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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
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3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
Wow dude what happened?? Did you blow a sure thing?
Didn't really "blow a sure thing". We met up yesterday, still couldn't get hard (rip my dick), she did compliment on my "going down" skills though. I'm pretty sure I have some kind of porn induced dick problem, will probably tell her tomorrow that there is no point trying to fuck for a couple of weeks.
She doesn't seem to be to phased about the whole thing though, other than she wondered if it was her fault which I reassured her it was not. I don't really get that emotional about things like this - I'm used to having bad luck/putting myself in bad situations however it is a hassle...
He's was alright she was just putting it out there not to be too clingy since she was going to take his virginity.
Pushing up the next meeting probably didn't help much but sounds like he should be fine so long as he doesn't start obsessing after he has sex (though that's probably what's going to happen)
I highly doubt I would get clingy after having sex. I can't recall a single time where I've missed someone. I'm bit a of a hermit and I need my space myself.
The beginning of the "era of no fap" is real.
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On July 20 2015 18:05 Monolith5 wrote:Show nested quote +Traditionally, any television series (referable to as "shows" [sing. "show"]) that featured overt displays of emotion is considered effeminate because men are supposed to be tough and suppress any such "weakness". It might have been my writing, but I only use that terminology because it's what everyone around here (Orange County, California) is used to hearing and saying. I actually quite disagree with that... what, stereotype?
"Kush" is a slang term for marijuana. Some people take dives in intelligence when they smoke it, while others become more capable of focus, and yet others become more emotionally aware or something along those lines.
I really couldn't tell if you were asking seriously or not, so here's a semi-serious answer. I was asking serious. I just don't understand how can girly dramas help with introspection. Like I can understand the weed and how can it help with introspection but those girly dramas, not really. Thanks for the answer but I am still kinda confused.
Use it as a point of reference to compare and contrast with your own situation where applicable. Just about anything can be used this way, really - books, games, whatever you want. Having these resources available can help you realize things you wouldn't have otherwise. The same can be said of advice given by friends and family but, in the end, reading the immediate situation and any final decisions are on your shoulders.
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On July 20 2015 18:39 bloodwhore~ wrote:Didn't really "blow a sure thing". We met up yesterday, still couldn't get hard (rip my dick), she did compliment on my "going down" skills though. I'm pretty sure I have some kind of porn induced dick problem,[...]
Of course you couldn't get hard.... Could have told you that before. It's because you are nervous as fuck, and you want your dick to be hard. That's not going to work.
You know why jerking off (to porn) works? Because you are alone, there is no pressure and you are relaxed. You do not think about jerking off/having sex, you just do it.
I believe spending some time with her, learning to trust her etc. is going to help. Although I'm not sure whether she's interested in beeing your cuddle bear.
On July 20 2015 18:39 bloodwhore~ wrote:
[...], will probably tell her tomorrow that there is no point trying to fuck for a couple of weeks.
And why would you do that?
On July 20 2015 18:39 bloodwhore~ wrote:
The beginning of the "era of no fap" is real.
As long as you are not watching porn on a daily basis, I doubt that this will change anything. But whatever floats your boat...
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I believe spending some time with her, learning to trust her etc. is going to help. Although I'm not sure whether she's interested in beeing your cuddle bear.
Yeah I'm not really sure she is interested in this either.
And why would you do that?
To spare my feels of failing to get hard. We don't have an awful a lot of time and place to fuck anyway in next weeks either so I thought it could be a good time. Maybe kinda unnecessary to tell that I'm going to do that though since she might think im super fucked up.
As long as you are not watching porn on a daily basis, I doubt that this will change anything
I'm just going to go out on a limb and say I have been addicted to porn and it seemingly a good way to reset the brain. I maybe won't cut out fapping entirely, but I will definitely only fap just using my imagination.
+ Show Spoiler +
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You could also take half a viagra pill as a crutch
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On July 20 2015 22:26 GoTuNk! wrote:
You could also take half a viagra pill as a crutch This is a terrible idea. Fix the crux of problem, not the symptoms.
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On July 20 2015 23:26 calgar wrote:Show nested quote +On July 20 2015 22:26 GoTuNk! wrote:
You could also take half a viagra pill as a crutch This is a terrible idea. Fix the crux of problem, not the symptoms.
We he could get it done before the girl gets bored. It will be the best 5 secs of his life, and he will be rdy for a 2nd round in 5 minutes imo.
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On July 20 2015 22:26 GoTuNk! wrote:
You could also take half a viagra pill as a crutch
Unless you are bloodwhore's MD, please don't give this kind of advice. Given his posting so far, he is somewhere between 18 and 21 years old. Viagra should not be prescribed to this age group except by doctors.
Although you may be tempted to order Viagra discreetly from one of the hundreds of Web sites that sell it, don't. "It's bad medicine," Murdock says. You really must bring your doctor into your sex life if you want to use Viagra.
