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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
I'm 25, and have had a gf since I was 16, in 3 parts, with minor interludes.
Part 1: crazy German girl. 6 months. Long distance relationship at 16. Cool move bro. Stupid. Was fun while it lasted, but honestly anyone who is getting into a relationship where you need to spend 2 1/2 hours on a plane to see each other has to have something wrong with them. Myself included.
Part 2: Crazy Asian girl (she deserves the capitalisation) 1 year. Again, fun times, lots of good things, but was never going to last for a hundred reasons. Myself included. The relationship completely imploded over the course of like.. 3 weeks.
Part 3: The current missus. 6 years yesterday. Met her in the first two weeks of Uni, and asked her out in the third.
I am not an attractive man. I have a bizzare (bordering on the mentally unstable) sense of humour, and more issues than the back catalogue of the national geographic. I am 5 foot 10/11 and weigh the best part of 14 stone 9 (or 93 kgs for those of who don't live in the mid 1600s) For every single one of these girls my friends have gone.. How have you managed to be with her? Much more attractive than me.
![[image loading]](http://i44.tinypic.com/34rtwfs.jpg)
This is how I looked when I asked her out. oh god the pain.
How you look matters shit. I wouldn't have said yes.
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EDIT: I'm too dumb to word what i just typed correctly so people don't troll the shit out of me and annoy me.
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How should I say?
I am as lucky as Napoleon was at Waterloo...
The girl i love is now one of my best friends GF 
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I seem to only attract people with a 7+ age difference, so 16 year olds and 30 year olds are all over me (gross exaguration) so apparently I'm attractive to some people yet none of those fit my own age group at the moment.
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On October 27 2011 09:59 Pretty Aluminum wrote:My girl story. + Show Spoiler +I am a really introverted guy. I’m 17 and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never kissed a girl. I’ve never even hugged a girl outside of my mother. I don’t really talk to girls at all and when I do it comes off as extremely awkward and I typically just make a fool of myself. I don’t go to any parties because I think I will have to talk to girls there and I try to avoid all social events. Whenever I’m with my group of friends and a girl walks up to it and starts talking I normally look at my shoes and just stand there not saying anything until she is gone.
The only time I’ve been around a girl for extended period of time outside of school was when I went to my friends Halloween party last year. Typically when my friend has parties he doesn’t really invite girls and it’s more of a guy’s only thing. This year however he invited a bunch of girls and it was extremely awkward for me the entire night. I remember just sitting in his basement with half of my friends drunk (I don’t drink so I can’t use that to help take away my nerves) not being able to talk about anything. My hands were sweaty as can be. I just sat there dead silent.
Occasionally a group of my friends would come over to me and talk to me for a couple of minutes before getting up to talk or to dance or to drink, but usually I was just alone on the couch not drinking sitting there with a stupid smile on my face like I had just had a really funny conversation with somebody. So finally I get up and walk over to the table where all the food is at. He’s got like some chips laid out and some other snacks. So I start eating a couple and that is when it happens. Four of the girls just run up to me and start dancing around me. I just stood there. There was literally nothing I could do there to stop myself from looking like a loser.
Eventually after like a minute of me not moving and not saying anything they all walked away and everyone at the party was just laughing at me. It was humiliating. I just sat back down on the couch waited like ten minutes and then pretending I got a call and had to take off. That way nobody would think I left just because of the girls dancing around me. After that I stopped going to parties. I stopped talking to girls. And I started despising everyone person I know in real life.
Not to be a dick but how you responded to this situation and your attitude is setting yourself up to be a miserable failure and depressed the rest of your life.
First off I'm curious to the reason you don't drink. Are you scared to? Seriously there's no harm in drinking a few beers (as long as you're not being completely retarded) in fact many doctors say some alcohol is actually good for your health. A couple beers or a shot or two, liquid courage they call it and for a good reason, will loosen you up and make you more sociable and more relaxed. It's a great help if you're shy and nervous
Secondly, I've been in situations like yours in my younger years in highschool. Here's a story of what happened once my freshmen year i highschool, not the exact same situation but its to make a point. I use to put mad salt on my food at lunch (I am a salt fiend I love it). i was rather shy and quiet back then and kind of a nerd but I hung out with the popular crew of kids anyways. At first, I wasn't really accepted into it but I didn't back down and still hung out when I could. One day, I'm at the lunch table and one of the kids in this crew walks up with the entire thing of salt packets and dumps them on the table and is like "Hey mike, I brought you some extra salt". Obviously the kid was trying to make me look like an idiot, but you know what I did? I took one of the salt packs, opened it, put some on my fries and was like "Thanks bro, I didn't grab enough today". Everyone at the table laughed and I laughed with them. I have a big ass smile on my face thinking back on it right now. To put my point into perspective, when something happens that is embarrasing or awkward to you, you just have to roll with it, don't back down. You want respect in this world? Respect is earned. Step up and meet challenging situations. I've been in a similiar situation at a party too with the girls coming up an dancing like that. You know what I did? I started dancing like a fool with them. And the people at the party loved it and we laughed and we had a good time. Some of those kids are my closest fucking friends now, that would have my back in any situation and I would fucking kill for them. And the reason that that happened is because, instead of letting myself be beat into submission I rolled with the punches, they saw what I did and they respected me for it. And they hold the uttermost respect for me even to this day. They know who I am and how I roll and they respect that.
