EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 422
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
dravernor
Netherlands6192 Posts
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r.Evo
Germany14080 Posts
On February 27 2014 02:29 dravernor wrote: Okay, so, assume your BEST friend has been dating someone 6 years, living together for 5 of them, and they mutually break up. How soon is too soon to move in on the ex? Or does that entirely violate the friendship code? Because not many people seem to think this is an issue but from my pov this is not something you do to a friend, and especially not in the same month they break up. It's fine as soon as your best friend tells you it's fine. If you respect him and value the friendship that is. | ||
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HeeroFX
United States2704 Posts
On February 27 2014 02:29 dravernor wrote: Okay, so, assume your BEST friend has been dating someone 6 years, living together for 5 of them, and they mutually break up. How soon is too soon to move in on the ex? Or does that entirely violate the friendship code? Because not many people seem to think this is an issue but from my pov this is not something you do to a friend, and especially not in the same month they break up. I would say just wait give your friend some time to get over it. Try to just have fun with your friend and stuff a moment will come when you can. There isn't exactly set period of time when you can tell them how you feel. But make sure you tell them, you never know what could happen. | ||
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dravernor
Netherlands6192 Posts
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Ru ba
Serbia1812 Posts
On February 27 2014 02:38 r.Evo wrote: It's fine as soon as your best friend tells you it's fine. If you respect him and value the friendship that is. that's kinda dicey tho and depends on the person.Some people would just tell him that they are fine with it even tho they are not.Not saying OP would be at a fault than but he shouldn't be surprised if it comes around to destroy the friendship after all even tho his friend said it was fine. | ||
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Slayers_Red.Cracker
36 Posts
I think that "love" is a combination of stages, and infatuation and lust are an important part of it. In my experience you go through all stages with your "perfect" partner. You'll be infatuated with her, desire to be with her, cherish being with her, you're happy that you're still with her, you're at peace thinking of her. And it doesn't all have to be from common sense, it's about the feeling that counts. So don't reduce a wonderful feeling by belittling it's components. There's nothing negative about feeling lust or infatuation. It's just your body telling you that someone is very important to you. | ||
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Slayers_Red.Cracker
36 Posts
On February 27 2014 02:46 dravernor wrote: I'd just like to clarify that it isn't me making the move. I am caught between my two best friends who are in this situation, and the friend moving in doesn't seem to feel that it is inconsiderate and is ruining the friendship by doing this. And is upset with me for being honest about how I felt about the whole situation. It's always "Bro's before Ho's, BUT Ladies first" If it's serious they should just go for it, be a man about it and dare to put yourself in a vulnerable position. But if your buddy is going to be half-assed about it because he just wants to get laid, I think it's a dick-move and he's not a real bro. | ||
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Slayers_Red.Cracker
36 Posts
On February 27 2014 01:03 Dogfoodboy16 wrote: Can anyone explain why Allah decides to randomly cockblock me? My gf is a muslim and certain times of each day she has to pray. She tells me we cant have sex right before she prays because if she sweats while praying it will mess with the feng shui of her prayer. We have sex after she prays but it makes me feel like im having a three way with a religious deity. Maybe you should respect your girlfriend (and her religion)? I've been with my lady for like 8 years, and what I learned in those years is that she's more than a sex-doll that responds to my needs whenever I want to. And the other way around as well. It all boils down to respecting each others wishes. | ||
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dravernor
Netherlands6192 Posts
On February 27 2014 01:03 Dogfoodboy16 wrote: Can anyone explain why Allah decides to randomly cockblock me? My gf is a muslim and certain times of each day she has to pray. She tells me we cant have sex right before she prays because if she sweats while praying it will mess with the feng shui of her prayer. We have sex after she prays but it makes me feel like im having a three way with a religious deity. I really get the feeling you're going out of your way to be an asshole about your gf -_- honestly, you should just respect her religion or don't be with her. | ||
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chadissilent
Canada1187 Posts
On February 27 2014 02:46 dravernor wrote: I'd just like to clarify that it isn't me making the move. I am caught between my two best friends who are in this situation, and the friend moving in doesn't seem to feel that it is inconsiderate and is ruining the friendship by doing this. And is upset with me for being honest about how I felt about the whole situation. They won't be friends for much longer. | ||
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Ghostcom
Denmark4783 Posts
Pretty sure some level of lust for the other is part of the love you feel for a significant other - it seems ridiculous to write it off as mere infatuation/"puppy love". One of the best predictors for the longevity of a relationship is after all activity on the sheets (and 70+ year olds are dirty birds I tell you). EDIT: Dat HT-icon. | ||
