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Blogs > Liquid`NonY
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JustToTry
Profile Joined October 2012
3 Posts
October 09 2012 07:31 GMT
#81
On October 09 2012 16:26 hp.Shell wrote:
Doing god things for others brings a smile to my face.

You can have happiness through something as simple as breathing.


How long have you suffered from depression and was there a cause to it?
TheKefka
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Croatia11752 Posts
October 09 2012 07:33 GMT
#82
On October 09 2012 16:31 coL.Minigun wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 09 2012 16:26 TheKefka wrote:
On October 09 2012 16:08 coL.Minigun wrote:

On October 09 2012 16:01 TheKefka wrote:
Can someone that suffers from clinical depression explain to me some things.Why don't you just kill yourself?
Tyler states there is no point to life,which I agree with.If you share that view and you are in a constant state of low mood,have no interests and pleasures in life,what is the point?Why not just end it?Are you too scared to do it?


Many due, hence suicides. The ones that don't have many different reasons not too...I can't speak for others, but it's incredibly hard to actually kill yourself. The guilt from the pain it would cause loved ones. Wanting to be happy, knowing how to get there, but unable to motivate yourself enough to do it.

Yea I understand that.But the "The guilt from the pain it would cause loved ones" argument kinda doesn't hold ground when you cause pain either way just by being there.I mean as I said I have no idea how it is to be around a depressed person constantly but I imagine it's a pretty shitty thing to constantly feel your burden.
Obviously you cant measure the quantity of pain you cause,but constant pain builds up to a point where you either learn to tolerate it,but you are still in pain,or you just give in.
It's sounds to me like being in a bad relationship that you know it's going no where.It's hard to just end it,so you stay,but it doesn't make it better,only ending it and taking time to heal really makes things better.


It's usually no different than being around anyone else. No, you don't always cause others pain. It's like putting on a mask every day, every interaction, you smile act happy, while you are the furthest from it.

And if you have a friend who doesn't do that and instead of helping him you see him as a burden, then he probably wasn't your friend.

Show nested quote +
Seems to me it just comes down to being scared.


Then yes, you have no idea what it's like.

Hmm,k,fair nuff.
Cackle™
HungrySC2
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
United States191 Posts
October 09 2012 07:33 GMT
#83
If you can't be happy with being happy when you're happy then nothing is going to make you happy.
"First say to yourself what you would be; And then do what you have to do. (Epictetus)
Fishriot
Profile Joined May 2010
United States621 Posts
October 09 2012 07:34 GMT
#84
On October 09 2012 15:12 coL.Minigun wrote:
It's painfully apparent who and who hasn't experienced clinical depression.



Yeah. I don't know what to say to the people who are looking for an explanation, because you really can't "logic" your way out of depression (from my experience).
CCsyph
Profile Joined May 2012
United Kingdom97 Posts
October 09 2012 07:35 GMT
#85
Just leave, NonY. It's becoming embarrassingly comical. Just leave.

User was banned for this post.
"I hear you speak and suddenly I'm reminded of how the people I respected most in my life had a problem with authority."
IMHope
Profile Joined February 2011
Korea (South)1241 Posts
October 09 2012 07:39 GMT
#86
On October 09 2012 16:35 CCsyph wrote:
Just leave, NonY. It's becoming embarrassingly comical. Just leave.

I don't know how you can say such a thing. He is clearly expressing what he is going though and telling people that their is a light at the end of the tunnel and you come in here and say this? You clearly don't know what is going on and maybe it is you who should leave if you are going to post comments like that.
Jessica Jung, Kim Taeyeon, Kwon Yuri <333
iBleeedOrange
Profile Joined November 2010
United States5 Posts
October 09 2012 07:41 GMT
#87
I remember hearing you were on medication. I don't know if you are or are not anymore, but you really should speak with your doctor about how you're feeling and seeing where they think you should go if it's a different medication or a therapist etc. I could go on about how there are people who are care about you, etc etc but you've already heard it all.

