EPT![[image loading]](http://www.teamliquid.net/staff/DoctorHelvetica/l_4681daa6e4ab2db813bfd00ce1.jpg)
Me and my best friend in the 8th grade. I'm the blonde and he's the mexican, we have both lost much weight since then. We'll never laugh like we did that night again.
How is someone supposed to feel after the death of a loved one?
Can I honestly say I loved him any less than a family member? Than my sister?
Leukemia is a terrible thing
17 years old, life hasn't even started. How can it end so soon?
Around 6:45 pm, I decided to log on X-Fire to tell my best friend, Ivan Aleman, about a good deal I found on the graphics card he was looking for. My internet disconnected, and I figured I would tell him later. Roughly 10 minutes later I get a call.
"Hello"
"Hi may I speak to Chris' mother?"
"This is Chris, may I ask who is calling?"
"This is Ivan's mother."
"Oh, sure hold on. how are you by the way?"
"I'm good, how are you"
"Fine, thanks."
I gave my mother the phone, returned to the office, and continued to fret over fantasy proleague. Just around the time the choice between Tazza and BoxeR was giving me a headache I heard one sentence from the living room.
"When is the memorial service?"
Immediately I dropped the razer mouse that I'm not good enough to own and walked into the hallway. Seconds later my mom comes out crying and tells me, "Ivan died yesterday."
I felt so shocked that my entire body went numb. I couldn't cry, smile, or emote at all. All emotion immediately vanished from my body as if it were hiding from the immense mourning that would soon after pour forth.
She gave me the directions/date of the memorial service, it would be my job to invite people to it.
I came back and logged on IRC.
<DoctorHelvetica> my best friend just died of cancer
<DoctorHelvetica> ;_;
<Kenn[WCGGamer]> oh :\
<Kenn[WCGGamer]> im really sorry
<DoctorHelvetica> ...
<DoctorHelvetica> yeah
<+SayaSP> oh fuck
<+SayaSP> that sucks
<+SayaSP> man
<LeperKahn>
Sorry DoctorHelvetica<Abydos1> T_T
<DoctorHelvetica> afk for a bit
I told all of my friends on MSN who knew him, called my girlfriend to tell her the news, and went to go sit outside (she had told me she would come to visit me quickly).
When my girlfriend arrived I gave a soliloquy about his life and my life, my emotions on the loss.
And now I'm back, needing even more catharsis.
_________________________________________________________________
Ivan Aleman was one of the best friends you could ever ask for. He was loyal, but not stupid enough to have your back when you didn't deserve it. Most of all we had just enough in common to foster the kind of relationship that is difficult to describe in words, but it was cemented. Unbreakable.
We met in 8th grade. One of my friends in English class dragged me along to the schools Dungeons and Dragons club. I met Ivan there. He immediately struck me as someone who I shared interests with, who could show me things that I would love that I had never seen before, someone I could share things with. So I sat next to him, and our friendship took off like a rocket.
I saw my first pornographic film on his laptop at 1 am. I broke my first bone while fighting with wooden swords in my backyard. I hit him so hard in the nuts with a lightsaber he had to go to the school nurse, this was during a school dance.
I had never cried in front of a friend before, until I met Ivan. I had never hugged another male before, until I met Ivan. I had never met anyone who understood me without having to know anything about my life, until I met Ivan.
We would talk for hours on the phone about our lives, how we were never successful with girls, our contempt for bullies and jocks. We gloated together about our intelligence and precociousness, we laughed together while watching silly comedians on youtube, and we cried together when we felt that we had no one in our lives who really believed in us. When we felt the pressure around us was too great, and we could never live up to the standards.
All the standard high school bullshit.
And I'm going to be the one who lives to change, mature, and grow as a person.
I'm much more of an asshole than him.
There have been times when I teased him when he didn't deserve it, even though I really loved him.
When he left my school for some private school on a college campus, I was so hurt that I couldn't stand to talk to him. I replaced him.
When I found out he had leukemia I changed. I visited him as much as possible for a while.
When he told me his cancer was going into remission I stopped visiting so much.
When I last visited him, it was a week before he died of a blood infection, and he looked healthier than he did before he got sick.
When I heard the news I couldn't think of anything except how much I deserved it more than him.
When I realized that, all I could think about is how much he cared for his friends, and how little he knew that his friends cared for him.
Without hesitation I would visit him at 2 in the morning to help him with anything he needed
Without seeing eachother for months, our bond was still as strong as ever.
R.I.P Ivan Aleman, although few had gotten to know you, you will be sorely missed.
