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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
I'm honestly completely unsure as to what direction this thread has right now, so uh... I guess I'll post with regards to the title? :-P
+ Show Spoiler +My dating life has been pretty nonexistent 'til college, I've always been on the pudgier side, pretty awkward around women, and generally on the shy side, I've had a few "girlfriends" but I really don't even like to qualify those periods of my life as such, one was when I was like, twelve, and the other was... egh, complicate? She was a crazy whore so I just leave that at that. :-p So I got to college (I'm going to an art college, and the gender ratio is 70:30 in favor of women, so I figured maybe my luck would improve) and by the time I was ready for college I had started to slim down a lot more, I can't put my finger on WHY, because I was leading the same sort of life as I was under my pudgier days. Through high school I had become a lot more outgoing and confident in myself, so I went into college actually completely indifferent to my relationship situation and completely disregarding any possibility of a relationship. (partially because the freshman year is apparently brutally difficult and uh... yeah, it can be rough) To make matters worse, the day before class started, at this thing we do called the Lantern Lighting (picture spoilered here, yes, its a crazy glowstick party. :-D) + Show Spoiler + stole my phone, glasses and jacket, so the following days I was pretty pissy and irritated, generally antisocial. So my first impression with my classmates was kind of... poor. I would get into class and pop open the GSL for a half'n hour and sit there 'til class began. So a few weeks into the school year I posted on facebook (after I had become more friendly with my section mates, who are actually completely awesome, lucky me! :-D) that I was bored and going to watch South Park if anyone wanted to hang out. So this cute Korean girl in my class posted that she'd like to, so basically she came over to my room and we watched South Park and stuff and she wound up falling asleep leaning up against me. I'm a sucker for a sleeping girl, so I kind of just stay up and let her sleep leaning on me, and around 5am she wakes up and goes back to her room. From there on we hung out a lot more, and she liked to sleep in my bed, so occasionally we would nap in my bed, completely innocently, like, we seriously just slept in my bed, like... it's intended purpose, lol. So by then I supposed that maybe this was going towards a relationship? Anyways eventually while we were hanging out, she was helping me pick out some new glasses (turned out the store didn't have anything... not expensive as hell) and we went looking around for more. So we pass by this Indian place and she asks if we can get something to eat, so we go and get some curry, I pay, and we look around some clothing shops and try stuff on, and when we're walking home she asks, "Did we just go on a date." To which I reply, "...I think so." And thats how my current relationship started. :-D The relationship itself is pretty great, we're pretty affectionate, and she understands that I can't really afford to constantly pay for every date, so we alternate paying, and its generally really nice. We're pretty different people, but I think theres some really nice chemistry. ^_^
Warning, spoiler contains a longish story about how I got into my current relationship. :-p
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On January 04 2013 08:34 obesechicken13 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 08:10 HornyHerring wrote:
Dunno why but every time I see this thread in the sidenavbar it reads "Dating, how's your dick?" No normal person knows what that thing is called by its real name? Who are you and what do you do?!
he is HornyHerring
and he distracts you from all horny thread topics by throwing you a red herring
though you went for the one he didn't intentionally place there for you
in all seriousness, plenty of people know that it's a sidenavbar, makes sense doesn't it? side (it's on the side of your content), navigation(it helps you navigate the website), bar(well it is a bar isn't it?)
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was in a relationship for 4.5 years... i am in no hurry to get back into one. 1 night stands are the way to go.. you can also play as much starcraft and smoke all the weed you want without a girl telling you what to do!
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On January 04 2013 08:40 unit wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 08:34 obesechicken13 wrote:On January 04 2013 08:10 HornyHerring wrote:
Dunno why but every time I see this thread in the sidenavbar it reads "Dating, how's your dick?" No normal person knows what that thing is called by its real name? Who are you and what do you do?! he is HornyHerring and he distracts you from all horny thread topics by throwing you a red herring though you went for the one he didn't intentionally place there for you in all seriousness, plenty of people know that it's a sidenavbar, makes sense doesn't it? side (it's on the side of your content), navigation(it helps you navigate the website), bar(well it is a bar isn't it?)
Well yes, it seems to make sense but no one would just guess that's what its called. He has to work with the web in some way or just felt bored and opened up developer tools. I'd call it a sidenavmenu since it's actually more like a menu than a bar.