Just go talk to your doc.
wollhandkrabbe
Profile Joined May 2010
Germany97 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-09 08:00:23
October 09 2012 07:56 GMT
#88
I would like to urge everyone who feels contempt or aggression towards Nony, or towards people who suffer from clinical depression in general, to take a few seconds and read up on the Just-world hypothesis:

Because it’s far too frightening for many to accept that bad things can happen to good people, and therefore that they themselves have no control over whether bad things might happen to them someday, they will instead search for ways to differentiate themselves from victims of ill fortune. For example, outsiders might deride people whose houses were destroyed by a tornado, blaming them for choosing to live in a disaster-prone area or for not building a stronger house.


taken from here.

wikipedia


Nony openly discusses and fights the condition that affects his thoughts and actions. You should do too.
Temerarious Trout
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
174 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-09 08:02:39
October 09 2012 08:02 GMT
#89
On October 09 2012 16:35 CCsyph wrote:
Just leave, NonY. It's becoming embarrassingly comical. Just leave.


Someone please report this fool for being a tool, or is he a tool being a fool?
Feel it first, think about it later
kefkalives
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Australia1272 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-09 08:18:03
October 09 2012 08:17 GMT
#90
On October 09 2012 16:35 CCsyph wrote:
Just leave, NonY. It's becoming embarrassingly comical. Just leave.


Piece of shit detected. instead of posting negative things on the internet you don't know why don't you go hang out with some of your friends?

Oh well, at least you can find solace in the fact that nothing you ever say will be worth all that much if that's your honest outlook on other people.
prOxi.bOn ; \\ What makes most people feel happy/Leads us headlong into harm.
Testuser
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
6469 Posts
October 09 2012 08:25 GMT
#91
Nony, I'll be honest - and both you and possibly many other people wont like this: Live another life.

It's quite obvious that, for whatever reason, what currently is happening isn't making you happy. If you don't, in what you do currently, find the happiness and joy and reason that you want to find in life, then do something else. Don't hope it'll change - if it does it probably won't be for good.

Sorry to say, but I think you should look for other horizons. What other things besides gaming do you long for? Find your answer there, I think. As much as it'd pain me to lose such a prominent figure - one that's been here forever, long before I joined TL and ways before I started watching BW too, this might be the right course of action.

Luck to you, whatever you do.
https://soundcloud.com/papercranesdk
inSeason
Profile Joined October 2010
United States40 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-09 08:46:59
October 09 2012 08:28 GMT
#92
I just want you to be happy NonY, do what ever you need to do to get better. After all, nothing else matters.

edit: #1 Reading responses

Wow, the advice being given is pretty laughable. My favorite was "Just go to your doctor."

NonY is doing everything in his power to relieve himself of the torture he is being put through of existing in a world without meaning and happiness. Out lashes like this are last resorts of these feelings. I'd try to break it down for you, but depression is not easily understood without experiencing it for yourself. Just imagine a black hole where positive emotions are suppose to be.

There is VERY little the community can do to help NonY. Finding meaning, in a meaningless world, is a journey NonY must walk alone.
The Fruit Has Been Dealt!
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
October 09 2012 08:31 GMT
#93
theres always a reason and that reason is WHY THE HELL NOT
why so 진지해?
Irrational_Animal
Profile Joined August 2010
Germany1059 Posts
October 09 2012 08:33 GMT
#94
Talk to your doctor and think about getting therapy(if you don`t do so already) and/or stationary treatment until you get out of the worst stage of your current depressive episode. Once you did that think about setting new goals and develop routines that allow you to achieve those goals. These goals don`t have to give your life a meaning in the first place but they structure your thoughts and actions. Why not finishing your B.A. work? Frankly, I think your current SC2 carreer seems rather detrimental to your overall situation as it is unlikely that you will ever reach a point in SC2 that would give you the relevant satisfaction.
FILM
Profile Joined September 2010
United States663 Posts
October 09 2012 08:40 GMT
#95
On October 09 2012 17:31 Rekrul wrote:
theres always a reason and that reason is WHY THE HELL NOT


I can dig this.
Artosis:  "It's like Detroit in there."   Tasteless:  "Lots of shootings and damaged buildings."
Temerarious Trout
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
174 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-09 08:44:27
October 09 2012 08:43 GMT
#96
On October 09 2012 17:31 Rekrul wrote:
theres always a reason and that reason is WHY THE HELL NOT



There is always a :
Reason. And that reason is -
Why the hell not?

