We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
On July 23 2013 12:51 spkim1 wrote: Nice guys finish last.
No, but in all seriousness, you should take time to think why you're dating that chick. Is she hot, cute? You like the sex? Are you going to marry her, and if so, will you be happy?
I just want to let you know that she's not gonna change. Ever. The way she is now will be the way she will be until the moment you break-up, divorce, or die.
So if you think she is so oh-my-god-hot/cute and/or if your sexlife is so incredibly amazingly mind-blowing that you don't mind all the stuff she's doing that ticks you off, then you may continue your relationship. Keep in mind that she may be the one asking to break-up in the end, though, so you have more to lose as you two date. Besides, you seem to be the one that is more emotionally committed than her (i.e. she is naturally a less emotional person than you, or, well I hate to break it, but you're more into her)
Little piece of advice, girls who demand a lot are extremely exhausting, and giving her everything she asks will just spoil her. You have to see if she appreciates the small things (in life, and about you, and everything). It's called being mature. Girls who complain a lot have been raised by being pampered like princesses, and you should not give into things like that. Maintain your dignity as a guy.
Being single is actually pretty comfortable, you can do what you want whenever you want wherever you want with whoever you want with giving a single sh*t about anything. Eat, sleep, play games, go clubbing, go drinking and partying without a single care. Your money is yours to spend alone. Sure, you might feel lonely sometimes, but hey, leave emotions at the door, and enjoy the quiet solitude. It's a great life, with lots of freedom, until you find the right girl for you in life.
But hey, if you have a good plan to manage your turbulent relationship in the future, never-mind this comment and go ahead man. I'm sure there are brave/intelligent/tough men out there who can out-think spoiled princesses and make them stick around you and grow fond of you.
For my part, I've had amazing relationship experience before, as well as atrocious ones. The reason I can give you advises like the above is because I've been there, done that, and know where it's headed. You'll do things that tick her off, she'll reciprocate, intentionally or unintentionally, and, well, it's gonna build up until the volcano erupts, and it's the final goodbye. The good relationship experiences I've had before almost never involved any uncomfortableness when together, because it's two mature minds that meet together and appreciate each other.
Last words: think of it a little bit like a Starcraft game; observe what she is doing, and plan ahead for a suitable reaction for the result you want. Turbulent relationships require the use of your head, whether to maintain, or to call gg. The difference will be whether you can save it, prolong your misery/joy, or earn earlier freedom to move on to a better girl.
Over and out.
Jesus dude, let me give you an internet hug.
This is a really negative viewpoint to have with regards to women, or anything really.
Each new woman you meet should be seen as an opportunity for growth or fun or something positive, not an opportunity to not get hurt. I think this is something that you learn after getting hurt enough. You kind of have to make a choice on how to handle the loss. Will you gg or rage quit?
On July 23 2013 05:01 Shadowpostin wrote: I just went on a date with a female version of myself and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.
Lucky. I would totally love to see/meet/make out with a female version of myself. Perhaps I'm a bit narcissistic.
Think this really depends on the personna... I would love tons of things about a girl being my mirror image... But bro, I wouldn't stick around anyone with that sort of temper... I really think it depends on the individual
ugh yea this is definitely not the good kind of same.... we're both incredibly lazy,have little to no ambitions,procrastinate a lot,read lots of books,daydream and eat kebabs when ever we can. I have a feeling if we started going out that we would die within 3 months out of sheer inertia
On the plus side, you found the one person who is most likely to be ok with you having no ambitions, being lazy and eating lots of kebab. I'm *guessing* none of those are very desirable qualities in a date
On July 23 2013 12:51 spkim1 wrote: Nice guys finish last.
No, but in all seriousness, you should take time to think why you're dating that chick. Is she hot, cute? You like the sex? Are you going to marry her, and if so, will you be happy?
I just want to let you know that she's not gonna change. Ever. The way she is now will be the way she will be until the moment you break-up, divorce, or die.
So if you think she is so oh-my-god-hot/cute and/or if your sexlife is so incredibly amazingly mind-blowing that you don't mind all the stuff she's doing that ticks you off, then you may continue your relationship. Keep in mind that she may be the one asking to break-up in the end, though, so you have more to lose as you two date. Besides, you seem to be the one that is more emotionally committed than her (i.e. she is naturally a less emotional person than you, or, well I hate to break it, but you're more into her)
Little piece of advice, girls who demand a lot are extremely exhausting, and giving her everything she asks will just spoil her. You have to see if she appreciates the small things (in life, and about you, and everything). It's called being mature. Girls who complain a lot have been raised by being pampered like princesses, and you should not give into things like that. Maintain your dignity as a guy.
Being single is actually pretty comfortable, you can do what you want whenever you want wherever you want with whoever you want with giving a single sh*t about anything. Eat, sleep, play games, go clubbing, go drinking and partying without a single care. Your money is yours to spend alone. Sure, you might feel lonely sometimes, but hey, leave emotions at the door, and enjoy the quiet solitude. It's a great life, with lots of freedom, until you find the right girl for you in life.
But hey, if you have a good plan to manage your turbulent relationship in the future, never-mind this comment and go ahead man. I'm sure there are brave/intelligent/tough men out there who can out-think spoiled princesses and make them stick around you and grow fond of you.
For my part, I've had amazing relationship experience before, as well as atrocious ones. The reason I can give you advises like the above is because I've been there, done that, and know where it's headed. You'll do things that tick her off, she'll reciprocate, intentionally or unintentionally, and, well, it's gonna build up until the volcano erupts, and it's the final goodbye. The good relationship experiences I've had before almost never involved any uncomfortableness when together, because it's two mature minds that meet together and appreciate each other.
Last words: think of it a little bit like a Starcraft game; observe what she is doing, and plan ahead for a suitable reaction for the result you want. Turbulent relationships require the use of your head, whether to maintain, or to call gg. The difference will be whether you can save it, prolong your misery/joy, or earn earlier freedom to move on to a better girl.
Over and out.
Jesus dude, let me give you an internet hug.
This is a really negative viewpoint to have with regards to women, or anything really.
Each new woman you meet should be seen as an opportunity for growth or fun or something positive, not an opportunity to not get hurt. I think this is something that you learn after getting hurt enough. You kind of have to make a choice on how to handle the loss. Will you gg or rage quit?