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On January 04 2013 08:45 obesechicken13 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 08:40 unit wrote:On January 04 2013 08:34 obesechicken13 wrote:On January 04 2013 08:10 HornyHerring wrote:
Dunno why but every time I see this thread in the sidenavbar it reads "Dating, how's your dick?" No normal person knows what that thing is called by its real name? Who are you and what do you do?! he is HornyHerring and he distracts you from all horny thread topics by throwing you a red herring though you went for the one he didn't intentionally place there for you in all seriousness, plenty of people know that it's a sidenavbar, makes sense doesn't it? side (it's on the side of your content), navigation(it helps you navigate the website), bar(well it is a bar isn't it?) Well yes, it seems to make sense but no one would just guess that's what its called. He has to work with the web in some way or just felt bored and opened up developer tools. I'd call it a sidenavmenu since it's actually more like a menu than a bar.
Personally, it seems more like a column with multiple rows to me, but sidenavcolumnrows might be harder to say. ^^
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On January 04 2013 08:19 IntoTheheart wrote:
I'll answer the original question which makes me look like a colossal loser:
I'm 18 and have never kissed a girl (or guy).
Gender: M.
Hahaha, boosh!
I'm 30 in a few years with the same track record. Relax. Or, not relax, maybe!
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everything is illuminated
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On January 04 2013 07:54 r.Evo wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 07:34 phipsL wrote:On January 04 2013 00:17 ShrieK wrote:On January 03 2013 23:52 phipsL wrote:
Bad Luck only. I am 18 still virgin and never had a relationship because for some reason every girl friendzones me and says things like "if only my boyfriend was like you"
esports and my computer are the only things i need... and my bed. It's not bad luck.. figure out the reason why they do that and fix it. thats harder than it sounds because i dont really know what im doing wrong. For example the last girl i was texting with. I met her in hospital (she was one of my patients and i am a male nurse) and she randomly gave me her number. After a week or so she said "yeah, of course i want to meet you again, thats why i gave you my number" and then another week later i asked her when we could meet. She replied with "i dont know, it depends on the weather" which for me seems like a very questionable answer and more like bad excuse because i dont know about the weather in america or so but in germany its kinda bad at the moment, so it would take a few months till the weather gets good again. And i dont really want to run after somebody who gives such a stupid answer. Maybe thats my mistake but i dont think thats an answer a woman would give if she'd actually wanted me to run after her. "Randomly gave me her number" ~ She had bigger balls than you. "When can we meet?" suggest that you try to push the responsibility on her. Suggest a date & place, if she rejects jokingly make her suggest the next round. "I don't know, it depends on the weather" -> "Oh, you're sugar? / You only have like two sets of clothes?" -> Suggest date & place.
1) don't have balls, and probably never gonna get some. also i thought about asking for her number but didnt because i thought i'd be dumb, i mean, who asks someone who he barely saw (and by barely i mean like, only 3 times or so and we didnt even talk) for her number?
2) didnt want to push the responsibility on her, but i don't care about such things like time. i make time for dates or meetings. she says a day i ask my work if i can have a day off that day...
3) yep that answer was stupid, but again, i have no balls to say something like that
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Indeed, the truth can be extremely loud and incredibly close sometimes.
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On January 04 2013 08:58 phipsL wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 07:54 r.Evo wrote:On January 04 2013 07:34 phipsL wrote:On January 04 2013 00:17 ShrieK wrote:On January 03 2013 23:52 phipsL wrote:
Bad Luck only. I am 18 still virgin and never had a relationship because for some reason every girl friendzones me and says things like "if only my boyfriend was like you"
esports and my computer are the only things i need... and my bed. It's not bad luck.. figure out the reason why they do that and fix it. thats harder than it sounds because i dont really know what im doing wrong. For example the last girl i was texting with. I met her in hospital (she was one of my patients and i am a male nurse) and she randomly gave me her number. After a week or so she said "yeah, of course i want to meet you again, thats why i gave you my number" and then another week later i asked her when we could meet. She replied with "i dont know, it depends on the weather" which for me seems like a very questionable answer and more like bad excuse because i dont know about the weather in america or so but in germany its kinda bad at the moment, so it would take a few months till the weather gets good again. And i dont really want to run after somebody who gives such a stupid answer. Maybe thats my mistake but i dont think thats an answer a woman would give if she'd actually wanted me to run after her. "Randomly gave me her number" ~ She had bigger balls than you. "When can we meet?" suggest that you try to push the responsibility on her. Suggest a date & place, if she rejects jokingly make her suggest the next round. "I don't know, it depends on the weather" -> "Oh, you're sugar? / You only have like two sets of clothes?" -> Suggest date & place. 1) don't have balls, and probably never gonna get some. also i thought about asking for her number but didnt because i thought i'd be dumb, i mean, who asks someone who he barely saw (and by barely i mean like, only 3 times or so and we didnt even talk) for her number? 2) didnt want to push the responsibility on her, but i don't care about such things like time. i make time for dates or meetings. she says a day i ask my work if i can have a day off that day... 3) yep that answer was stupid, but again, i have no balls to say something like that
Just sounds like a confidence issue. Asking a girl for her number doesn't uniformly mean that you have to date her. I got probably 5-10 numbers from girls I just randomly chatted with for a while during orientation/first week of classes in college this year, and I only talk with a few on a daily/weekly basis.