+ Show Spoiler +
Heh. I'm trying too hard to force things.
Feel it first, think about it later
makmeatt
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
2024 Posts
October 09 2012 08:44 GMT
#97
On October 09 2012 17:31 Rekrul wrote:
theres always a reason and that reason is WHY THE HELL NOT

And even if there is no reason, then why the hell not?
"Silver Edge can't break my hope" - Kryptt 2016 || "Chrono is not a debuff, you just get rekt" - Guru 2016
eohs
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States677 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-09 08:47:55
October 09 2012 08:47 GMT
#98
On October 09 2012 17:33 Irrational_Animal wrote:
Talk to your doctor and think about getting therapy(if you don`t do so already) and/or stationary treatment until you get out of the worst stage of your current depressive episode. Once you did that think about setting new goals and develop routines that allow you to achieve those goals. These goals don`t have to give your life a meaning in the first place but they structure your thoughts and actions. Why not finishing your B.A. work? Frankly, I think your current SC2 carreer seems rather detrimental to your overall situation as it is unlikely that you will ever reach a point in SC2 that would give you the relevant satisfaction.


Just by reading your statement I can tell you have never been depressed or fully depressed as bad as I have before or maybe even Nony *just because I do not know the full length of his depression*

I think People need to understand that there are no goals when you are depressed. Its more of I fucking don't want to be awake right now, I would rather be sleeping the day away or laying down just thinking about things non - stop over and over again. I dont even have a reason why I am depressed I grew up good, I live with amazing people, I put myself with amazing ppl. However for no reason like a switch of a light I get depressed. Depression is to hard to explain its very very hard to even compare it to something. Because it affects ppl in different ways. I feel like nothing, I feel like i could lay down and do NOTHING all day, you feel like shit, you don't want to eat, you don't want to play video games you don't want to watch tv, you dont want to go out, you want to lay down and do nothing. Its that simple your mind is racing about dumb things maybe problems you face, or even putting yourself down * that you are nothing in this world *
Doctors are NOT always the answer, I have seen more doctors then I can count, I have taken so many different types of pill for it , over 15 different kinds. Nothing has helped me. So saying you need to set goals , or go to a doctor or talk about your problems. Sometimes there isn't any problems. I know you was just trying to help. But hopefully this sheds some light on why some of things wont work.
I have been thru this shit since i was 18 years old im 26 now. Nothing has changed or got better everyday is different for me. Some days I am the "old Marc" I used to be hanging with friends being a joker, some days im nothing laying in a bed for 24 hours doing nothing.
WELCOME TO THE PARTY
humblegar
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Norway883 Posts
October 09 2012 09:02 GMT
#99
This is mostly for those that obviously don't know what a depression is (quite a few reading this thread):

Living with a black dog.

Thank you sharing Tyler, don't have much advice to give other than to reach out for help when you can.
infinity2k9
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United Kingdom2397 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-09 09:12:46
October 09 2012 09:04 GMT
#100
After taking ketamine the first time and having a near-death experience from it i got stuck in a mindset of constantly escaping reality, which was seeming more and more meaningless, until i was doing it every day and nothing else. Lost all emotional feeling and the motivation to do any thing, all i did was question my existence and snort ketamine most of the day to stop the thoughts and have peace for a few hours before back into the reasoning. The entire human existance i could only see as if it was an outside perspective, unable to think about anything, watch anything, without analyzing the reasoning for the people involved. After a while of extremely heavy use it started seriously hurting my bladder and i had no choice to stop. The spark you describe was the only bit of hope keeping me going, but it was barely there and rare. Rest of the time was just sitting in silence with no thoughts on k, sitting or laying anywhere in silence demotivated doing the bare minimum to live, reading when i could think straight enough to do it. Not being able to listen to or enjoy music was particularly bad for me.

Now a bit further on after completely stopping, i notice feelings generally returning.. i just really hope they are still there. The good and the bad feelings, because having neither and being basically a mental zombie is a really, really, miserable experience. I don't know if it was chemically induced depression exactly or what, but the OP sounds all so familiar. Especially the part about pretending nothing has changed to people.. trying to keep up appearances and go about as normal with these thoughts on your mind was one of the worst parts, really hurts socially. I never felt suicidal either because it still felt fundamentally irrational no matter how far my mind slipped.. maybe inherent beliefs play a role in that decision for people.

Edit: wow the post on the last page by JustToTry explains it very clearly, the depersonalization and everything.. exact same thought about suicide too.
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