|
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On July 22 2013 10:57 chadissilent wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2013 10:08 Zooper31 wrote:On July 22 2013 09:37 chadissilent wrote:On July 22 2013 04:22 Fumanchu wrote:On July 21 2013 21:06 kuriz wrote:
With more than 224 pages there are no chance that netdating hasn't been commented or being a topic of discussion in this thread. The case is that I just made an internet dating profile and I am looking to hear some suggestions and/or good ideas on how to approach this media. I am a fairly good looking guy that often get told that I am funny and comfortable being around. My main issue is that I have some pretty serious anxiety to approach girls/women (in my 23 year old life I don't recall ever actually going over to a girl to say hi, one of them have always approached me - this might sound al right, but it surely isn't making me an better at getting to be better approaching girls). And this is the reason for this dating profile. I have currently taken a few good photos of myself, made a humorous yet serious profile text and have been writing to different girls trying to mainly comment on what they say about themselves; I have done this in a (to me) humorous and positive tone yet nobody seem to be really interested.
So this is my question that hopefully some of you will try to give me some advice on: what is some good ways to approach and write these girls that I first see a picture of that makes me interested and then (hopefully) read a profile text from that is even interesting and make up for some conversation? Even though I'm only in Silver league I hope that somebody can give me some advice on this matter, thanks! + Show Spoiler +Online dating is a farce. At least if you're a guy. Every girl that you find attractive, whether it's mainly because of her looks or her interests, already has 1000 other guys who are also attracted to her. And since typing out something requires very little risk, you can safely assume that out of those 1000 guys, at least 900 are going to ply their game.
However, how many of these 1000 would walk up to her and talk to her if they accidentally bumped into her in RL? I would guesstimate somewhere around the 100 mark. Talking to girls in person is WAY more effective. Not only does it happen more rarely for girls, it molds you into a more dynamic individual. Your confidence will slowly increase, you will gain knowledge over your strengths, what type of flirting works for you, what type of girl is generally attracted to you. The benefits of face to face interaction is huge.
Now that serious anxiety you feel is completely normal. Every guy goes through it. I didn't have my first gf until I was 23 because talking to girls scared the hell out of me. Here's what happened to me that changed a big part of my life:
A friend brought me to Seven Oaks mall in Abbotsford, BC. He then forced me to cold talk to every girl that I found even a little bit cute. That day was hell. Absolute complete and utter hell. I got turned down a bunch of times. I was awkward, I was sweating a lot, I was lame, I was super self conscious. It was just a terrible, terrible day. And then that night my friend told my other friends about all my lame attempts, and everyone laughed and patted me on the back, and joked around with it. And then the next day, my friend took me back to the same mall again. And even though I still got turned down by every girl I hit on, suddenly it wasn't that big of a deal any more. When I got turned down, I would sort of inwardly grin because I was already imagining the razzing my friends would give me later on. And then slowly, I became more confident and more assured of who I was, and being comfortable with the decisions I made in life, and girls caught on to that, and I started getting numbers.
In other words buddy, just grab a friend and hit up your local mall. Make a sport out of it. Egg each other on. Playfully make fun of each other when you get burned. Share what you learn with each other. Make up tactics. Have contests to see who can get turned down the fastest, or in the most dramatic way. Turn something that seems scary into something that can be really fun. And then eventually it WILL be fun, and not a big deal at all. Hmmm, I wrote out a response that had to do with your anxiety of approaching girls and not with online dating. Since that wasn't the help you were asking for, I spoilered it. Read it if you want, 'cause I think it contains some wisdom, but yeah that wasn't what you were asking for. Basically the reason why nobody seems interested if because you're just unlucky. Girls get hundreds if not thousands of messages from a wide variety of guys online. So getting picked is really more random chance then some great connection. Going to the mall to hit on chicks is pretty creepy. Why don't you play a few games of Crash n' Burn in a more suitable/social setting like at a beer gardens or bar? Because there is less selection at bars and you can't easily escape the location. Malls are perfect for doing that as long as you aren't hitting on people that are alrdy chatting in groups imo. You can easily approach, start a conversation and then bail when needed and not worry about being in the same environment for hours. Also don't have to spend money to enjoy being in the setting, unlike bars where you'll probably have to have a drink or two minimum. There is less selection at bars? I'm not sure if you're actually serious when you say this or if you've never been to a bar before. I've had girls walk up to me in malls before and I just brushed them off. I'm at a mall to buy what I need then I'm getting out of there. I'm not there to try to pick up chicks and many of my female friends feel the same way. Why would you want to escape the environment if you're there to talk to people? When I go out with my friends, I end up talking to a ton of people. A bar is a social place, a place where you can speak with anyone. You don't have to hit on everyone, sometimes you can meet some awesome people that are really cool to talk to. You don't have to buy drinks when you go to the bar, you can always just rock the short glass waters (looks like a highball) if you feel awkward about not drinking. Conversely, the liquid courage doesn't hurt either. If you're a really awkward person, maybe a couple drinks would help loosen you up.