When you buy from an online pharmacy, you just have to answer some health questions before you proceed to the checkout page. If you answer honestly -- and that might be a big "if" for those determined to get what they want -- the questionnaire may catch some possible complications. But the pharmacists who fill your order don't know your medical history, and no questionnaire can diagnose the root cause of your problem. Erectile dysfunction can have serious underlying causes, like diabetes, heart disease, liver disease, or thyroid disease.
http://www.webmd.com/men/features/viagra-how-young-is-too-young?page=2
In this case, however, it is far more likely to simply be attributed to bloodwhore being very nervous when with this girl, and scared of failure. Ironically, this combination is a gigantic turn-off and your willy will go straight to sleep when affronted with these two emotions. The best advice we can give you is to get naked, and just spend time with the girl. Get comfortable being naked with her and just give it time. Given that porn obviously does the trick for you, this is mostly in your mind. Also, laying off the fap fap for a few days can't do any harm (except that you are likely to go from erectile disfunction to premature ejaculation. Don't worry: the latter is completely normal behaviour for your first time).
The best thing you can, and NEED TO, do, is put your girl's mind at ease. The first thing that goes through a girl's mind when this happens is that it is her fault: she is somehow too unattractive to even give you a hard-on. Reassure her that this is absolutely not the case and that you just need time to get over your nerves (probably, if you are worried, or the problem persists, you should get off the internet and go and talk to your MD). Given your latest posts, it seems you have already put her at ease, so good for you! Now just put your own mind at ease 
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Yeah I'm not going to do viagra.
And some of you might be correct that it's being nervous that gets me, but I really think I have a problem with porn so I'm going to fix do no fap nontheless.
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Acrofales is 100% right, I was suggesting an emergency solution to your problem.
Here you can just buy it over the counter, I remember a couple of friends taking a pill "for fun" back when I was at school.
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Good call. I'll join you in nofap. How much do you plan to go for without porn for your first set?
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My very unplanned plan is to go without trying to have sex with her or fap/watch porn for around 3-4 weeks. When we are both back at university I'll probably ask her if she wants to try again. Other than that I will continue with nofap. If she doesn't want to see me anymore in that way I'll look into Tinder again. She will be incredibly busy the first month since she is taking care of the new students. I mean it wouldn't surprise me if she wants to fuck another guy since it's probably a bit of a hassle to deal with a new guy with problems and since she is a girl she has it super easy to find someone else.
My plan is basically to go nofap for at least 1-2 months or fap just using my imagination maybe once or twice a week tops. Don't want to get in the situation again.
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On July 20 2015 19:06 JoeCool wrote:Show nested quote +On July 20 2015 18:39 bloodwhore~ wrote:Wow dude what happened?? Did you blow a sure thing? Didn't really "blow a sure thing". We met up yesterday, still couldn't get hard (rip my dick), she did compliment on my "going down" skills though. I'm pretty sure I have some kind of porn induced dick problem,[...] Of course you couldn't get hard.... Could have told you that before. It's because you are nervous as fuck, and you want your dick to be hard. That's not going to work. You know why jerking off (to porn) works? Because you are alone, there is no pressure and you are relaxed. You do not think about jerking off/having sex, you just do it.
This is very true. When you're with her try not to think about the sex too much. Remember you're not currently having sex and there's no guarantee you will have sex. You're just sitting together, or whatever you happen to be doing. Stay in the moment and out of your head. If you see yourself thinking too much again, tell yourself "STOP" and focus on something else. Something that's actually happening at that exact moment.
This same thing happened when I first had the opportunity to have sex with the girl I'm currently dating. It had never happened to me before in the past. I think it was a mixture of the alcohol, and just wanting the sex and to get hard so bad that I simply couldn't do it. She was by far the most beautiful girl I had ever been with, and I psyched myself out. Yea, it was embarrassing at first, but I did a little research on how to keep that from happening again, and it worked just fine the next time around!
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Is this the time where i may suggest you wait until you found someone special to lose your virginity too? Honestly your first time will not be great and if you just do it with any girl that lets you you may regret it later. You only have this one chance and id argue a lot of people who had their first time with someone special would never trade it for 2 min of brainless flopping. Obviously u can do whatever floats your boxa, but reflecting on your motives is my advise to you.
Concerning your other issue: dont worry, millions of Men where there before you and it is nothing to lose sleep over!
Regardless of what happens next, gl hf
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United States15275 Posts
Let's not confuse the symbolic importance of virginity with its physical importance. That's the entire problem bloodwhore is facing in the first place. He's making this a much bigger deal than it really is.
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Im not confusing anything and i know i wasnt asked for advise. Didnt stop me from expressing my view of things.
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As a counterpoint, I was blackout drunk when I lost my virginity and I regret nothing!
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On July 21 2015 05:34 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:
As a counterpoint, I was blackout drunk when I lost my virginity and I regret nothing!
High five!
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On July 21 2015 05:18 CosmicSpiral wrote:
He's making this a much bigger deal than it really is.
How am I making this a bigger problem? Do you think it is purely because I'm nervous? I don't know, I've slept in her bed twice now.
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On July 21 2015 06:24 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On July 21 2015 05:18 CosmicSpiral wrote:
He's making this a much bigger deal than it really is. How am I making this a bigger problem? Do you think it is purely because I'm nervous? I don't know, I've slept in her bed twice now.
i used to have that problem once in a while like i said earlier, just dont touch your dick dont think about porn dont watch porn or do anything besides piss or wash it and after a couple of days your erections will come back
nothing more frustrating than being ready mentally and your dick deciding it doesnt want to work.
even in my first time i was so nervous i thought i was going to pass out but still never had any problems with it working when i needed it to lol
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EPT
