EPTIt's pretty much stopped now, but she has turned around and said she want's a Chinese man, she is afraid of future problems with me. Often listens to her parents. (I'm white)
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 224
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Azza
China650 Posts
It's pretty much stopped now, but she has turned around and said she want's a Chinese man, she is afraid of future problems with me. Often listens to her parents. (I'm white) | ||
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Shiori
3815 Posts
On July 21 2013 12:14 Azza wrote: My girlfriend used to always answer her ex's daily calls even with my apparant unease. She used to hide or delete call logs. It's pretty much stopped now, but she has turned around and said she want's a Chinese man, she is afraid of future problems with me. Often listens to her parents. (I'm white) Well, honestly, that sounds pretty shitty depending on how serious she is...Listening to her parents being a good thing or a bad thing depends a lot on what her parents are like. | ||
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Zooper31
United States5711 Posts
On July 21 2013 12:17 Shiori wrote: Well, honestly, that sounds pretty shitty depending on how serious she is...Listening to her parents being a good thing or a bad thing depends a lot on what her parents are like. Probably a bad thing because she's being told to only marry in her race. | ||
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IceCube
Croatia1403 Posts
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docvoc
United States5491 Posts
On July 21 2013 11:27 Wombat_NI wrote: Talking about exes can be fun if you have some psychos with some anecdotes that are entertaining. It's a bit simplistic, but generally the ex thing is only a red flag early on if you make it apparent you're still pining for them in some way. In my case I have an ex who has long since transitioned into the friendzone, and since then took time out of her busy life doing vetinary medicine over in Budapest to Skype my spirits up after my dad died. She did a better job of helping me deal with it than pretty much anyone else, for which I'm eternally grateful. In that case I'll see her when she's back, and explain who she is to a current partner, with the added context. Haven't had any issues with it and tbh if there were I'd be inclined to decide the girl isn't worth it. Wombat, haven't seen you in a while :O. Also, yeah talking about exes is bad news imo until it comes up naturally much later on. If someone talks about them like a month or two into dating, then fine, whatever. If they are talking about them early on it either means they aren't ready to move on or they don't want to move on. That's my opinion though. | ||
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Basic Basic
Tuvalu52 Posts
Generally, I don't really want to know or care. I don't want to be compared to some meathead I don't know. It's just annoying. Not a dealbreaker, but certainly annoying. | ||
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Ambre
France416 Posts
I would like to know your opinions on something. I have been "friend" with a girl that I met at the University for about 2 years. When I say "friend", you have to understand that I really was into her, but at the time she had a boyfriend. Then, she went away in a foreign country to study. This summer she is back in France, and we are going to see each other for the first time since Jannuary. She broke up with her boyfriend in last november. Now, here is the thing : in a couple of hours we are going to eat a nice restaurant and then to the movie. We are supposed to be just friends. Also, she knows that I am in a relationship right now. I am not even sure what my intents are... except having a good time with someone I genuinely like and feel close to. Here is my question : do you guys think it's okay for a guy to eat lunch + movie (in the afternoon) with a girl who is not his g/f ? What do you personnaly think about this ? | ||
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Broetchenholer
Germany1954 Posts
On July 21 2013 17:18 Ambre wrote: Hello gentlemen, I would like to know your opinions on something. I have been "friend" with a girl that I met at the University for about 2 years. When I say "friend", you have to understand that I really was into her, but at the time she had a boyfriend. Then, she went away in a foreign country to study. This summer she is back in France, and we are going to see each other for the first time since Jannuary. She broke up with her boyfriend in last november. Now, here is the thing : in a couple of hours we are going to eat a nice restaurant and then to the movie. We are supposed to be just friends. Also, she knows that I am in a relationship right now. I am not even sure what my intents are... except having a good time with someone I genuinely like and feel close to. Here is my question : do you guys think it's okay for a guy to eat lunch + movie (in the afternoon) with a girl who is not his g/f ? What do you personnaly think about this ? Of course this is okay. Tell your gf what you do, and go ahead. You are spending time with a friend and as long as you really want to be just firends, it's like playing billiard with your pals. | ||