Anyway wcs is back on..
Meh, you're just too innocent to see the obvious cruelty rampaging our society. There is no better alternative than staying safe and protecting yourself. Better keep your guard up !
On a more serious note, though, expanding on this, there really are some important things you have to see when you start dating. Don't be just blinded by a new prospective love-life about to start for you. Observe how the girl is actually reacting ! They are doing the same for you ! If that girl is scrutinizing your behaviour, it's like they're scouting your main and natural expo, and you're blindly playing, thinking you're winning, and cheerfully following your build order while she is preparing to drop the shit out of your expansions.
OK, that was, admittedly, a very poor metaphor. What I mean is that you have to be careful what kind of girl you're dating. Make sure what she asks of you is sensible. Depending on what kind of social position you are in, you have to make sure she reacts in a reasonable and thoughtful way e.g. if you're a student, you both should pay for your dates. If it's 40 degrees Fahrenheit outside and you have to give her your jacket while you only have a t-shirt on, and if she takes it without a word, there's already something going on there. First, she's thoughtless for having not brought something warm on her own. Second, she doesn't CARE whether YOU're cold or not. Hah ! Thanks for the sympathy, gal. But please GTFO my life from now on and never come back. And then she COMPLAINS, ruining the mood ??? If you don't react to that, you're just being dumb. I swear to you there are better alternatives for you out there. Cut out the bullshit and move on.
On July 23 2013 04:47 QuanticHawk wrote: eh it certainly reflects better if they ask, but honestly 99% of the time the people who make a big deal about stuff like that are mra or pua disciples. using a weird gendered social norm to determine whether or not a person is materialistic or using you as a meal ticket that night is silly. you can find that out real fast just from normal convo over the first couple dates. it's a first date you shouldnt be going nutso on your spending anyway
I wouldn't go so far as to calling these people PUA or Mra (whatever the fuck that is...) but maybe just experienced in the dating world. Maybe I have been lucky but every girl I've had something with has never hesitated to try to pay for some dates or surprise me with something (the best was a 2 story presidential suite at a 5* hotel in the mountains). I don't always let them but it just shows they're not along for a free ride. A few girls I've dated for an extremely short period of time that turned out to be shallow and materialistic were the ones that just expected that shit out of me. Don't get me wrong, I can afford all of that easily but I don't want to be with a girl that just expects shit out of me. If I want to surprise her, I will but I don't want some sense of entitlement when I do.
Agreed on your last point though, first date is always a coffee date/mini golf/something where you can get to know the person. The last thing I want is to be at a bar and this girl expects me to feed her drinks all night or waste a few hours of my time and $100 of my money on a nice dinner with a person that downright sucks.
i think the discussion ,or at least what i was talking about, was more about the first couple of dates. obvious if youre dating someone seriously, you should expect to not have to pay for everything.
I've noticed that the early going really sets the stage for the long term.
On July 23 2013 12:51 spkim1 wrote: For my part, I've had amazing relationship experience before, as well as atrocious ones. The reason I can give you advises like the above is because I've been there, done that, and know where it's headed. You'll do things that tick her off, she'll reciprocate, intentionally or unintentionally, and, well, it's gonna build up until the volcano erupts, and it's the final goodbye. The good relationship experiences I've had before almost never involved any uncomfortableness when together, because it's two mature minds that meet together and appreciate each other.
My biggest piece of advice for anyone in this thread: Never go to bed angry. If everything is solved before you go to sleep, the next day is totally fresh and you can get on with your lives. I've also "been there, done that" and that has been my biggest tip to building successful long term relationships.
true about that, but i think were getting away from the original thing, about tripping out over that social norm on the first date . im always paying that no questions asked and i think that is just a safe thing to do. i think anyone ive ever dated past like three times has always taken me out by at least the third. idk i just think three dates, that is probably somewhere around two weeks if you actually really like each other usually. how much can you really know then?
i do kind of agree with your other piece of advice, but it is sometimes unrealistic. in the past ive been up late on too many worknights because of people who cling to that no matter what. i prefer space for a few hours if the argument isnt resolved after an hour of talkng or so. i know my weaknesses and thats about my threshold before i just start getting stupid
Fully agreed about paying for the first date. It's not even a question, but dinner and a movie? Fuck that noise. With my current gf, our second date was lunch and a movie. She bought the movie tickets on her phone without telling me as I was driving to the theatre. That wasn't necessary but I appreciated the thought.
And to the guy saying going to bed angry lets you forget about the problem by the morning, does your SO feel the same way? Will she be harbouring resentment so your next fight is 3 times worse? By not going to bed angry and getting things out of the way by talking, my ex and so fought maybe twice in 3 years. Instead we just had rational discussions and cleared things up before they became a problem. This was a combination of long distance, living in the same town, and living together -- basically all possible situations.
On July 23 2013 05:01 Shadowpostin wrote: I just went on a date with a female version of myself and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.
Lucky. I would totally love to see/meet/make out with a female version of myself. Perhaps I'm a bit narcissistic.
Think this really depends on the personna... I would love tons of things about a girl being my mirror image... But bro, I wouldn't stick around anyone with that sort of temper... I really think it depends on the individual
ugh yea this is definitely not the good kind of same.... we're both incredibly lazy,have little to no ambitions,procrastinate a lot,read lots of books,daydream and eat kebabs when ever we can. I have a feeling if we started going out that we would die within 3 months out of sheer inertia
Be mindful of your ambitions, requirements and anticipations from any potential partner. If she is lazy - chances are she doesn't mind you being lazy at all. If she is super active, she probably wont be too interested in someone spacing out a lot (no offense, but you sound like a guy who can easilly escape this world through shear imagination - and that's a cool feature imo).
The thing is... You should not anticipate anything from a potential partner you aren't willing to actually do yourself. So if you wish to be lazy with little to no ambitions - chances are your SO is someone like you. If you get lucky you find some girl looking for a "guy-project" who could pick you up and get you going... But... Bro, I wouldn't mind finding a girl I could get lazy with and chow down some döner
On July 23 2013 12:51 spkim1 wrote: Nice guys finish last.