Thirdly - Anytime something happens thats embarrasing or people gossip about, it usually ends within 3 - 4 days because - news flash- someone else does something just as or more retarded. That's what being young is all about. Young and dumb. I let a girl dance on my car senior year in highschool, and some other morons got up there too and fucked up the roof. And people talked about it for 3 days. And three days later everyone had forgotten and we were making fun of some other kid falling into a trashcan.
Fourth - To comment on your mentality. Fear is the mind killer. If you live your life in fear of being embarrased or bad situations, you're going to live a miserable life. Stop being afraid, realize that life is what you make of it. You're going to encounter dicks all throughout your life. But you can't let what someone else thinks effect how you choose to live.
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On November 06 2011 01:43 chriZqq wrote:How should I say? I am as lucky as Napoleon was at Waterloo... The girl i love is now one of my best friends GF
your mate is a dog, best way to overcome 'love' is to masterbate over someone else excessively, go out to a club and ride on other girls, 9 times out of 10 you will pick up a whore willing to give you a blow job in the disabled toilets of mcdonalds.
enjoy your freedom 
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I am 28, 6 years since last relationship, and Im simply not motivated enough to seek out a partner. That is my dating luck.
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On November 06 2011 07:39 gayfius173 wrote:Show nested quote +On October 27 2011 09:59 Pretty Aluminum wrote:My girl story. + Show Spoiler +I am a really introverted guy. I’m 17 and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never kissed a girl. I’ve never even hugged a girl outside of my mother. I don’t really talk to girls at all and when I do it comes off as extremely awkward and I typically just make a fool of myself. I don’t go to any parties because I think I will have to talk to girls there and I try to avoid all social events. Whenever I’m with my group of friends and a girl walks up to it and starts talking I normally look at my shoes and just stand there not saying anything until she is gone.
The only time I’ve been around a girl for extended period of time outside of school was when I went to my friends Halloween party last year. Typically when my friend has parties he doesn’t really invite girls and it’s more of a guy’s only thing. This year however he invited a bunch of girls and it was extremely awkward for me the entire night. I remember just sitting in his basement with half of my friends drunk (I don’t drink so I can’t use that to help take away my nerves) not being able to talk about anything. My hands were sweaty as can be. I just sat there dead silent.
Occasionally a group of my friends would come over to me and talk to me for a couple of minutes before getting up to talk or to dance or to drink, but usually I was just alone on the couch not drinking sitting there with a stupid smile on my face like I had just had a really funny conversation with somebody. So finally I get up and walk over to the table where all the food is at. He’s got like some chips laid out and some other snacks. So I start eating a couple and that is when it happens. Four of the girls just run up to me and start dancing around me. I just stood there. There was literally nothing I could do there to stop myself from looking like a loser.
Eventually after like a minute of me not moving and not saying anything they all walked away and everyone at the party was just laughing at me. It was humiliating. I just sat back down on the couch waited like ten minutes and then pretending I got a call and had to take off. That way nobody would think I left just because of the girls dancing around me. After that I stopped going to parties. I stopped talking to girls. And I started despising everyone person I know in real life.
