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Still hanging in limbo, dunno if I will lose my tutoring job or not because I was messing around too much in my tutoring sessions. Sometimes a bit too harsh on my tutees, telling them if they don't start working hard and try to understand the materials they'll fail their midterm. That is entirely my fault, and I already met with my supervisor once to talk about it, and I was getting so much better, being more patient and encouraging since then. But good time did not last long.
All too soon I ran into what I thought was a club meeting, goofed around in it until some angry lady told me that it is actually a class not a club and shooed me away, she then complained to my supervisor, "Your tutor was disturbing my seminar session and hurting my student's feelings". I wasn't even on shift, I wasn't even in my uniform. She found out I was a math tutor by snooping around the academic service center which I worked, and which she saw me hang out... As to "hurting students feeling" it was an offhand remark to her students, when she gave a direction to her students that "You can only work on this one thing and no freestyle", to which I remarked "Man she's making all of u factory monkeys" jokingly. Apparently according to her, that joke hurt the student's feelings somehow...
Anyways my supervisor and I had a deep talk, and he explained to me that he has to talk to his supervisor about my situation, and that he understands I'm an excellent tutor, and that he does like me personally, but on a professional level, I might not be suitable for the job. He also told me that it is possible that I might be released from the position(somehow an ironic "freedom" in this context). Since then I have not been able to tutor, because they put a temporary suspension on my position until they settled my case, and I was deemed too "dangerous" and "risky" to continue my job. So I was effectively disabled for 2 weeks straight.
Job, no Job, doesn't matter. There's this co-worker who worked with me, who I feel fond of. I met her last year, during the first week of school. There was a ballroom seminar which we both went, and which we danced together. I felt, at that time, of all the girls I danced with, she felt the most comfortable, that there's something "just right" when I danced with her, and with non else. And that my body would heat like fire each time I hold her close. I asked her if she would consider joining the team, but she said maybe not, because she also wanted to be in choir. She also told me at some point, but not particularly pointing out, that she already has a boyfriend. I felt sad, but not hopeless then... After that I never seen her again for the longest time, only sometimes I would see her on the streets, in passing, and I would wave ceremoniously, and she would beam back. I danced w/ her a little bit when I ran into her in one of the proms, which was fairly awesome.
You could imagine how happy I was when I went to a tutoring meeting one day, and found out that out of 4 new math tutor we hired, there she was. I was so happy happy, and my bones tingled with fuzzy feelings. I sat next to her and made car out of m&m and m&m bags, and bunch of interesting geometric shapes, I guess that's the only way I show affections. Since then I've been on very good terms with her, showing her interesting theorems and proofs, puzzles and games, and she liked them. It is not common for girls to enjoy those, but she seems impressed and interested, and I spent prolonged minutes starring at her when we're together, she doesn't seem to mind. In tutor meetings I would save a seat on my side, and she would sit next to me when she comes...
Before I was suspended from my job, I had a shift with her which is more than I could ever asked for. However, I still show up to my shifts, after I was suspended, just to see her and talk to her, and help her out when she gets stumped at some hard questions. I would jokingly say to her "You sure you're not confusing them?" and she would say "I hope not" and smile. I have not told her my job situation, and she only knows that I'm not on shift, that I am "taking a break", apparently for over 2 weeks...
I met with my supervisor last Thursday, and he told me he would get back to me about my employment status asap, which is before this Wednesday, which he would be going on vacation. So either way I would found out about my situation by this Wednesday, either fired or not. Feeling that my time is running short, I thought to myself, that it is about time for me to tell her how I feel, before I am fired, before it would be a long long time until I would have a good excuse to be close to her. I walked her out of the tutoring room, like how I normally do. She called her boyfriend, where she put most of her stuff at his place, like how she normally does "Hey I'm done." And I told her, that it is possible that I might be fired. She went "What why?" And I explained, and I said that is is my fault for making the student feel bad, but I think the second incident with the seminar was just bad luck.
