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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
February 25 2014 11:49 GMT
#8381
We started out just banging and then I discovered I genuinely liked her.

I didn't jeopardise a friendship by starting to fuck, it was the other way round.
Mikau
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Netherlands1446 Posts
February 25 2014 12:33 GMT
#8382
I don't get it. If you genuinely like her and have good sexual chemistry, what's wrong with the relationship option?
dravernor
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
Netherlands6192 Posts
February 25 2014 12:40 GMT
#8383
What happened to the pregnant girl?
<3
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-25 12:46:57
February 25 2014 12:46 GMT
#8384
On February 25 2014 21:40 dravernor wrote:
What happened to the pregnant girl?


Her father, like all hardcore Christians, is a narrow minded hypocrite and bullied her into having an abortion.

On February 25 2014 21:33 Mikau wrote:
I don't get it. If you genuinely like her and have good sexual chemistry, what's wrong with the relationship option?


I'm not in love with her.

User was temp banned for this post.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
February 25 2014 13:02 GMT
#8385
On February 25 2014 21:46 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 21:40 dravernor wrote:
What happened to the pregnant girl?


Her father, like all hardcore Christians, is a narrow minded hypocrite and bullied her into having an abortion.

That generalization is completely off base and unfair.
User was warned for too many mimes.
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-25 13:19:23
February 25 2014 13:08 GMT
#8386
While it is a generalisation, it's a completely justified one. But I will amend it for your sake.

On February 25 2014 21:46 SixStrings wrote:

Her father, like all hardcore Christians and most religious people, is a narrow minded hypocrite and bullied her into having an abortion.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45342 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-25 13:11:15
February 25 2014 13:10 GMT
#8387
On February 25 2014 22:02 docvoc wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 21:46 SixStrings wrote:
On February 25 2014 21:40 dravernor wrote:
What happened to the pregnant girl?


Her father, like all hardcore Christians, is a narrow minded hypocrite and bullied her into having an abortion.

That generalization is completely off base and unfair.


Agreed. Besides, there are many fundamentalist Christians who are anti-abortion because of their religious beliefs, and you don't need to be religious to be closed-minded... or dislike the fact that your daughter got pregnant from some random guy.


On February 25 2014 21:46 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 21:33 Mikau wrote:
I don't get it. If you genuinely like her and have good sexual chemistry, what's wrong with the relationship option?


I'm not in love with her.


Relationships can lead to the recognition of love. You don't need to know ahead of time (and I'd go so far as to say you *can't* know yet) if you love/ are in love with someone until you actually try a relationship with them. Love is allowed to emerge and grow.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7031 Posts
February 25 2014 13:12 GMT
#8388
On February 25 2014 21:46 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 21:40 dravernor wrote:
What happened to the pregnant girl?


Her father, like all hardcore Christians, is a narrow minded hypocrite and bullied her into having an abortion.

Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 21:33 Mikau wrote:
I don't get it. If you genuinely like her and have good sexual chemistry, what's wrong with the relationship option?


I'm not in love with her.

Didn't you say the other day that you wanted her to have an abortion and you were worried that her narrow minded hardcore Christian father would bully her into not having an abortion?
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-25 13:18:51
February 25 2014 13:18 GMT
#8389
There's a difference between wanting her to have an abortion and basically physically forcing her to.

Obviously I'm happy that she did it, but the way the decision was made for her was nothing short of horrific. I'd rather have her keeping it than her having to go through that.
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7031 Posts
February 25 2014 13:20 GMT
#8390
On February 25 2014 22:18 SixStrings wrote:
There's a difference between wanting her to have an abortion and basically physically forcing her to.

Obviously I'm happy that she did it, but the way the decision was made for her was nothing short of horrific. I'd rather have her keeping it than her having to go through that.

Did he consult you at all, you being the father?
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-25 13:29:01
February 25 2014 13:23 GMT
#8391
On February 25 2014 22:10 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:


Agreed. Besides, there are many fundamentalist Christians who are anti-abortion because of their religious beliefs, and you don't need to be religious to be closed-minded... or dislike the fact that your daughter got pregnant from some random guy.



That's where the hypocrisy comes in then.

His deluded religion tells him two things: abortion is fundamentally wrong, so is having a child out of wedlock (except you make up an insane tale about being fucked by a god, apparently), so as a good Christian he can throw out his believe when it's convenient.

On February 25 2014 22:10 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:


Relationships can lead to the recognition of love. You don't need to know ahead of time (and I'd go so far as to say you *can't* know yet) if you love/ are in love with someone until you actually try a relationship with them. Love is allowed to emerge and grow.