Bars around me suck so yes, less selection. If the main reason I went to a bar was to do few games of Crash n Burn as you put it, going to bar and hitting on every chick there in view of every other chick the entire time isn't the best idea.
Malls are perfectly fine. Different opinions on the matter is all really.
|
On July 22 2013 06:30 Mentalizor wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2013 05:06 darthfoley wrote:
Going on my first real date tonight... dinner/movie.
Not that excited tbh lol How come? Good luck though  Please update how it went
I'm a really extroverted person and pretty easy going in general, but I get pretty bad anxiety before anything involving romance, that's why i wasn't that excited. Once I get settled in it because normal ish. I just have a lot less experience with romance than other 18 year olds for a variety of reasons (not because i'm ass crack ugly).
It actually went a lot better than expected. I had only interacted with her through twitter (where I met her) and texting beforehand, so I wasn't really sure what to expect in terms of awkward levels.
I did the normal pay for dinner/movie tickets, and it wasn't super awkward. I had fun! At the end we hugged and I assume she wanted me to kiss her, but i'm quite the vagina so that will be procrastinated to next time. I will probably see her a few more times before I go off to college.
All in all, not the best of dates nor the worst of dates. Probably a 7/10 on the night.
|
On July 22 2013 04:03 QuanticHawk wrote:
what guy is gonna wanna date someone that they have to explain every joke to???
I feel the problem is more than they are so very uncreative in their responses. It might have something to do with what some of the guys below answered that they get a ton of messages from guys but heck, it feels like I'm having to serve everything on a plate to these girls. They're what I like to call "yes/no-girls" that, even though they have time and can write something that they find funny themselves (instead of having do 'dare' say something funny real life which generally scares off a lot of guys) they respond with absolutely nothing. So I guess netdating isn't as different as dating real life...
On July 22 2013 04:22 Fumanchu wrote:
Hmmm, I wrote out a response that had to do with your anxiety of approaching girls and not with online dating. Since that wasn't the help you were asking for, I spoilered it. Read it if you want, 'cause I think it contains some wisdom, but yeah that wasn't what you were asking for.
Basically the reason why nobody seems interested if because you're just unlucky. Girls get hundreds if not thousands of messages from a wide variety of guys online. So getting picked is really more random chance then some great connection.
Thank you this was indeed a good idea and maybe I should do something similar to your mall experience. When you went up to all the ones that you found just remotely interesting, did you just say: "hi" to begin with and then asked them for something or what was the purpose? I guess it wasn't just going to say hi and then just stand there looking into their eyes without saying anything (although that would be very interesting).
On July 22 2013 05:28 Broetchenholer wrote:
Third, funny is not what they are looking for. I made the exact same approach like you. Funny but serious profile, trying to write something relating to her profile. If i get a response, they tell me i am funny. And half of them doesn't write anything more. Funny just does not cut it.
