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So obviously my pro debut in DotA happened yesterday and we lost. We had practiced hard for it and I had a great time playing and I thought I did alright considering how nervous I was. Some back story. I arrived on the 29th with the promise and hopes of winning NSL Season 2. Obviously nothing in this world is guaranteed, but Febby told me we would train hard work together to win etc. The agreement was that I would join the team for a period of around 6 months and extend / shorten my stay depending on how we did as a group. I trusted Febby as I was leaving home for this, having to pay my own way to get there and I spent countless hours convincing my mom of this. I arrived at the house, we had some issues as our personalities sometimes clashed but I felt we had resolved and hashed it at all out. After our match a few hours ago, we all seemed depressed but Febby told me I played well, don't worry about it and throughout the process assured me that no matter what we'd try again and regroup for Season 3.
I was dismayed as it meant I had nothing to do, but obviously we couldn't anticipate Demon coming, and we also didn't play as well as we could have. Things happen, I tried my best to console my team who were utterly crushed at having lost in the first round, while Febby went out with his girlfriend. The rest of us went back to the team house, had dinner as a group and tried to console each other and it seemed like we were finally kind of getting over it. On a side note, as this is the first time I experienced losing as a pro, it's absolutely heartbreaking. Not just because of the fact that I lost on stage and with a lot of people watching and supporting me, that was secondary to the fact that my team was so utterly depressed. It saddened me greatly to see these great young guys who had given up so much be left with so little at the end of the day. Its a risk we all take knowingly, but it still blows and I respect the hell out of anybody that attempts to play this game professionally. Anyways we all get to the house around 1, I talk to my girlfriend, chat with people who sent me messages, read some message boards and go to sleep. I woke up to one of my teammates sobbing, and I was annoyed cuz it was 4am and I was so tired haha. I said don't cry its only a loss, we can bounce back from this I'm the oldest so its best put on a smile at all times. Even though I was upset after our games I put on a big smile so my team could see it was okay, and I asked him what was wrong and he told me Febby no longer believed in us and had quit the team. I was understandably upset as he had been my main point of contact and the main reason I had flown out. I mean we had made so many commitments to each other how we'd hold each other up throughout the process and no matter what we'd play in Season 3 and it would be okay, and here he was gone. This was the guy who was the captain, a point he stressed constantly to me, leaving me with a team I had been on for less then 6 days and expecting me to simply pick up where he left off. The worst part is I was told that he had been feeling like leaving for quite sometime, and had lined up plans with another team, and this was all apparently happening for quite sometime. I was absolutely floored. Not only did I just suffer the worst loss of my career (and even though its my only one its pretty shitty trust me) I had just been told that more or less irregardless of how we did he was going to leave and he had these feelings this entire time.
He stressed that he had issues living with the other teammates and that it wasn't fun for him anymore etc. Why couldn't he have told me this, I had other plans and options christ. Disclaimer: Apparently the reason he left was that he had been feeling like this for a while but he didn't know how to leave and wanted to see how Season 2 would play out. I had obviously come to win money as well, I'm not going to lie, but I also paid my way here on what is now an empty promise and words. My teams in disarray and everyone's upset, first they lose in the 1st round, now they lose their captain and the person that brought us all together. No idea what I'm going to do now, my options are either stay here and try and find a new 5th even though I don't know anyone at all, join another team, or go back home a failure. Either way I'm incredibly embarrassed that this all happened and I'm even more so upset that someone I put so much faith in just kinda left 4 hours after we lost and it had apparently been planned for as soon as we lost. That just affirms to me that he assumed we'd lose this game and was just waiting for his chance to peace?
The main purpose of the blog was because choya was afraid if Febby left and if I decided to leave that there would be drama that the team is bad or in the wrong somehow, or that the issue lied with the players. This is meant to absolve the organization and the remaining players of any guilt etc. IF I decide to leave the team right after Febby did I want most people to know why, as he was my main point of contact and my only friend going into this process. Thanks
Edit: It sucks even more for my team who are all kinda left in disarray not knowing what to do and not knowing if I'll stay or not. I told them I needed some time to consider my options and see what I can do as I don't wanna rush into another situation as blindly as I did in this one. They are all fantastic people who really made me feel at home and made me enjoy my stay here.
