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So in a previous blog I had talked about how I was not going to date a girl at work and even though I specifically asked people not to respond to the interaction between me and said girl, of course some people couldn't resist.
However, as it turns out they were right and I was wrong.
On Monday I came in to work as normal and she was super friendly and flirty again, but this time I wasn't biting. I totally Liam Lynch'd her ass. YEAH WHATEVER. I didn't completely ignore her, or treat her badly, I just wasn't interested in flirting back. Because of course, as I saw it, she was only interested in friendship (ugh).
But then I started to notice that she was doing a lot of stuff that someone who wasn't interested wouldn't do. And slowly, over the last couple of days I began to entertain the fact that maybe she actually was honestly and truly just getting over someone, and she didn't want to rush into things with somebody new.
So I started flirting back again, and sharing my breaks with her again. And the feelings that I had recently convinced myself to abandon started surfacing again.
But still, there was the possibility that she was just a tease. Believe it or not guys, there are some girls who just like the attention. They like stringing guys along for their own amusement, and really could care less how that makes you feel.
So I was in complete agony for a couple of days. I really liked this girl. A lot. I was falling for her a lot harder than I have for any other girl. But at the back of my mind, was this friend statement she made just a short while ago. And then on top of that, if I made a move and she was actually just wanting to wait a little, then that would kill everything.
Finally yesterday, near the end of my shift I came to a conclusion. If I was falling this hard, I was going to have to clarify where things where going. Consequences be damned.
However, at the end of our shift she asks me if I can walk her out to her car. Once we get to her car, she offers me a lift to my car. Which is literally like 30 yards away. So we climb in and we both just started talking.
And talking.
We talked for about an hour in that car. Engine running, defrost blasting. And then we went to a Tim Horton's and we talked for another hour after that. And it was awesome. So very cool, very easy conversation. I'm a lucky guy.
One last thing. We were talking about music that we liked, and as it was winding down she blurts out, "but I love trance and techno stuff the most of all". And then she sort of turns her ahead away and starts blushing, obviously embarrassed by making that confession.
Now I have never in my life, EVER, met anyone who liked trance and techno as well. And so I was like, "ya I love that stuff too". But she just rolled her eyes, thinking that I was trying to make her feel better. But then I start mentioning DJ Tiesto and Paul Van Dyk, DJ Doboy, and ATB. And as I'm listing all of this stuff I listen to, she starts pulling burned CD's out from under her seat with all the same stuff. Unreal.
Sorry for the long post, I'm just on a really big high right now.
 
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
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Lucky guy. Never let this girl go
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5/5 for making me smile on your behalf 
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Save yourself before it's too late. She will be your ruin.
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Sitting in a car with her for over an hour, simply talking.
No offense, but I don't see how this is heading anywhere other than friendzone. Call me a cynic I suppose.
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The ill-fated friendzone.
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sometimes you can find amazing girls at work 
+ Show Spoiler +usually avoid dipping the pen in company ink tho
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See. SEE!! no but seriously, keep an open mind and crazy things can happen. Even if you don't get together, you may have just started a good friendship.
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On November 02 2012 03:26 zalz wrote:
Sitting in a car with her for over an hour, simply talking.
No offense, but I don't see how this is heading anywhere other than friendzone. Call me a cynic I suppose.
Yes any dialogue with a female in a vehicle that lasts an hour or more must be accompanied by a hand jibber or blowie. Otherwise, friendzone.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
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Isn't dating at work dangerous? what if you break up!
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On November 02 2012 04:10 needcomputer wrote:
Isn't dating at work dangerous? what if you break up!
This, but also, do whatever you feel to be a best response to a situation and no one will blame you down the road but yourself.
Please at least don't continue flirting/interacting while on the job, that can put you and her and serious jeopardy down the road. Keep love and work separate as much as possible.
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On November 02 2012 04:01 Rekrul wrote:
LOL
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Ya I am very aware of dating at work perils. The only thing I can say is that this job is just your run of the mill production job. If worst comes to absolute worst, then I can always find another job just like this one. Seriously, there is a crap ton of jobs out there just like this one. However, the people are really nice here and I actually don't hate the work so I'd rather stay.
Also just for future reference in any other blogs I might post, I never kiss and tell. So I'm not going to be going into details romantically ever. Having said that, I can tell you that we're definitely not just friends at this point. And that's all I'm ever going to say.
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Zzzz... "told ya!"
