EPTid say just ask her out again and if things proceed as normal and you still think she likes you just tell her that you want to be in a relationship with her (if thats what you want). worst case scenario, shell tell you thats not what shes looking for and you guys will probs go through a break up kind of thing, which is what it looks like will happen during the summer anyway
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 624
| Forum Index > General Forum |
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
|
evilfatsh1t
Australia8653 Posts
id say just ask her out again and if things proceed as normal and you still think she likes you just tell her that you want to be in a relationship with her (if thats what you want). worst case scenario, shell tell you thats not what shes looking for and you guys will probs go through a break up kind of thing, which is what it looks like will happen during the summer anyway | ||
|
DarkPlasmaBall
United States44334 Posts
On May 29 2015 18:48 Gyaru wrote: Here's my dating story. 2 weeks ago I went on a blind date with a girl and had an amazing time. Ended up spending over 5 hours with each other. Bit of background, we both got out of quite long relationships about 2 months ago. Two days after the date she asks me to come to a party, I ofcourse oblige and we end up spending the night together. Everything is good, we spend two more nights together the next week. While she told me she is not looking for a relationship, she also said that would we end up in one in the future it wouldn't be the end of the world. This tuesday we went out for dinner, she invited another couple to join, I had met them once or twice before so I didn't really think much of it. We had a good time, laughed kissed and snuggled like a real newly in love couple would do at a double date. After the dinner I go back to her place, have tea and talk some more. She then asks me to leave (not rudely or anything), she has a early morning or whatever, so I go home. She texts me saying something along the lines of "Im sorry if the date wasnt too great, ill make it up to you I promisse". After this I havent heard too much from her. When we do text its mainly smalltalk from her side, not the same semi-teasing as before. So at this point I feel like I'm going crazy trying to understand if she got fed up with me, if I'm just overanalyizing (which I may have a tendecy to do in general) or if she is afraid of going to fast too early after a breakup. What makes it suck even more is that the summer is coming up and we probably wont be able to see each other until september. Sounds like you two had a wonderful time on that date, but then in retrospect she wasn't sure if you enjoyed the night as much as she did... she apparently feels guilty or worried that she didn't leave as great an impression on you (that night) as she really did. I would just assure her that you had a wonderful time on your double date and that you're excited to see her again  | ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On May 29 2015 18:48 Gyaru wrote: Here's my dating story. 2 weeks ago I went on a blind date with a girl and had an amazing time. Ended up spending over 5 hours with each other. Bit of background, we both got out of quite long relationships about 2 months ago. Two days after the date she asks me to come to a party, I ofcourse oblige and we end up spending the night together. Everything is good, we spend two more nights together the next week. While she told me she is not looking for a relationship, she also said that would we end up in one in the future it wouldn't be the end of the world. This tuesday we went out for dinner, she invited another couple to join, I had met them once or twice before so I didn't really think much of it. We had a good time, laughed kissed and snuggled like a real newly in love couple would do at a double date. After the dinner I go back to her place, have tea and talk some more. She then asks me to leave (not rudely or anything), she has a early morning or whatever, so I go home. She texts me saying something along the lines of "Im sorry if the date wasnt too great, ill make it up to you I promisse". After this I havent heard too much from her. When we do text its mainly smalltalk from her side, not the same semi-teasing as before. So at this point I feel like I'm going crazy trying to understand if she got fed up with me, if I'm just overanalyizing (which I may have a tendecy to do in general) or if she is afraid of going to fast too early after a breakup. What makes it suck even more is that the summer is coming up and we probably wont be able to see each other until september. Looks like she's on the rebound, expect volatility like that. The initial passion, jumping into dinner parties and couply stuff right off the bat suggests that - something you miss at the end of a relationship and trying to fill the void eagerly. If I were you I'd tighten my game up, do strictly 1on1 dates for a bit and if texting becomes small talk, just cut it out and focus on setting dates over the phone and that's it, resume texting + dates with other people only if things get steamy again On May 29 2015 18:53 evilfatsh1t wrote: id say just ask her out again and if things proceed as normal and you still think she likes you just tell her that you want to be in a relationship with her (if thats what you want). worst case scenario, shell tell you thats not what shes looking for and you guys will probs go through a break up kind of thing, which is what it looks like will happen during the summer anyway Definitely DO NOT Mention relationship, don't have "the talk" with a girl on the rebound, you'll regret that later. You are not a couple, there is no such thing as breakup at this stage and best thing is to have a very lenient open attitude towards her, give her affection but loads of freedom. And if it is the case and you are the rebound relationship (signs suggest that from your post strongly) even is she brings it up just tell her you just want to spend time with her one day at a time and see where it goes without over thinking it | ||
|
sukininacchatta
1 Post
I was planning on making a move soon but wasn't rushing things, but then yesterday I found out that in less than two weeks her stay here is coming to an end so I'm really bummed out. My head tells me to just let it go since there's no way I have enough time to make it work. But then my heart is telling me that I can't know unless I try, and I've got nothing to lose anyway. If she doesn't want to give it a go I will likely not see her again, and the same thing will happen if I just give up on the idea. There's also the added problem that there's this other guy in our circle of friends that likes her and has been pretty obvious about it. So far my impression was that she didn't feel the same way but I'm not sure about this, apparently they were hanging out last night. In any case I feel I just have to decide whether I want to go for it. If I do I'm already all-in at that point and any complications can be dealt with along the way. | ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