 
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Transition to casting, become the next Draskyll.
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I'm really sorry Will. I know you'll make the best of the situation no matter what.
You can do it buddy.
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Brazil1429 Posts
It's okay, Blitz. Use this rage to crush through the next NSL!
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2774 Posts
I had no idea you'd take the loss like you seem to have, but hey, you did well so chin up regarding that anyway.
The actual issue at hand is quite a bit problematic indeed, though I hope you can make a decision you'll be happy with and remember to think things through properly.
EDIT: Maybe there's someone you could find as a replacement, do you think you could lead a team though?
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Ouch, this is really sad. You got this blotz
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Wow that sucks  Don't give up! Maybe you can pick up the captain's role? Febby sucked anyway. Byebye Burden!
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I added some line breaks if that makes it easier for anyone to read.
+ Show Spoiler +So obviously my pro debut in DotA happened yesterday and we lost. We had practiced hard for it and I had a great time playing and I thought I did alright considering how nervous I was. Some back story.
I arrived on the 29th with the promise and hopes of winning NSL Season 2. Obviously nothing in this world is guaranteed, but Febby told me we would train hard work together to win etc. The agreement was that I would join the team for a period of around 6 months and extend / shorten my stay depending on how we did as a group. I trusted Febby as I was leaving home for this, having to pay my own way to get there and I spent countless hours convincing my mom of this. I arrived at the house, we had some issues as our personalities sometimes clashed but I felt we had resolved and hashed it at all out.
After our match a few hours ago, we all seemed depressed but Febby told me I played well, don't worry about it and throughout the process assured me that no matter what we'd try again and regroup for Season 3. I was dismayed as it meant I had nothing to do, but obviously we couldn't anticipate Demon coming, and we also didn't play as well as we could have. Things happen, I tried my best to console my team who were utterly crushed at having lost in the first round, while Febby went out with his girlfriend. The rest of us went back to the team house, had dinner as a group and tried to console each other and it seemed like we were finally kind of getting over it.
On a side note, as this is the first time I experienced losing as a pro, it's absolutely heartbreaking. Not just because of the fact that I lost on stage and with a lot of people watching and supporting me, that was secondary to the fact that my team was so utterly depressed. It saddened me greatly to see these great young guys who had given up so much be left with so little at the end of the day. Its a risk we all take knowingly, but it still blows and I respect the hell out of anybody that attempts to play this game professionally.
Anyways we all get to the house around 1, I talk to my girlfriend, chat with people who sent me messages, read some message boards and go to sleep. I woke up to one of my teammates sobbing, and I asked him what was wrong and he told me Febby no longer believed in us and had quit the team. I was understandably upset as he had been my main point of contact and the main reason I had flown out. I mean we had made so many commitments to each other how we'd hold each other up throughout the process and no matter what we'd play in Season 3 and it would be okay, and here he was gone. This was the guy who was the captain, a point he stressed constantly to me, leaving me with a team I had been on for less then 6 days and expecting me to simply pick up where he left off.
The worst part is I was told that he had been feeling like leaving for quite sometime, and had lined up plans with another team, and this was all apparently happening for quite sometime. I was absolutely floored. Not only did I just suffer the worst loss of my career (and even though its my only one its pretty shitty trust me) I had just been told that more or less irregardless of how we did he was going to leave and he had these feelings this entire time. He stressed that he had issues living with the other teammates and that it wasn't fun for him anymore etc. Why couldn't he have told me this, I had other plans and options christ.
By now I'm assuming I was brought in for Season 2 to win it for him so he could take his chunk of cash and peace for a better opportunity. (Disclaimer: This assumption is strong and not entirely unfounded) I had obviously come to win money as well, I'm not going to lie, but I also paid my way here on what is now an empty promise and words. My teams in disarray and everyone's upset, first they lose in the 1st round, now they lose there captain and the person that brought us all together. No idea what I'm going to do now, my options are either stay here and try and find a new 5th even though I don't know anyone at all, join another team, or go back home a failure.