Well played sir, have fun. =)
PS: ATB live was fun as hell, one of the coolest electronic sessions I've been to. <3
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
so you don't kiss and tell but you'll say it without saying it, classy
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"I don't kiss and tell, but allow me to allow you to make the inference that she had her mouth on my penis."
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On November 02 2012 04:18 RoyGBiv_13 wrote:Show nested quote +On November 02 2012 04:10 needcomputer wrote:
Isn't dating at work dangerous? what if you break up! This, but also, do whatever you feel to be a best response to a situation and no one will blame you down the road but yourself. Please at least don't continue flirting/interacting while on the job, that can put you and her and serious jeopardy down the road. Keep love and work separate as much as possible.
Absolutely this. It's neat and very convenient to be in love with a co-worker, but it's also going to be freakishly easy to for your relationship to prove a giant distraction in the workplace.
Someone mentioned you're being "friend-zoned," and no offense, but that might be the best course of action right now. You want to have a solid, platonic foundation for any relationship, and especially a strong one if you're hoping for a romantic one later down the road. Plus, it will keep you less focused on her when you're both doing your jobs. So don't be afraid to establish a firm friendship before moving up. That's my advice.
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lol nice nice
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On November 02 2012 04:39 cLAN.Anax wrote:Show nested quote +On November 02 2012 04:18 RoyGBiv_13 wrote:On November 02 2012 04:10 needcomputer wrote:
Isn't dating at work dangerous? what if you break up! This, but also, do whatever you feel to be a best response to a situation and no one will blame you down the road but yourself. Please at least don't continue flirting/interacting while on the job, that can put you and her and serious jeopardy down the road. Keep love and work separate as much as possible. Absolutely this. It's neat and very convenient to be in love with a co-worker, but it's also going to be freakishly easy to for your relationship to prove a giant distraction in the workplace. Someone mentioned you're being "friend-zoned," and no offense, but that might be the best course of action right now. You want to have a solid, platonic foundation for any relationship, and especially a strong one if you're hoping for a romantic one later down the road. Plus, it will keep you less focused on her when you're both doing your jobs. So don't be afraid to establish a firm friendship before moving up. That's my advice.
Lying to girls, masquerading as their friends so you can have sex with them.
Much better foundation for a relationship than honestly displaying intent.
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Sigh. We kissed okay. Not oral. Kissed.
Sorry there's some other responses, but I have to leave for work now, haven't read them.
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On November 02 2012 04:45 zalz wrote:Show nested quote +On November 02 2012 04:39 cLAN.Anax wrote:On November 02 2012 04:18 RoyGBiv_13 wrote:On November 02 2012 04:10 needcomputer wrote:
Isn't dating at work dangerous? what if you break up! This, but also, do whatever you feel to be a best response to a situation and no one will blame you down the road but yourself. Please at least don't continue flirting/interacting while on the job, that can put you and her and serious jeopardy down the road. Keep love and work separate as much as possible. Absolutely this. It's neat and very convenient to be in love with a co-worker, but it's also going to be freakishly easy to for your relationship to prove a giant distraction in the workplace. Someone mentioned you're being "friend-zoned," and no offense, but that might be the best course of action right now. You want to have a solid, platonic foundation for any relationship, and especially a strong one if you're hoping for a romantic one later down the road. Plus, it will keep you less focused on her when you're both doing your jobs. So don't be afraid to establish a firm friendship before moving up. That's my advice. Lying to girls, masquerading as their friends so you can have sex with them. Much better foundation for a relationship than honestly displaying intent.
What? Nonono. I meant "recommend you don't rush into a romance without a strong friendship underneath," not "suggest you deceive them into getting laid with you." I'm thinking long-term goals here and not a one-time fling. But perhaps that's what the OP is looking for?... I admit, it depends on his ultimate goal. (I'mma reread it again a little more carefully this time...)
EDIT: After rereading it, I can't determine what he has his eyes set upon. Thus, my advice doesn't change: become close friends, escalate later.
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On November 02 2012 04:47 Fumanchu wrote:
Sigh. We kissed okay. Not oral. Kissed.
Sorry there's some other responses, but I have to leave for work now, haven't read them.
lol, you took the bait even though you said you wouldn't
Regardless, best of luck bro, you'll figure it out as long as you stay true to yourself and your values.
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Good luck.
Also no need to tell us anything- we're fine with just pics!
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On November 02 2012 05:37 Monsen wrote:
Good luck.
Also no need to tell us anything- we're fine with just pics!
Pics or it never happened.
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Even though you might be friend zoned, its still better than it was before, good job .