No, but in all seriousness, you should take time to think why you're dating that chick. Is she hot, cute? You like the sex? Are you going to marry her, and if so, will you be happy?
I just want to let you know that she's not gonna change. Ever. The way she is now will be the way she will be until the moment you break-up, divorce, or die.
So if you think she is so oh-my-god-hot/cute and/or if your sexlife is so incredibly amazingly mind-blowing that you don't mind all the stuff she's doing that ticks you off, then you may continue your relationship. Keep in mind that she may be the one asking to break-up in the end, though, so you have more to lose as you two date. Besides, you seem to be the one that is more emotionally committed than her (i.e. she is naturally a less emotional person than you, or, well I hate to break it, but you're more into her)
Little piece of advice, girls who demand a lot are extremely exhausting, and giving her everything she asks will just spoil her. You have to see if she appreciates the small things (in life, and about you, and everything). It's called being mature. Girls who complain a lot have been raised by being pampered like princesses, and you should not give into things like that. Maintain your dignity as a guy.
Being single is actually pretty comfortable, you can do what you want whenever you want wherever you want with whoever you want with giving a single sh*t about anything. Eat, sleep, play games, go clubbing, go drinking and partying without a single care. Your money is yours to spend alone. Sure, you might feel lonely sometimes, but hey, leave emotions at the door, and enjoy the quiet solitude. It's a great life, with lots of freedom, until you find the right girl for you in life.
But hey, if you have a good plan to manage your turbulent relationship in the future, never-mind this comment and go ahead man. I'm sure there are brave/intelligent/tough men out there who can out-think spoiled princesses and make them stick around you and grow fond of you.
For my part, I've had amazing relationship experience before, as well as atrocious ones. The reason I can give you advises like the above is because I've been there, done that, and know where it's headed. You'll do things that tick her off, she'll reciprocate, intentionally or unintentionally, and, well, it's gonna build up until the volcano erupts, and it's the final goodbye. The good relationship experiences I've had before almost never involved any uncomfortableness when together, because it's two mature minds that meet together and appreciate each other.
Last words: think of it a little bit like a Starcraft game; observe what she is doing, and plan ahead for a suitable reaction for the result you want. Turbulent relationships require the use of your head, whether to maintain, or to call gg. The difference will be whether you can save it, prolong your misery/joy, or earn earlier freedom to move on to a better girl.
Over and out.
Jesus dude, let me give you an internet hug.
This is a really negative viewpoint to have with regards to women, or anything really.
Each new woman you meet should be seen as an opportunity for growth or fun or something positive, not an opportunity to not get hurt. I think this is something that you learn after getting hurt enough. You kind of have to make a choice on how to handle the loss. Will you gg or rage quit?
Anyway wcs is back on..
Meh, you're just too innocent to see the obvious cruelty rampaging our society. There is no better alternative than staying safe and protecting yourself. Better keep your guard up !
On a more serious note, though, expanding on this, there really are some important things you have to see when you start dating. Don't be just blinded by a new prospective love-life about to start for you. Observe how the girl is actually reacting ! They are doing the same for you ! If that girl is scrutinizing your behaviour, it's like they're scouting your main and natural expo, and you're blindly playing, thinking you're winning, and cheerfully following your build order while she is preparing to drop the shit out of your expansions.
OK, that was, admittedly, a very poor metaphor. What I mean is that you have to be careful what kind of girl you're dating. Make sure what she asks of you is sensible. Depending on what kind of social position you are in, you have to make sure she reacts in a reasonable and thoughtful way e.g. if you're a student, you both should pay for your dates. If it's 40 degrees Fahrenheit outside and you have to give her your jacket while you only have a t-shirt on, and if she takes it without a word, there's already something going on there. First, she's thoughtless for having not brought something warm on her own. Second, she doesn't CARE whether YOU're cold or not. Hah ! Thanks for the sympathy, gal. But please GTFO my life from now on and never come back. And then she COMPLAINS, ruining the mood ??? If you don't react to that, you're just being dumb. I swear to you there are better alternatives for you out there. Cut out the bullshit and move on.
Yours Sincerely !
You have a very bad view on life and on women in particular, someone hurt you badly and now you're taking it out on every single women you meet. I'm sorry for your loss but you need to open up and just live life.
I happily now have a girl in my life after being single for 3years. Just got done cuddling, fucking, and taking a nap in each others arms.
On July 23 2013 12:51 spkim1 wrote: Nice guys finish last.
No, but in all seriousness, you should take time to think why you're dating that chick. Is she hot, cute? You like the sex? Are you going to marry her, and if so, will you be happy?
I just want to let you know that she's not gonna change. Ever. The way she is now will be the way she will be until the moment you break-up, divorce, or die.
So if you think she is so oh-my-god-hot/cute and/or if your sexlife is so incredibly amazingly mind-blowing that you don't mind all the stuff she's doing that ticks you off, then you may continue your relationship. Keep in mind that she may be the one asking to break-up in the end, though, so you have more to lose as you two date. Besides, you seem to be the one that is more emotionally committed than her (i.e. she is naturally a less emotional person than you, or, well I hate to break it, but you're more into her)
Little piece of advice, girls who demand a lot are extremely exhausting, and giving her everything she asks will just spoil her. You have to see if she appreciates the small things (in life, and about you, and everything). It's called being mature. Girls who complain a lot have been raised by being pampered like princesses, and you should not give into things like that. Maintain your dignity as a guy.
Being single is actually pretty comfortable, you can do what you want whenever you want wherever you want with whoever you want with giving a single sh*t about anything. Eat, sleep, play games, go clubbing, go drinking and partying without a single care. Your money is yours to spend alone. Sure, you might feel lonely sometimes, but hey, leave emotions at the door, and enjoy the quiet solitude. It's a great life, with lots of freedom, until you find the right girl for you in life.
But hey, if you have a good plan to manage your turbulent relationship in the future, never-mind this comment and go ahead man. I'm sure there are brave/intelligent/tough men out there who can out-think spoiled princesses and make them stick around you and grow fond of you.
For my part, I've had amazing relationship experience before, as well as atrocious ones. The reason I can give you advises like the above is because I've been there, done that, and know where it's headed. You'll do things that tick her off, she'll reciprocate, intentionally or unintentionally, and, well, it's gonna build up until the volcano erupts, and it's the final goodbye. The good relationship experiences I've had before almost never involved any uncomfortableness when together, because it's two mature minds that meet together and appreciate each other.
