EPTThere's no reason - Page 2
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Sephy90
United States1785 Posts
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ROOTFayth
Canada3351 Posts
why not just take medicine? | ||
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happyft
United States470 Posts
For the past 12 months I've been struggling with lack of motivation, willpower, or caring of any kind for any of the things I used to be invested in and care so deeply about. Quit my 6 figure job, isolated myself from all my friends, stopped every hobby and volunteer activity. Went through self-pity, self-hatred, self-anger -- nothing got me going. Then I came to a realization -- this whole time, I've been waiting for myself to feel better. I was waiting to feel something, anything. I was trying to motivate myself before I actually did anything. I was looking for inspiration, to be convicted about something. I was waiting for this feeling of apathy, isolation and self-pity to pass. I waited 12 months for that. And it never came. And I suddenly realized that I kept thinking that it was okay for me to wait for my feelings to come back. And while I was waiting, real life had been passing me by. For no reason at all, I lost almost everything I enjoyed in my life. Now, I'm not waiting anymore. And my feelings haven't come back either. But that won't stop me from proposing to my girlfriend, to applying to grad school, to getting back in touch with all my friends and explain to them why I suddenly cut them off for a year. I still go through days or even a week of letting my depression paralyze me, and I end up doing nothing. But I pick myself up again. Because I won't let real life pass me by while I wait for my feelings to return. + Show Spoiler + ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/rpwJl.jpg) | ||
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OhSix
United States252 Posts
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MountainDewJunkie
United States10344 Posts
On October 09 2012 14:13 ROOTFayth wrote: I guess I can't relate to any of that why not just take medicine? Band-aid. | ||
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i.of.the.storm
United States795 Posts
Obviously I'm no expert, but if you do ever read this I suggest picking something that you've wanted to do and go do it, dedicate yourself to it completely, and see if it helps? I also find that if I can't find peace with myself, it's a huge mental boost to help others out in some way, to make a difference in someone else's life in some way that I can manage using whatever resources I have. I know we all have our own unique talents and abilities and there are few things that feel better than helping or mentoring someone, and with your experience I think you can really make an impact on people if that's what you put your mind to. GLHF | ||
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corpuscle
United States1967 Posts
People who are clinically depressed are not just going through a rough patch, they don't need logical answers to their issues, they aren't just being whiny. It's a disease, not a state of mind. If you think you're being helpful by pointing out why a depressed person "should" be happy or suggesting ways to get out of a temporary bad mood, you're not being helpful. It sounds silly, but that's pretty much the same thing as telling someone who has the flu that you're totally fine and they should do X, Y, and Z and they'll be healthy again. It just doesn't work that way, and you're being demeaning to people who suffer from depression when you belittle it by saying they're just being irrational. I guess I can't relate to any of that why not just take medicine? Antidepressants provide some relief, but they don't cure/prevent/treat anything. They're like painkillers... if you have a busted knee, they give you percs so you can go through PT and actually fix the problem without it being excruciating. | ||
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Polarexia
United States383 Posts
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Garnet
Vietnam9033 Posts
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butter
United States785 Posts
If you ask someone "why?", over and over, until the only thing left to explain is the common reason for doing anything at all, for living, for being happy, you will be met with irrationality. I can't tell you how many times I've been frustrated by my own ineloquence when trying to express this precise idea. Becoming exasperated at my stubbornness, my father would ask me something like "well why do you want to do that?", and all I could say is "I don't know". | ||
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ROOTFayth
Canada3351 Posts
On October 09 2012 14:19 corpuscle wrote: Every time I read a thread like this, I regret reading the comments because it just reinforces how misinformed people are about depression. People who are clinically depressed are not just going through a rough patch, they don't need logical answers to their issues, they aren't just being whiny. It's a disease, not a state of mind. If you think you're being helpful by pointing out why a depressed person "should" be happy or suggesting ways to get out of a temporary bad mood, you're not being helpful. It sounds silly, but that's pretty much the same thing as telling someone who has the flu that you're totally fine and they should do X, Y, and Z and they'll be healthy again. It just doesn't work that way, and you're being demeaning to people who suffer from depression when you belittle it by saying they're just being irrational. Antidepressants provide some relief, but they don't cure/prevent/treat anything. They're like painkillers... if you have a busted knee, they give you percs so you can go through PT and actually fix the problem without it being excruciating. antidepressants + therapy then don't just sit there and do nothing he probably has people looking out for him, he has a fiance afaik... (I'm guessing in his current state of mind he wouldn't go out and seek help by himself) | ||
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aeonsies
United States29 Posts
On October 09 2012 14:13 ROOTFayth wrote: I guess I can't relate to any of that why not just take medicine? Contrary to popular belief we don't have a magic pill that fixes all our issues. While we do have anti depressant medication it does not work for everyone, most have numerous side effects and are very expensive. In addition all anti depressants are habit forming which many people forgo taking them for this reason alone. | ||
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FoxerGames
Australia120 Posts
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ROOTFayth
Canada3351 Posts
nomsayin | ||
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syst
United States247 Posts