| ||
|
obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
| ||
|
farvacola
United States18827 Posts
| ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On May 31 2015 01:08 obesechicken13 wrote: When/if you were 24 what was your age range? 18-32 ? | ||
|
obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
Seems kinda large. Aren't most 26+ year old females not interested in 24yr old guys? And 18 is finishing high school/starting University where I live. | ||
|
GreenHorizons
United States23231 Posts
On May 31 2015 02:51 obesechicken13 wrote: Seems kinda large. Aren't most 26+ year old females not interested in 24yr old guys? And 18 is finishing high school/starting University where I live. Cast a wide net... at 24 I would at least give a 40yo cougar a shot. You never know. It's fair to say the odds of it being successful fade the further you get away from your own age but depending on how much time you want to spend dating and how many offers you're actually fielding there's nothing wrong with taking the longshot every now and again. | ||
|
obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
| ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On May 31 2015 03:15 GreenHorizons wrote: Cast a wide net... at 24 I would at least give a 40yo cougar a shot. You never know. It's fair to say the odds of it being successful fade the further you get away from your own age but depending on how much time you want to spend dating and how many offers you're actually fielding there's nothing wrong with taking the longshot every now and again. Yeah, attraction is not a choice, you should target primarily a group you find the most pleasant/logical to go for,(online dating/direct approaches) but doubt there ever should be an age limit in terms of being open minded. Like I'm 28 and I prefer partners in the 20-23 age bracket, but why not give someone awesome a chance who's way away from that age bracket | ||
|
StockholmSyndromes
United Kingdom5 Posts
So I dated casually for a bit, hooked up with a few people who I knew were interested, basically enjoyed being single until December '14 when I met this girl and just kind of fell for her instantly (first time in 2 years I'd felt like that). She clearly liked me too, invited me to go see her abroad, and then when she got home down south (I'm in England) but like an idiot I didn't really pick up on it at the time. Met up with her again a month or two back and she was very aloof with me, but I asked her out on a date anyway - said no, wasn't looking to take it past a friendship. Fast forward a month and I'm off on a big trip and suddenly I get a huge message from her saying she's sorry for how she acted and it was because she's dating some guy but doesn't think it's going well - and after I say "hope it works out" she says she's not sure she does. Also plan to fly to Germany with her to meet a mutual friend, she suggests that even if that friend bails, the two of us could go somewhere. Fast forward to sort of...last weekend and she's still seeing the guy, but clearly very excited about going on this trip with me, and she's referring to him as "boyfriend but not boyfriend". Now. From one end, I think if she breaks up with this guy I've got a pretty good shot, and I really do like this girl - again, first time in a long time I've been like this. On the other, it feels like she's attempting to play me a little bit, or kind of hook me along as a back up in case it eventually falls through with the current boyfriend - frankly if she really did like me, she'd be single again by now. I'm not the type of guy (any more! think we all have been before...) to be strung along or dote on a girl just for the hope of dating her, but it's so rare at the moment I feel this strongly about someone. I have, quite simply, no idea what to do. Ce last vie! | ||
|
Epishade
United States2267 Posts
| ||
|
evilfatsh1t
Australia8653 Posts
| ||
|
Monolith5
0 Posts
| ||
|
swag_bro
Japan782 Posts
| ||
|
StockholmSyndromes
United Kingdom5 Posts
On June 01 2015 02:14 swag_bro wrote: Okay kids, I will give you some dating advice. If you see a girl that you like, just go up to her and tell her your feelings and look and act confident. Girls do not like wimps. Do not over think these situations too much. Do not think, just do. In fact, this goes for everything in life. I have gotten high paying jobs and girls that I was unqualified for just because I looked confident. Again, remember not to think, just do. Helps less when I did actually ask her out - confidently, hah. I'm not lacking in confidence. Think I'm going to scrap the whole thing. | ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On June 01 2015 02:16 StockholmSyndromes wrote: Helps less when I did actually ask her out - confidently, hah. I'm not lacking in confidence. Think I'm going to scrap the whole thing. Well done. And when she said no, just stop all contact, pull away and tell her you want her and to get in touch if she wants to spend time with you romantically, otherwise you're not interested. Also confidently, no point in friend zoning yourself like you're doing. No need to wait until she stops seeing the other dude/even mention that either. I personally would not recommend going on the trip with her either, as friends or backup, unless you're really are okay with being friends | ||
|
StockholmSyndromes
United Kingdom5 Posts
On June 01 2015 02:46 LemOn wrote: Well done. And when she said no, just stop all contact, pull away and tell her you want her and to get in touch if she wants to spend time with you romantically, otherwise you're not interested. Also confidently, no point in friend zoning yourself like you're doing. No need to wait until she stops seeing the other dude/even mention that either. I personally would not recommend going on the trip with her either, as friends or backup, unless you're really are okay with being friends I'd say I'm okay with being friends with her, if anything I'll feel better being able to be just mates with her, got enough confidence in myself to believe she's the one missing out as it were. I'll be here if she wants to talk, that's what mates are for, but eh, I'll find someone else - it's nice to know I can get attached to someone again if anything, so I can use this going forward. Ta for advice folks | ||
| ||