Last words: think of it a little bit like a Starcraft game; observe what she is doing, and plan ahead for a suitable reaction for the result you want. Turbulent relationships require the use of your head, whether to maintain, or to call gg. The difference will be whether you can save it, prolong your misery/joy, or earn earlier freedom to move on to a better girl.
Over and out.
Jesus dude, let me give you an internet hug.
This is a really negative viewpoint to have with regards to women, or anything really.
Each new woman you meet should be seen as an opportunity for growth or fun or something positive, not an opportunity to not get hurt. I think this is something that you learn after getting hurt enough. You kind of have to make a choice on how to handle the loss. Will you gg or rage quit?
Anyway wcs is back on..
Meh, you're just too innocent to see the obvious cruelty rampaging our society. There is no better alternative than staying safe and protecting yourself. Better keep your guard up !
On a more serious note, though, expanding on this, there really are some important things you have to see when you start dating. Don't be just blinded by a new prospective love-life about to start for you. Observe how the girl is actually reacting ! They are doing the same for you ! If that girl is scrutinizing your behaviour, it's like they're scouting your main and natural expo, and you're blindly playing, thinking you're winning, and cheerfully following your build order while she is preparing to drop the shit out of your expansions.
OK, that was, admittedly, a very poor metaphor. What I mean is that you have to be careful what kind of girl you're dating. Make sure what she asks of you is sensible. Depending on what kind of social position you are in, you have to make sure she reacts in a reasonable and thoughtful way e.g. if you're a student, you both should pay for your dates. If it's 40 degrees Fahrenheit outside and you have to give her your jacket while you only have a t-shirt on, and if she takes it without a word, there's already something going on there. First, she's thoughtless for having not brought something warm on her own. Second, she doesn't CARE whether YOU're cold or not. Hah ! Thanks for the sympathy, gal. But please GTFO my life from now on and never come back. And then she COMPLAINS, ruining the mood ??? If you don't react to that, you're just being dumb. I swear to you there are better alternatives for you out there. Cut out the bullshit and move on.
Yours Sincerely !
You have a very bad view on life and on women in particular, someone hurt you badly and now you're taking it out on every single women you meet. I'm sorry for your loss but you need to open up and just live life.
I happily now have a girl in my life after being single for 3years. Just got done cuddling, fucking, and taking a nap in each others arms.
Yeah yeah, it's nice n' hot n' heavy
OK, I'm sorry, I'll be more polite, or try. BTW, you must feel real mighty and proud for having b... Phew, this is hard. But if you can somehow write a constructive argument that disproves my logic above, instead of accusing my viewpoint on life of pessimism, picturing me as a bitter person, and degrading me by inferring my past experience with women as injuring, my respect for your intelligence might go up a tad bit. And I'm happy for your working love life. Genuinely. Although I would like to point out that TMI of yours. If you have any dignity.
Love, gentlemen, blind you from reasoning. You may feel happy now, but things everyone around you notice may not catch your attention until it is too late, perhaps after it's all over. You may look back and think "man, what a fool I was", and regret while looking at your empty wallet and how all the nice seasons that have gone by could have been so much happier had you taken an alternative path. Your friends will only then approach you and tell you how worthless she was. I'm not saying this is what will happen to all couples, I'm saying that downward spirals are hard to stop, and that some women, AND men, often have demands that trespass the reasonable limit. And that is unforgivable. Not to your friends, not to your kids, not to ANYBODY. People who ask great things off you must understand those things come at a price, and must have the courtesy to at least act out their expression of appreciation. Call it etiquette, consideration, respect, acknowledgement, discipline, whatever. And lack of appreciation from your partner, I am sorry to announce, is not very good news. Taking things for granted is the most atrociously undisciplined behaviour in the world.
But maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm missing one of my ex's who used to be very self-dependent, and whom I loved the most for who she was. Maybe I'm being constantly disappointed by girls who are so very dependent on me and who later give up on me for whatever reason. Maybe you guys are right. Maybe. So you may trash about me all you like, infer things abour me, even if you don't know me at all.
On July 23 2013 12:51 spkim1 wrote: Nice guys finish last.
No, but in all seriousness, you should take time to think why you're dating that chick. Is she hot, cute? You like the sex? Are you going to marry her, and if so, will you be happy?
I just want to let you know that she's not gonna change. Ever. The way she is now will be the way she will be until the moment you break-up, divorce, or die.
So if you think she is so oh-my-god-hot/cute and/or if your sexlife is so incredibly amazingly mind-blowing that you don't mind all the stuff she's doing that ticks you off, then you may continue your relationship. Keep in mind that she may be the one asking to break-up in the end, though, so you have more to lose as you two date. Besides, you seem to be the one that is more emotionally committed than her (i.e. she is naturally a less emotional person than you, or, well I hate to break it, but you're more into her)
Little piece of advice, girls who demand a lot are extremely exhausting, and giving her everything she asks will just spoil her. You have to see if she appreciates the small things (in life, and about you, and everything). It's called being mature. Girls who complain a lot have been raised by being pampered like princesses, and you should not give into things like that. Maintain your dignity as a guy.
Being single is actually pretty comfortable, you can do what you want whenever you want wherever you want with whoever you want with giving a single sh*t about anything. Eat, sleep, play games, go clubbing, go drinking and partying without a single care. Your money is yours to spend alone. Sure, you might feel lonely sometimes, but hey, leave emotions at the door, and enjoy the quiet solitude. It's a great life, with lots of freedom, until you find the right girl for you in life.
But hey, if you have a good plan to manage your turbulent relationship in the future, never-mind this comment and go ahead man. I'm sure there are brave/intelligent/tough men out there who can out-think spoiled princesses and make them stick around you and grow fond of you.
For my part, I've had amazing relationship experience before, as well as atrocious ones. The reason I can give you advises like the above is because I've been there, done that, and know where it's headed. You'll do things that tick her off, she'll reciprocate, intentionally or unintentionally, and, well, it's gonna build up until the volcano erupts, and it's the final goodbye. The good relationship experiences I've had before almost never involved any uncomfortableness when together, because it's two mature minds that meet together and appreciate each other.