-- One of the most difficult parts of life, in my experience, has been to find meaning in an inherently meaningless universe. The two reasons you mentioned that need answers are interesting, but I'd argue that to hold them in your mind at all is to keep them forever out of reach. To deconstruct reality and have those questions (How do I find the will to survive? How do I feel even a desire to be happy?) is to approach the problem from the wrong angle. Those questions can be answered but not with an ultra rational worldview. To know that you are the god of your own reality can be a disheartening experience especially to those of us trained to be logical and reasonable. We will end up experiencing any action we see as an effect by a reasonable cause (even unidentifiable chaos is reasonable at this stage because the universe is chaotic by nature). Sad things become more understandable (and seem more bearable) and happy or exciting things become expected and boring. Eventually no perceived events are particularly happy, or exciting, or sad. Without realizing it, our logical and reasonable philosophy towards life has contributed to a long term feeling akin to being dead -- depression. Without emotional reactions, our drive to do anything has lifted. I've been trying to get more in touch with emotional responses to things. This is difficult due to a propensity to view things through a logical lens. However, there's an enormous amount of experiences available to us by allowing our emotions to stay open within the present moment. You will experience bad and good, sad and happy both. It takes an embrace of something primal. It takes not caring how other people view your emotions and how you, yourself, view your emotions. As a side note, it also requires that you cease negatively judging the expressing of emotions by others. Tyler, have you considered consistent, regular, practiced meditation to try to get in touch with your emotions? Many people who meditate (and many proper Buddhist teachers) are very emotional people yet also look at the world with reasonable eyes. The regular practice of meditation can bring the practitioner into the present moment more often and eventually permanently. Being in the present is a strange phrase that doesn't really do it justice. You will still use everything you've learned in the past to properly judge events happening in the present. What it does is it liberates you from your perceived identity. By practicing releasing your identity, you can be more open to trying ways of thinking that your assumed identity would not have. For people like me, who are really stubborn and are stuck finding happiness on their own terms (aka, those who think for themselves), I really haven't been able to find anything better than meditation. Remember, too, that depression is partly (and after a long time, perhaps mostly) due to brain wiring. Meditation is basically a method of creating new, calm and peaceful neural pathways. This helps your day to day life improve even if you don't wear orange robes and claim to be a member of the Buddhist tradition. All of that (seriously) is bullshit anyways. The juice is in meditation. I practice zen but I study rarely. If you're curious about meditation I can help. Good luck, man! I do not know, but I have faith that you can succeed. | ||
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ROOTFayth
Canada3351 Posts
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MountainDewJunkie
United States10344 Posts
On October 09 2012 14:30 ROOTFayth wrote: this thread is depressing nomsayin So is this one knowmean | ||
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EnderSword
Canada669 Posts
On October 09 2012 14:13 ROOTFayth wrote: I guess I can't relate to any of that why not just take medicine? The Medicines have dramatically different impacts on people. I've had 2 'mild' suicide attempts, and both were within 2 weeks of starting medications. Unfortunately many antidepressants have a side effect that you feel much worse while you adjust, or they leave you feeling incredibly numbed or dead and slow thinking, is something the often warn about. While they totally help a lot of people, for some its just not a solution at all. In my case I was always generally a bit depressed, but more just bored with things a lot. When I was 17 got into an accident and experience a lot of just constant pain all the time, not screaming pain, just dull and the type that just tires you out. That kind of made the depression side worse obviously, and back then I had to try medications. I never found success with any and eventually just stopped. It had been off things for years and years, and it was actually Tyler coming out and mentioning medications again that I figured I'd try again...somehow I thought of depression as a 'Teenager' problem and even though I clearly had it, thought I was too old to bother treating it. I tried a couple medications, and again while those just led to me taking too many sleeping pills one night, it did get me to look into it more generally and I did find things that helped me improve how I sleep which helps me deal with the pain side of things. But in terms of the general feeling, aside from pain, I totally agree with Tyler on how you feel...its rarely connected at all with how you 'should' feel. Often the times I've felt the worst are the times it is objectively the best. Times I've been doing well financially, had lots of friends, had a long term girlfriend, doing well in school or work...It's almost the fact that these good things do not make you happy that you're more unhappy. You're kind of left thinking "Well...What else do I have to do?" Eventually you hit the point where you just don't even want anything else 'cause you can't see it making any difference. Wanted to say both that I empathize, and being aware of your situation did lead me to make some improvements for myself, but its still basically the same in general. I'm also aware that while I've never been comforted by the idea that other people have the same issues, I still feel compelled to say that that is the case. | ||
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MountainDewJunkie
United States10344 Posts
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corpuscle
United States1967 Posts
On October 09 2012 14:26 ROOTFayth wrote: antidepressants + therapy then don't just sit there and do nothing he probably has people looking out for him, he has a fiance afaik... (I'm guessing in his current state of mind he wouldn't go out and seek help by himself) it's not like therapy and antidepressants is an instant fix... it's a complicated disease that has only been acknowledged as a real thing for 30-40 years, so nobody actually knows how to cure it. it's also worth noting that even someone who's relatively stable and happy can have depressive episodes, especially when stressed Pardon me, but what constitutes as a "mind" suicide attempt? Attempted suicide is serious, not mild. You either tried or you didn't. I'm not sure if this is exactly what he meant but there's such a thing as a "suicidal episode" which is when you come close to a suicide attempt and stop before then. If, for example, you go to the edge of a cliff and stand there trying to will yourself to jump and realize you can't do it, it's not an "attempt," but it's obviously a meaningful event, psychologically. | ||
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