Girls also like confidence. The reason that you should pick a time/place is it shows you're willing to take control. Whether or not it's a good thing, a girl doesn't want to have to make all the decisions.
IMO: Don't be afraid to ask for a number. It doesn't mean you have to marry the girl. At worst, she declines, and you don't ever have to speak to her again (if a girl feels the need to decline it's unlikely you're going to talk much). At best, you'll get a date out of it.
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On January 04 2013 08:41 bobsire wrote:
was in a relationship for 4.5 years... i am in no hurry to get back into one. 1 night stands are the way to go.. you can also play as much starcraft and smoke all the weed you want without a girl telling you what to do!
bingo
Just enjoy the good times, life is short enough! I don't get why society tries to force me to have a girlfriend/wife.
I clearly see some good points in relationships, but overall... not now, not soon. But definitely sometime.
@CosmicSpiral
That's some really interessting stuff there. I will google about Glengarry Glenn Ross. Thanks for that! 
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On January 04 2013 08:53 Alryk wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 08:45 obesechicken13 wrote:On January 04 2013 08:40 unit wrote:On January 04 2013 08:34 obesechicken13 wrote:On January 04 2013 08:10 HornyHerring wrote:
Dunno why but every time I see this thread in the sidenavbar it reads "Dating, how's your dick?" No normal person knows what that thing is called by its real name? Who are you and what do you do?! he is HornyHerring and he distracts you from all horny thread topics by throwing you a red herring though you went for the one he didn't intentionally place there for you in all seriousness, plenty of people know that it's a sidenavbar, makes sense doesn't it? side (it's on the side of your content), navigation(it helps you navigate the website), bar(well it is a bar isn't it?) Well yes, it seems to make sense but no one would just guess that's what its called. He has to work with the web in some way or just felt bored and opened up developer tools. I'd call it a sidenavmenu since it's actually more like a menu than a bar. Personally, it seems more like a column with multiple rows to me, but sidenavcolumnrows might be harder to say. ^^
If you're referring to the entire left column, it is just a sidebar, it has no class or id attribute associated with it as far as I can tell, however each individual section within that sidebar has a class="sidemenu"
In a response to the OP, my first thought is that you either had no clue who this person was before the date, or you were just hoping they were smart and nice when you really knew otherwise. Either way, unless it was a blind date or you spun a wheel or rolled dice to decide who you were going out with, luck had nothing to do with it. You chose to go on a date with a person, and apparently expected something different than what you got. You need to work on reading people or avoid blind dates.
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On January 04 2013 08:58 sam!zdat wrote:
everything is illuminated
Heh. You don't know anything of the world and you never will. But enjoy your normal, 100 IQ life. I'm sure you will. Mediocre people do really have it best.
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On January 04 2013 09:37 drowisimba wrote:Heh. You don't know anything of the world and you never will. But enjoy your normal, 100 IQ life. I'm sure you will. Mediocre people do really have it best.
How exactly does "I am 30 years old and have never kissed a girl" translate to "knowing lots about the (dating) world"?
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On January 04 2013 09:37 drowisimba wrote:Heh. You don't know anything of the world and you never will. But enjoy your normal, 100 IQ life. I'm sure you will. Mediocre people do really have it best.
That explains why you think being smart is not attractive lol, you probably get tons of positive feedback with that attitude,
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Thirty year old virgin who has never kissed telling a stranger that he doesn't know anything of the world and never will. lol
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This thread is interesting. Hopefully people will help each other out and give confidence to those who are not as suave.
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On January 04 2013 09:54 r.Evo wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 09:37 drowisimba wrote:On January 04 2013 08:58 sam!zdat wrote:
everything is illuminated Heh. You don't know anything of the world and you never will. But enjoy your normal, 100 IQ life. I'm sure you will. Mediocre people do really have it best. How exactly does "I am 30 years old and have never kissed a girl" translate to "knowing lots about the (dating) world"?
I don't know, why? (Relevance = zero).
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On January 04 2013 09:58 deathgod6 wrote:
Thirty year old virgin who has never kissed telling a stranger that he doesn't know anything of the world and never will. lol
Guy who obviously can't read comments anyway. lol
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Hi82C.jpg)
stole my phone, glasses and jacket, so the following days I was pretty pissy and irritated, generally antisocial. So my first impression with my classmates was kind of... poor. I would get into class and pop open the GSL for a half'n hour and sit there 'til class began.