Last words: think of it a little bit like a Starcraft game; observe what she is doing, and plan ahead for a suitable reaction for the result you want. Turbulent relationships require the use of your head, whether to maintain, or to call gg. The difference will be whether you can save it, prolong your misery/joy, or earn earlier freedom to move on to a better girl.
Over and out.
Jesus dude, let me give you an internet hug.
This is a really negative viewpoint to have with regards to women, or anything really.
Each new woman you meet should be seen as an opportunity for growth or fun or something positive, not an opportunity to not get hurt. I think this is something that you learn after getting hurt enough. You kind of have to make a choice on how to handle the loss. Will you gg or rage quit?
Anyway wcs is back on..
Meh, you're just too innocent to see the obvious cruelty rampaging our society. There is no better alternative than staying safe and protecting yourself. Better keep your guard up !
On a more serious note, though, expanding on this, there really are some important things you have to see when you start dating. Don't be just blinded by a new prospective love-life about to start for you. Observe how the girl is actually reacting ! They are doing the same for you ! If that girl is scrutinizing your behaviour, it's like they're scouting your main and natural expo, and you're blindly playing, thinking you're winning, and cheerfully following your build order while she is preparing to drop the shit out of your expansions.
OK, that was, admittedly, a very poor metaphor. What I mean is that you have to be careful what kind of girl you're dating. Make sure what she asks of you is sensible. Depending on what kind of social position you are in, you have to make sure she reacts in a reasonable and thoughtful way e.g. if you're a student, you both should pay for your dates. If it's 40 degrees Fahrenheit outside and you have to give her your jacket while you only have a t-shirt on, and if she takes it without a word, there's already something going on there. First, she's thoughtless for having not brought something warm on her own. Second, she doesn't CARE whether YOU're cold or not. Hah ! Thanks for the sympathy, gal. But please GTFO my life from now on and never come back. And then she COMPLAINS, ruining the mood ??? If you don't react to that, you're just being dumb. I swear to you there are better alternatives for you out there. Cut out the bullshit and move on.
Yours Sincerely !
You have a very bad view on life and on women in particular, someone hurt you badly and now you're taking it out on every single women you meet. I'm sorry for your loss but you need to open up and just live life.
I happily now have a girl in my life after being single for 3years. Just got done cuddling, fucking, and taking a nap in each others arms.
Yeah yeah, it's nice n' hot n' heavy
OK, I'm sorry, I'll be more polite, or try. BTW, you must feel real mighty and proud for having b... Phew, this is hard. But if you can somehow write a constructive argument that disproves my logic above, instead of accusing my viewpoint on life of pessimism, picturing me as a bitter person, and degrading me by inferring my past experience with women as injuring, my respect for your intelligence might go up a tad bit. And I'm happy for your working love life. Genuinely. Although I would like to point out that TMI of yours. If you have any dignity.
Love, gentlemen, blind you from reasoning. You may feel happy now, but things everyone around you notice may not catch your attention until it is too late, perhaps after it's all over. You may look back and think "man, what a fool I was", and regret while looking at your empty wallet and how all the nice seasons that have gone by could have been so much happier had you taken an alternative path. Your friends will only then approach you and tell you how worthless she was. I'm not saying this is what will happen to all couples, I'm saying that downward spirals are hard to stop, and that some women, AND men, often have demands that trespass the reasonable limit. And that is unforgivable. Not to your friends, not to your kids, not to ANYBODY. People who ask great things off you must understand those things come at a price, and must have the courtesy to at least act out their expression of appreciation. Call it etiquette, consideration, respect, acknowledgement, discipline, whatever. And lack of appreciation from your partner, I am sorry to announce, is not very good news. Taking things for granted is the most atrociously undisciplined behaviour in the world.
But maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm missing one of my ex's who used to be very self-dependent, and whom I loved the most for who she was. Maybe I'm being constantly disappointed by girls who are so very dependent on me and who later give up on me for whatever reason. Maybe you guys are right. Maybe. So you may trash about me all you like, infer things abour me, even if you don't know me at all.
But maybe, just maybe, I'm right, too.
There's not much to say beyond pointing out you have a very pessimistic point of view. If I'm understanding what you're saying, is that relationships can lead you down a path that you will later regret taking due to various reasons.
It sounds like you are just focusing on all the negative possible outcomes of a relationship and are ignoring all the possible good ones. Not all relationships end poorly, and it's on you to look for the good ones. If your partner doesn't appreciate you or is emptying your wallet or whatever, then just end the relationship and move on. There are better options available out there.
You can go through life at a baseline level of happiness or you can take a few risks to enjoy higher peaks, but naturally there will be some pitfalls that can come along with it. I think for most people, the risk of a few pitfalls is worth the peak that came before or will come after it.
On July 23 2013 12:51 spkim1 wrote: Nice guys finish last.
No, but in all seriousness, you should take time to think why you're dating that chick. Is she hot, cute? You like the sex? Are you going to marry her, and if so, will you be happy?
I just want to let you know that she's not gonna change. Ever. The way she is now will be the way she will be until the moment you break-up, divorce, or die.
So if you think she is so oh-my-god-hot/cute and/or if your sexlife is so incredibly amazingly mind-blowing that you don't mind all the stuff she's doing that ticks you off, then you may continue your relationship. Keep in mind that she may be the one asking to break-up in the end, though, so you have more to lose as you two date. Besides, you seem to be the one that is more emotionally committed than her (i.e. she is naturally a less emotional person than you, or, well I hate to break it, but you're more into her)
Little piece of advice, girls who demand a lot are extremely exhausting, and giving her everything she asks will just spoil her. You have to see if she appreciates the small things (in life, and about you, and everything). It's called being mature. Girls who complain a lot have been raised by being pampered like princesses, and you should not give into things like that. Maintain your dignity as a guy.
Being single is actually pretty comfortable, you can do what you want whenever you want wherever you want with whoever you want with giving a single sh*t about anything. Eat, sleep, play games, go clubbing, go drinking and partying without a single care. Your money is yours to spend alone. Sure, you might feel lonely sometimes, but hey, leave emotions at the door, and enjoy the quiet solitude. It's a great life, with lots of freedom, until you find the right girl for you in life.