I'm sorry, but it seems I have a more teenage / cheap romance novel view on the subject.
For me there should be something more to it than having a companion you like to bang.

SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
February 25 2014 13:25 GMT
#8392
On February 25 2014 22:20 Grumbels wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 22:18 SixStrings wrote:
There's a difference between wanting her to have an abortion and basically physically forcing her to.

Obviously I'm happy that she did it, but the way the decision was made for her was nothing short of horrific. I'd rather have her keeping it than her having to go through that.

Did he consult you at all, you being the father?


No, he beat the shit out of her and basically dragged her to the gyno...
MightyBill
Profile Joined October 2013
93 Posts
February 25 2014 13:29 GMT
#8393
On February 25 2014 22:23 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 22:10 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:


Agreed. Besides, there are many fundamentalist Christians who are anti-abortion because of their religious beliefs, and you don't need to be religious to be closed-minded... or dislike the fact that your daughter got pregnant from some random guy.



That's where the hypocrisy comes in then.

His deluded religion tells him two things: abortion is fundamentally wrong, so is having a child out of wedlock (except you make up an insane tale about being fucked by a god, apparently), so as a good Christian he can throw out his believe when it's convenient.


The "god" being you? :D I'd leave that mess behind as soon as possible.

I've been in a relationship with a girl who had a very religious family. When I slept over at her place I had to sleep in their guestroom, which was okay in itself. But when I wanted to go to the toilet once at like 3 in the morning, I found out that the door of my door was locked from the outside. The guestroom was next to her parents room and they had a balcony, so I managed to climb out of the window to that balcony and knock on their window. The father was really pissed off at what I did (I mean I scared the living shit out of him at 3 in the morning), but I just looked at him with a grin and said "Sir, I need go to the bathroom". The whole situation still invokes chuckles everytime I think of it.
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
February 25 2014 13:30 GMT
#8394
Man you're classy. I would have pissed right off of their balcony or out of the window.
Acrofales
Profile Joined August 2010
Spain18232 Posts
February 25 2014 13:33 GMT
#8395
On February 25 2014 22:25 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 22:20 Grumbels wrote:
On February 25 2014 22:18 SixStrings wrote:
There's a difference between wanting her to have an abortion and basically physically forcing her to.

Obviously I'm happy that she did it, but the way the decision was made for her was nothing short of horrific. I'd rather have her keeping it than her having to go through that.

Did he consult you at all, you being the father?


No, he beat the shit out of her and basically dragged her to the gyno...

Are you making all of this up? No sane doctor would go along with performing that abortion. In fact, you can't just decide to have an abortion then and there: there is almost always a mandatory waiting period with counselling and stuff (checked; in Germany it's 3 days).
MightyBill
Profile Joined October 2013
93 Posts
February 25 2014 13:37 GMT
#8396
On February 25 2014 22:23 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 22:10 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:


Agreed. Besides, there are many fundamentalist Christians who are anti-abortion because of their religious beliefs, and you don't need to be religious to be closed-minded... or dislike the fact that your daughter got pregnant from some random guy.



That's where the hypocrisy comes in then.

His deluded religion tells him two things: abortion is fundamentally wrong, so is having a child out of wedlock (except you make up an insane tale about being fucked by a god, apparently), so as a good Christian he can throw out his believe when it's convenient.

Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 22:10 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:


Relationships can lead to the recognition of love. You don't need to know ahead of time (and I'd go so far as to say you *can't* know yet) if you love/ are in love with someone until you actually try a relationship with them. Love is allowed to emerge and grow.


I'm sorry, but it seems I have a more teenage / cheap romance novel view on the subject.
For me there should be something more to it than having a companion you like to bang.



Yeah I agree with your view. Sometimes you hit jackpot, but very often the girls I date are just companions that I like to bang. And although it looks good on the outside, as a real romantic I always long for a little bit more. The girlfriend before my current one asked me after I broke up with her "Do you think I'm pretty" which I thought she was, followed by a "am I perfect for you or just good enough?". That question actually hit the sad truth so hard, that it actually made me cry.

She was just good enough, if you'd add up the components she would score very high, but there was just something missing. Eventhough I still value her a lot though, we couldn't manage to fly to the stars together, only dream of them while trying to make a shitty spaceship; the chemistry for rocket fuel was missing.
MightyBill
Profile Joined October 2013
93 Posts
February 25 2014 13:38 GMT
#8397
On February 25 2014 22:30 SixStrings wrote:
Man you're classy. I would have pissed right off of their balcony or out of the window.


