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Active: 1621 users

My messed up views on women, relationships, money - Page 2

Blogs > TuElite
Post a Reply
Prev 1 2 3 Next All
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
August 29 2012 19:14 GMT
#21
[image loading]
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
bITt.mAN
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Switzerland3693 Posts
August 29 2012 19:33 GMT
#22
It mostly comes down to self esteem I think. If I see a nice girl, that I would want to be with. I think to myself, no way I can afford to get her what she deserves. She deserves designer bags and clothes, a nice car and a highly fashionable man by her side. She needs a man that’ll make her friends jealous, someone to boast her status and to elevate her further. And I’m not that guy.


Your views on this are wrong. Who are you to limit the possibilities and happiness you could share with a lady, simply because the way you'd interact wouldn't fit into the playa stereotype? I can understand why there's inhibition and a barrier to seeking out lady friends, if this is the only way you believe you could make her happy. Be you. Only that its kinda harder for you to find someone who would enjoy you, because you're not so much 'on the market', and your entire life doesn't revolve around hunting down and paying for bedtime-playtimes.


Back to women, wanting to make more and more money is also linked to desire to be able to tell myself that I “deserve” and I’m “worth” better and better women as I’m able to afford the expensive taste of women of higher quality. I know this probably sound really macho and probably even stupid but that’s how I think…


'to be able to tell myself I am worth more, because I've made more money' Bad value system to base your identity on, bro. Again, you're not all that into 'the game', and that's OK, so go figure you can't catch the big fishettes, you haven't advanced to that level yet. Actually, if you want real happiness and satisfaction, chasin it all over the clubs really isn't the best way to go.
Don't think so much about what it costs, and try to enjoy spending the time with the people instead. See it like this: value the enjoyment and fun you're having with them over what it costs. Don't only hang out with people who get you down 'cause all they can talk about is how much they're blowin, to get blown. Find you some good people, k?
<3 Girl blogs
BW4LYF . . . . . . PM me, I LOVE PMs. . . . . . Long live "NaDa's Body" . . . . . . Fantasy | Bisu/Best | Jaedong . . . . .
Iranon
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States983 Posts
August 29 2012 19:46 GMT
#23
I was right with you for the first three paragraphs, and then hopped off that train as soon as I go to the "so I just sit around and dump all my money into internet poker". As others have said, go to a community college and get yourself a job. Or something. If you're used to being thrifty (I'm a grad student, so I know all about that -- I mentally price things in terms of how many Subway sandwiches they cost), you can live very comfortably on surprisingly little annual income (~30k/yr in the US is plenty if you're not buying stupid shit left and right). If possible, get a job in a field you find interesting/fun/meaningful. If you can't pull that off, whatever, do that stuff nights and weekends.

As far as girls, I'll just say that there's more to it than buying them things and some macho posturing. At least, there is for the "nice" girls that you mentioned who are real relationship material. Talk to some of them sometime and see what else there is.
ssi.bal-listic
Profile Joined October 2010
United States568 Posts
August 29 2012 19:49 GMT
#24
Good read
For me I value experience over money. Sure of course u need money to have all kinds of experiences but honestly objects are worth less than ur memories
"It's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you" "The strong one doesn't win, the one that wins is strong"
Bentus
Profile Joined May 2012
Germany86 Posts
August 29 2012 19:58 GMT
#25
go for a sports team or club... there you can improve yourself but still be with some people and it isn´t that expensive
Luepert
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States1933 Posts
August 29 2012 20:22 GMT
#26
I barely initiate activities with friends, maybe one a year, but we stay friends by skyping and playing LoL or SC2. If it weren't for gaming, when I moved away I wouldn't still have my best childhood friends.
esports
ecstatica
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
United States542 Posts
August 29 2012 20:29 GMT
#27
I usually advice to start from getting laid. I know youre incapable right now but even a hooker qualifies. Once youve tried being with a woman you should be able to prioritize more. 80$ for an hour of sex seems like a good investment for you.
NeMeSiS3, Portlandian, Reason,
Jerubaal
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States7684 Posts
August 29 2012 20:30 GMT
#28
I feel like there are very few women of my particular intellect and bent, so my plan is to write a bestselling, yet esoteric, novel that will act like a beacon for potential soulmates.

I'm not stupid, a marauder just shot my brain.
bonifaceviii
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada2890 Posts
August 29 2012 20:40 GMT
#29
On August 30 2012 05:30 Jerubaal wrote:
I feel like there are very few women of my particular intellect and bent, so my plan is to write a bestselling, yet esoteric, novel that will act like a beacon for potential soulmates.

Fifty Shades of Grey?
Stay a while and listen || http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=354018
demMudkipz
Profile Joined August 2012
United States7 Posts
August 29 2012 22:13 GMT
#30
On August 30 2012 05:29 ecstatica wrote:
I usually advice to start from getting laid. I know youre incapable right now but even a hooker qualifies. Once youve tried being with a woman you should be able to prioritize more. 80$ for an hour of sex seems like a good investment for you.


^ That is horrible advice. Pick up a shitfaced co-ed at 2am instead. Probably safer too.
Taeyeon <3
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25553 Posts
August 29 2012 22:35 GMT
#31
On August 30 2012 07:13 demMudkipz wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 30 2012 05:29 ecstatica wrote:
I usually advice to start from getting laid. I know youre incapable right now but even a hooker qualifies. Once youve tried being with a woman you should be able to prioritize more. 80$ for an hour of sex seems like a good investment for you.


^ That is horrible advice. Pick up a shitfaced co-ed at 2am instead. Probably safer too.


