[Wk34] Improving in Fitness, Gaming & Music

About this blog/diary:+ Show Spoiler +

I'm a professional musician and (very) amateur gamer.
Blogging about improving and sticking to a program is very effective for my overall progress!
Having been inspired by Haulvern, I hope this humble blog can motivate another someone in need of positive change.
Thanks for checking this out and feel free to leave any comments or suggestions!

Week preview: So excited that I'm close to getting down into the 170s for the first time in a decade!
Also, audition lists are coming in so it's game time!
Time to kick some butt!

Goals for the Week

Get out of results and get into process. --Doc Rotella

Fitness Goals:
4 Weight-lifting sessions (program)(rep log): [image loading]

2 Rowing HIIT or LISS sessions (log): [image loading]

(opt) Running/Hills/Weighted walk sessions (log):
Weight Loss (slow 2k/cal cut): (food log)(chart) + Show Spoiler [Up-to-date Progress] +

            Gaming Goals:
                  Log write-ups of my team's OCC Blood Bowl games (Current Standings):
                  Log write-ups and session prep for my DND 5E Campaign (wiki):

            Personal Goals:
                  4+ Self-Hypnosis or Affirmation sessions: ( [image loading]

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4+ Meditation sessions: ( [image loading]

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Log daily food intake: (log) (

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Quality challenge-seeking practice session: (

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Weigh-in regularly (log): ( [image loading]

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Previous Weeks: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33.

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Monday 3/23: [image loading]

This current week is off to a stellar start, but before I delve into it I need to take some time and reflect on the end of last week. The pair of relatively stressful concerts at the end of last week were under-performances. The Saturday night show at the end of the 2.5 hour commutes was generally solid, but I had two minor concentration slip-ups on entrances that I had never made before. It translated into two minor note misses in the space of the 1:30 long exposed concert, which isn't that large of a deal, but how I reacted was the problem. I couldn't pull myself out of the mistakes and keep beating myself up for them. The drive home and the next morning I was replaying in my head the mental slip-ups and just kept flagellating myself for the small mistakes.

The next day, I tried to regather myself for the afternoon's small ensemble concert. The trio performance was moderately stressful only because the ensemble never really came together intonationally. There were some excellent musical and expressive moments we achieved in rehearsal, but they were countered by some just funky chords that would randomly fail to lock together. Intonation is something I consider a weakness of mine because bad habits creep into my play when I feel I'm out of tune in stressful situations. During some of the super-soft, exposed play in this concert, those habits reared their ugly heads again. I suffered greatly through some tense and under-supported passages before I was able to rally and blow through. The third movement was much better. But the pièce de résistance was a gigantic brain fart I suffered in the second movement. I haven't made a mistake of this magnitude in decades.... While I was trying to rally and blow through supporting my play fully, I miscounted a note on an extended solo. For the next 20 measures or so of the piece I was a beat off from the rest of the ensemble.... I actually drew the clarinet to join me in the wrong part of the beat for a couple measure. The piece is relatively modern so it felt odd, but not out of place. It wasn't until after slight pause that I was able to realize what happened and the ensemble came back together. Thankfully, the audience didnt' notice. I was so ashamed the mistake though.... After all that preparation to fall that short in the concert after nailing it every single rehearsal.... I was just beside myself with shame and frustration.

Despite the suffering and mistakes, my wife was able to offer perspective. I asked for her honest and unfiltered opinion on the concert and had no idea I was suffering so greatly in the early movements. This was a huge load off.... That my suffering didn't transfer to the perception of someone who knows music and knows good performances made me feel better, but it was a small victory. It took an hour or so of discussion with her, but I was able to pull myself out of the negative self-talk loops. I'm reminded of one of my Belleruth Naparstak affirmations: "More and more, I realize that the time for injuring myself with repeated visits to past failures is over...."

Tuesday 3/24: [image loading]

The shortcomings of last week and the feelings of frustration are just calls to action for the coming week! I resolved to reassess how I approach those concentration and support issues in my private practice and have enacted a plan accordingly! Monday's practice was particularly good! The new routine has felt nice! Also, I've always felt like one of my self-hypnosis tapes has been less effective than some of the others, but in a recent session I was able to connect to it in a new and informative way. I realized that it serves a different purpose than my other goal-oriented or performance-preparation oriented sessions. The session which is also from Belleruth Naparstak repairs and amends general outlook. It's a way of reforming how you view yourself and feel about your progress. It felt nice to reconnect to this exercise in a new way after listening to it for several years.