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On November 02 2012 04:45 zalz wrote:Show nested quote +On November 02 2012 04:39 cLAN.Anax wrote:On November 02 2012 04:18 RoyGBiv_13 wrote:On November 02 2012 04:10 needcomputer wrote:
Isn't dating at work dangerous? what if you break up! This, but also, do whatever you feel to be a best response to a situation and no one will blame you down the road but yourself. Please at least don't continue flirting/interacting while on the job, that can put you and her and serious jeopardy down the road. Keep love and work separate as much as possible. Absolutely this. It's neat and very convenient to be in love with a co-worker, but it's also going to be freakishly easy to for your relationship to prove a giant distraction in the workplace. Someone mentioned you're being "friend-zoned," and no offense, but that might be the best course of action right now. You want to have a solid, platonic foundation for any relationship, and especially a strong one if you're hoping for a romantic one later down the road. Plus, it will keep you less focused on her when you're both doing your jobs. So don't be afraid to establish a firm friendship before moving up. That's my advice. Lying to girls, masquerading as their friends so you can have sex with them. Much better foundation for a relationship than honestly displaying intent.
If all you want is sex anyways then just don't bother. Or be waaay more forward. Although Anax did come across a bit sleazy and you are right in pointing that out. What I'm saying is, lovers should be friends as well, I've known too many couples who hated each others guts and only stayed together because "the sex was good". I can tell you, none of them were happy with the arrangement. Every time they talked about their partner it was as if they were trying to quit smoking. Except the cigarettes hated them and shouted at them and made them feel terrible every single day.
Fuck buddies are okay, if you are fine with that sort of things and nobody goes and attaches strings were there should be none, but OP is obviously not gearing up for that kind of stuff. Also, I have yet to experience a friendzone that exists, it's always just a simple or complex reason dressed up as a bad excuse.
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On November 02 2012 04:38 Rekrul wrote:
so you don't kiss and tell but you'll say it without saying it, classy
^this, sounds like you guys hooked up :S
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We talked for about an hour in that car. Engine running
Women are so expensive to treat >
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One last thing. We were talking about music that we liked, and as it was winding down she blurts out, "but I love trance and techno stuff the most of all". And then she sort of turns her ahead away and starts blushing, obviously embarrassed by making that confession.
you like techno?! and she also likes techno !?! I like it too. and I like tim hortons. we should all party some time.
Do you know what to do if you'd like a taste of fur burger?
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Super happy for you dude! I'm glad me read on things in my post on the last blog turned out to be correct! Best of luck to you, it sounds like you've got something really good going for ya!
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On November 02 2012 04:33 Fumanchu wrote:
I never kiss and tell.
On November 02 2012 04:47 Fumanchu wrote:
[...] We kissed okay.[...] Kissed.
Took all of 14 min.
Congrats, I guess.
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On November 02 2012 04:51 cLAN.Anax wrote:Show nested quote +On November 02 2012 04:45 zalz wrote:On November 02 2012 04:39 cLAN.Anax wrote:On November 02 2012 04:18 RoyGBiv_13 wrote:On November 02 2012 04:10 needcomputer wrote:
Isn't dating at work dangerous? what if you break up! This, but also, do whatever you feel to be a best response to a situation and no one will blame you down the road but yourself. Please at least don't continue flirting/interacting while on the job, that can put you and her and serious jeopardy down the road. Keep love and work separate as much as possible. Absolutely this. It's neat and very convenient to be in love with a co-worker, but it's also going to be freakishly easy to for your relationship to prove a giant distraction in the workplace. Someone mentioned you're being "friend-zoned," and no offense, but that might be the best course of action right now. You want to have a solid, platonic foundation for any relationship, and especially a strong one if you're hoping for a romantic one later down the road. Plus, it will keep you less focused on her when you're both doing your jobs. So don't be afraid to establish a firm friendship before moving up. That's my advice. Lying to girls, masquerading as their friends so you can have sex with them. Much better foundation for a relationship than honestly displaying intent. What? Nonono. I meant "recommend you don't rush into a romance without a strong friendship underneath," not "suggest you deceive them into getting laid with you." I'm thinking long-term goals here and not a one-time fling. But perhaps that's what the OP is looking for?... I admit, it depends on his ultimate goal. (I'mma reread it again a little more carefully this time...) EDIT: After rereading it, I can't determine what he has his eyes set upon. Thus, my advice doesn't change: become close friends, escalate later.
You do understand that this is horrible advice for 90% of the guys who have trouble with women/girls, right? Simply because the most common problem isn't to be unable to make connections, it's escalating quickly enough in a reasonable enough timeframe.