Not to be a dick but how you responded to this situation and your attitude is setting yourself up to be a miserable failure and depressed the rest of your life. First off I'm curious to the reason you don't drink. Are you scared to? Seriously there's no harm in drinking a few beers (as long as you're not being completely retarded) in fact many doctors say some alcohol is actually good for your health. A couple beers or a shot or two, liquid courage they call it and for a good reason, will loosen you up and make you more sociable and more relaxed. It's a great help if you're shy and nervous Secondly, I've been in situations like yours in my younger years in highschool. Here's a story of what happened once my freshmen year i highschool, not the exact same situation but its to make a point. I use to put mad salt on my food at lunch (I am a salt fiend I love it). i was rather shy and quiet back then and kind of a nerd but I hung out with the popular crew of kids anyways. At first, I wasn't really accepted into it but I didn't back down and still hung out when I could. One day, I'm at the lunch table and one of the kids in this crew walks up with the entire thing of salt packets and dumps them on the table and is like "Hey mike, I brought you some extra salt". Obviously the kid was trying to make me look like an idiot, but you know what I did? I took one of the salt packs, opened it, put some on my fries and was like "Thanks bro, I didn't grab enough today". Everyone at the table laughed and I laughed with them. I have a big ass smile on my face thinking back on it right now. To put my point into perspective, when something happens that is embarrasing or awkward to you, you just have to roll with it, don't back down. You want respect in this world? Respect is earned. Step up and meet challenging situations. I've been in a similiar situation at a party too with the girls coming up an dancing like that. You know what I did? I started dancing like a fool with them. And the people at the party loved it and we laughed and we had a good time. Some of those kids are my closest fucking friends now, that would have my back in any situation and I would fucking kill for them. And the reason that that happened is because, instead of letting myself be beat into submission I rolled with the punches, they saw what I did and they respected me for it. And they hold the uttermost respect for me even to this day. They know who I am and how I roll and they respect that. Thirdly - Anytime something happens thats embarrasing or people gossip about, it usually ends within 3 - 4 days because - news flash- someone else does something just as or more retarded. That's what being young is all about. Young and dumb. I let a girl dance on my car senior year in highschool, and some other morons got up there too and fucked up the roof. And people talked about it for 3 days. And three days later everyone had forgotten and we were making fun of some other kid falling into a trashcan. Fourth - To comment on your mentality. Fear is the mind killer. If you live your life in fear of being embarrased or bad situations, you're going to live a miserable life. Stop being afraid, realize that life is what you make of it. You're going to encounter dicks all throughout your life. But you can't let what someone else thinks effect how you choose to live.
this should get spotlighted
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Never had a girlfriend until recently, now we both cant get enough of each other  and i m 16 (weekend is most painful, no bus traffic that day QQ)
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no luck at all...guess i keep trying
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So I finally managed to gather up enough courage to ask out this cute girl I've been into for weeks to coffee. Everything was going pretty well, no catastrophes, just your average coffee date. I thought she was my year (Junior, since we have the same class) but turns out she's a senior and plans on going to grad school in korea. That gives me exactly.. not enough time. Sighhhhh
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On November 06 2011 23:22 OutlaW- wrote:Show nested quote +On November 06 2011 07:39 gayfius173 wrote:On October 27 2011 09:59 Pretty Aluminum wrote:My girl story. + Show Spoiler +I am a really introverted guy. I’m 17 and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never kissed a girl. I’ve never even hugged a girl outside of my mother. I don’t really talk to girls at all and when I do it comes off as extremely awkward and I typically just make a fool of myself. I don’t go to any parties because I think I will have to talk to girls there and I try to avoid all social events. Whenever I’m with my group of friends and a girl walks up to it and starts talking I normally look at my shoes and just stand there not saying anything until she is gone.
The only time I’ve been around a girl for extended period of time outside of school was when I went to my friends Halloween party last year. Typically when my friend has parties he doesn’t really invite girls and it’s more of a guy’s only thing. This year however he invited a bunch of girls and it was extremely awkward for me the entire night. I remember just sitting in his basement with half of my friends drunk (I don’t drink so I can’t use that to help take away my nerves) not being able to talk about anything. My hands were sweaty as can be. I just sat there dead silent.
Occasionally a group of my friends would come over to me and talk to me for a couple of minutes before getting up to talk or to dance or to drink, but usually I was just alone on the couch not drinking sitting there with a stupid smile on my face like I had just had a really funny conversation with somebody. So finally I get up and walk over to the table where all the food is at. He’s got like some chips laid out and some other snacks. So I start eating a couple and that is when it happens. Four of the girls just run up to me and start dancing around me. I just stood there. There was literally nothing I could do there to stop myself from looking like a loser.
Eventually after like a minute of me not moving and not saying anything they all walked away and everyone at the party was just laughing at me. It was humiliating. I just sat back down on the couch waited like ten minutes and then pretending I got a call and had to take off. That way nobody would think I left just because of the girls dancing around me. After that I stopped going to parties. I stopped talking to girls. And I started despising everyone person I know in real life.