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kuriz
Denmark141 Posts
So this is my question that hopefully some of you will try to give me some advice on: what is some good ways to approach and write these girls that I first see a picture of that makes me interested and then (hopefully) read a profile text from that is even interesting and make up for some conversation? Even though I'm only in Silver league I hope that somebody can give me some advice on this matter, thanks! | ||
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WombaT
Northern Ireland26360 Posts
On July 21 2013 13:33 docvoc wrote: Wombat, haven't seen you in a while :O. Also, yeah talking about exes is bad news imo until it comes up naturally much later on. If someone talks about them like a month or two into dating, then fine, whatever. If they are talking about them early on it either means they aren't ready to move on or they don't want to move on. That's my opinion though. Yeah I've been a busy beaver of late alas. Pretty much agreed with you on that, there's plenty of other things to talk about other than exes | ||
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Meow-Meow
Germany451 Posts
On July 21 2013 02:57 Najda wrote: I would think being a temp would increase your chance because there is less of a worry about inner office relations. I would say pursue it; who knows, maybe she has similar humor as you and was wishing she could dick around in the temp office too Not sure if you guys offer well meaning advice or want to hear about my additional failure.  Perhaps I should go for it, she doesn't seem like the person who'd be interested in me, but she seemed nice enough to let me off the hook easily, so the worst case scenario is getting a polite rejection. | ||
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Meow-Meow
Germany451 Posts
On July 21 2013 21:06 kuriz wrote: With more than 224 pages there are no chance that netdating hasn't been commented or being a topic of discussion in this thread. The case is that I just made an internet dating profile and I am looking to hear some suggestions and/or good ideas on how to approach this media. I am a fairly good looking guy that often get told that I am funny and comfortable being around. My main issue is that I have some pretty serious anxiety to approach girls/women (in my 23 year old life I don't recall ever actually going over to a girl to say hi, one of them have always approached me - this might sound al right, but it surely isn't making me an better at getting to be better approaching girls). And this is the reason for this dating profile. I have currently taken a few good photos of myself, made a humorous yet serious profile text and have been writing to different girls trying to mainly comment on what they say about themselves; I have done this in a (to me) humorous and positive tone yet nobody seem to be really interested. Good to see you fail. Okay, that sounded wrong, I mean: it's comforting to see that even a self-proclaimed good-looking dude doesn't land in a barrel full of tits on his first foray into online-dating. I've always considered that shit, but I'm not good with photo-shop, don't have any decent photos and on paper am rather sub-average, so I don't see how o-dating would be a valuable option. | ||
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levelping
Singapore759 Posts
On July 21 2013 21:19 Meow-Meow wrote: Good to see you fail. Okay, that sounded wrong, I mean: it's comforting to see that even a self-proclaimed good-looking dude doesn't land in a barrel full of tits on his first foray into online-dating. I've always considered that shit, but I'm not good with photo-shop, don't have any decent photos and on paper am rather sub-average, so I don't see how o-dating would be a valuable option. come on that was not necessary. @ Kuriz, Online dating, like normal dating, takes time. You've already covered the main points by putting photos and a good write up. You just need to understand that these sites are incredibly over subscribed by guys and so each girl you message is probably receiving a ton of messages from other guys too. So what you need to do si make sure that your message stands out - take risks and say things which you ordinarily think would be ridiculous. The normal pleasantries and nice stuff can wait till after you have gotten her attention. | ||
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kuriz
Denmark141 Posts
On July 21 2013 21:19 Meow-Meow wrote: Good to see you fail. Okay, that sounded wrong, I mean: it's comforting to see that even a self-proclaimed good-looking dude doesn't land in a barrel full of tits on his first foray into online-dating. I've always considered that shit, but I'm not good with photo-shop, don't have any decent photos and on paper am rather sub-average, so I don't see how o-dating would be a valuable option. That wasn't very nice! But I see your point. I actually uploaded a picture of myself to the Gay Starcraft Players thread (page 340 if you're interested: this is not intended to be a douchebag comment it's just so that you have an idea and make up for yourself if I'm one of those self-proclaimed good looking guys) in another matter and they seemed to agree about my appearance so I guess it's not all wrong. To me its