"Why are you here then? Isn't it so far to walk from where you live?" She asked me. I cannot dodge, I probably planned this conversation 12321321 times inside my brain, what I should tell her, what information I should get across, and how I might feel, and always sporting an embarrassing smile when I thought of it. There was no smile then, only a self-bemusing grimace and a chuckle, "I suppose, because I want to see you."
There was silence.
No, not the thick dead silence, not the sad heavy silence. It was a cool clear silence, chilling out in the autumn wind with falling leaves. I could not make out her expressions, it was dark, but I feel she's starring at me closely, slightly bent forward and stooped in my direction, her hairs draping down from her head like rains. There was something close to comfortable, I did not feel nervous, only an urge to tell her exactly what's on my mind, and so I said, "Everything just felt right with you, like when we danced in ballroom, it's just you who felt right, like no other girls, they don't feel the same... I was sad when you didn't continue to dance then." "I'm sorry, yeah, no time..." "No no it's fine, I just had to say it. But don't worry about it too much, it is a very respectful and kind feeling, don't think about it too much... I'm sorry." Silence again. "Well, I better get back to my stuffs downstairs then..." I said, don't want to be seen by her boyfriend, now that I got my points across. "Yeah, good luck on your midterms!" She said. "Thanks." I smiled briefly, and stepped back down the stairs to the service center.
Half sad that things should be this way, half happy that I finally told her what's on my mind, and a third of feelings that I do not understand nor tried to, that makes the feeling more than what I could feel for... Singing in the light breeze on the way back, relieved and sad, slightly frustrating and making fun at myself for it, whistling a Spanish tune that I cannot decide if it is happy or sad, yet definitely not neutral.
 
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Niceeeeee. Better to confess. Feels good. Give her 2 months then tap that.
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United States20661 Posts
FIGHTING~
You'll have to introduce me sometime sir
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Wow, nice! You got balls, Evan. You really did the right thing.
Will you tell us how it turned out?
I mean does she feels the same to you? Or you gotta move on and seek another girl?
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You did the right thing, no doubt about it.
She'll end up with you in no time...
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evanthebouncy! delivers babies
+125 exp
+1 respect
+1 man-toss hug
Next level: 50 exp
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On November 03 2008 19:59 grobo wrote:
You did the right thing, no doubt about it.
She'll end up with you in no time...
:D
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Heh, you put yourself across as such a child in the first few paragraphs it made me cringe.
Then all of a sudden you grow up and do something pretty brave in a sensible way.
It's all right to still be child at heart though, I know my dad is. ;D
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Heh, I had plenty of this over the summer... Really does make you feel refreshed. A bit sad story, but it didn't end up horribly. Good choice, imo.
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Awesome, I wish I had the perfect situations to tell girls that. I've had some pretty lame things happen, like getting rejected or being ignored, and ditched with some other dude.
You got some balls man. It may not reward you with her, but it will only help you in the long run, as long as you continue to use it that way. It doesn't seem so bad, at least you didn't make it feel so awkward, you said it with style.
Thats something, I've tried to work on, getting over that awkward bullcrap feeling. I almost want to tell the next girls I meet, that if any of that awkward feelings happen, effin tell it like it is, and not ignore me, because thats lame. ( kinda got sidetracked here)
But yeah, you did the right thing, and you probably would have had a bigger burden if you didn't tell her.
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United States22883 Posts
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Nice write up and as everyone said "takes lots of balls" I just think it takes confidence to pursue what you want.
Now if she does fall thru the cracks and into your arms you can only imagine another guy with a stronger game being able to sweep her off your feet and falling into their arms.
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Interesting story. At first, thought the "her" was the angry lady and this would end up as a whine thread.
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Good job, I liked that description of the feeling you had, not uncomfortable but not comfortable either. The response she gave didn't sound bad, maybe she's just confused between you and her boyfriend. Will it be awkward seeing her again though?
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i love romanticists. <3 go evan!
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Good job man. Its always good to get those kinda things out. Was a good read as well.
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Haha, nice!
That takes some ballls, not too sure it was the right thing to do seeing that she has a boyfriend, but best of luck to you. 