Not to be a dick but how you responded to this situation and your attitude is setting yourself up to be a miserable failure and depressed the rest of your life. First off I'm curious to the reason you don't drink. Are you scared to? Seriously there's no harm in drinking a few beers (as long as you're not being completely retarded) in fact many doctors say some alcohol is actually good for your health. A couple beers or a shot or two, liquid courage they call it and for a good reason, will loosen you up and make you more sociable and more relaxed. It's a great help if you're shy and nervous Secondly, I've been in situations like yours in my younger years in highschool. Here's a story of what happened once my freshmen year i highschool, not the exact same situation but its to make a point. I use to put mad salt on my food at lunch (I am a salt fiend I love it). i was rather shy and quiet back then and kind of a nerd but I hung out with the popular crew of kids anyways. At first, I wasn't really accepted into it but I didn't back down and still hung out when I could. One day, I'm at the lunch table and one of the kids in this crew walks up with the entire thing of salt packets and dumps them on the table and is like "Hey mike, I brought you some extra salt". Obviously the kid was trying to make me look like an idiot, but you know what I did? I took one of the salt packs, opened it, put some on my fries and was like "Thanks bro, I didn't grab enough today". Everyone at the table laughed and I laughed with them. I have a big ass smile on my face thinking back on it right now. To put my point into perspective, when something happens that is embarrasing or awkward to you, you just have to roll with it, don't back down. You want respect in this world? Respect is earned. Step up and meet challenging situations. I've been in a similiar situation at a party too with the girls coming up an dancing like that. You know what I did? I started dancing like a fool with them. And the people at the party loved it and we laughed and we had a good time. Some of those kids are my closest fucking friends now, that would have my back in any situation and I would fucking kill for them. And the reason that that happened is because, instead of letting myself be beat into submission I rolled with the punches, they saw what I did and they respected me for it. And they hold the uttermost respect for me even to this day. They know who I am and how I roll and they respect that. Thirdly - Anytime something happens thats embarrasing or people gossip about, it usually ends within 3 - 4 days because - news flash- someone else does something just as or more retarded. That's what being young is all about. Young and dumb. I let a girl dance on my car senior year in highschool, and some other morons got up there too and fucked up the roof. And people talked about it for 3 days. And three days later everyone had forgotten and we were making fun of some other kid falling into a trashcan. Fourth - To comment on your mentality. Fear is the mind killer. If you live your life in fear of being embarrased or bad situations, you're going to live a miserable life. Stop being afraid, realize that life is what you make of it. You're going to encounter dicks all throughout your life. But you can't let what someone else thinks effect how you choose to live. this should get spotlighted
that's what she said.
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On November 19 2011 05:13 Xenocide_Knight wrote:
So I finally managed to gather up enough courage to ask out this cute girl I've been into for weeks to coffee. Everything was going pretty well, no catastrophes, just your average coffee date. I thought she was my year (Junior, since we have the same class) but turns out she's a senior and plans on going to grad school in korea. That gives me exactly.. not enough time. Sighhhhh
Then again, Korea means proleague!!!!! GO GO GO!!!!
On a somewhat more serious note: I've had an italian girlfriend and an american girlfriend - in neither cases it was actually the distance that killed the relationship, so it is possible to have a long-distance relationship.
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On November 19 2011 05:22 Ghostcom wrote:Show nested quote +On November 19 2011 05:13 Xenocide_Knight wrote:
So I finally managed to gather up enough courage to ask out this cute girl I've been into for weeks to coffee. Everything was going pretty well, no catastrophes, just your average coffee date. I thought she was my year (Junior, since we have the same class) but turns out she's a senior and plans on going to grad school in korea. That gives me exactly.. not enough time. Sighhhhh Then again, Korea means proleague!!!!! GO GO GO!!!! On a somewhat more serious note: I've had an italian girlfriend and an american girlfriend - in neither cases it was actually the distance that killed the relationship, so it is possible to have a long-distance relationship.
Yea.. I do like proleague.. Dat Kespa 8 man!
I mean, I've had a long distance relationship before (from Midwest to East Coast US) and I'm ok with that but I only have 5 months before she leaves to korea. T.T And she plans on living there forever so it's not even like a "we'll be back together after gradschool" kinda deal. I don't know what to do. Figures, after two years of no girlfriend, I finally find a girl I really like and now this. Awful luck. We go to the same school, why couldn't I have just gotten to know her last year!?!? -.-;;
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On November 19 2011 05:29 Xenocide_Knight wrote:Show nested quote +On November 19 2011 05:22 Ghostcom wrote:On November 19 2011 05:13 Xenocide_Knight wrote:
So I finally managed to gather up enough courage to ask out this cute girl I've been into for weeks to coffee. Everything was going pretty well, no catastrophes, just your average coffee date. I thought she was my year (Junior, since we have the same class) but turns out she's a senior and plans on going to grad school in korea. That gives me exactly.. not enough time. Sighhhhh Then again, Korea means proleague!!!!! GO GO GO!!!! On a somewhat more serious note: I've had an italian girlfriend and an american girlfriend - in neither cases it was actually the distance that killed the relationship, so it is possible to have a long-distance relationship. Yea.. I do like proleague.. Dat Kespa 8 man! I mean, I've had a long distance relationship before (from Midwest to East Coast US) and I'm ok with that but I only have 5 months before she leaves to korea. T.T And she plans on living there forever so it's not even like a "we'll be back together after gradschool" kinda deal. I don't know what to do. Figures, after two years of no girlfriend, I finally find a girl I really like and now this. Awful luck. We go to the same school, why couldn't I have just gotten to know her last year!?!? -.-;;
A lot can happen in 5 months, so you either take the chance or just move on right now... It is really that simple although it might not feel that way...