But hey, if you have a good plan to manage your turbulent relationship in the future, never-mind this comment and go ahead man. I'm sure there are brave/intelligent/tough men out there who can out-think spoiled princesses and make them stick around you and grow fond of you.
For my part, I've had amazing relationship experience before, as well as atrocious ones. The reason I can give you advises like the above is because I've been there, done that, and know where it's headed. You'll do things that tick her off, she'll reciprocate, intentionally or unintentionally, and, well, it's gonna build up until the volcano erupts, and it's the final goodbye. The good relationship experiences I've had before almost never involved any uncomfortableness when together, because it's two mature minds that meet together and appreciate each other.
Last words: think of it a little bit like a Starcraft game; observe what she is doing, and plan ahead for a suitable reaction for the result you want. Turbulent relationships require the use of your head, whether to maintain, or to call gg. The difference will be whether you can save it, prolong your misery/joy, or earn earlier freedom to move on to a better girl.
Over and out.
Jesus dude, let me give you an internet hug.
This is a really negative viewpoint to have with regards to women, or anything really.
Each new woman you meet should be seen as an opportunity for growth or fun or something positive, not an opportunity to not get hurt. I think this is something that you learn after getting hurt enough. You kind of have to make a choice on how to handle the loss. Will you gg or rage quit?
Anyway wcs is back on..
Meh, you're just too innocent to see the obvious cruelty rampaging our society. There is no better alternative than staying safe and protecting yourself. Better keep your guard up !
On a more serious note, though, expanding on this, there really are some important things you have to see when you start dating. Don't be just blinded by a new prospective love-life about to start for you. Observe how the girl is actually reacting ! They are doing the same for you ! If that girl is scrutinizing your behaviour, it's like they're scouting your main and natural expo, and you're blindly playing, thinking you're winning, and cheerfully following your build order while she is preparing to drop the shit out of your expansions.
OK, that was, admittedly, a very poor metaphor. What I mean is that you have to be careful what kind of girl you're dating. Make sure what she asks of you is sensible. Depending on what kind of social position you are in, you have to make sure she reacts in a reasonable and thoughtful way e.g. if you're a student, you both should pay for your dates. If it's 40 degrees Fahrenheit outside and you have to give her your jacket while you only have a t-shirt on, and if she takes it without a word, there's already something going on there. First, she's thoughtless for having not brought something warm on her own. Second, she doesn't CARE whether YOU're cold or not. Hah ! Thanks for the sympathy, gal. But please GTFO my life from now on and never come back. And then she COMPLAINS, ruining the mood ??? If you don't react to that, you're just being dumb. I swear to you there are better alternatives for you out there. Cut out the bullshit and move on.
Yours Sincerely !
You have a very bad view on life and on women in particular, someone hurt you badly and now you're taking it out on every single women you meet. I'm sorry for your loss but you need to open up and just live life.
I happily now have a girl in my life after being single for 3years. Just got done cuddling, fucking, and taking a nap in each others arms.
But maybe, just maybe, I'm right, too.
No you're just wrong and I'm not the only person who sees it.
On July 23 2013 12:51 spkim1 wrote: Nice guys finish last.
No, but in all seriousness, you should take time to think why you're dating that chick. Is she hot, cute? You like the sex? Are you going to marry her, and if so, will you be happy?
I just want to let you know that she's not gonna change. Ever. The way she is now will be the way she will be until the moment you break-up, divorce, or die.
So if you think she is so oh-my-god-hot/cute and/or if your sexlife is so incredibly amazingly mind-blowing that you don't mind all the stuff she's doing that ticks you off, then you may continue your relationship. Keep in mind that she may be the one asking to break-up in the end, though, so you have more to lose as you two date. Besides, you seem to be the one that is more emotionally committed than her (i.e. she is naturally a less emotional person than you, or, well I hate to break it, but you're more into her)
Little piece of advice, girls who demand a lot are extremely exhausting, and giving her everything she asks will just spoil her. You have to see if she appreciates the small things (in life, and about you, and everything). It's called being mature. Girls who complain a lot have been raised by being pampered like princesses, and you should not give into things like that. Maintain your dignity as a guy.
Being single is actually pretty comfortable, you can do what you want whenever you want wherever you want with whoever you want with giving a single sh*t about anything. Eat, sleep, play games, go clubbing, go drinking and partying without a single care. Your money is yours to spend alone. Sure, you might feel lonely sometimes, but hey, leave emotions at the door, and enjoy the quiet solitude. It's a great life, with lots of freedom, until you find the right girl for you in life.
But hey, if you have a good plan to manage your turbulent relationship in the future, never-mind this comment and go ahead man. I'm sure there are brave/intelligent/tough men out there who can out-think spoiled princesses and make them stick around you and grow fond of you.
For my part, I've had amazing relationship experience before, as well as atrocious ones. The reason I can give you advises like the above is because I've been there, done that, and know where it's headed. You'll do things that tick her off, she'll reciprocate, intentionally or unintentionally, and, well, it's gonna build up until the volcano erupts, and it's the final goodbye. The good relationship experiences I've had before almost never involved any uncomfortableness when together, because it's two mature minds that meet together and appreciate each other.
Last words: think of it a little bit like a Starcraft game; observe what she is doing, and plan ahead for a suitable reaction for the result you want. Turbulent relationships require the use of your head, whether to maintain, or to call gg. The difference will be whether you can save it, prolong your misery/joy, or earn earlier freedom to move on to a better girl.
Over and out.
Jesus dude, let me give you an internet hug.
This is a really negative viewpoint to have with regards to women, or anything really.
Each new woman you meet should be seen as an opportunity for growth or fun or something positive, not an opportunity to not get hurt. I think this is something that you learn after getting hurt enough. You kind of have to make a choice on how to handle the loss. Will you gg or rage quit?
Anyway wcs is back on..
Meh, you're just too innocent to see the obvious cruelty rampaging our society. There is no better alternative than staying safe and protecting yourself. Better keep your guard up !