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United States17042 Posts
Good Job. It was the right thing to do I'm sure.
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That takes fucking guts man
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awesome evan
i've been trying to get a girl to dump her boyfriend for me and it just isnt working out. If you continue wanting to be with her it isnt going to get any easier, but no sense in not trying to get what you want bro
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Man, I wish was as gutsy as you.
But I fail when it comes to things like this.
><
New Plan: Go to Berkeley and Learn the Arts of Love from LastRomantic and Evan.
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United States22883 Posts
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dang, that sounded like one of those dramas... where the guy ends up getting with the girl despite rejection in the end.
props man.
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Valhalla18444 Posts
bad idea to say stuff like that
she is already in a relationship why are you complicating shit just because you can't deal with your own emotions
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Valhalla18444 Posts
i mean it definitely sounds like you caught her completely offguard, she had no idea you were interested
i dunno what you expected to accomplish but you made her uncomfortable and basically killed any chance you would have if she got rid of her boyfriend for whatever reason
this is pretty much always a bad idea
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nice evan, this was so fun to read :D
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I'm not fired yet for some odd reason, not any bad emails so far, so I'll get to go to tutor meeting again. We'll see how things turn out.
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On November 03 2008 18:34 evanthebouncy! wrote:
Still hanging in limbo, dunno if I will lose my tutoring job or not because I was messing around too much in my tutoring sessions. Sometimes a bit too harsh on my tutees, telling them if they don't start working hard and try to understand the materials they'll fail their midterm.
You can't ever be too harsh on students, if they don't get mentally bashed they will grow weak! :p
And oh, I have been in a similar situation myself (About that girl) and its tough. Though I hate telling a girl that I like her and all that since she might actually respond positively 
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oh boy this is (going to be) awkard
Have to agree with FS that's not cool if she's dating someone.
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All's fair in love and war.
If u want something u have to fight for it - don't worry about her boyfriend, she will be delighted to know that she has a choice between u and another guy (who wouldn't be?). Her boyfriend will (hopefully) be in the dark, and he shouldn't need to know a thing. So basically you had nothing to lose by coming out like you did!
Better yet, if it goes balls up with her boyfriend then you never know, she might come running straight to you. Sounds like she at least is not disinterested, so you're definitely doing the right thing in my opinion. Better to get it out than regret it later.
Basically keep your head up and try to stay in touch with her, you never know what could happen
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On November 06 2008 15:49 evanthebouncy! wrote:
Wee I'm fired :p
So, was that your full-time job and you had nothing else?
Then that sucks, hope you can get something new.
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On November 05 2008 19:36 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote:
bad idea to say stuff like that
she is already in a relationship why are you complicating shit just because you can't deal with your own emotions
I'm still with Steve on this. A really selfish act.
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
same actually hehe
I was thinking "Man, guys are fucking creepos."
SHE DANCED WITH EVERYONE IN THAT CLASS.
She probably didn't want to make a fucking love connection in a ballroom class where she has to dance with everyone. I took ballroom dancing 1-3 and I saw so many fucking creepos like you that it made my head spin. You conjured up all these emotions with 0 conversation/connection with her (aside from you getting stiff while dancing with her) and then BAM you happen to be walking out at the same time and you tell her "I like you cuz wee dansed hur hur." That silence? It was uncomfortable. It was gross. If it was too dark for you to see her fucking face then it was even more creepy. You are the reason why I am going to be cleaning my shotgun everytime I meet my future daughter's prospective boyfriends.
stay out of malibu lebowski
PS: "CEREMONIUS HAND WAVE"? WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?
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On November 07 2008 03:01 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
same actually hehe
I was thinking "Man, guys are fucking creepos."
SHE DANCED WITH EVERYONE IN THAT CLASS.
