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Me and my best friend in the 8th grade. I'm the blonde and he's the mexican, we have both lost much weight since then. We'll never laugh like we did that night again.
How is someone supposed to feel after the death of a loved one?
Can I honestly say I loved him any less than a family member? Than my sister?
Leukemia is a terrible thing
17 years old, life hasn't even started. How can it end so soon?
Around 6:45 pm, I decided to log on X-Fire to tell my best friend, Ivan Aleman, about a good deal I found on the graphics card he was looking for. My internet disconnected, and I figured I would tell him later. Roughly 10 minutes later I get a call.
"Hello"
"Hi may I speak to Chris' mother?"
"This is Chris, may I ask who is calling?"
"This is Ivan's mother."
"Oh, sure hold on. how are you by the way?"
"I'm good, how are you"
"Fine, thanks."
I gave my mother the phone, returned to the office, and continued to fret over fantasy proleague. Just around the time the choice between Tazza and BoxeR was giving me a headache I heard one sentence from the living room.
"When is the memorial service?"
Immediately I dropped the razer mouse that I'm not good enough to own and walked into the hallway. Seconds later my mom comes out crying and tells me, "Ivan died yesterday."
I felt so shocked that my entire body went numb. I couldn't cry, smile, or emote at all. All emotion immediately vanished from my body as if it were hiding from the immense mourning that would soon after pour forth.
She gave me the directions/date of the memorial service, it would be my job to invite people to it.
I came back and logged on IRC.
<DoctorHelvetica> my best friend just died of cancer
<DoctorHelvetica> ;_;
<Kenn[WCGGamer]> oh :\
<Kenn[WCGGamer]> im really sorry
<DoctorHelvetica> ...
<DoctorHelvetica> yeah
<+SayaSP> oh fuck
<+SayaSP> that sucks
<+SayaSP> man
<LeperKahn>  Sorry DoctorHelvetica
<Abydos1> T_T
<DoctorHelvetica> afk for a bit
I told all of my friends on MSN who knew him, called my girlfriend to tell her the news, and went to go sit outside (she had told me she would come to visit me quickly).
When my girlfriend arrived I gave a soliloquy about his life and my life, my emotions on the loss.
And now I'm back, needing even more catharsis.
_________________________________________________________________
Ivan Aleman was one of the best friends you could ever ask for. He was loyal, but not stupid enough to have your back when you didn't deserve it. Most of all we had just enough in common to foster the kind of relationship that is difficult to describe in words, but it was cemented. Unbreakable.
We met in 8th grade. One of my friends in English class dragged me along to the schools Dungeons and Dragons club. I met Ivan there. He immediately struck me as someone who I shared interests with, who could show me things that I would love that I had never seen before, someone I could share things with. So I sat next to him, and our friendship took off like a rocket.
I saw my first pornographic film on his laptop at 1 am. I broke my first bone while fighting with wooden swords in my backyard. I hit him so hard in the nuts with a lightsaber he had to go to the school nurse, this was during a school dance.
I had never cried in front of a friend before, until I met Ivan. I had never hugged another male before, until I met Ivan. I had never met anyone who understood me without having to know anything about my life, until I met Ivan.
We would talk for hours on the phone about our lives, how we were never successful with girls, our contempt for bullies and jocks. We gloated together about our intelligence and precociousness, we laughed together while watching silly comedians on youtube, and we cried together when we felt that we had no one in our lives who really believed in us. When we felt the pressure around us was too great, and we could never live up to the standards.
All the standard high school bullshit.
And I'm going to be the one who lives to change, mature, and grow as a person.
I'm much more of an asshole than him.
There have been times when I teased him when he didn't deserve it, even though I really loved him.
When he left my school for some private school on a college campus, I was so hurt that I couldn't stand to talk to him. I replaced him.
When I found out he had leukemia I changed. I visited him as much as possible for a while.
When he told me his cancer was going into remission I stopped visiting so much.
When I last visited him, it was a week before he died of a blood infection, and he looked healthier than he did before he got sick.
When I heard the news I couldn't think of anything except how much I deserved it more than him.
When I realized that, all I could think about is how much he cared for his friends, and how little he knew that his friends cared for him.
Without hesitation I would visit him at 2 in the morning to help him with anything he needed
Without seeing eachother for months, our bond was still as strong as ever.
R.I.P Ivan Aleman, although few had gotten to know you, you will be sorely missed.
 
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sorry to hear about your friend man.
sounds like he was really close to u
u have my condolences
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i'm sorry for your loss. i can't even imagine what it would be like to lose a best friend
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That really sucks man.. I'm sorry for your loss. That was a sick and disgusting coincidence on how you found out...
be strong~
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Wow....I can't even imagine that. I am really sorry
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crap.