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On November 19 2011 05:39 Ghostcom wrote:Show nested quote +On November 19 2011 05:29 Xenocide_Knight wrote:On November 19 2011 05:22 Ghostcom wrote:On November 19 2011 05:13 Xenocide_Knight wrote:
So I finally managed to gather up enough courage to ask out this cute girl I've been into for weeks to coffee. Everything was going pretty well, no catastrophes, just your average coffee date. I thought she was my year (Junior, since we have the same class) but turns out she's a senior and plans on going to grad school in korea. That gives me exactly.. not enough time. Sighhhhh Then again, Korea means proleague!!!!! GO GO GO!!!! On a somewhat more serious note: I've had an italian girlfriend and an american girlfriend - in neither cases it was actually the distance that killed the relationship, so it is possible to have a long-distance relationship. Yea.. I do like proleague.. Dat Kespa 8 man! I mean, I've had a long distance relationship before (from Midwest to East Coast US) and I'm ok with that but I only have 5 months before she leaves to korea. T.T And she plans on living there forever so it's not even like a "we'll be back together after gradschool" kinda deal. I don't know what to do. Figures, after two years of no girlfriend, I finally find a girl I really like and now this. Awful luck. We go to the same school, why couldn't I have just gotten to know her last year!?!? -.-;; A lot can happen in 5 months, so you either take the chance or just move on right now... It is really that simple although it might not feel that way...
Yea true story. Thanks ^^
I was worried because I got the feeling she brought up her leaving to try and tell me she's not looking for a relationship but...
I'm willing to try and I don't really have any control over whether or not she is, so might as well keep pursuing her until she flat out rejects me.
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On November 19 2011 05:18 wishbones wrote:Show nested quote +On November 06 2011 23:22 OutlaW- wrote:On November 06 2011 07:39 gayfius173 wrote:On October 27 2011 09:59 Pretty Aluminum wrote:My girl story. + Show Spoiler +I am a really introverted guy. I’m 17 and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never kissed a girl. I’ve never even hugged a girl outside of my mother. I don’t really talk to girls at all and when I do it comes off as extremely awkward and I typically just make a fool of myself. I don’t go to any parties because I think I will have to talk to girls there and I try to avoid all social events. Whenever I’m with my group of friends and a girl walks up to it and starts talking I normally look at my shoes and just stand there not saying anything until she is gone.
The only time I’ve been around a girl for extended period of time outside of school was when I went to my friends Halloween party last year. Typically when my friend has parties he doesn’t really invite girls and it’s more of a guy’s only thing. This year however he invited a bunch of girls and it was extremely awkward for me the entire night. I remember just sitting in his basement with half of my friends drunk (I don’t drink so I can’t use that to help take away my nerves) not being able to talk about anything. My hands were sweaty as can be. I just sat there dead silent.
Occasionally a group of my friends would come over to me and talk to me for a couple of minutes before getting up to talk or to dance or to drink, but usually I was just alone on the couch not drinking sitting there with a stupid smile on my face like I had just had a really funny conversation with somebody. So finally I get up and walk over to the table where all the food is at. He’s got like some chips laid out and some other snacks. So I start eating a couple and that is when it happens. Four of the girls just run up to me and start dancing around me. I just stood there. There was literally nothing I could do there to stop myself from looking like a loser.
Eventually after like a minute of me not moving and not saying anything they all walked away and everyone at the party was just laughing at me. It was humiliating. I just sat back down on the couch waited like ten minutes and then pretending I got a call and had to take off. That way nobody would think I left just because of the girls dancing around me. After that I stopped going to parties. I stopped talking to girls. And I started despising everyone person I know in real life.