She probably didn't want to make a fucking love connection in a ballroom class where she has to dance with everyone. I took ballroom dancing 1-3 and I saw so many fucking creepos like you that it made my head spin. You conjured up all these emotions with 0 conversation/connection with her (aside from you getting stiff while dancing with her) and then BAM you happen to be walking out at the same time and you tell her "I like you cuz wee dansed hur hur." That silence? It was uncomfortable. It was gross. If it was too dark for you to see her fucking face then it was even more creepy. You are the reason why I am going to be cleaning my shotgun everytime I meet my future daughter's prospective boyfriends.
stay out of malibu lebowski
PS: "CEREMONIUS HAND WAVE"? WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?
im laughing so hard
oh god hahahha
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On November 07 2008 03:01 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
same actually hehe
I was thinking "Man, guys are fucking creepos."
SHE DANCED WITH EVERYONE IN THAT CLASS.
She probably didn't want to make a fucking love connection in a ballroom class where she has to dance with everyone. I took ballroom dancing 1-3 and I saw so many fucking creepos like you that it made my head spin. You conjured up all these emotions with 0 conversation/connection with her (aside from you getting stiff while dancing with her) and then BAM you happen to be walking out at the same time and you tell her "I like you cuz wee dansed hur hur." That silence? It was uncomfortable. It was gross. If it was too dark for you to see her fucking face then it was even more creepy. You are the reason why I am going to be cleaning my shotgun everytime I meet my future daughter's prospective boyfriends.
stay out of malibu lebowski
PS: "CEREMONIUS HAND WAVE"? WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?
Tell me that you wouldn't do the same if you thought you had a chance to do her?
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On November 07 2008 03:01 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
same actually hehe
I was thinking "Man, guys are fucking creepos."
SHE DANCED WITH EVERYONE IN THAT CLASS.
She probably didn't want to make a fucking love connection in a ballroom class where she has to dance with everyone. I took ballroom dancing 1-3 and I saw so many fucking creepos like you that it made my head spin. You conjured up all these emotions with 0 conversation/connection with her (aside from you getting stiff while dancing with her) and then BAM you happen to be walking out at the same time and you tell her "I like you cuz wee dansed hur hur." That silence? It was uncomfortable. It was gross. If it was too dark for you to see her fucking face then it was even more creepy. You are the reason why I am going to be cleaning my shotgun everytime I meet my future daughter's prospective boyfriends.
stay out of malibu lebowski
PS: "CEREMONIUS HAND WAVE"? WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?
I am not usually an inc fan but god this was funny ><
brb voting in that silly tv show thread :p
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
On November 07 2008 04:57 Klockan3 wrote:Show nested quote +On November 07 2008 03:01 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
same actually hehe
I was thinking "Man, guys are fucking creepos."
SHE DANCED WITH EVERYONE IN THAT CLASS.
She probably didn't want to make a fucking love connection in a ballroom class where she has to dance with everyone. I took ballroom dancing 1-3 and I saw so many fucking creepos like you that it made my head spin. You conjured up all these emotions with 0 conversation/connection with her (aside from you getting stiff while dancing with her) and then BAM you happen to be walking out at the same time and you tell her "I like you cuz wee dansed hur hur." That silence? It was uncomfortable. It was gross. If it was too dark for you to see her fucking face then it was even more creepy. You are the reason why I am going to be cleaning my shotgun everytime I meet my future daughter's prospective boyfriends.
stay out of malibu lebowski
PS: "CEREMONIUS HAND WAVE"? WHAT THE FLYING FUCK? Tell me that you wouldn't do the same if you thought you had a chance to do her?
When I think I have a chance to "do" a girl I base it on some kind of indication. He is basing it off of a purely independent feeling he had with a girl in his ballroom dance. Did she instigate the feeling? Absolutely not. He liked the way she fit in his arms.. wow nevermind the cliche of every romance film since 1920 it is also a god damn creepy thing to drop on a girl as you walk out of class.
Have the fucking balls to dance with a pretty girl and have it be just that. If you want to pursue a relationship don't start with "I like you cause we had class together." That is common sense 101. Have a fucking conversation first christ.