You almost gave me tears right there, It's a sad thing to lose a loved one. And it seems like he was one of those friends, you met once in your life, and you can't replace them, he's like one of a kind.
Sorry man, I hope he rests in peace, and I wish the best for you, and his family.
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sorry for your loss. i dont want to have to experience it.
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Wow, i'm pretty much in tears. I'm sorry man.
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reading this made me shed a couple tears, he seemed like a great guy and an even better friend. Sorry for your loss and may he rest in peace.
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I don't even know what to say. I'm deeply sorry for your loss and hope you can stand strong and make it through this. It's tough when someone that close to you dies... I wish you the best on working through this and hope you can cope with it soon.
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Cancer age 17 that so much sucks. Feel bad for your loss.
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That sucks man. I lost my Dad 8 months ago or so to a car accident so I can understand how you feel. The situation is really shitty when the death isn't @ a normal time. You have my condolences as well.
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My deepest consolation.
Best of luck in living the life you and Ivan dreamed of together.
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im sorry man, RIP to him. youre a good friend.
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Condolences, he wouldn't want you to suffer over him, I've had plenty of death in my life, and I came to realize to really love every bit of your life no matter how low it gets. Don't hold anything back, the year is gonna be hell, but in the end you'll get through it and cherish the gifts left behind.
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Death sucks and hard to get over. My condolences, and know as someone who has lost a lot in life, time heals all, it'll suck to start but it'll get better over time. RIP
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That's brutal man. That kind of bond is a special thing. Don't beat yourself up over it; no one would want their best friend kicking himself at a time like this. Take care, and may he rest in peace.
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That's really sad man. Holy shit. I can't imagine how painful it would be for me if MY best friend died. My condolences to you my friend.
+ Show Spoiler +btw are you guys in the band room in that photo? You guys band kids? lol (hey I am too)
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Sorry about your loss, so heartbreaking to lose someone like that.
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I don't know what to say...if I lost my best friend I seriously would not know what to do.....
RIP Ivan.
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On January 13 2009 12:53 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
I saw my first pornographic film on his laptop at 1 am. I broke my first bone while fighting with wooden swords in my backyard. I hit him so hard in the nuts with a lightsaber he had to go to the school nurse, this was during a school dance.
A true friend indeed. Remember the good times, and be thankful for them, as I'm sure you am. It gets easier, even if you don't think it will.
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I'm sorry for your loss . May Ivan rest in peace.
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I lost my best friend in high school too (9th grade)
It sucks.
Don't worry though, it will get better. Just remember the good times.
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thanks for the support everyone
;__;
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Sorry for your loss, buddy. Lost my best friend back in 2005, and it was by far the most difficult moment in my life. It gets better though, you'll be alright, just try to keep your spirits up.
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3861 Posts
That picture really speaks volumes. I'm so sorry about your loss.
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It's difficult to lose such a close friend at a young age. I'm very sorry for your loss.
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Now you'll have to become a successful human or he'll mock you in the afterlife.
Honestly I couldn't imagine losing my friend, and so harsh on your age... Be courageous!
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My condolences go out to you. It must be hard to lose someone close to you at such a young age.
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i am so very sorry to hear of your loss
i can't imagine losing my best friend, i would be utterly devastated.
i'm without words. my condolences.
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Netherlands19129 Posts
RIP, luckily im personally pretty much a stranger to this kind of loss.
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I'm very sorry. Cancer is brutal, and it's even more tragic at this age. Don't fret though, as that helps nobody. Try to cheer up and live your life to the fullest.
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oh wow man, things like that should not happen , 17 is way way way too young, a friendship like that is a special bond that cannot be broken, and i know that if i lost my friend like that, i would feel like half of me is gone.
I dont know what else to say, and i like to give you this song :
+ Show Spoiler + I had a friend many years ago One tragic night he died The saddest time of my life For weeks and weeks I cried Through the anger and through the tears I've felt his spirit through the years I'd swear, He's watching me Guiding me through hard times I feel it once again It's overwhelming me His spirit's like the winds The angel guarding me Oh, I know, oh, I know He's watching over me Oh, I know, oh, I know He's watching over me We shared dreams like all best friends Blood brothers at the age of ten We lived reckless, he paid the price But why? Why did he have to die? It still hurts me to this day Am I selfish for feeling this way? I know he's an angel now Together we'll be someday I feel it once again It's overwhelming me His spirit's like the wind The angel guarding me Oh, I know, oh, I know He's watching over me Oh, I know, oh, I know He's watching over me
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Here are some verses out of the word of God that may bring some comfort in this time of great hardship. God honours the humble and those who are lowly and broken infinitely more than those who are proud of heart. May he be with you and all others affected.