^this is also horrible advice. Get into a caring relationship with nice honey you like then slip her the wood. Boning prositutes or unreasonably drunk honeys is not the way to go about it.
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
ZpuX
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Sweden1230 Posts
August 29 2012 22:53 GMT
#32
As a lot of other people already pointed out, to move forward in life you have to invest in yourself and not only in the amount of money you make. By investing in yourself means spending money and time on and with your friends to get new experiences. These are valuable because memories will remain with you forever and is always something to look back on as well as learning how to handle different situations.

However, I do see where you are coming from and I share a lot of your views regarding finding a nice girlfriend or how to keep making more money each year. But by trying different options (meeting new girls, trying different courses at school, working different jobs) you will realize what you are actually looking for, and eventually you will know what kind of girl you really want to meet, what you really wanna work with and hopefully find a way to make sufficient money (or even better, learn how much is sufficient for you).
Really, play for fun!
Kukaracha
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
France1954 Posts
August 29 2012 23:19 GMT
#33
You don't put money "on women", although money can lead to a more comfortable life and thus to more stability and thus to more confidence which is something that everyone around you (except enemies) will appreciate.

Picture a dumb college hippie who thinks he's a great poet and musician. He's broke but he attracts people.

The bottom line is : to be an interesting person, you need to have at least "something" going for you.
Le long pour l'un pour l'autre est court (le mot-à-mot du mot "amour").
aloT
Profile Joined April 2010
England1042 Posts
August 29 2012 23:21 GMT
#34
do you think because you dont spend money on what the average guy you see in tv sitcoms do that you are somehow doing it wrong? I never spend money on beer or designer clothes, but like you I have forked out alot on hardware - and so have my friends. it seems to me like you are just with the wrong social group. what is normal is completely relative, and what is very important is that most mature people wont think negatively of you if you are into gaming, poker and kpop.

and anti-social is the opposite of what i see you do - you write alot of blogs and interact with the kmd community
TuElite
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Canada2123 Posts
August 29 2012 23:26 GMT
#35
On August 30 2012 08:19 Kukaracha wrote:
The bottom line is : to be an interesting person, you need to have at least "something" going for you.


And I don't. If I could at least hide my "nothingness" behind fancy meals and nice hotels maybe it would help my confidence in talking to girls...
Always Smile - Jung Nicole - Follow Nicole on Twitter @_911007 and me @TuElite
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25553 Posts
August 29 2012 23:29 GMT
#36
On August 30 2012 08:26 TuElite wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 30 2012 08:19 Kukaracha wrote:
The bottom line is : to be an interesting person, you need to have at least "something" going for you.


And I don't. If I could at least hide my "nothingness" behind fancy meals and nice hotels maybe it would help my confidence in talking to girls...


I wouldn't try to think like that, also, what,hotels

If you want to help your confidence with the honeys hiding behind cash isn't how you do it. To be confident with the honeys you gotta be confident with yourself. Take up a hobby of some sort, (if you have time that is), like poetry or music or something where you can go hang out with people while you do it. Yeah learn how to do spoken-word poetry!

Then the honeys will want you, and on top of that, you'll know they want you cause they want YOU, not cause they want... hotels
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
Kukaracha
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
France1954 Posts
August 29 2012 23:34 GMT
#37
On August 30 2012 08:26 TuElite wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 30 2012 08:19 Kukaracha wrote:
The bottom line is : to be an interesting person, you need to have at least "something" going for you.


And I don't. If I could at least hide my "nothingness" behind fancy meals and nice hotels maybe it would help my confidence in talking to girls...


Some people have something going for them from the start, but most don't. However, there are many traits you can aquire and that will make you an interesting person - given that you put the necessary work into it.

Picture a douchebag with muscles everywhere, a cancerous tan and a stupid haircut. He can have ladies. He's dumb as a rock, ugly and... well, a douche, but he put some work into something.

I don't know you, but I can at least tell you have more potential than that man (and he gets laid).
Le long pour l'un pour l'autre est court (le mot-à-mot du mot "amour").
demMudkipz
Profile Joined August 2012
United States7 Posts
August 30 2012 00:16 GMT
#38
On August 30 2012 07:35 Blazinghand wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 30 2012 07:13 demMudkipz wrote:
On August 30 2012 05:29 ecstatica wrote:
I usually advice to start from getting laid. I know youre incapable right now but even a hooker qualifies. Once youve tried being with a woman you should be able to prioritize more. 80$ for an hour of sex seems like a good investment for you.


^ That is horrible advice. Pick up a shitfaced co-ed at 2am instead. Probably safer too.


^this is also horrible advice. Get into a caring relationship with nice honey you like then slip her the wood. Boning prositutes or unreasonably drunk honeys is not the way to go about it.



Point taken, Blazinghand. I think thats what the OP wants anyways.
Taeyeon <3
Tal
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
United Kingdom1017 Posts
August 30 2012 00:50 GMT
#39
I think you're blocking off socialising by just criticising the lowest end of it. Perhaps buying fancy clothes, drinking expensive beer and seeing the latest movies seems like a bad investment, but what about going to hear a symphony with some friends? That's incredible value for money.

If you don't want to spend money there are parks, art galleries and even your home. Instead of buying great headphones buy a great soundsystem, and you can invite friends/dates over. You can also cook/ learn to cook for them. Essentially what I'm saying is you can be very sociable without spending much money.

Or if you do spend money, realise what you're paying for. When you go out to have beers, you're not just paying for the beers - the price includes the cool environment you all get to hang out in.

Also Torte De Lini's right - it's normal to worry about wasting money.
It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.
Eben
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States769 Posts
August 30 2012 01:10 GMT
#40
I envy your ability to save money, I could really use those skills.
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