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On November 05 2008 19:41 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote:
i mean it definitely sounds like you caught her completely offguard, she had no idea you were interested
i dunno what you expected to accomplish but you made her uncomfortable and basically killed any chance you would have if she got rid of her boyfriend for whatever reason
this is pretty much always a bad idea
I agree with not telling, if the girl is in a relationship. But it is not always possible to keep it to yourself. Sometimes you start to feel like youre going to blow a fuse if you don't. It is hard to keep your cool if you have a crush. (excuse my mediocre English)
If u want something u have to fight for it - don't worry about her boyfriend, she will be delighted to know that she has a choice between u and another guy (who wouldn't be?).
Fighting for her. This isn't the karatekid movie. It doesn't work that way. Not even in a anology/symbolic way. Drop the knight in shinning armour crap.
Delighted to know she has a choice. Only if she is really insecure. They know how to wrap you around their finger. These words maybe intended to encourage but they are not true.
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Listen guys this supposed to be an experience, whether good or bad, right or wrong, fruitful or not, it is a good experience to have, and it's things like this that makes life interesting. I don't particular agree with all the "logical analysis" on this situation, you're not supposed to analyze love. I felt it, how it come to be, who cares. I felt it, so I had to say it because I've never been able to say things like that and it made me feel terrible afterwards. But now that I said it, I'm very happy of what I did.
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Am I trying to aquire her? Would be nice if I do, but I know it's unlikely. But am I fond of her? Yes I am, so I should be honest about it. Cooping feelings inside all the time is not healthy, and I'm confident she's mature enough to handle it.
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
You just said you felt love..not fondness.
Listen either you are young and thus have an excuse to be creepy or you are a creepo.
Stop throwing around the word "love" like you know what that is. Nobody would claim love then fondness with 2 minutes of seperation. Jesus get consistant.
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Does anyone else here not wave to girls unless they wave first?
I usually just do the head nod. Waving is just weird for dudes.
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On November 07 2008 11:21 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
You just said you felt love..not fondness.
Listen either you are young and thus have an excuse to be creepy or you are a creepo.
Stop throwing around the word "love" like you know what that is. Nobody would claim love then fondness with 2 minutes of seperation. Jesus get consistant.
Yawwwwn...
This is not debate here, please keep that to your other threads. Here is I share a story, you hear a story. That's that.
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United States22883 Posts
People who have been in love and have been loved back, and then have had their heart annihilated (as I believe Inc and myself have) are touchy about the word being misused by the likes of Scorpion, etc. when they just feel infatuation.
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I could not for the life of me understand why you did what you did. If you really, really, did like her, you would have just left it as it was: she seemed to be in a (hopefully) healthy and good relationship with her boyfriend and adding yourself into the equation only invites drama.
Sure, she definitely might be mature enough to handle it. But you can't argue that you're placing a stress on her by confessing your feelings. I don't agree with the majority of the posts in this blog: I think that you would have been much more of a man if you decided not to say anything, looked forward, and realized that although you desperately want her to know how you feel, that it would be better for her if you just let it go.
I mean, you can put yourself in her shoes, no? If you were in a good relationship with another girl, and suddenly, this girl that you know briefly from various activities confesses to you, wouldn’t you feel discomfort? How do you respond to this girl, who already knows you have a good thing going with another girl? The relationship has been changed; the two of you can’t just be friends anymore after a confession like that. So what do you do when you see her again?
Like I said, I cannot for the life of me understand why you did what you did.
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wait wtf, youre proposing we ignore logics and reasoning and not analyze things? Thats always bad no matter the context.
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
actually its good when you are basing strong emotions on empty logic.. that way you feel less retarded when you blindly assume it is love and everyone should be applauding your every action consequently.
love isnt some kinda of super fucking pass where you pull it out and announce you will from that point forward behave illogically.
you had no basis with this girl. Dancing in a ballroom class and feeling "right" doesn't constitute love. I wish to God you would have said on that dark (literally) day when you told her you liked her that you would have used the word love. Then she would have REALLY freaked out and you would have been totally "honest" (hard to call it that when you yourself are confused). At least that way you would have learned your fucking lesson.