These lines were the ones that caught my attention the most because I think you're exactly right: it doesn't seem like funny (if not all then most women are turned on by humour) cut it, but then what does? These yes/no girl really makes this media or platform frustrating. I get the point that girls get tons and tons of more messages than guys does, but even the one that responds respond in such a dull way that it's unbelievable. Where did the creativity and magic of being able to think and write go? (I might not write like that in English but in Danish where I can actually make proper well-thought sentences it's a completely other matter).
Sometimes it feels strange to me that so many people have a girlfriend/boyfriend because.....shit, when I meet them, most likely I like them, but I would have no intention of ever becoming their boyfriend, they're simply not having and enough engaging personality.
I feel like I sound like the most interesting man in the universe and I am by no means. But my experience is just that there are so little fun and go in all these women that it's just not very funny or attractive for me to be hanging around.
|
On July 22 2013 14:08 darthfoley wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2013 06:30 Mentalizor wrote:On July 22 2013 05:06 darthfoley wrote:
Going on my first real date tonight... dinner/movie.
Not that excited tbh lol How come? Good luck though Please update how it went I'm a really extroverted person and pretty easy going in general, but I get pretty bad anxiety before anything involving romance, that's why i wasn't that excited. Once I get settled in it because normal ish. I just have a lot less experience with romance than other 18 year olds for a variety of reasons (not because i'm ass crack ugly). It actually went a lot better than expected. I had only interacted with her through twitter (where I met her) and texting beforehand, so I wasn't really sure what to expect in terms of awkward levels. I did the normal pay for dinner/movie tickets, and it wasn't super awkward. I had fun! At the end we hugged and I assume she wanted me to kiss her, but i'm quite the vagina so that will be procrastinated to next time. I will probably see her a few more times before I go off to college. All in all, not the best of dates nor the worst of dates. Probably a 7/10 on the night.
Sounds pretty good Will you be going far away for college? Considering starting a relationship if you're going to another state can be tough. Logistics play a bigger part of a relationship than people think. Yeah, I know I'm overdoing this right now - you've only been on one date, but keep it in mind
Ask her out again... Maybe this time for something else... Like a picnic (you've got amazing weather in the states right now, right?)
|
On July 22 2013 14:08 darthfoley wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2013 06:30 Mentalizor wrote:On July 22 2013 05:06 darthfoley wrote:
Going on my first real date tonight... dinner/movie.
Not that excited tbh lol How come? Good luck though Please update how it went I'm a really extroverted person and pretty easy going in general, but I get pretty bad anxiety before anything involving romance, that's why i wasn't that excited. Once I get settled in it because normal ish. I just have a lot less experience with romance than other 18 year olds for a variety of reasons (not because i'm ass crack ugly). It actually went a lot better than expected. I had only interacted with her through twitter (where I met her) and texting beforehand, so I wasn't really sure what to expect in terms of awkward levels. I did the normal pay for dinner/movie tickets, and it wasn't super awkward. I had fun! At the end we hugged and I assume she wanted me to kiss her, but i'm quite the vagina so that will be procrastinated to next time. I will probably see her a few more times before I go off to college. All in all, not the best of dates nor the worst of dates. Probably a 7/10 on the night.
You paid for dinner and movie tickets /facepalm
|
Northern Ireland23758 Posts
I get what you mean kuriz.
It can be pretty frustrating that girls, especially good looking ones never really have to work and develop an engaging personality, because so many people put them on a pedestal just for being hot.
Not saying that all attractive women are personality-deficient
|
On July 22 2013 21:14 Wombat_NI wrote:
I get what you mean kuriz.
It can be pretty frustrating that girls, especially good looking ones never really have to work and develop an engaging personality, because so many people put them on a pedestal just for being hot.
Not saying that all attractive women are personality-deficient
Isn't that statement somewhat universal? There are plenty of good looking dudes that don't ever have to "develop engaging personalities" either.
However, I object to the statement that it's frustrating. If you're simply thinking about dating someone due to looks, aren't you just as shallow and personality lacking as the the good looking girls are?