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He never shags and tells though. For Realz
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Screw that quit and get a better job instead =)
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On November 02 2012 08:40 Cr4zyH0r5e wrote:Took all of 14 min. Congrats, I guess.
lol.
Congrats! Get in there, slugger
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On November 02 2012 08:54 r.Evo wrote:Show nested quote +On November 02 2012 04:51 cLAN.Anax wrote:On November 02 2012 04:45 zalz wrote:On November 02 2012 04:39 cLAN.Anax wrote:On November 02 2012 04:18 RoyGBiv_13 wrote:On November 02 2012 04:10 needcomputer wrote:
Isn't dating at work dangerous? what if you break up! This, but also, do whatever you feel to be a best response to a situation and no one will blame you down the road but yourself. Please at least don't continue flirting/interacting while on the job, that can put you and her and serious jeopardy down the road. Keep love and work separate as much as possible. Absolutely this. It's neat and very convenient to be in love with a co-worker, but it's also going to be freakishly easy to for your relationship to prove a giant distraction in the workplace. Someone mentioned you're being "friend-zoned," and no offense, but that might be the best course of action right now. You want to have a solid, platonic foundation for any relationship, and especially a strong one if you're hoping for a romantic one later down the road. Plus, it will keep you less focused on her when you're both doing your jobs. So don't be afraid to establish a firm friendship before moving up. That's my advice. Lying to girls, masquerading as their friends so you can have sex with them. Much better foundation for a relationship than honestly displaying intent. What? Nonono. I meant "recommend you don't rush into a romance without a strong friendship underneath," not "suggest you deceive them into getting laid with you." I'm thinking long-term goals here and not a one-time fling. But perhaps that's what the OP is looking for?... I admit, it depends on his ultimate goal. (I'mma reread it again a little more carefully this time...) EDIT: After rereading it, I can't determine what he has his eyes set upon. Thus, my advice doesn't change: become close friends, escalate later. You do understand that this is horrible advice for 90% of the guys who have trouble with women/girls, right? Simply because the most common problem isn't to be unable to make connections, it's escalating quickly enough in a reasonable enough timeframe.
I don't know the timeframe he's dealing with here. Don't have a clue how long he's known this person, she's known him, how long they've acknowledged each other's existence, etc. And again, I'm still lost on what exactly his priority is here. Sex? Girlfriend? Marriage? I simply don't know. If I knew more, I would advise more accurately. But as it stands, I'm sticking with my original advice. Enjoy your friendship to its fullest, no matter how long it persists.
And @DerNebel: Lolwut? How in the world was I being "sleazy?" X-D If I somehow came across as "sleazy," my bad. That was most definitely not my intentions, lolol!
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You could like read the full story. It's all in there.
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Awww <3
Lucky you hehe, hope it works out for you guys ^_^
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On November 02 2012 11:46 r.Evo wrote:
You could like read the full story. It's all in there.
I did, and then I read Part 1 as well. Cleared a couple things up, but only after some more confusion.
Honestly? It sounds like a mere crush if you ask me. And it's entirely possible she just has a crush on you as well. Being over the course of less than a month (2-3 weeks max?), I still stand my original advice: it's too soon for anything more than getting to know her better. Rushing to bed with her is a bad idea in my opinion, 'specially with her just getting out of a previous relationship, as we've been told.
OP, if you're really bent on this girl and think she's not worth passing up, then sit her down, one-on-one, and have a straight-up, candid conversation with her about both of your feelings, what kind of relationship you want and can agree on, etc. If she declines that talk, wait a couple weeks and politely ask her again if you still feel strongly about her.
That's all I gotta say about this. At the end of the day, though, it's your choice. I'm out.
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It's always a great idea to tell people you know for a week that you need to have a serious discussion about this whole marriage thing.
Be with each other, have fun, verbalize it.
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I once kissed a girl.
Once.
I won't reign on your parade. That hot-blooded feeling you get, the anticipation, it's all awesome.
Ah, to be young again.
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Thanks to everyone who contributed heartfelt advice. There's a lot of good points made in here.
I'm definitely in the camp of wanting to take things slower. However, I'm making sure that she knows that I don't want to be just friends forever.
As for sitting down and having a straight up conversation, well that's something that I have seriously considered. We have plans for this weekend, so I'll have to see how stuff progresses.
Thanks again guys, I appreciate it.
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As soon as I read "Tim Horton's" I realized that you were Canadian and I feel so happy for you now.
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EPT