I'm about to head out the door to get my brakes repaired and oil changed... No fun but gotta do it! Yesterday's Squat session was off the chain! Nailed a near-failure 5th rep on my 3+ set. Today will be a rowing day!

I'll be back later to update regarding my latest Blood Bowl match. It was a draw against a rat team... so I consider it a success. What rankled me though was that my opponent was a salty little bitch who failed to recognize the shortcomings in his own play. It took every ounce of self-control to not talk shit to him after he was groused about his mediocre dice saying that was the only reason he lost.... The fucking game glitched on me and I had to play a whole half down one pivotal player and he had the gall to say that I was the luckier of the pair. Fucking piece of shit whiny bitch with no self-awareness.

More on that match later... I'm beat now after another long practice session, a light rowing session, and a Mostly Walking triple feature with the wife.

Wednesday 3/25: [image loading]

Yaaaaayyy! Today's rehearsal for the weekend's big chamber concert was a major success! By focusing on ease and blowing through every note, I was able to play from a place of centered, relaxed poise. The conductor stopped the rehearsal multiple times to compliment me and made a special note complimenting our section at the end of the rehearsal.

It's especially meaningful because I went into the rehearsal worried about my endurance. The previous night's practice reinforced my concerns as I was failing to make it through some of the extended passage work. But I went it to rehearsal focusing only on body relaxation and full supported breathing and was able to spin some nice lines and respond to what was happening around me. It just became easier and easier as I was playing! Ahh... so happy with day!

Nailed a pretty good Press Day. Only 1 rep on my 1+ rep so progress will most likely slow or be reset soon. That being said, I'm pretty happy with the effort though. I did experience some minor wrist pinch so next time I'll focus on keeping that locked in a neutral position.

Thursday 3/26: [image loading]

Holy shit! Nailed 4 reps on the 1+ Deadlift Day! Felt super amazing! I was totally not expecting to be able to make that effort. Even though I nailed it, I'm going to up deads by only 10lb this week. For two months running I've progressed at 20lb clips and just need to make sure I don't overdo it. Today I had grip issues on the first of three works sets, so it's definitely time to incorporate some grip training on off days. Conveniently, it will go hand in hand perfectly with my pull-up Grease the Groove sets. At the end of each set I'll do a timed dead hang to finish off the session.

Today is a day off, but taxes are on the docket for the day. I'm not looking forward to this... but it has to be done.

Also, I've had too many silver only practice days in the previous weeks. I'm going to start pushing for gold level accomplishments with clear, delineated goals. Time to build some confidence!

Taxes took much longer than anticipated.... Government cutbacks cut the funding for the volunteer tax assistance program offered to my branch of the service and this was replaced by a shitty H&R Block web program. It took twice as long to get the expected refund as it did with the volunteer professional. Oh well... what can you do?

Friday 3/27:

Saturday 3/28:

I find it funny that I miss updates more on lazy days off than I do on busy or stressful days. It's worth noting at least. Tomorrow is another slow day and I'm going to set some clear baby goals for practice and see what happens.

Bench Day today was an underperformance. My 1+ rep was only 1... I still advance in weight thankfully, but I felt like I could have done more. Tomorrow's Squat Day will make up for the effort.

The workout was pushed to the end of the day on account of the chamber concert. We were playing the Strauss Suite in Bflat which has some very nice principal horn moments, but spread throughout stretches of long extended soft playing. The performance was only adequate as far as proficiency, but I did succeed in keeping my mental focus throughout. I was able to pull myself back in after minor inconsistencies while keeping the focus on ease and poise. All-in-all, I was pretty happy with the effort, but I'm probably going to try and listen to the recording to get a sense of balance.

Sunday 3/29:

Nailed Squat Day to the final tally of 3 reps. I've also graduated to hanging leg raises (from the lying down variation) and have discovered just how quickly they rip through grip strength! After 3 x10 sets I finally get to use the straps I bought 10 years ago! Nice nice.

Pretty good practice day, but generally low on mental prep. Also, my blood bowl game was delayed until tomorrow night... boo

[Wk34] Improving in Fitness, Gaming & Music

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