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"Why are you here then? Isn't it so far to walk from where you live?" She asked me. I cannot dodge, I probably planned this conversation 12321321 times inside my brain, what I should tell her, what information I should get across, and how I might feel, and always sporting an embarrassing smile when I thought of it. There was no smile then, only a self-bemusing grimace and a chuckle, "I suppose, because I want to see you."
I almost cried over here =(
that's soooo sweet, man
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Maybe it was a mistake to be seeing her if there's no real reason to be doing it besides "I likes you LOL what will you do now sense u got a bf?" Maybe that was the mistake, not to decide what to do when you are called on it. By then maybe it's too late. I don't see how honesty is a good thing here. Obviously sometimes you have to not follow through on every attraction or tell people about it.
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Glad you got it off your chest, and props for having the guts to go through with that confrontation.
Without the job, did you have any contact with her? It possibly would have swung another way if you were close enough outside of the job with her as opposed to inside. Her mindset, if not, could have just been that you were a friendly co-worker.
Apart from that, what's done is done, and you got your outcome. No use regretting it from here on out, neglecting what others are saying about you being in the wrong.
Congrats on being a romantic.
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That's really terrible you got fired. I admire your optimistic outlook in this situation, as I always have.
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be happy and learn
things will end up working out just fine
you have the right attitude
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It's never a bad idea to confess your feelings as long as you don't do it at a bad time. What you did was fine, it would've been worse to keep it cooped up for a long time. This should not have too much of a negative effect if she was in a happy relationship with her current guy.
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just an update, 3 years later.
After 3 years, and a great relationship past me (had awesome time while at it, sad it has to end), this is still a great experience I will never forget. The girl in this blog is engaged to her boyfriend, and has remained one of my good friends.
Was just re-reading this entry and man, fun times...
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Smix
United States4549 Posts
Damn, crazy. I love having experiences like this written down too so I can look back and see how much things have changed/stayed the same..
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ya, pretty much all of us have this experience, it should be a children's book so we can get it out of the way next to s is for snake. dont win a girl by obsessing over how she makes you feel - instead focus on how you're making her feel.
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On September 06 2011 18:29 evanthebouncy! wrote:
just an update, 3 years later.
After 3 years, and a great relationship past me (had awesome time while at it, sad it has to end), this is still a great experience I will never forget. The girl in this blog is engaged to her boyfriend, and has remained one of my good friends.
Was just re-reading this entry and man, fun times...
You should write a blog on how you turned her into a good friend. Methinks most girls will be creeped out.
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On September 06 2011 22:41 cascades wrote:Show nested quote +On September 06 2011 18:29 evanthebouncy! wrote:
just an update, 3 years later.
After 3 years, and a great relationship past me (had awesome time while at it, sad it has to end), this is still a great experience I will never forget. The girl in this blog is engaged to her boyfriend, and has remained one of my good friends.
Was just re-reading this entry and man, fun times... You should write a blog on how you turned her into a good friend. Methinks most girls will be creeped out.
there is no "turning her into a good friend" it is just she was a good friend and she still is. I think I can appreciate if some girls would be freaked out, but she's much too mature for that. I was honest, and that's that.
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On November 07 2008 11:21 iNcontroL wrote:
You just said you felt love..not fondness.
Listen either you are young and thus have an excuse to be creepy or you are a creepo.
Stop throwing around the word "love" like you know what that is. Nobody would claim love then fondness with 2 minutes of seperation. Jesus get consistant.
"Real love is seeing a 5 second clip of somebody and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them." -Tasteless
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On September 07 2011 04:47 Ushio wrote:Show nested quote +On November 07 2008 11:21 iNcontroL wrote:
You just said you felt love..not fondness.
Listen either you are young and thus have an excuse to be creepy or you are a creepo.
Stop throwing around the word "love" like you know what that is. Nobody would claim love then fondness with 2 minutes of seperation. Jesus get consistant. "Real love is seeing a 5 second clip of somebody and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them." -Tasteless
So thats the story with you and meatspin?
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