As you acknowledged, it's a very broad and generalized statement, but I really don't think it's true at any time. The personality developed by the people who are "put on a pedestal just for being hot" is simply a different personality than yours, not any less or more engaging.
|
Northern Ireland23758 Posts
On July 22 2013 21:25 Basic Basic wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2013 21:14 Wombat_NI wrote:
I get what you mean kuriz.
It can be pretty frustrating that girls, especially good looking ones never really have to work and develop an engaging personality, because so many people put them on a pedestal just for being hot.
Not saying that all attractive women are personality-deficient Isn't that statement somewhat universal? There are plenty of good looking dudes that don't ever have to "develop engaging personalities" either. However, I object to the statement that it's frustrating. If you're simply thinking about dating someone due to looks, aren't you just as shallow and personality lacking as the the good looking girls are? As you acknowledged, it's a very broad and generalized statement, but I really don't think it's true at any time. The personality developed by the people who are "put on a pedestal just for being hot" is simply a different personality than yours, not any less or more engaging.
It's not necessarily to do with being attractive, but the being put on a pedestal because of your attractiveness. There's a noticeable difference in my locality between girls who went to mixed-gender schools and those who went to same-sex schools. How they're treated in those formative years by being around the opposite sex for 6/7 hours every week day has a cumulative impact. Some generalisations are completely wide of the mark, some have kernels of truth contained within.
It's only 'shallow' if attractiveness is one of your sole prerequisites in a potential partner, which in my case is not true.
I know it's popular in this day and age to do away with the old 'better' and 'worse' tags in favour of 'different but equal'
|
|
|
On July 22 2013 14:52 kuriz wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2013 04:03 QuanticHawk wrote:
what guy is gonna wanna date someone that they have to explain every joke to???
I feel the problem is more than they are so very uncreative in their responses. It might have something to do with what some of the guys below answered that they get a ton of messages from guys but heck, it feels like I'm having to serve everything on a plate to these girls. They're what I like to call "yes/no-girls" that, even though they have time and can write something that they find funny themselves (instead of having do 'dare' say something funny real life which generally scares off a lot of guys) they respond with absolutely nothing. So I guess netdating isn't as different as dating real life...
that was a joke about you pretending you didnt know it was a gay joke, goddamnit.
if you want worthwhile input, copy and paste your profile text, and some samples of the message convos. or better yet, read this since id be telling you the same thing pretty much http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=98041
if youre a good enough looking dude and not getting responses, it is because your profile and/or messages suck
On July 22 2013 09:37 chadissilent wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2013 04:22 Fumanchu wrote:On July 21 2013 21:06 kuriz wrote:
With more than 224 pages there are no chance that netdating hasn't been commented or being a topic of discussion in this thread. The case is that I just made an internet dating profile and I am looking to hear some suggestions and/or good ideas on how to approach this media. I am a fairly good looking guy that often get told that I am funny and comfortable being around. My main issue is that I have some pretty serious anxiety to approach girls/women (in my 23 year old life I don't recall ever actually going over to a girl to say hi, one of them have always approached me - this might sound al right, but it surely isn't making me an better at getting to be better approaching girls). And this is the reason for this dating profile. I have currently taken a few good photos of myself, made a humorous yet serious profile text and have been writing to different girls trying to mainly comment on what they say about themselves; I have done this in a (to me) humorous and positive tone yet nobody seem to be really interested.
So this is my question that hopefully some of you will try to give me some advice on: what is some good ways to approach and write these girls that I first see a picture of that makes me interested and then (hopefully) read a profile text from that is even interesting and make up for some conversation? Even though I'm only in Silver league I hope that somebody can give me some advice on this matter, thanks! + Show Spoiler +Online dating is a farce. At least if you're a guy. Every girl that you find attractive, whether it's mainly because of her looks or her interests, already has 1000 other guys who are also attracted to her. And since typing out something requires very little risk, you can safely assume that out of those 1000 guys, at least 900 are going to ply their game.
However, how many of these 1000 would walk up to her and talk to her if they accidentally bumped into her in RL? I would guesstimate somewhere around the 100 mark. Talking to girls in person is WAY more effective. Not only does it happen more rarely for girls, it molds you into a more dynamic individual. Your confidence will slowly increase, you will gain knowledge over your strengths, what type of flirting works for you, what type of girl is generally attracted to you. The benefits of face to face interaction is huge.