the anxiety of going over and say hi to the girl that frustrates me the most and this is made some what easier when all I can see is a picture, get some actual information about the girl I am contacting and generally having the "security" of my lovely keyboard below my fingers and time to write something that I personally find interesting and funny. I can to some extent see why you don't think it would be a valuable option but I think you're wrong. No need to work with photoshop (what I realize right now is how often some of these girls put their 10/10 picture as their profile and then when you look at their other pictures they doesn't even remotely look like that, I mean, what's the good idea behind that if you can't "stand up" for the first impression that the profile pictures gives?). This might be me being too very theoretical about things, but I actually think that internet dating is very well suited for what you would describe as "sub-average" looking guys because it gives you a platform to present yourself properly and tell who you are and what your interests are so that it's much easier for a potential interest to become interested. | ||
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docvoc
United States5491 Posts
On July 21 2013 21:28 levelping wrote: come on that was not necessary. @ Kuriz, Online dating, like normal dating, takes time. You've already covered the main points by putting photos and a good write up. You just need to understand that these sites are incredibly over subscribed by guys and so each girl you message is probably receiving a ton of messages from other guys too. So what you need to do si make sure that your message stands out - take risks and say things which you ordinarily think would be ridiculous. The normal pleasantries and nice stuff can wait till after you have gotten her attention. The big issue with online dating when it comes to young people like this is that it is a crutch. Instead of actually talking to girls and being social, which is helpful for pretty much all social situations where males aren't the only people present (i.e. all modern gatherings outside of gentlemen's clubs), it puts up a barrier between you and the other person. That is my big issue with it. It's like wearing a veil while you talk to someone IRL, you don't really know what they are like since they have forever and a half to think of things to say, do, etc. I'd suggest working on your real life social interactions with women while using online dating. In regards to not being able to find a girl, yeah, you gotta give it time. Time is your biggest asset in online dating. | ||
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Meow-Meow
Germany451 Posts
On July 21 2013 21:38 kuriz wrote: That wasn't very nice! But I see your point. I actually uploaded a picture of myself to the Gay Starcraft Players thread (page 340 if you're interested: this is not intended to be a douchebag comment it's just so that you have an idea and make up for yourself if I'm one of those self-proclaimed good looking guys) in another matter and they seemed to agree about my appearance so I guess it's not all wrong. Sorry man, I didn't mean to imply that I want you to fail, no you're not really good looking. It's just that I assume that guys like you have the easiest of times of getting girls, so it's comforting to see that you have to put in at least some effort. | ||
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Shiori
3815 Posts
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kuriz
Denmark141 Posts
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QuanticHawk
United States32130 Posts
On July 21 2013 21:06 kuriz wrote: So this is my question that hopefully some of you will try to give me some advice on: what is some good ways to approach and write these girls that I first see a picture of that makes me interested and then (hopefully) read a profile text from that is even interesting and make up for some conversation? On July 21 2013 21:38 kuriz wrote: I actually uploaded a picture of myself to the Gay Starcraft Players thread (page 340 if you're interested:...) I have located the source of your problem but if you want a real answer, post profile copy and some messages or convos you send out On July 21 2013 17:18 Ambre wrote: Here is my question : do you guys think it's okay for a guy to eat lunch + movie (in the afternoon) with a girl who is not his g/f ? What do you personnaly think about this ? of course it is, so long as the dude doesnt have a thing for said girl so in your instance, no | ||
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Shiori
3815 Posts
On July 22 2013 02:07 QuanticHawk wrote: of course it is, so long as the dude doesnt have a thing for said girl so in your instance, no This. However, you should find out your gf's position on the matter. Not because she has any right to stop you from making this kind of decision, but because if she were to have problems with this kind of thing, you're setting yourself up for trouble in the long run. You should probably find out if your gf thinks this kind of thing is fine; if she has a problem with it, I'd break up with her. No equal relationship requires one person not to have friends of the opposite sex. | ||
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