On a more serious note, though, expanding on this, there really are some important things you have to see when you start dating. Don't be just blinded by a new prospective love-life about to start for you. Observe how the girl is actually reacting ! They are doing the same for you ! If that girl is scrutinizing your behaviour, it's like they're scouting your main and natural expo, and you're blindly playing, thinking you're winning, and cheerfully following your build order while she is preparing to drop the shit out of your expansions.
OK, that was, admittedly, a very poor metaphor. What I mean is that you have to be careful what kind of girl you're dating. Make sure what she asks of you is sensible. Depending on what kind of social position you are in, you have to make sure she reacts in a reasonable and thoughtful way e.g. if you're a student, you both should pay for your dates. If it's 40 degrees Fahrenheit outside and you have to give her your jacket while you only have a t-shirt on, and if she takes it without a word, there's already something going on there. First, she's thoughtless for having not brought something warm on her own. Second, she doesn't CARE whether YOU're cold or not. Hah ! Thanks for the sympathy, gal. But please GTFO my life from now on and never come back. And then she COMPLAINS, ruining the mood ??? If you don't react to that, you're just being dumb. I swear to you there are better alternatives for you out there. Cut out the bullshit and move on.
Yours Sincerely !
You have a very bad view on life and on women in particular, someone hurt you badly and now you're taking it out on every single women you meet. I'm sorry for your loss but you need to open up and just live life.
I happily now have a girl in my life after being single for 3years. Just got done cuddling, fucking, and taking a nap in each others arms.
Yeah yeah, it's nice n' hot n' heavy
OK, I'm sorry, I'll be more polite, or try. BTW, you must feel real mighty and proud for having b... Phew, this is hard. But if you can somehow write a constructive argument that disproves my logic above, instead of accusing my viewpoint on life of pessimism, picturing me as a bitter person, and degrading me by inferring my past experience with women as injuring, my respect for your intelligence might go up a tad bit. And I'm happy for your working love life. Genuinely. Although I would like to point out that TMI of yours. If you have any dignity.
Love, gentlemen, blind you from reasoning. You may feel happy now, but things everyone around you notice may not catch your attention until it is too late, perhaps after it's all over. You may look back and think "man, what a fool I was", and regret while looking at your empty wallet and how all the nice seasons that have gone by could have been so much happier had you taken an alternative path. Your friends will only then approach you and tell you how worthless she was. I'm not saying this is what will happen to all couples, I'm saying that downward spirals are hard to stop, and that some women, AND men, often have demands that trespass the reasonable limit. And that is unforgivable. Not to your friends, not to your kids, not to ANYBODY. People who ask great things off you must understand those things come at a price, and must have the courtesy to at least act out their expression of appreciation. Call it etiquette, consideration, respect, acknowledgement, discipline, whatever. And lack of appreciation from your partner, I am sorry to announce, is not very good news. Taking things for granted is the most atrociously undisciplined behaviour in the world.
But maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm missing one of my ex's who used to be very self-dependent, and whom I loved the most for who she was. Maybe I'm being constantly disappointed by girls who are so very dependent on me and who later give up on me for whatever reason. Maybe you guys are right. Maybe. So you may trash about me all you like, infer things abour me, even if you don't know me at all.
But maybe, just maybe, I'm right, too.
I object to this entire block of text, and every block of text previously presented by this user; Not only does he present no experiences or proof as evidence, he shows a clear sexist bias and shows a lack of understanding of relationships to begin with.
Your opening statement was that "Nice Guys finish last". I can honestly say, no nice guys EVER finish last. Nor do they ever use that lame, whiny statement, used exclusively to fuel self-pity and gather the sympathy of others.
Next, you claim that "No girl changes, ever." A rather large generalization, with no room for exceptions. People do change. There are a plethora of examples, even in your life. From this statement it is a logical deduction that you have a thing for self-pity, as well as do not know many "girls", let alone women. The next few blocks are whines and cries. No use in going through them, but they're clearly self-justification for a boy who's not comfortable being single.
You claim that Flip is just "too innocent", and say that our society is cruel. This society is not cruel. You do not know cruel. Your definition of cruel is laughable. I have to wonder what you would think think REAL cruelty is.
Better keep your guard up !
When a two people enter a relationship, both are taking a risk. They risk the rejection of the other. In fact, in order to do ANYTHING worth doing in life, you must take a risk. These risks are not always obvious. To keep your guard up is depriving yourself of the chance of something greater happening. I don't think Flip is "too innocent", as you claim he is. If anything, he's the opposite.
Although I would like to point out that TMI of yours. If you have any dignity.
Look at the thread title. He's not presenting extraneous information, the thread is ABOUT relationships, and presenting one's own experiences as backup is not unheard of or off-topic. It's quite on-topic, actually.
But if you can somehow write a constructive argument that disproves my logic above, instead of accusing my viewpoint on life of pessimism, picturing me as a bitter person, and degrading me by inferring my past experience with women as injuring, my respect for your intelligence might go up a tad bit.
This task is incredibly simple. First off, you have not even made an argument, but I'll play along and act that you have. The fact is, people are different. What you've described will not work for everyone. Some people will like playing chivalrous knight, offering their coat in freezing weather. Some people will enjoy playing sugar daddy and paying for the meal. What works for them, works for them. Your argument works for YOU, not everybody. You say the reward is your "respect" for my intelligence? Hahaha! I don't care about your respect. You're a whiny boy on his computer that opens posts with:
Nice guys finish last.
In your final post, you claim that love blinds reasoning. I would argue that it is not love, but lust that blinds reasoning. For this reason, it is one of the seven deadly sins. As for looking back and thinking only "Oh what a waste! Oh the cruelty! Oh the Huge Manatee!", there is a flipside. The flipside is this: "What can I learn from this experience? How can I improve myself? How can this improve me?"
So Mr. Nobody-Knows-My-Woes, the truth is, it's impossible for you to be "right" as you claim you "might" be. Because there is no "right" answer. There are no rights or wrongs. Relationships and people are not your high-school exit exam. I'll treat your penultimate claim that:
Maybe I'm missing one of my ex's who used to be very self-dependent, and whom I loved the most for who she was. Maybe I'm being constantly disappointed by girls who are so very dependent on me and who later give up on me for whatever reason. Maybe you guys are right. Maybe. So you may trash about me all you like, infer things abour me, even if you don't know me at all.
as a final grab for pity, and treat it as such: Move on. If you don't, you'll remain the same whiny man-child you currently are. It is unnecessary to know a person, physically, to realize things about them, such as your demeanor and immaturity, simply by reading your posts.