Now that serious anxiety you feel is completely normal. Every guy goes through it. I didn't have my first gf until I was 23 because talking to girls scared the hell out of me. Here's what happened to me that changed a big part of my life:
A friend brought me to Seven Oaks mall in Abbotsford, BC. He then forced me to cold talk to every girl that I found even a little bit cute. That day was hell. Absolute complete and utter hell. I got turned down a bunch of times. I was awkward, I was sweating a lot, I was lame, I was super self conscious. It was just a terrible, terrible day. And then that night my friend told my other friends about all my lame attempts, and everyone laughed and patted me on the back, and joked around with it. And then the next day, my friend took me back to the same mall again. And even though I still got turned down by every girl I hit on, suddenly it wasn't that big of a deal any more. When I got turned down, I would sort of inwardly grin because I was already imagining the razzing my friends would give me later on. And then slowly, I became more confident and more assured of who I was, and being comfortable with the decisions I made in life, and girls caught on to that, and I started getting numbers.
In other words buddy, just grab a friend and hit up your local mall. Make a sport out of it. Egg each other on. Playfully make fun of each other when you get burned. Share what you learn with each other. Make up tactics. Have contests to see who can get turned down the fastest, or in the most dramatic way. Turn something that seems scary into something that can be really fun. And then eventually it WILL be fun, and not a big deal at all. Hmmm, I wrote out a response that had to do with your anxiety of approaching girls and not with online dating. Since that wasn't the help you were asking for, I spoilered it. Read it if you want, 'cause I think it contains some wisdom, but yeah that wasn't what you were asking for. Basically the reason why nobody seems interested if because you're just unlucky. Girls get hundreds if not thousands of messages from a wide variety of guys online. So getting picked is really more random chance then some great connection. Going to the mall to hit on chicks is pretty creepy. Why don't you play a few games of Crash n' Burn in a more suitable/social setting like at a beer gardens or bar?
agreed. youre just gonna end up looking like a creepy pua like squattincasanova does in his field report videos. if youre going to the mall to girl hunt after 17 or so, it is definitely odd
On July 22 2013 05:28 The_Masked_Shrimp wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2013 02:27 QuanticHawk wrote:On July 22 2013 02:19 Shiori wrote:On July 22 2013 02:07 QuanticHawk wrote:On July 21 2013 17:18 Ambre wrote:
Here is my question : do you guys think it's okay for a guy to eat lunch + movie (in the afternoon) with a girl who is not his g/f ? What do you personnaly think about this ? of course it is, so long as the dude doesnt have a thing for said girl so in your instance, no This. However, you should find out your gf's position on the matter. Not because she has any right to stop you from making this kind of decision, but because if she were to have problems with this kind of thing, you're setting yourself up for trouble in the long run. You should probably find out if your gf thinks this kind of thing is fine; if she has a problem with it, I'd break up with her. No equal relationship requires one person not to have friends of the opposite sex. yeah agreed if your gf feels that way about you being friends with women you need to end it yesterday. if you have similar feelings about her with dudes, you need to stop being a dumbass you hanging out with this girl under those circumstances is pretty bullshit though, and even a totally secure and confident person would call you on that shit There is always a line about what is acceptable with the friends of your partner. If your gf tell you she might join a male friend for a one month trip with just the two of them, i can't ever see it being cool. Most of my relatives also agree that it's weird for a gf to go on one to one trips with male friends while in a relationship. I was fine with her going on parties with her friends or even trips with a group of friends; not mentionning eating and movies it's all normal stuff. But this one to one trip thing was just too much for me. I dunno if this classifies as being too close minded or dumbass but I think it's something that will always be across the line for me.
not that i disagree with you on that, but that isnt at all close to being friends with someone of the opposite sex or even going to hang out or go grab dinner with them.
