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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
gTank
Profile Joined January 2011
Austria2662 Posts
February 27 2014 13:45 GMT
#8441
How soon is too soon? I would say at least one year before even asking. Breakups after such long relationships are hard to get over with, you can never know when she has a breakdown and some hidden feelings appear again.
One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch...and kablooie!
Slayers_Red.Cracker
Profile Joined March 2011
36 Posts
February 27 2014 14:39 GMT
#8442
On February 27 2014 22:45 gTank wrote:
How soon is too soon? I would say at least one year before even asking. Breakups after such long relationships are hard to get over with, you can never know when she has a breakdown and some hidden feelings appear again.


I always use the 1234 rule of thumb: 1 year 2 months 3 weeks and 4 days is sort of the time it takes for it to be okay. But it might be a week shorter or longer depending on personality.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46233 Posts
February 27 2014 14:58 GMT
#8443
On February 27 2014 23:39 Slayers_Red.Cracker wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 27 2014 22:45 gTank wrote:
How soon is too soon? I would say at least one year before even asking. Breakups after such long relationships are hard to get over with, you can never know when she has a breakdown and some hidden feelings appear again.


I always use the 1234 rule of thumb: 1 year 2 months 3 weeks and 4 days is sort of the time it takes for it to be okay. But it might be a week shorter or longer depending on personality.


That's a "rule"? Exactly that? Regardless of whether it's a month-long relationship or a ten-year relationship???
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
February 27 2014 15:33 GMT
#8444
I think maybe its 2 months per 1 year or 3 weeks per 2 months and 4 days per 3 weeks? That's the only way I make sense of it.
MightyBill
Profile Joined October 2013
93 Posts
February 27 2014 15:42 GMT
#8445
I think he was being very sarcastic because everyone is trying to catch love and dating in a single rule. "When is it okay?" Depends per person per situation and per relation.
fishjie
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States1519 Posts
February 27 2014 19:17 GMT
#8446
Don't date your friends' ex-girlfriends. that's just horrible and bad form. if anyone did that to me i'd auto ban them as friends, and if i did that to them, i'd expect the same treatment. bro code exists for a reason. girls come and go, but friendships are forever. until you ruin them. by trying to make a move on their ex.
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18866 Posts
February 27 2014 19:19 GMT
#8447
That's nonsense; not all bros follow the same code, bro.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
Snotling
Profile Joined August 2011
Germany885 Posts
February 27 2014 19:41 GMT
#8448
On February 28 2014 04:17 fishjie wrote:
bro code exists for a reason.


you realise that the bro code doesn't actually exist?
corumjhaelen
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
France6884 Posts
February 27 2014 19:42 GMT
#8449
I do have an advice about on friend's exes : you might want to ask them if by the greastest misfortune, she might not be the most annoying woman who has crossed his path.
Not that anything of the sort ever happened to me !
‎numquam se plus agere quam nihil cum ageret, numquam minus solum esse quam cum solus esset
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
February 27 2014 20:11 GMT
#8450
Don't people and their exes usually end up getting back together? I've not dated anybody, but I've seen multiple instances of this occurring. I think the close proximity of being a friend to the friend whose ex you're dating would likely end up with her cheating on you and then you losing both your friend and the girl. (Just using "you" in general)

Never date friend's exes unless you're prepared to lose them both.
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
Thienan567
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States670 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-27 22:19:59
February 27 2014 22:19 GMT
#8451
On February 28 2014 04:41 Snotling wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 28 2014 04:17 fishjie wrote:
bro code exists for a reason.


you realise that the bro code doesn't actually exist?


it doesn't exist if you don't have any bros. like the guy above you said the bro code is flexible and varies for different brotherhoods.
fishjie
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States1519 Posts
February 27 2014 22:47 GMT
#8452
On February 28 2014 04:41 Snotling wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 28 2014 04:17 fishjie wrote:
bro code exists for a reason.


you realise that the bro code doesn't actually exist?


that's a pretty meaningless statement. you might as well say no codes of conduct "exist". whatever i'm not here to argue pointless semantics like that. bottom line is, don't have sex with your friend's ex. unless you like drama and being shunned and losing your friends.
rezoacken
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada2719 Posts
February 27 2014 23:48 GMT
#8453
It's just a way of saying "your friends comes first" which in itself is a pretty loose statement. Somebody just thought it was cute to add a bro code label on it but in the end it's just as loose.
Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18866 Posts
February 27 2014 23:48 GMT
#8454
On February 28 2014 07:47 fishjie wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 28 2014 04:41 Snotling wrote:
On February 28 2014 04:17 fishjie wrote:
bro code exists for a reason.


you realise that the bro code doesn't actually exist?


that's a pretty meaningless statement. you might as well say no codes of conduct "exist". whatever i'm not here to argue pointless semantics like that. bottom line is, don't have sex with your friend's ex. unless you like drama and being shunned and losing your friends.

