreme standards I have.
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On July 21 2015 22:27 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On July 21 2015 22:17 unsaeglich wrote:
we think that you have too high standards and that's why you (subconsciously or not) think that she's not good enough, and that's why you don't get hard.. If that's what you think, telling me to "just have sex with her" is just awful advice. The problem in the first place is that I can't. I can't just bruteforce a boner.
theres allways cable ties^^
On a more serious note: i have been in more or lesse xactly your courrent situation. and just stopping porn solved it. So no porn for a while mitght just do it for you. Also it cant do any harm, so there is no downside in trying it.
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On July 21 2015 22:27 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On July 21 2015 22:17 unsaeglich wrote:
we think that you have too high standards and that's why you (subconsciously or not) think that she's not good enough, and that's why you don't get hard.. If that's what you think, telling me to "just have sex with her" is just awful advice. The problem in the first place is that I can't. I can't just bruteforce a boner. The solution would be to go no fap and stop watching a porn to get ride of the extreme standards I have.
Actually yes you can, you just need time, patience, and the right amount of stimulation.
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On July 21 2015 22:39 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:Show nested quote +On July 21 2015 22:27 bloodwhore~ wrote:On July 21 2015 22:17 unsaeglich wrote:
we think that you have too high standards and that's why you (subconsciously or not) think that she's not good enough, and that's why you don't get hard.. If that's what you think, telling me to "just have sex with her" is just awful advice. The problem in the first place is that I can't. I can't just bruteforce a boner. The solution would be to go no fap and stop watching a porn to get ride of the extreme standards I have. Actually yes you can, you just need time, patience, and the right amount of stimulation.
That's not bruteforcing.
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On July 21 2015 19:46 Shiragaku wrote:
So I started trying out online dating and after getting past Tumblr gender identities, I am finding myself with a problem. Being trans, I identify as female but I am closer to a pretty boy than looking like a typical girl which makes me wonder if I should approach straight guys or girls at all or simply wait for them to approach me given how odd this situation is.
I would just put what you want clearly in your profile and wait.
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On July 21 2015 22:41 Snotling wrote:Show nested quote +On July 21 2015 22:39 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:On July 21 2015 22:27 bloodwhore~ wrote:On July 21 2015 22:17 unsaeglich wrote:
we think that you have too high standards and that's why you (subconsciously or not) think that she's not good enough, and that's why you don't get hard.. If that's what you think, telling me to "just have sex with her" is just awful advice. The problem in the first place is that I can't. I can't just bruteforce a boner. The solution would be to go no fap and stop watching a porn to get ride of the extreme standards I have. Actually yes you can, you just need time, patience, and the right amount of stimulation. That's not bruteforcing.
What, rubbing your soft dick until it's hard? Yes it is.
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or just dont try to sleep with random people, find the one that you will go crazy about (like you said there was one girl like that before ;p)
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On July 21 2015 22:36 Snotling wrote:
On a more serious note: i have been in more or lesse xactly your courrent situation. and just stopping porn solved it. So no porn for a while mitght just do it for you. Also it cant do any harm, so there is no downside in trying it.
Thanks, makes me more hopeful when hearing people saying that it helps 
or just dont try to sleep with random people, find the one that you will go crazy about (like you said there was one girl like that before ;p)
Yeah this is probably one idea, but I thought this girl wanted something serious before the first time we tried to fuck. I wanted to fall for her as well, so it wasn't just a random person I tried to sleep with. However you are probably right, it would probably be easier to find someone I truly like.
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My first girlfriend, I had the same issue the first time but she was understanding. Things were a go the second time. For me it was primarily nerves, even if you don't think it's affecting you I think they probably still are on some level. I know that when I have to tell myself "I'm not nervous about X", the very fact that I'm telling that to myself means I'm nervous. The no fap should definitely help though.
Have you tried thinking solely of how badly you want to wreck her? Something like, thinking about her naked throughout the day and anticipating it all, without the thought that you're losing your virginity or anything. If you focus completely on what you want to do to her it might help your desire (overcome the "no connection" thing) while making you less aware of yourself, it seems to help me sometimes. Getting into a sort of ravenous animal/beast mode, no thinking. If you need foreplay, then doing whatever *you* want to do (whatever you fantasized about all day, or whatever crosses your mind in the moment), not what you think will get her off - you can always do that next time after getting over this hump. If you're really not interested in her though, then of course this would be more difficult.
Also have you put on a condom successfully (guessing that you'll use them)? If you're fumbling around it definitely won't help. If you can do it smoothly on the first try it's one less potential roadblock.
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Remember to tell her you had an online community of people giving you advice and rooting for your erection, after the deed is done.
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I'd love to see that. If it's a favorable witty response, you have a winner!
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On July 21 2015 19:46 Shiragaku wrote:
So I started trying out online dating and after getting past Tumblr gender identities, I am finding myself with a problem. Being trans, I identify as female but I am closer to a pretty boy than looking like a typical girl which makes me wonder if I should approach straight guys or girls at all or simply wait for them to approach me given how odd this situation is.
Might find some better luck on a site specifically for lgbt. Otherwise if someone doesn't like you for being trans, they just won't respond. No one cares enough to remember the messages and chide you for it, and if they do, block them.
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I don't know if people will just ignore it. It might be an interesting social experiment: what percentage of people you message will send you back hateful messages? Probably depends on your area and who you target. But you'd still have to sort through some negativity. Online dating is really all about maximizing chances to meet new people face to face while minimizing emotionally draining interactions.
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On July 22 2015 00:34 Sir_Figs wrote:
Have you tried thinking solely of how badly you want to wreck her?
Also have you put on a condom successfully (guessing that you'll use them)?
Kind of, I don't know, to some degree. Not as much as I have thought about fucking other girls. That hardcore 'I want push her against the wall and fuck her brains out' feeling isn't really there. I think it has something to do with that at first I wanted to get to know her better to see if I really liked her since I thought both of us were going for something more serious. However after finding out she wasn't interested in that I kind of just went for it anyway, I guess I got a bit bummed out.
Yeah I will use a condom, I fapped with a condo the day before our first attempt.
Remember to tell her you had an online community of people giving you advice and rooting for your erection, after the deed is done.
Haha, if things go to shit I will definitely do that. That's pretty hilarious. :D
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On July 22 2015 02:46 bloodwhore~ wrote:
Haha, if things go to shit I will definitely do that. That's pretty hilarious. :D
"Congratz, this premature ejaculation/erection-problem were brought to you by: the teamliquid-community. Be sure to get your merchandise at the teamLiquid Store." Maybe mention the usernames that "helped" the most by that opportunity  .
Remember to tell her you had an online community of people giving you advice and rooting for your erection, after the deed is done.
I immediately had to think about this, when reading that quote.
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EPT