|
On July 13 2013 00:18 Shiori wrote:
I just broke up with my girlfriend, or rather, she just broke up with me. She was 24 and I'm 21, so there was an age gap as well as the fact that I'm in university still while she works as a graphics design coordinator at a really huge bank headquarters. She also lives about 1.5 hours away from me (I live in a small town whereas she lives in the city; during university, I also live in that city, but since it's the summer I'm mostly back in my hometown) so she cited distance issues. She also said that she felt that I wasn't making her feel wanted enough and that I wasn't spending enough time with her, which is absolutely true since I definitely had my doubts about the relationship. That said, she was honestly the sweetest girl I've ever met and she treated me incredibly well (always thought of me, did things for me, bought me meaningful gifts for no reason, took an interest in my hobbies and life and supported me in my struggles without fail) and now that it's over I find myself missing her so much, as we had many wonderful memories.
From a rational point of view, I know that it's probably for the best. There was really no way that it was going to last, because the truth is that when we were in the relationship, I often found myself questioning how much I really liked her. Furthermore, she was looking to settle down in the next few years, whereas I still have a lot of school left to do and so I can't really do that. We both became much more attached to each other than we set out to be (initially it was just going to be not particularly serious and we'd just see how it goes) but when she broke up with me we told each other that we were starting to fall in love with each other. For her part, she said that she wanted to end things before she fell completely in love because she couldn't handle the loneliness of being so far away from me. Even when I offered to visit more often and take steps to improve things, she was pretty against it, and I suppose it's because it was too little, too late.
It's just really hard to get over it, honestly, because I can't stop thinking of all the wonderful memories we had together and of all the touching things she did for me. I wrote several thousand words in my journal the other day recounting the entirety of our relationship (which didn't last very long but felt more serious than it was) along with all the good things about her and the things I remember disliking. The trouble is that it's so hard to remember the things you didn't like now that you don't have them, but it's so hard to forget the things you did like now that they're gone; the former only bothers you when it's something you have, so you don't miss it when it's gone, but the latter is something you might not even realize until it's completely out of your reach.
I wish her nothing but the best; she truly deserves someone who can return her utter devotion and kindness. I wish I could have the chance to try again, but I know now that such a thing will never happen. For me, the hardest thing will be moving on and accepting that one of the most beautiful chapters of my life has ended. As someone who suffers from clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder, it's very hard for me to avoid relapsing in the aftermath of this breakup, especially since she offered me such support in dealing with those issues. I'll never forget her, though, and a month from now I'll reach out to her so that we can be friends again. We both agreed that if we ever broke up, we should make the effort to become friends again once the romantic feelings and longings have subsided.
I think I'm going to take a break from dating for awhile, though. I don't think I'll meet anyone quite that special for a long time, though perhaps the world will surprise me. For now, it's just sadness, regret, and nostalgia.
Update: last night I had a chat with this girl, and she confessed that she had been bullshitting me: the reason she broke up with me is because she was developing feelings for someone else. I suspected that this was the real reason from the start, given that her mannerisms were really suspect, and that her reasoning didn't make any sense. Anyhow, I gave her a piece of my mind insofar as she can lament me not treating her well enough or whatever, but that when push came to shove, she acted like a selfish child by trying to make it seem like I was doing something wrong rather than being upfront about having found another person. In that sense, she cared more about not having an awkward conversation than the amount of pain it caused me when she implied that I was treating her poorly, or that I could have done things better, or that it was just a matter of distance.
While she was very kind to me when we were together, there is a difference between being thoughtful toward another person during happy times and being kind in difficult times. There is nothing wrong with her developing feelings for someone else; I'm not jealous of that guy, and I don't begrudge her those feelings. I wish her the best. That said, lying and playing the victim is disgusting, immature, and self-centered. If you have feelings for someone else, own up to them: the relationship is ending because of you; it makes no sense to try to blame the other person to avoid making yourself look bad.
Integrity is always best tested by crisis. Eveidently, she wasn't as good a person as I thought. There were signs of her dishonest tendencies in general, now that I think back on the relationship as a whole, but I ignored them at the time. I'm glad we are no longer together, because it turned out that my young age wasn't the real problem. She was.