I suppose I've given you enough attention, my little man-baby.
Conclustion/TL;DR: OP can't get over ex. Comes to online forums looking for pity. Lashes out when none is received.
Uh, guys, can we please stop insulting people just because we believe they are wrong? There is this tendency in this thread where people think that they are entitled to ridicule everyone that is not saying what the majority thinks.
On July 24 2013 17:24 Broetchenholer wrote: Uh, guys, can we please stop insulting people just because we believe they are wrong? There is this tendency in this thread where people think that they are entitled to ridicule everyone that is not saying what the majority thinks.
Are you talking about the post above you by Basic Basic? That is not insulting. He is spot on with this arguing and I think, although this is the internet, that it possibly even could have a good effect on the OP. He is stuck in self-pity and someone needs to slap him. If noone does it in reallife then maybe that little rant can help.
On July 23 2013 12:51 spkim1 wrote: Nice guys finish last.
No, but in all seriousness, you should take time to think why you're dating that chick. Is she hot, cute? You like the sex? Are you going to marry her, and if so, will you be happy?
I just want to let you know that she's not gonna change. Ever. The way she is now will be the way she will be until the moment you break-up, divorce, or die.
So if you think she is so oh-my-god-hot/cute and/or if your sexlife is so incredibly amazingly mind-blowing that you don't mind all the stuff she's doing that ticks you off, then you may continue your relationship. Keep in mind that she may be the one asking to break-up in the end, though, so you have more to lose as you two date. Besides, you seem to be the one that is more emotionally committed than her (i.e. she is naturally a less emotional person than you, or, well I hate to break it, but you're more into her)
Little piece of advice, girls who demand a lot are extremely exhausting, and giving her everything she asks will just spoil her. You have to see if she appreciates the small things (in life, and about you, and everything). It's called being mature. Girls who complain a lot have been raised by being pampered like princesses, and you should not give into things like that. Maintain your dignity as a guy.
Being single is actually pretty comfortable, you can do what you want whenever you want wherever you want with whoever you want with giving a single sh*t about anything. Eat, sleep, play games, go clubbing, go drinking and partying without a single care. Your money is yours to spend alone. Sure, you might feel lonely sometimes, but hey, leave emotions at the door, and enjoy the quiet solitude. It's a great life, with lots of freedom, until you find the right girl for you in life.
But hey, if you have a good plan to manage your turbulent relationship in the future, never-mind this comment and go ahead man. I'm sure there are brave/intelligent/tough men out there who can out-think spoiled princesses and make them stick around you and grow fond of you.
For my part, I've had amazing relationship experience before, as well as atrocious ones. The reason I can give you advises like the above is because I've been there, done that, and know where it's headed. You'll do things that tick her off, she'll reciprocate, intentionally or unintentionally, and, well, it's gonna build up until the volcano erupts, and it's the final goodbye. The good relationship experiences I've had before almost never involved any uncomfortableness when together, because it's two mature minds that meet together and appreciate each other.
Last words: think of it a little bit like a Starcraft game; observe what she is doing, and plan ahead for a suitable reaction for the result you want. Turbulent relationships require the use of your head, whether to maintain, or to call gg. The difference will be whether you can save it, prolong your misery/joy, or earn earlier freedom to move on to a better girl.
Over and out.
Jesus dude, let me give you an internet hug.
This is a really negative viewpoint to have with regards to women, or anything really.
Each new woman you meet should be seen as an opportunity for growth or fun or something positive, not an opportunity to not get hurt. I think this is something that you learn after getting hurt enough. You kind of have to make a choice on how to handle the loss. Will you gg or rage quit?
Anyway wcs is back on..
Meh, you're just too innocent to see the obvious cruelty rampaging our society. There is no better alternative than staying safe and protecting yourself. Better keep your guard up !
On a more serious note, though, expanding on this, there really are some important things you have to see when you start dating. Don't be just blinded by a new prospective love-life about to start for you. Observe how the girl is actually reacting ! They are doing the same for you ! If that girl is scrutinizing your behaviour, it's like they're scouting your main and natural expo, and you're blindly playing, thinking you're winning, and cheerfully following your build order while she is preparing to drop the shit out of your expansions.
OK, that was, admittedly, a very poor metaphor. What I mean is that you have to be careful what kind of girl you're dating. Make sure what she asks of you is sensible. Depending on what kind of social position you are in, you have to make sure she reacts in a reasonable and thoughtful way e.g. if you're a student, you both should pay for your dates. If it's 40 degrees Fahrenheit outside and you have to give her your jacket while you only have a t-shirt on, and if she takes it without a word, there's already something going on there. First, she's thoughtless for having not brought something warm on her own. Second, she doesn't CARE whether YOU're cold or not. Hah ! Thanks for the sympathy, gal. But please GTFO my life from now on and never come back. And then she COMPLAINS, ruining the mood ??? If you don't react to that, you're just being dumb. I swear to you there are better alternatives for you out there. Cut out the bullshit and move on.
Yours Sincerely !
You have a very bad view on life and on women in particular, someone hurt you badly and now you're taking it out on every single women you meet. I'm sorry for your loss but you need to open up and just live life.
I happily now have a girl in my life after being single for 3years. Just got done cuddling, fucking, and taking a nap in each others arms.
But maybe, just maybe, I'm right, too.
No you're just wrong and I'm not the only person who sees it.
yeah that is an incredibly pessimistic and awful outlook on life and dating. the only thing in any of those posts that is actually worthwhile is that love can blind you to reality of your situation. you just dont realize that your seething hatred of your ex or exes is doing the exact same thing and hurting you going forward. your entire logic is this one ex fucked me over, now every girl is out to fuck me over because theyre all selfish horrible bitches. this reads like something out of a retarded reddit mra subforum.
there is no disproving that because you cant rationalize with ideas that are that stupid and based on your own experiences
i mean for christ's sake, the first post you made here was in response to a dude whose hs girlfriend dumped him before going off to college. and you're telling him she's never ever gonna change. at 18 years old.
EPT