Not to be a dick but how you responded to this situation and your attitude is setting yourself up to be a miserable failure and depressed the rest of your life. First off I'm curious to the reason you don't drink. Are you scared to? Seriously there's no harm in drinking a few beers (as long as you're not being completely retarded) in fact many doctors say some alcohol is actually good for your health. A couple beers or a shot or two, liquid courage they call it and for a good reason, will loosen you up and make you more sociable and more relaxed. It's a great help if you're shy and nervous Secondly, I've been in situations like yours in my younger years in highschool. Here's a story of what happened once my freshmen year i highschool, not the exact same situation but its to make a point. I use to put mad salt on my food at lunch (I am a salt fiend I love it). i was rather shy and quiet back then and kind of a nerd but I hung out with the popular crew of kids anyways. At first, I wasn't really accepted into it but I didn't back down and still hung out when I could. One day, I'm at the lunch table and one of the kids in this crew walks up with the entire thing of salt packets and dumps them on the table and is like "Hey mike, I brought you some extra salt". Obviously the kid was trying to make me look like an idiot, but you know what I did? I took one of the salt packs, opened it, put some on my fries and was like "Thanks bro, I didn't grab enough today". Everyone at the table laughed and I laughed with them. I have a big ass smile on my face thinking back on it right now. To put my point into perspective, when something happens that is embarrasing or awkward to you, you just have to roll with it, don't back down. You want respect in this world? Respect is earned. Step up and meet challenging situations. I've been in a similiar situation at a party too with the girls coming up an dancing like that. You know what I did? I started dancing like a fool with them. And the people at the party loved it and we laughed and we had a good time. Some of those kids are my closest fucking friends now, that would have my back in any situation and I would fucking kill for them. And the reason that that happened is because, instead of letting myself be beat into submission I rolled with the punches, they saw what I did and they respected me for it. And they hold the uttermost respect for me even to this day. They know who I am and how I roll and they respect that. Thirdly - Anytime something happens thats embarrasing or people gossip about, it usually ends within 3 - 4 days because - news flash- someone else does something just as or more retarded. That's what being young is all about. Young and dumb. I let a girl dance on my car senior year in highschool, and some other morons got up there too and fucked up the roof. And people talked about it for 3 days. And three days later everyone had forgotten and we were making fun of some other kid falling into a trashcan. Fourth - To comment on your mentality. Fear is the mind killer. If you live your life in fear of being embarrased or bad situations, you're going to live a miserable life. Stop being afraid, realize that life is what you make of it. You're going to encounter dicks all throughout your life. But you can't let what someone else thinks effect how you choose to live. this should get spotlighted that's what she said.
nub. 
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On November 19 2011 05:29 Xenocide_Knight wrote:Show nested quote +On November 19 2011 05:22 Ghostcom wrote:On November 19 2011 05:13 Xenocide_Knight wrote:
So I finally managed to gather up enough courage to ask out this cute girl I've been into for weeks to coffee. Everything was going pretty well, no catastrophes, just your average coffee date. I thought she was my year (Junior, since we have the same class) but turns out she's a senior and plans on going to grad school in korea. That gives me exactly.. not enough time. Sighhhhh Then again, Korea means proleague!!!!! GO GO GO!!!! On a somewhat more serious note: I've had an italian girlfriend and an american girlfriend - in neither cases it was actually the distance that killed the relationship, so it is possible to have a long-distance relationship. Yea.. I do like proleague.. Dat Kespa 8 man! I mean, I've had a long distance relationship before (from Midwest to East Coast US) and I'm ok with that but I only have 5 months before she leaves to korea. T.T And she plans on living there forever so it's not even like a "we'll be back together after gradschool" kinda deal. I don't know what to do. Figures, after two years of no girlfriend, I finally find a girl I really like and now this. Awful luck. We go to the same school, why couldn't I have just gotten to know her last year!?!? -.-;;
Stop thinking about it so much. I am dating my current girlfriend and chances are she is going to go to school in Europe in around 6 months, but you never know what is going to happen. The way I look at it is this. If I really enjoy the time I spend with her, am I ever going to look back and say "Wow, I really wish I didn't date that really cool girl for 8 months back when I was 21"
The answer is no, as long as I have a good time, the worst case scenario I view is that in 6 months she goes away to school and we stop dating after having an awesome run, and for a worst case scenario does that actually sound so bad? It doesn't to me.
And you never know what you might end up doing or wanting to do, and you never truly know where either of you will be when that 6 months comes around. I graduate this Spring and might join the military, or hopefully the US Marshals grad school is also something I want to do. She wants to get her masters in teaching and history, and wants to travel Europe, and see tons of things. My grad school and the US marshals would most likely keep me in the states, but the military would most likely send me anywhere. So even if there is a 1/50 chance we end up in the same spot there is no reason not to just enjoy the time. After all, we don't know what will happen until it happens, and until then we might as well enjoy ourselves.