Edit: I made it very clear at the beginning of our relationship that I highly value honesty. In fact, I said that if either of us developed feelings for someone else, I would prefer that we be upfront about it, end the relationship, and move on. She gave me her promise that she would do that, and then she broke her word for the sake of convenience. It may seem petty to some, but I have absolutely no tolerance for people who behave so childishly.
|
On July 22 2013 18:44 aTnClouD wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2013 14:08 darthfoley wrote:On July 22 2013 06:30 Mentalizor wrote:On July 22 2013 05:06 darthfoley wrote:
Going on my first real date tonight... dinner/movie.
Not that excited tbh lol How come? Good luck though Please update how it went I'm a really extroverted person and pretty easy going in general, but I get pretty bad anxiety before anything involving romance, that's why i wasn't that excited. Once I get settled in it because normal ish. I just have a lot less experience with romance than other 18 year olds for a variety of reasons (not because i'm ass crack ugly). It actually went a lot better than expected. I had only interacted with her through twitter (where I met her) and texting beforehand, so I wasn't really sure what to expect in terms of awkward levels. I did the normal pay for dinner/movie tickets, and it wasn't super awkward. I had fun! At the end we hugged and I assume she wanted me to kiss her, but i'm quite the vagina so that will be procrastinated to next time. I will probably see her a few more times before I go off to college. All in all, not the best of dates nor the worst of dates. Probably a 7/10 on the night. You paid for dinner and movie tickets /facepalm
Oh man a huge deal breaker right there. Broke rule on page 226 line 7 from how to get laid written by atncloud.
|
Guys, need a quick advise. Like mentioned a few times, i am chatting with some girl over online dating. One of them is really interesting, we have been sending some messages, but her response was always long and late. She always took at least a week to answer, but then she did write more then a page. She seems to be genuinely interested in me. And still, i am really unsure how to handle the situation.
I would really like to get a chance to get to know her, but i don't want to be the guy begging for attention either. Except for her, i was always able to tell whether someone shows interest in me.
So, there are 3 ways to handle this in my brain:
1) Just ask her out. Scary.
2) Ask her if she is interested in me as more then an accasional chat-partner.
3) Just wait until she answers and accept that she and me will eventually lose interest if she doesn't change.
And as you can't judge this at all without actual messages, i am gonna admit that i am lacking real people i would ask for advise and am a horrible loser discussing such matters on an online forum:
+ Show Spoiler +
I got my answers, thanks.
If anyone really reads through this...wow. I just realized how much it is.
|
You better make sure she doesnt find out about this. That is my advise. Also you could just ask her to skype with you if youre too scared to ask her out.
|
Just ask her to hang out..
don't need to ask her to be your girlfriend or anything, since it's way too early, but you can definitely just ask her if she wants to get together sometime. that's pretty benign and doesn't put any expectations on anything.
|
|
|
On July 22 2013 23:47 biology]major wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2013 18:44 aTnClouD wrote:On July 22 2013 14:08 darthfoley wrote:On July 22 2013 06:30 Mentalizor wrote:On July 22 2013 05:06 darthfoley wrote:
Going on my first real date tonight... dinner/movie.
Not that excited tbh lol How come? Good luck though Please update how it went I'm a really extroverted person and pretty easy going in general, but I get pretty bad anxiety before anything involving romance, that's why i wasn't that excited. Once I get settled in it because normal ish. I just have a lot less experience with romance than other 18 year olds for a variety of reasons (not because i'm ass crack ugly). It actually went a lot better than expected. I had only interacted with her through twitter (where I met her) and texting beforehand, so I wasn't really sure what to expect in terms of awkward levels. I did the normal pay for dinner/movie tickets, and it wasn't super awkward. I had fun! At the end we hugged and I assume she wanted me to kiss her, but i'm quite the vagina so that will be procrastinated to next time. I will probably see her a few more times before I go off to college. All in all, not the best of dates nor the worst of dates. Probably a 7/10 on the night. You paid for dinner and movie tickets /facepalm Oh man a huge deal breaker right there. Broke rule on page 226 line 7 from how to get laid written by atncloud.