Psalms 34:18
"The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart: and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit."
Matthew 5:4
"Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted."
II Corinthians 1:3-4
"Blessed be God, even the Father of our LORD Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort:"
"Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."
Jesus - Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart:
and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
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Rip.
Good luck and be strong.
Cancer is the most horrible thing in the whole universe. I feel bad for all the kids it kills. So unfair to die when you are 17.
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That's so awful I can't even begin to think imagine it.
R.I.P.
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Man, I remember the time when we argued about the katana v.s the longsword for 2 hours. He watched too much anime and thought the katana had some kind of superpowers or something.
And the time we were playing Dungeons and Dragons and he bitched for a long time because of some stupid thing that happened in-game that I don't even remember (he got hit by an arrow or something).
Or the time when after my step-dad yelled at me, told me I was a worthless piece of shit, that he would knock me out and hurt me if I was even worth it, he was the only person who could cheer me up.
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similar thing happened to me, it fades with time but i like to try think of it that his future and achievements which he would have done, would have been somehow fallen on me. it motivates me when i have nothing left, forces me to be better for having met him. Means he would have made an impact on life and be remembered by me and through who i am.
probably wont check this thread but wish u the best of luck. you got to know in an easy way than me.
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best wishes
beautiful post
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I heard this song on the radio today and I thought about this blog
+ Show Spoiler +http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wQAg9F6NEA
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MY condolences; that was beautiful. You are a good friend.
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United States11637 Posts
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Damn, sucks to hear that dude, hope it doesnt turn any worse..
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beautiful, beautiful OP
my condolences :[
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i'm really sorry for you.
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So sorry for you loss
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I went to that school with Ivan. He was a a great guy, a little weird at sometimes, but a great guy. He was not quick to judge, and was always a nice guy.
I remember he used to walk around with a handful of straws, i never really found out why haha. He will be missed by all at the San Diego Met. and are lucky to have known him. I am really sorry for your loss and i know he will be greatly missed be everyone who knew him.
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Sorry for your loss. From your posts on this forum, you seem like a genuinely nice guy and a fun person, so I'm sure you were a good friend too.
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On January 15 2009 12:18 Boomshnickle wrote:
I went to that school with Ivan. He was a a great guy, a little weird at sometimes, but a great guy. He was not quick to judge, and was always a nice guy.
I remember he used to walk around with a handful of straws, i never really found out why haha. He will be missed by all at the San Diego Met. and are lucky to have known him. I am really sorry for your loss and i know he will be greatly missed be everyone who knew him.
You went with him to the met?
Are you going to the service? If you want to go I'll PM you the directions.
Is it an odd coincidence that you joined TL today, or were you aware of this blog somehow?
btw, the straws were a 'catalyst to his imagination'. They helped him visualize his thoughts. From 7th up to 10th grade he used pencils instead. He switched to straws near the end of 10th grade.
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Yeah, That would be great.
I actually just joined today after reading your post.
I really did not get to see him much because he was in and out of the hospital.
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United States1654 Posts
I'm sorry for your loss. I also lost one of my best friends recently, and all I can tell you is to stay strong and to always treasure your memories of him in your heart.
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my cat just died
not the same thing but
yeah
loss sucks
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My deepest condolences.
May he rest in peace.
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His service today was the hardest thing I've ever been through.
Seeing the corpse of your best friend, bloated and grey is not an eperience I recommend. But the catharsis was worth it.
I hadn't cried in 8 years, but I couldn't stop sobbing.
;_;, now I guess I can move on...
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sorry
At least you knew he had cancer.....but thinking he was over it only to hear this news might be even worse.
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On January 13 2009 12:53 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
I saw my first pornographic film on his laptop at 1 am.
How touching.
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On January 21 2009 01:08 qrs wrote:Show nested quote +On January 13 2009 12:53 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
I saw my first pornographic film on his laptop at 1 am. How touching.
... I don't know whether to take this as a sarcastic remark and to tell you to blow it out of your ass or just just try to see if you were being serious.
Either way, sorry about this man ;( This is something that is very hard to get over. I know how it feels too :\
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I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you're going through; my best friends are like my brothers too.
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Physician
United States4146 Posts
Mi pesame. Tu carnal te espera en el cielo; pero tomate tu tiempo, que el ya esta tranquilo.
+ Show Spoiler +my condolences. ur bro is up there waiting for u, but take ur time, for he is at peace
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EPT![[image loading]](http://www.teamliquid.net/staff/DoctorHelvetica/l_4681daa6e4ab2db813bfd00ce1.jpg)