So my advice is obviously go for it with her. When you are 35-40 how will you look back on it? Even in the worst case scenario I mentioned that is definitely something to be happy about.
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On November 01 2011 15:41 eVolvE342 wrote:Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote:
Im gonna say this once, cuz I genuinly feel bad for alot of you posting here, but dont want to argue endlessly with anyone about my opinion so here goes.
Dating is not a matter of luck or not. Getting girls YOU WANT is not a matter of chance. Having options to choose from (and not being desperate losers) is all in your control.
Im not calling everyone here a loser. Im saying that Ive read some pretty pathetic posts, and that it actually saddens me to see them, I genuinly feel bad for those posters who I wont single out by name : (
You want chicks? You want to not be forever alone? Its not a science, its very simple.
BE ATTRACTIVE. THAT IS IT. GIRLS ARE NOT ATRRACTED TO YOU DUDE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTIVE. AND UNLESS YOU LOOK LIKE THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTREDAME, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR YOU TO BE UNATTRACTIVE OTHER THEN YOUR OWN LAZINESS. GIRLS SEE HOW YOU APPEAR, THAT IS THEIR FIRST IMPRESSION. IF YOU ARE UNATTRACTIVE, YOU COULD BE THE SWEETEST LITTLE CUPCAKE IN THE WORLD AND IT WONT MATTER. YOUR CONFIDENCE WILL SUFFER, YOUR APPEARENCE IS ALREADY SUFFERING, AND THEY WILL CHOOSE NOT TO SUFFER A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.
Steps to take:
1) Go the gym 4-6 times in a week. Learn how to excercise, learn how to lift weights. Do that. Get off your lazy butt and do it. Get in pristine shape, the best possible shape you could push yourself to.
2) Buy new clothes. Dont wear your Team Liquid limited edition headband and underwear unless youve got muscle underneath it. Wear clothes that are cool looking and fashionable.
3) Come back here and message me. I challenge ANYONE here to do what I just suggested, (getting in good shape and taking care of your looks) and show me that theyre still failing in the dating department. I guarantee you, right here right now, you will see what you have been missing all along.
Why do douchebag guys get the girls all the time? 9 times out of 10, its cuz they look good. Period.
All that confidence and swag comes with being confident in your appearence. You can be an intellectually competent dude and fellow Starcraft player, but if you look like trash the girls will keep treating you as such.
Im not trolling, and I hope you dudes seriously take what I said into consideration. I myself am personally striving to be the most attractive I can be (even though Ive been in a relationship for 8 years or so), and the increasing attention I get outside of my relationship is definetly becoming a confidence booster.
I cant believe I went for so long thinking of a billion reasons why I wasnt paid attention too. And it was as simple as that, if your ugly and unattractive why should you expect to have girls grovel for you?
Look good, and you will feel good, the ladies who start to ask YOU for time should be enough evidence of that. I would not consider myself a shallow guy at all and as much as it pains me to say this, this post has as lot of truth to it. I don't think it explains it all, but it is definitely a great place to start. Girls really do pay attention to how you treat your body. I would like to expand upon this post a bit with some other details that MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD and that are things that won't take 6 days a week in the gym to accomplish. 1. SHOWER - this might sound really self explanatory but you have no idea how much BO deters women, and how often I see guys trying to pick up girls when they are smelling bad. Wow it is unreal, be honest with yourself and if you have even the slightest BO make sure you are taking regular showers and using a scented deodorant. Seriously, if you smell bad say good by to your girl prospects. And if you have a bo problem just keep a small stick of deodorant or cologne (don't use too much! and dont use AXE unless your 13 years old please) in your bag/car/pocket. 2. Physical Hygiene. this is another one that seems pretty easy but so many people don't follow it (myself included at times). You don't have to get a fresh hair cut every week but groom yourself up a bit. If you have long nails/dirt underneath them get red of them. Make sure your hair isn't greasy. Wear decent clothes... you don't always have to be dressed up but don't present yourself in an unappealing manner. I know you may love your old baneling shirt that you game in all the time but don't wear that out when you are looking to talk to girls. I think the above post does a good job talking about getting in shape but I have to say I would start with a lot of running! Running with tone you up and help remove any fat you have. A tone body is a winning body as far as women are concerned. Lets talk a little bit about conversational topics. 1. I know that we all love our nerdy topics, including starcraft. This does not mean that you should bring these topics up in small talk with girls. Girls really don't mind nerdiness, they really dont (mostly)! BUT most girls don't want to be bombarded with nerdiness as a conversation starter. Girls will find your nerdiness cute later... when you introduce them to it ... later... but if you open up a conversation talking about starcraft or chemistry or whatever else girls are going to take it as too much. It is just a part of our culture. This is not to say that you should hide your personality though. Just sensor yourself a little bit at first. While different people have different ideas of what works best when talking to girls my style is to be observant, patient, and humorous. Some people swear by aggressive approaches in conversation. For me, this just seems really ineffective as you may end up pissing off/ creeping girls out. (also seems kind of of d-bagish) I like to take a friendly approach to the situation. Talk a bit, learn some information about her, remember it, and bring it back up later in the form of a joke or slight tease. You would be very surprised by how much girls notice when you remember things that they said or did. Girls really like directed attention. Yeah sure you could walk up to 100 girls and say the same thing to all of them and maybe get a couple responses but thats very generic with a low success rate. Plus how would you ever know that you are talking to a girl that you would actually have an interest in 6 months or 2 years down the road? I feel like a personal approach is much better. Yeah, it requires a bit more work but if you actually want to talk to a girl it should be easy to do. Bah this has just turned into ramblings by this point.