I wanted to piss out of the window but then I saw the balcony and just wanted to wake the guy up. Fuck him I thought
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-25 13:42:24
February 25 2014 13:39 GMT
#8398
On February 25 2014 22:33 Acrofales wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 22:25 SixStrings wrote:
On February 25 2014 22:20 Grumbels wrote:
On February 25 2014 22:18 SixStrings wrote:
There's a difference between wanting her to have an abortion and basically physically forcing her to.

Obviously I'm happy that she did it, but the way the decision was made for her was nothing short of horrific. I'd rather have her keeping it than her having to go through that.

Did he consult you at all, you being the father?


No, he beat the shit out of her and basically dragged her to the gyno...

Are you making all of this up? No sane doctor would go along with performing that abortion. In fact, you can't just decide to have an abortion then and there: there is almost always a mandatory waiting period with counselling and stuff (checked; in Germany it's 3 days).


Yes, you have to wait for three days between the counseling and the actual operation, but he (probably unaware of that) did drag her to the gyno the moment he found out. I didn't say she had the operation right then and there.

The doctor also noticed her bruising and a minor injury from the beating, btw. I'm not too sure what happened on that account, but I think she refused to press charges or something demented like that.

On February 25 2014 22:37 MightyBill wrote:

Eventhough I still value her a lot though, we couldn't manage to fly to the stars together, only dream of them while trying to make a shitty spaceship; the chemistry for rocket fuel was missing.


You meant to say 'he', right? After that analogy, no way you're straight.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45342 Posts
February 25 2014 13:43 GMT
#8399
On February 25 2014 22:23 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 22:10 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:


Agreed. Besides, there are many fundamentalist Christians who are anti-abortion because of their religious beliefs, and you don't need to be religious to be closed-minded... or dislike the fact that your daughter got pregnant from some random guy.



That's where the hypocrisy comes in then.

His deluded religion tells him two things: abortion is fundamentally wrong, so is having a child out of wedlock (except you make up an insane tale about being fucked by a god, apparently), so as a good Christian he can throw out his believe when it's convenient.


As much as I'm not a fan of religious fundamentalism, I think it's pretty clear that one can prioritize one belief over another when two beliefs that *could* be independent of each other-- not choosing abortion under ideal (married) circumstances vs. also not having premarital (before marriage) sex- end up both being an issue. The response isn't going to be to let both "sins" occur when at least one can be stopped. Obviously, if he's hitting her and forcing his beliefs on her, that's atrocious. But I think it's more an issue with the person, rather than the belief (as this isn't the average response of parents).

Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 22:10 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:


Relationships can lead to the recognition of love. You don't need to know ahead of time (and I'd go so far as to say you *can't* know yet) if you love/ are in love with someone until you actually try a relationship with them. Love is allowed to emerge and grow.


I'm sorry, but it seems I have a more teenage / cheap romance novel view on the subject.
For me there should be something more to it than having a companion you like to bang.


Just banging someone isn't love, and I have as much of a romantic view of love as anyone. What I said is that you can't just look at a person that you don't really know and assess whether or not you truly love them. It takes work and commitment, which is found through attempting to have a relationship with them. You seem to be glazing over a broad spectrum of affection and saying that either you know you love them from the get-go or it's not worth the time and effort to have a relationship, and I disagree. If you like her, get to know her better. It can become love.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
MightyBill
Profile Joined October 2013
93 Posts
February 25 2014 13:44 GMT
#8400
On February 25 2014 22:39 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 22:33 Acrofales wrote:
On February 25 2014 22:25 SixStrings wrote:
On February 25 2014 22:20 Grumbels wrote:
On February 25 2014 22:18 SixStrings wrote:
There's a difference between wanting her to have an abortion and basically physically forcing her to.

Obviously I'm happy that she did it, but the way the decision was made for her was nothing short of horrific. I'd rather have her keeping it than her having to go through that.

Did he consult you at all, you being the father?


No, he beat the shit out of her and basically dragged her to the gyno...

Are you making all of this up? No sane doctor would go along with performing that abortion. In fact, you can't just decide to have an abortion then and there: there is almost always a mandatory waiting period with counselling and stuff (checked; in Germany it's 3 days).


Yes, you have to wait for three days between the counseling and the actual operation, but he (probably unaware of that) did drag her to the gyno the moment he found out. I didn't say she had the operation right then and there.

The doctor also noticed her bruising and a minor injury from the beating, btw. I'm not too sure what happened on that account, but I think she refused to press charges or something demented like that.

Show nested quote +
On February 25 2014 22:37 MightyBill wrote:

Eventhough I still value her a lot though, we couldn't manage to fly to the stars together, only dream of them while trying to make a shitty spaceship; the chemistry for rocket fuel was missing.


You meant to say 'he', right? After that analogy, no way you're straight.


Busted! I just couldnt fall in love with a guy!
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