Either way I'm incredibly embarrassed that this all happened and I'm even more so upset that someone I put so much faith in just kinda left 4 hours after we lost and it had apparently been planned for as soon as we lost. That just affirms to me that he assumed we'd lose this game and was just waiting for his chance to peace? I don't know this entire blog is a jumbled mess as I still haven't slept and its 8 am. The main purpose of this blog is to vent and be as transparent as possible so if I do leave or change my plans everyone knows why. If someone thinks I'm being petty or I was in the wrong here, sorry I just couldn't really contain it.
Thanks everyone that supported me btw throughout the entire process. Sorry for those who donated and funded my trip to Korea, I felt like I wasted your money and I'll do my best to individually pay you back.
And that absolutely sucks. My vote - for what it's worth - is to try to stick it out. It can't be easy being in your position, but if the team is going to stick together and look for a fifth, I think it'd be worthwhile staying with them.
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Don't worry Blitz, you've got a lot of people supporting you, and I'm sure you can make something happen.
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I made an account to issue my condolences. That's fucking garbage. You're a truly good guy and I hope things work out for you. Chin up, press on, and make him regret his decision.
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You know that saying.: Some are born great, some make themselves great and others have greatness thrust upon them.
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This osunds like an opportunity to me. Build from the ashes of the past and build yourself a strong team. It sounds to me like this team needs a leader, and you have the opportunity to take that. Obviously finding a fifth will be tough, but if you can show yourself as a strong personality and a leader for the other 3, they'll believe in you and help you find a fifth.
You can do it!
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Lalalaland34504 Posts
Wow Blitz this absolutely sucks, I did not expect this at all. I hope it somehow works for you.
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What a fucking cunt, he throws you the second game by dying as anti-mage against heroes that really has no way of stopping his split-push and then leaves the team 4 hours after.
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I heard Marco found comfort in those massage parlors in Korea. Maybe you should try one out clear your mind and come up with a good decision.
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Maybe you should consult with your Husbando back in the states.
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Wow, just wow. That's really harsh from Febby, an incredible dick move. I mean, it's not like this is just a random online thing or something. This is the sort of shit that I've seen from people in WoW guilds, but I don't expect it to be done to someone that has travelled all the way across the world for this team!
Really sucks to hear your forced in this shitty position. Restarting the team or leaving Korea after such little time is not something you would expect after only a few days . Stay strong Blitz, be sure to know that whatever you decide is completely up to you, totally not your fault in anyway and that there are plenty of people that support you. Blitz fighting! <3
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Oh god, that blows! I hope you and the rest of the team will feel better about this soon... I guess... And I always thought Febby sounded like a pretty cool guy... Turns out he's a dick like so many people in eSports /:
As far as future plans go: I don't want to tell you what to do but if I was in your position, I'd stay on fOu for now and try to find a fifth guy or wait for another team to approach you. I guess you could be streaming to get some money as well. I'm pretty sure there are some fans out there who would be willing to help you out if you need anything as well.
Oh and no need to pay me back. I mainly supported you because I like you and your stream and because you had the opportunity to do something I would love to do myself but will most likely never have the chance to. If you'd just stream from time to time it'd be more than enough as a payback, for me at least.
PS: If you need a 5th player really badly, hit me up. I'm fucking terrible but I'm willing to sack all my money to go to Korea and play Dota :DD
EDIT: Oh yeah forgot: Hope everything turns out semi-well in the end. Stay strong Blitz-Oppa <3
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Damn I'm sorry Blitz I think you're reacting rationally though. In fact, if I were you I would be wayyy more pissed at Febby for doing that but I don't know all the smaller details so maybe I'd be wrong. Such a bummer that you didn't know his plans on leaving before joining, you probably could have saved a lot of money and time :/
You had mentioned before that you were going to visit your family in addition to joining a team so you still get some use out of this trip even if you decide to come back, don't forget that! And if I were you I would stick it out, find another player, possibly another team even, and give it another few shots. Because an opportunity like this, even a failed one, opens doors. Just give it time!
Best of luck! <3 u bb
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Honestly I don't think Febby was trying to dick me, I just don't think he saw a future in the team, he just didn't really know how to leave and when he saw his chance he took it. I mean we all go through that phase, 3 days in I contacted someone saying this team isn't working cuz we had such a huge fight, but we resolved our differences and I thought we were cool. Sigh
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