The bottom line is, fishjie's friends are the only kinds of friends that exist, and nobody has ever felt differently about an ex, ever. It is known.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
fishjie
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States1519 Posts
February 28 2014 01:14 GMT
#8455
On February 28 2014 08:48 farvacola wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 28 2014 07:47 fishjie wrote:
On February 28 2014 04:41 Snotling wrote:
On February 28 2014 04:17 fishjie wrote:
bro code exists for a reason.


you realise that the bro code doesn't actually exist?


that's a pretty meaningless statement. you might as well say no codes of conduct "exist". whatever i'm not here to argue pointless semantics like that. bottom line is, don't have sex with your friend's ex. unless you like drama and being shunned and losing your friends.

The bottom line is, fishjie's friends are the only kinds of friends that exist, and nobody has ever felt differently about an ex, ever. It is known.


These are basic common sense things such as don't date a coworker who works on the same team as you. you can ignore them and suffer the consequences while everyone else enjoys the lulz, or you can make good life choices
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
February 28 2014 03:25 GMT
#8456
On February 28 2014 05:11 Epishade wrote:
Don't people and their exes usually end up getting back together? I've not dated anybody, but I've seen multiple instances of this occurring. I think the close proximity of being a friend to the friend whose ex you're dating would likely end up with her cheating on you and then you losing both your friend and the girl. (Just using "you" in general)

Never date friend's exes unless you're prepared to lose them both.

Myself and my blogs exemplify this.
User was warned for too many mimes.
Calanthe
Profile Joined October 2012
United States148 Posts
February 28 2014 03:54 GMT
#8457
team fishjie~
my heart's the bitter buffalo
Kleinmuuhg
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Vanuatu4091 Posts
February 28 2014 09:23 GMT
#8458
On February 28 2014 10:14 fishjie wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 28 2014 08:48 farvacola wrote:
On February 28 2014 07:47 fishjie wrote:
On February 28 2014 04:41 Snotling wrote:
On February 28 2014 04:17 fishjie wrote:
bro code exists for a reason.


you realise that the bro code doesn't actually exist?


that's a pretty meaningless statement. you might as well say no codes of conduct "exist". whatever i'm not here to argue pointless semantics like that. bottom line is, don't have sex with your friend's ex. unless you like drama and being shunned and losing your friends.

The bottom line is, fishjie's friends are the only kinds of friends that exist, and nobody has ever felt differently about an ex, ever. It is known.


These are basic common sense things such as don't date a coworker who works on the same team as you. you can ignore them and suffer the consequences while everyone else enjoys the lulz, or you can make good life choices

Shit i have to gtell my married colleagues that is was a Bad idea and they need to Split asap
This is our town, scrub
terranallin
Profile Joined July 2012
22 Posts
February 28 2014 10:24 GMT
#8459
Since a lot of the TL'ers have an interest for asian women and that TL advertises them, how about lets read a blog concerning the type of son you will get from a white dad and asian mum:

http://stuffseurasianslike.wordpress.com/2013/07/14/9/

Not written by me just passing it along.
+ Show Spoiler +
Disturbing indeed
dravernor
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
Netherlands6192 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-28 11:17:51
February 28 2014 11:06 GMT
#8460
On February 28 2014 19:24 terranallin wrote:
Since a lot of the TL'ers have an interest for asian women and that TL advertises them, how about lets read a blog concerning the type of son you will get from a white dad and asian mum:

http://stuffseurasianslike.wordpress.com/2013/07/14/9/

Not written by me just passing it along.
+ Show Spoiler +
Disturbing indeed

He has issues. That's an attitude problem though. It took me ages to come to terms with the fact my parents are incredibly racist and homophobic, but now I've stopped worrying what they think because it's not up to them to determine who I can and can't be happy with etc. I also disagree with their pov because I find it narrow minded and I like to prove that stereotyping people based on one or two bad interactions, or word of mouth, is stupid.
It is a parent's job to bring up their child to accept themselves, and I think the author of that article has a lot of self loathing issues to deal with that his parents never taught him to work through.
<3
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