While, I don't fully agree with the first quote, I do agree with the second and wanted to expand on why these things are important.
On the hygiene front, most girls have higher standards than guys, so if you are a guy with below average hygiene where is that going to get you? The average girl thinks the average guy is dirty; I'm not a slob and yet my GF constantly points out where I'm being dirty, ect. But since she thinks all guys are dirty it's not a real problem between us, more of an fyi. If I *were* dirtier than the average guy, then she would run so fast in the other direction I'd think she was the Flash. There was a guy I knew who was proud of being messy; he even told us that a girl broke up with him saying - 'I can't marry someone this messy'. Don't be that guy, it's such a small lifestyle adjustment to get to an average level of clean.
I also agree with focusing more on toned than ripped. There was a study where girls and guys were asked to rate how attractive male models were based on their muscles. Guess what? Girls started rating males attractive at something like 30% less muscle mass than guys did. Most girls don't want a muscle bound meat-head. It looks unnatural to them, they want someone who looks in shape. Besides, getting in shape isn't a bad thing (especially once you get into your 20's the decline can happen really fast if you don't watch it).
The note on conversation is also important. A lot of guys will say, well I'm going to talk about topic x, y, z anyways because I want a girl who likes me for who I am. Well the reality is that you are looking for a girl who is basically a guy. They do exist, but is that what you really want? I'm guessing people want a girl who's not a dude in disguise. Well that means treating them like a girl, again don't be fake about it, talk about things you both like is a good start. You don't have to fake interest and you can at least find some common ground to build around. Beside if you insist on forcing some nerdy topic on a girl when she's clearly not interested... how inconsiderate is that? It's just like how you'd hate it if all she talked about was shoes and handbags.
Later, once you guys are further along then the difference become endearing and even ways to assert how you are different from other guys (cuz chances are she's not hanging out with a bunch of SC2 fanatics). And that in turn will make you more unique/special.
Sorry to bring up this old derail, but it did strike me as good advice and pretty simple stuff to be aware of (other people are right, looks/fitness matter much less to girls as long as you aren't on the extreme ends of fat/muscle-bound).
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First, let me start by saying I'm a girl, I'm a gamer, and I'm a graduate student (so I've got a little perspective on this issue). I've enjoyed all the stories, but I thought I'd provide some advice:
1) Have your own interests/ambitions/goals, and get yourself set towards them first. I don't care what you look like: guys with ambitions attractive! It doesn't have to be anything huge; just have some sort of ambition to do something. Caveat: while I would find being an amazing Starcraft player or super-nerd very attractive, I'm a special case. Pick up a guitar. Start rock climbing. Cook. Have some hobby of your own.
2) Related to 1): do some serious personality assessment. Figure out who you are, and especially if there are ways you can improve yourself. Girls love confidence (remember: there's a fine line between confidence and being an ass!), but it has to be genuine. Most girls who are honestly looking for relationships and who are worth having are pretty perceptive. So, as lame as it sounds, be yourself (but, an examined self, in the philosophical sense).
3) Look for people you like spending time with, not ones you only like looking at! I admit that there has to be a physical attraction, and physicality is important in a relationship. But, in the end, personality is what determines how well the relationship goes. Remember, for girls, personality is tied up with physical attraction. If she doesn't like who you are or, more importantly, how you make her feel about herself then the attraction will go too.
Also, while I admit that many females are manipulative, not all are. So please stop assuming that all girls are out to play you...sometimes, there are other explanations for why something went wrong. And trust me, bitterness is not fun. I certainly don't assume all guys are out to play me, even if my experience dictates otherwise.
Good luck!
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EPT