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Wingblade
United States1806 Posts
On February 27 2014 02:29 dravernor wrote: Okay, so, assume your BEST friend has been dating someone 6 years, living together for 5 of them, and they mutually break up. How soon is too soon to move in on the ex? Or does that entirely violate the friendship code? Because not many people seem to think this is an issue but from my pov this is not something you do to a friend, and especially not in the same month they break up. How soon? Never. I did this to a close friend of mine... Worst mistake I've probably ever made. Tell your friend its a horrible idea, if your two friends are really close its not worth risking, that kind of relationship where a guy moves in on his good friend's ex is not exactly starting with good roots. | ||
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
On February 27 2014 02:46 dravernor wrote: I'd just like to clarify that it isn't me making the move. I am caught between my two best friends who are in this situation, and the friend moving in doesn't seem to feel that it is inconsiderate and is ruining the friendship by doing this. And is upset with me for being honest about how I felt about the whole situation. If it was me I probably wouldn't do it, unless I don't value the friendship. There's just so much that can go wrong over such a situation. Especially if they broke up badly and one is unhappy with the breakup I can see the shit storm coming way ahead. However, if I were to do it anyway I would wait for their thing to be truly over and both having clearly moved on (the friend with someone else etc...). But even then if the purpose is to go beyond just sex, it just smells like shit. | ||
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docvoc
United States5491 Posts
On February 27 2014 08:21 rezoacken wrote: If it was me I probably wouldn't do it, unless I don't value the friendship. There's just so much that can go wrong over such a situation. Especially if they broke up badly and one is unhappy with the breakup I can see the shit storm coming way ahead. However, if I were to do it anyway I would wait for their thing to be truly over and both having clearly moved on (the friend with someone else etc...). But even then if the purpose is to go beyond just sex, it just smells like shit. I agree with this. There are many other girls out there. Unless you are head over heels for this girl, there is absolutely no reason to jeopardize this friendship, unless you two aren't that great of friends. | ||
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dravernor
Netherlands6192 Posts
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killa_robot
Canada1884 Posts
On February 27 2014 02:46 dravernor wrote: I'd just like to clarify that it isn't me making the move. I am caught between my two best friends who are in this situation, and the friend moving in doesn't seem to feel that it is inconsiderate and is ruining the friendship by doing this. And is upset with me for being honest about how I felt about the whole situation. If they're both your friends and she made a move on you pretty close to right after they broke up, it's totally going to look like she left him for you. | ||
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Salteador Neo
Andorra5591 Posts
On February 27 2014 02:29 dravernor wrote: Okay, so, assume your BEST friend has been dating someone 6 years, living together for 5 of them, and they mutually break up. How soon is too soon to move in on the ex? Or does that entirely violate the friendship code? Because not many people seem to think this is an issue but from my pov this is not something you do to a friend, and especially not in the same month they break up. I dated an ex of my friend just a few weeks after they broke up, afer asking him if he was ok with it (he said yes). Whenever he gets drunk he says he is still salty about that. Been over 8 years and his ex and me didn't even date for over a year. So in short: Guys will lie about love stuff to look tough. Such a tricky situation. | ||
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
On February 27 2014 15:56 killa_robot wrote: If they're both your friends and she made a move on you pretty close to right after they broke up, it's totally going to look like she left him for you. It should be made pretty clear to avoid confusion that dravernor is a girl and that the 2 girls she's talking about are two of her friends being involved with a fourth person (a guy). As far as I understand it. | ||
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dravernor
Netherlands6192 Posts
On February 27 2014 17:39 rezoacken wrote: It should be made pretty clear to avoid confusion that dravernor is a girl and that the 2 girls she's talking about are two of her friends being involved with a fourth person (a guy). As far as I understand it. You're correct. I didn't want to make it too obvious, but that is the situation and the friend is not okay with the other friend dating her ex. But they claim it's love. So meh. Apparently worth ruining our friendships over. | ||
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Calanthe
United States148 Posts
On February 27 2014 02:29 dravernor wrote: Okay, so, assume your BEST friend has been dating someone 6 years, living together for 5 of them, and they mutually break up. How soon is too soon to move in on the ex? Or does that entirely violate the friendship code? Because not many people seem to think this is an issue but from my pov this is not something you do to a friend, and especially not in the same month they break up. I think it entirely violates the friendship code. If it's discussed and okayed, then yeah, whatever, or if some ridiculous amount of time has passed, but otherwise, your best friend's ex is always off-limits! I'm sorry your friends are dumb, dravernor. I would like to apply as a pen-pal. | ||
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