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
why on earth do you have a goddamn wall of a conversation with that woman and youve not asked her to go out sometime yet??? come on main that is a no brainer
a rule of thumb for that stuff: if you are getting real replies instead of one liners that look like some stupid crap i'd post, they are interested. ask
|
On July 22 2013 23:47 biology]major wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2013 18:44 aTnClouD wrote:On July 22 2013 14:08 darthfoley wrote:On July 22 2013 06:30 Mentalizor wrote:On July 22 2013 05:06 darthfoley wrote:
Going on my first real date tonight... dinner/movie.
Not that excited tbh lol How come? Good luck though Please update how it went I'm a really extroverted person and pretty easy going in general, but I get pretty bad anxiety before anything involving romance, that's why i wasn't that excited. Once I get settled in it because normal ish. I just have a lot less experience with romance than other 18 year olds for a variety of reasons (not because i'm ass crack ugly). It actually went a lot better than expected. I had only interacted with her through twitter (where I met her) and texting beforehand, so I wasn't really sure what to expect in terms of awkward levels. I did the normal pay for dinner/movie tickets, and it wasn't super awkward. I had fun! At the end we hugged and I assume she wanted me to kiss her, but i'm quite the vagina so that will be procrastinated to next time. I will probably see her a few more times before I go off to college. All in all, not the best of dates nor the worst of dates. Probably a 7/10 on the night. You paid for dinner and movie tickets /facepalm Oh man a huge deal breaker right there. Broke rule on page 226 line 7 from how to get laid written by atncloud.
Any decent girl will at least offer to cover one of them. You don't have to accept it, but if she doesn't even offer she's likely just taking advantage of you and probably won't put out until she absolutely has to.
|
On July 23 2013 04:34 chadissilent wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2013 23:47 biology]major wrote:On July 22 2013 18:44 aTnClouD wrote:On July 22 2013 14:08 darthfoley wrote:On July 22 2013 06:30 Mentalizor wrote:On July 22 2013 05:06 darthfoley wrote:
Going on my first real date tonight... dinner/movie.
Not that excited tbh lol How come? Good luck though Please update how it went I'm a really extroverted person and pretty easy going in general, but I get pretty bad anxiety before anything involving romance, that's why i wasn't that excited. Once I get settled in it because normal ish. I just have a lot less experience with romance than other 18 year olds for a variety of reasons (not because i'm ass crack ugly). It actually went a lot better than expected. I had only interacted with her through twitter (where I met her) and texting beforehand, so I wasn't really sure what to expect in terms of awkward levels. I did the normal pay for dinner/movie tickets, and it wasn't super awkward. I had fun! At the end we hugged and I assume she wanted me to kiss her, but i'm quite the vagina so that will be procrastinated to next time. I will probably see her a few more times before I go off to college. All in all, not the best of dates nor the worst of dates. Probably a 7/10 on the night. You paid for dinner and movie tickets /facepalm Oh man a huge deal breaker right there. Broke rule on page 226 line 7 from how to get laid written by atncloud. Any decent girl will at least offer to cover one of them. You don't have to accept it, but if she doesn't even offer she's likely just taking advantage of you and probably won't put out until she absolutely has to.
Or she's just old fashioned and doesn't even know that it's polite to ask. It really isn't that big of a deal unless one is utterly broke. Many act as though men paying for the first date is some massive affront to contemporary manhood, when in reality, it doesn't have to be a big deal at all. I've paid on some first dates, and had the woman pay on others. It's neither here nor there.
|
eh it certainly reflects better if they ask, but honestly 99% of the time the people who make a big deal about stuff like that are mra or pua disciples. using a weird gendered social norm to determine whether or not a person is materialistic or using you as a meal ticket that night is silly. you can find that out real fast just from normal convo over the first couple dates. it's a first date you shouldnt be going nutso on your spending anyway
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
